Starlight in Her Eyes (8 page)

After meeting his gaze for a few seconds, Serena looked away. “We'll talk soon, Colin, but now isn't the time. I need to get back to work.”

Although he fully expected tears, there were none.

Reaching for her hand, Colin grasped it and held on tight. “Let me in, Serena. Please share it with me. I want to help you, if you'll allow me.”

She hesitated, but only for a moment. “That means more than you can know.” Releasing his hand, she briefly rested her palm on the side of his face, her expression brimming with deep emotion. When she walked away, Colin let her go. Serena reached her office, slipped out of view, and quietly closed the door.

Lord, help her. And help me to help her, if it's in Your will.

6

Tuesday Night

“Mommy, we're picking out our Christmas tree after supper, right?”

Exhausted as she was after a challenging day at work, when Serena looked into the eyes of her six-year-old, no way on earth could she refuse Lily's request. “I promised, so yes. Finish your carrots and then we'll bundle up and head out in search of the perfect Christmas tree.” She smiled when Lily sat up straighter and attacked her carrots with renewed energy.

“A big tree this year, right?” Her curls were especially wild tonight, and Lily brushed them away from her cheek.

“Not too tall or I won't be able to manage the tree by myself,” Serena said. “We'll see what we can find.”

For some unknown reason, Lily seemed to equate a taller tree as being better.

The way Serena saw it, a taller tree would only be more challenging to tie onto the roof of the car, difficult to decorate, and be more of a pain in general.

Old Mr. Winters had set up his pre-cut tree farm on a nearby corner, same as he'd done for the past thirty years—or so the sign proclaimed—and she'd noticed some lovely trees as she'd driven by on the way home. Hopefully, Mr. Winters had hired a few strong teenage boys again this year.

Once she and Lily returned from the tree lot, she'd worry about getting the tree into the townhome. So many considerations. If she stopped to analyze the pros and cons, they'd be picking up an artificial tree in a box. If that happened, Lily wouldn't be the only one disappointed.

Serena's brief conversation with Colin in the coffee shop about being a Christian had prompted her to be more conscientious about her prayer life. If she claimed to be a believer, she needed to model Christ-like behavior. As a start, she'd reached for Lily's hand and prayed with her over their dinner. True to her daughter's character, she'd wholeheartedly embraced the idea.

With the innocence and honesty of a child, Lily said a short and simple prayer with the full assurance of knowing that Jesus heard her prayer.

Somewhere along the journey of life, Serena had lost that confidence and needed to reclaim the Lord's promises for her own life.

“I wish my daddy was here. He'd be able to help.” Stabbing the last of the carrots on her fork, Lily shoved them into her mouth.

Whenever her daughter mentioned Graham, at least it was more in terms of wishful thinking instead of sadness and the occasional brief bout of tears.

“I'm sure he would if he could.” After nearly ten years of marriage, Serena had learned not to expect much from Graham in terms of being a devoted husband, but without fail, he'd been a dedicated father. When he was home, he'd always tucked his daughter in bed, and Serena had often heard him reading to her or telling her stories.

Thank you, Lord, that Graham shared his tender side with Lily.

Their child had inherited her blue eyes, but Lily's dark curls and fearless spirit were from Graham. In her earlier years, Serena had considered herself independent, and Lily was decidedly that.
Decidedly.
She'd never thought twice about that word until Colin entered her life.

She startled when Lily giggled. “What's funny?”

“Evie told me I could borrow her daddy sometime,” Lily said. “His name is Bruce, and he's really big and tall. Almost like a giant. Evie's mom calls him Bruce Spruce, like the tree. Isn't that funny?”

She giggled again and Serena couldn't help but smile.

“Mommy, can we call him to come help us with the Christmas tree?”

If only it were that simple. “We'll figure out something. Go brush your teeth and then get into your coat. Be sure and put on your hat and gloves. It's colder now that the sun has gone down, and you need to stay warm.” The boots went without saying, and Lily was used to the routine. Serena almost didn't want to take her out in the cold since she'd been sick only a few days ago, but a promise was a promise. Keeping promises was most important where her daughter was concerned.

After Lily dashed out of the kitchen, Serena cleared the table of their dinner plates. She rinsed their dishes and stacked them in the dishwasher.

A few snowflakes continued their airy dance outside the window but no further accumulation was expected tonight. Neither was the temperature expected to dip below freezing. The snow totals had already piled up for the season, and the early forecasts for the New Year promised it would be a long and bitter winter.

Serena shivered at the thought.

As she worked to clean the table and kitchen counter, Serena's mind swirled. With Graham gone, there had been no real reason to stay in Philadelphia. Lily was still young enough that Serena wouldn't feel like a terrible parent if she uprooted and moved them elsewhere. But where? She didn't particularly want to move back home to Virginia. She loved her parents, but she also liked a bit of distance between them which made their visits more special.

She started the light cycle on the dishwasher and headed into the living room to retrieve her outerwear. Had she kept her job at the television station as a way to try to hold onto Graham's memory? No, that wasn't it. She viewed it more as a way to maintain a sense of normalcy and stability for both of them, especially for Lily.

A number of her friends had called lately, asking her to meet them for dinner. She hadn't been a very good friend, but she also knew they understood.

Since Graham's passing, Serena had kept mostly to herself. Her life had fallen into a practiced routine of going through the motions, participating in life yet also oddly detached. Her position at the television station had served as an anchor, of sorts, and she could lose herself in the daily details of
Wake Up, Philadelphia!
She'd never been one to make resolutions, but after the New Year, she'd make a concerted effort to return calls and make arrangements to reconnect with friends.

As Serena pulled out her down jacket and snow boots from the front hall closet, another vision of Colin popped into her mind. The tall, handsome Brit was never far from her thoughts. In fact, he'd become a welcome diversion from her worries, and envisioning him always made her smile.

Earlier that day, they'd worked two back-to-back, one-hour shifts together in the station's lobby, gathering and tagging items for the annual holiday toy drive.

As he'd worked beside her, Colin had chatted with and gotten to know more of the staffers for their show and the news programs. He seemed to genuinely care about others by asking them questions about themselves and their jobs.

As she'd watched him, Serena admired his ability to make friends easily, something with which she'd always struggled.

Serena suspected Colin had made one of the sizable monetary donations that mysteriously appeared in their collection bin. How had it gotten there when she'd been standing beside it the entire time? The only times she'd turned away had been to say a few words to her co-workers. She'd pulled out the cashier's check—astounded by the number of zeroes—and shown it to Colin with a quirked brow. “Do you know where this check came from?” Nothing was written in the memo line of the check to give her a clue.

In response, Colin's wink was sly and mischievous. “Why, an elf pranced across the lobby and dropped that check right in there, he did.” He angled his blond head toward the donation bin. “Jolly little fellow. And he specifically told me that the gorgeous woman with the chestnut-colored hair should ask no questions.”

Silly man, but he possessed such a good, pure heart. A number of children in the Philadelphia area would benefit from Colin's generosity during this Christmas season. He'd also asked her about the holiday bonuses paid to the cleaning staff and she was aware—although she'd never tell Colin—that an anonymous donation had been made and earmarked for Toni, the woman from the housekeeping staff who regularly cleaned his office.

Sitting on the sofa to pull on her snow boots, Serena frowned as she recalled Paulina's comments in the coffee shop.

Women like Paulina—professional, aggressive, and not ashamed to openly flirt with a man in the presence of another woman—drove her crazy.

She had no reason to judge Paulina although her blatant flirting with Colin upset Serena more than she'd liked. That incident had called upon a dose of the somewhat limited Christian compassion she felt for the news anchor whose office was only a few floors above hers and Colin's. What an unsettling thought. She'd witnessed such behavior from different women on multiple occasions when she'd been with Graham. Where did it end? Would Colin continue to resist such attention or would he succumb to the temptations?

Give your burdens over to the One who can handle them much better than you.

“Thank You, Jesus, for not giving up on me,” Serena said under her breath as she called to Lily and tugged on her gloves. After wrapping her red, knit scarf around her neck, she put on her ear muffs. Philly snow was often wet and heavy, so it never hurt to be prepared. She'd rather be too warm than chilled to the bone even though tonight was milder.

A short time later, arriving at the tree farm, Lily darted out of the car and zigzagged through the snow as she examined every tree.

Watching her with an amused smile, Serena bought a cup of hot cocoa from the local neighborhood kids—the same ones who set up the lemonade stands every summer—and requested extra marshmallows and chocolate drizzle. She needed to live dangerously every now and then. She'd called to Lily to join her, but she was much more interested in her current task.

Serena relished the warmth of the hot chocolate as the liquid slid down her throat in all its rich glory. The scent of cocoa filled her senses. What a treat.

Christmas carols played over loudspeakers and white lights winked from swaying lines strung up around the perimeter of the tree farm.

If she didn't watch it, she might just catch the Christmas spirit sooner than later this year. That thought made Serena smile as she took another sip of her hot chocolate.

“Mommy!” Lily jumped up and down and motioned to her from the top of a small incline. “I think I've found the one.”

Interesting choice of words. Colin popped into Serena's mind yet again, filling her with warmth, but she dismissed it. Her daughter was waiting. “Coming!” Tossing her empty cup in the nearby trash can, Serena headed her way.

A half hour later, Serena pulled into the parking space outside her townhome. Climbing out of the car after her rambunctious daughter, she prayed under her breath. “Lord, how am I going to get this tree into the townhome without straining my back or anything else?”

“I can't wait to decorate our tree! I'll go get the ornaments.”

As soon as Serena unlocked the front door, Lily raced past her and up the stairs. After removing her outerwear, Serena glanced at the clock. Not bedtime yet. Maybe she could somehow put Lily off until tomorrow night.

Hadn't they had enough excitement for one evening?

The tree would be all right for one night if she left it on top of the car, wouldn't it? Maybe not. What did she know of these things? Serena eyed the sofa but no way could she sit down for even a few precious minutes or she'd fall fast asleep.

Within two minutes, Lily bounded back down the stairs minus her outerwear and boots. Depositing the green plastic ornament box near the fireplace, she gave Serena a triumphant grin.

“Did you hang up your coat and wet things, young lady?”

With a small protest, Lily darted off again. That request would only buy Serena another minute. Her child's energy was something to be envied. If only she could absorb some of it herself.

Sure enough, Lily was back in no time. “All done, Mommy.”

“Thanks,” Serena said. “Now I need to find someone who can help unload the tree from the top of our car. There's no way I can manage it all by myself.” A little advance planning would have been good. Not knowing what else to do, Serena pondered her options.

Feeling all kinds of silly, and after more prompting from Lily, she broke down and called Evie's mom. Turned out Bruce Spruce—she'd almost slipped and said the nickname while on the phone—was out of town on business for the rest of the week.

Her neighbors to her left were two elderly spinster sisters and the townhome to her right was vacant after the nice young couple had moved to Cleveland to be closer to their families.

Her home church was nearly thirty minutes away, so that wasn't a possibility at the last minute. She really should try to find a congregation closer to home for reasons that had nothing to do with her current predicament.

After Graham's death, she'd sold the large house in the suburbs and moved into her modest townhome. If she'd continued to live in the “big house,” as she'd called it, the constant reminders of everything her marriage had, and hadn't, been, would have smacked her in the face at every turn. The mansion with its three-car garage, guest house, two kitchens, eight bathrooms, and more bedrooms than she could count had been Graham's dream, not hers. He'd grown up with privilege.

While she'd been blessed with a comfortable, upper middle-class upbringing, she'd never become accustomed to having a staff to do her bidding, preferring to be self-reliant and autonomous.