Stars of Charon (Legacy of the Thar'esh Book 1) (35 page)

Loid and Chen
looked at me, puzzled.

“You’re
asking
him
?” Chen asked.

The
forgotten memory had been swimming in my mind since Chen had mentioned the
poison. I took a breath.

Lee held
my gaze. His eyes were intense, but tired.

I delved
into my memories.

“It’s a biogenically
developed cancer tied to a slow-decay radioactive agent.” I said slowly. “The
radioactivity infects all neighboring tissue and creates a cascading effect.”

“Treatment?”

“The
Draugari don’t have any,” I answered as I drew upon Lor’ten’s memories. “I
don’t think they developed it, they just know how to create it. Once it’s set,
it is irreversible. But then the Draugari don’t really focus on coming up with
a cures, sickness is weakness. Lee, please believe me that until just now, I
didn’t know. I didn’t remember.”

Lee nodded
his head slowly, satisfied.

“Oh, so now
he’s a doctor?” Chen asked. “I don’t see how he could possibly know that.”

“Oh,” Lee
said as he slipped his weight onto a bench. “He knows.”

“I hate
to interrupt this very strange and confusing moment,” Loid broke in. “But I
need to get my ship prepped for a fight. Can I go now?”

“I
suppose it’s time,” Lee replied as he slowly got to his feet. “Eli, I have
something of yours. Growd’s guys had it locked up.”

He
reached behind him and pulled out my blade, still in the sheath.

“Chen,
Loid, you’re here to witness this, and let me apologize in advance for that.
The law says I need a medical expert and an unaffiliated third party,” Lee said
slowly. “Eli, this thing in my shoulder is going to kill me. Chen’s right, I
shouldn’t be out of bed, and to be honest I’m on enough stims that I’m having
trouble seeing straight. Back there in the fighting I couldn’t see shit, didn’t
even take a shot.”

“Then how
are you going to fly?” I asked.

“I’m
not,” he said flatly as he held out my blade to me. “You are.”

It took a
few seconds for the weight of his words to sink in.

“The
kid?” Chen looked from Lee to me. “No offence, but you don’t know how to fly
one of those things, do you?”

I shook
my head softly, my eyes locked on the knife in Lee’s hand.

“He
will,” Lee said softly.

Somewhere
behind me Loid took a steep intake of breath followed by a curse.

“I won’t
do it,” I said flatly.

“Yes, you
will,” Lee answered. “I can’t fly that last bird, and we need all twelve in the
air. We’re out numbered. One ship can well be the difference between life and
death for us all. And I wasn’t kidding, this shoulder is killing me anyway. You
know that, Eli.”

Despite
my best efforts to maintain control, a tear ran down my cheek.

“Eli, I
think now is the time for you to explain,” Loid said softly from behind me.

Again
there was silence as I struggled with the words.

“I am the
last Thar’esh,” I said softly. “I was on this world when the terraformers came,
we were living here. And I somehow survived.”

“A
Thar’esh,” Loid whispered with an air of finality that sent a shiver up my
spine. “And what did Growd find out there?”

“Charons,”
I responded. “Memories. The collected memories of the history of the Thar’esh.
I looked into them, I saw some what they held.”

“Memories?
You ‘looked into’ memories?” Chen asked. “This is all nonsense.”

“No, it’s
not,” Lee approached me face to face. “I saw him with the Draugari who shot me.
Eli killed him, stole his memories, and saved our lives.”

“Stole
his memories?” Chen echoed.

“So,” Lee
continued, facing me. “Thar’esh is it? And I thought those were just
fairy-stories. Shadows and darkness.  I’m glad you found some truth out there.”

“Wait,
you’re telling me that when we found you, you were recovering from somehow
surviving the terraforming event?” Chen asked as he put it all together. “It
turned you from what did you call it? A Thar’esh? What is that? It turned you
into a human? That’s not possible.”

“Forget
that it’s not supposed to be possible,” Lee answered. “Does it fit?”

“Fit?”

“Does
what he just said make sense against what was wrong with him when we found
him?”

Chen was
silent, “Well, maybe. Maybe
theoretically
! But not seriously!”

“Take the
knife,” Lee held it out to me.

I didn’t.

“Dammit
boy, my daughter is up there, I can’t help her, but you can.”

I reached
out and took the blade by the hilt. My hand shook. Lee pulled the scabbard,
laying the blade bare.

“Chen
Kerber,” Lee said quietly. “As my attending physician, I want you to verify
that my condition is terminal, and bear witness that I am asking Eli to perform
my legal euthanization in accordance with the method I choose.”

“You’re
insane!”

“I am sound
of mind and failing body.”

“Sound of
mind? You’re asking the boy to stab you to death?”

“Just say
yes,” Loid said, putting his hand on Chen’s shoulder.

Lee
turned his head from me, met Loid’s eyes, and nodded.

“I
witness,” Chen said, his voice weak. “But I cannot condone.”

“Loid
Burns,” Lee continued.

“I
witness and verify,” Loid answered. “I will take care of them. Both of them.”

Without
another word, Lee stepped forward, wrapping his hand around my own, and positioning
the blade against his gut.

“Elicio
the Thar’esh,” he said quietly in my ear. “People’s lives are at stake. Lin’s
life is at stake, and I’m dying either way. This gives all those people a
chance.”

“I’m
sorry,” I said quietly.

“No boy,
I am,” he drew a breath. “I don’t want to make you do this, and I don’t want to
saddle you with the burdens I already carry. But there is no other way. Maybe
if you live through this day you will succeed where I failed.”

Before I
could ask what he meant, his grip over my hand tightened, and with a powerful
yaulp, he screamed as our hands together thrust the blade up beneath his ribs
into his chest.

Chapter 36.

I paced.

Endlessly paced.

My eyes traced along the floor, looking at the grout where
the ceramic plates were fused to the walls. Every time I walked passed my eyes
lingered on one small notch where the grouting was missing, a shadow, an imperfection.
The workers probably had to switch to a new batch at that point. It was
nothing. It was irrelevant. Six millimeters of grout amongst miles of corridors
on the ship. But I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Every time I passed, my
mind fixated on that one little notch.

“Lieutenant?”

I spun to see an orderly. She looked young, far too young to
be here.

“Lieutenant Lee McCullough?”

“Yes, that’s me,” I wiped my sweaty palms on the pants of my
uniform and straightened my lapel.

“Your wife is fine, as is your daughter,” she said with a
slight smile. “Please, follow me.”

My feet carried me lightly down the hall behind her. Halfway
down the hall she stopped, opened a door, and gestured me inside.

My heart jumped as I saw the empty bed, but I caught my breath
when I saw Linaea in the rocking chair by the window. The chair a dark wood,
synthetic I was sure, but a reasonable facsimile. For all the rough living, the
fleet took pains to make the hospital facilities on carriers as comfortable as
possible.

“Lee,” Linaea’s voice was soft. “Everything is fine. She’s
fine. I’m fine. Where is Marin?”

“With Corporal Graves,” I answered. “I figured you would want
some quiet. I will bring him later today.”

“Thank you,” she said without looking up. “Come here, hold her.”

She shifted the little bundle of cloth that she was cradling,
a small arm poked out from between the folds. Five little fingers, I quickly
counted. I reached down and took her without hesitation. My right hand could
almost reach completely around her. So tiny. So fragile. I gently pushed aside
the blanket. Her skin was pink, eyes closed, on the top of her head were a few
rogue strands of dark hair.

“How do you like the name Juliette?” She asked.

“Eli,” Loid’s voice was distant.

I kept my eyes clenched shut, fighting through the waves of
memories. Sixty four years, two hundred fourteen days and twelve hours and
eighteen minutes. The number came from somewhere within. I knew of worlds I had
never seen, space stations, children, Ju-lin toddling across the floor, a wife,
there were waves of crippling sadness, fleeting arrows of joy, and a heavy pall
of guilt and regret. I pushed them aside. Searching. I recalled stars, ships,
engines. My mind raced through my knowledge of ships, shuttles, hovers, and the
layout of a Dreadnaught.

“Elicio,” Loid called again, his voice seemed more near.

The Falcon? I questioned myself, and the thoughts came.
Platform Dynamics Falcon Mark II. Fusion engines, ten ton cargo capacity. Power
by one class seven fusion thruster, and fourteen XL9 maneuvering jets.

“Hey kid,” I felt Loid’s hand on my shoulder. “Breathe.”

“Um, yeah,” I said softly as I finally opened my eyes. “I’m
here.”

I was on my knees, Lee lay in front of me. His face was
ashen, but somehow looked restful in death, despite the blood pooling beneath
him. I still held the hilt of my blade, which was still lodged in his chest.

“Are you alright?”

“She’ll never forgive me for this,” I whispered hoarsely,
looking up at Loid.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted him to say, if anything. He just
looked back with sympathetic eyes. It was just as well. There was nothing to be
said.

I took a deep breath and pulled my knife from Lee’s chest.
The sound was sickening. I didn’t look back down as I stood up. My arm was
covered with blood up to my elbow. I wanted to wash. I wanted to cry. I wanted
a drink. I wanted the last five minutes to be erased and reset. I stared down
at his body, feeling empty. He had taken me in, given me a chance, put faith in
me. Faith right up until the end, he had faith.

“Did it work?” Loid asked as he looked at me hesitantly.

I nodded.

“They will have engaged the Collegiate by now.”

I looked around and saw my scabbard lay a few feet away where
it had fallen from Lee’s hand as he died. I stepped over, took it, wiped my blade
on my pants, and sheathed it.

When I was done, Loid wordlessly turned and headed to the
hangar door. When he got there, he stopped and waited for me. I heard Chen say
something as he moved toward the body. I didn’t look back. I couldn’t look back.

With nothing else to do, most of the colonists had left and
returned to their homes. The few that were left froze as we walked out onto the
field. Jager and Boils finished unhooking the fuel lines from
Tons-o-Fun
and stopped to stare. I had no idea what they thought. Had they heard Lee’s
final scream? Surely they saw the blood on my clothes and the knife on my belt.
I couldn’t bring myself to make eye contact with any of them.

“Eli will be taking the last Falcon up,” Loid announced
matter-of-factly.

Maybe it was the look on his face, or the smeared blood on
mine, but nobody questioned us.

“Are both ships prepped?” Loid followed up.

Jager looked from Loid, to me, and back to Loid, “Yeah, the
Falc is ready. So’s the Scotsman.”

“Why are you two still hanging around here?” Loid asked.

“Eh,” Jager shrugged. “Most of thems got families around here
to go back to. I’m on my own, aside from ugly over there.”

“Up yours,” Boils grunted jovially.

“Well, if it’s all the same to you two I could use a few
extra hands,” Loid called back. “Know your way around ship’s weapons systems?”

“I was a trained as a fleet gunner before I washed out,”
Boils answered.

“Naw, not me. But I spent a few years working power systems
on a Domari tanker, I know my way around a ship.”

“Interested?” Loid asked, nodding toward
Tons
.

“Though I’d prefer dying in a soft bed next to the warmth of
a few beautiful ladies, I don’t think that’s in the cards today,” Boils
answered. “So blaze of glory sounds like a decent second.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Loid smiled. “Get her prepped.”

He turn to me.

“Are you okay?”

I wasn’t sure how to answer. My eyes scanned across the
makeshift airfield. The rest of the colony stood in the distance, behind it the
hill with the cave where I had found myself, alone and naked a few months ago.

“Eli?”

“Yeah, I think I am,” I met his eyes for a second, but
couldn’t hold them. I glanced away and my eyes found the communication station
that Lee had been using.  I remembered him standing there fiddling with a rusty
bolt just moments ago. I glanced down and saw the blood on my hand. The sight
brought on a flash of his last memory. I saw myself holding the blade as he
pulled it in toward his chest—

I pushed the memory away, shaking my head forcefully. As I
did, I saw something else.

“The table,” without knowing why, I turned and walked over to
the coms station.

Loid followed.

I looked down at the table. Lee had taken a grid and drawn up
a map showing the world. There was a mark for the location where the Celestrial
haulers waited to come in and terraform the world. A pile of rocks representing
the debris field. Halfway between the haulers and the planet was a handful of
stones, representing the fighters and where he thought they would clash and
where the battle was currently raging. Teigan and Lee had figured that the
Collegiate pilots would be tired from the battle with the Draugari, and
possibly low on fuel, so they decided to push the battle to the debris field,
hoping to use the wrecks as cover, and to hopefully push the Collegiate pilot’s
into making mistakes.

“Come on kid,” Loid said, putting his hand on my shoulder.
“They’re outnumbered up there.”

I almost turned to leave when I saw the rusty bolt sitting on
the corner of the map.

“Wait,” I said quietly, taking in a slow breath. “He knew.”

“He knew what?”

“That we were hopelessly out numbered,” I said quietly.

“Yes, well we all know that,” Loid countered.

“Yeah, but the debris field,” I continued. “He didn’t just
want to push the fight there to give Teigan’s pilots the tactical advantage.
Moving the fighters out
here
to the debris opens up a clear path
here
,
between the planet and the Collegiate’s haulers.”

“Yes, but what’s the-”

I pointed to the bolt, resting idly between the planet and
the haulers.

Loid paused.

“That’s supposed to be
Tons?
”

I nodded, “His plan was for us to go after the haulers.”

“Well now, that is an interesting idea.”

“How many ships were left up there protecting the haulers?” I
asked.

“He wasn’t sure, some, but not many,” Loid answered. “The
Collegiate will send the bulk of their force to take care of our defenses.
Okay, so if Lee had this planned, why didn’t he tell Teigan?”

“Alume,” I answered. “The guy who’s running the Collegiate.
He’s up there somewhere, and he’s clever. He’ll be tapping all of our coms. Lee
didn’t tell Teigan his plan because the pilots may say something on air and
ruin any surprise we may have.”

“Compartmentalized,” Loid replied. “He thinks like a
Protectorate Fleet officer alright. He even used his daughter as a pawn. Crafty
though, I give him that.”

“There wasn’t any other option,” I snapped back defensively.

“Maybe not,” Loid answered. “Just promise me you won’t go all
fleet on me, I was just beginning to like you.”

“Yeah, well we’re probably about to die anyway,” I forced a smile.

“Probably,” he answered. “If you’re right about Alume, we
should maintain radio silence on the way up, it may buy us some time.”

“Agreed,” I answered.

I took one more glance over Lee’s map, exhaled, and turned
back toward my ship.

“I’ll try to save some for you,” I called over my shoulder as
we separated. The words were thick with bravado and swagger, and slipped out
before I knew I had said them. It wasn’t something I would have ever said
before. I thought back to Filian’s memory, of how she killed the slaver and
absorbed his memories in a moment without hesitation. It had been so easy for
her. I wondered if it would ever get easier for me. I looked down again at
Lee’s blood on my hand. I didn’t want to know.

Initiate guidance computers. Bypass pre-flight navigational
thruster. Align the convergence point for the three laser cannons. Verify
payload for the two under-wing missile launchers.  The process came as
naturally to me as breathing. I let Lee’s habits, which had now become my own
instincts, take over. I took one last glance out over the field. Dust was
starting to rise as Loid eased
Tons-o-Fun
up off the ground. There was a
soft beep and the board turned green.

I took a deep breath and reached for the stick, easing up the
thrusters. Thirty-two tons of guns and steel lurched and lifted lightly into
the air. Maneuvering thrusters were firing within norms. Satisfied, I punched
the main thrusters, following Loid’s conn trail upward.

It is difficult to describe the blending of nostalgia and
newness that I experienced in those first thirty seconds of flying. I was equal
parts confident and terrified.  I found that my mind knew every inch of the
ship, and though the knowledge gave me a sense of mastery, I couldn’t help but
feel overwhelmed by my doubt, guilt, and uncertainty. Chasing on the heels of
the wave of doubt was something else that was new to me, a devotional sense of
responsibility. Something far more powerful than my own personal need or want.

An alarm sounded as I broke through the atmosphere. The radar
lit up as I looked out into space to see the battle raging ahead in the debris
field. The first thing I did was count the signals. To my relief, all eleven
Falcons were still flying. Ju-lin was still out there. It was only then that I
reached over and turned on my coms to listen.

“Three more incoming low, watch it Pinkie,” a voice broke
over my headset.

“I see them, breaking right, cover me.”

“Roger that. Holy hell did you see that?!”

“Dammit watch your cross-fire Kit! You almost toasted me.”

“Get this thing off of me!” it was Ju-lin.

“Break right, on my mark, two, one, mark.”

I saw a flash of light in the distance as the fighter
disintegrated.

“Thanks.”

“Watch two more ahead!”

“I can’t see shit in this swarm.”

“Lucky, hold it off, stay with me!”

“I’m trying!”