Stare Me Down (Stare Down) (9 page)

“Whoa, that’s skin.” He tried to get her attention before she drew blood. It was no use, though. She was too busy pulling at him. “If you—”

Before he could get the rest of those words out, she latched onto his mouth. If he had to describe what she was doing to he’d say devouring it. Then after a moment he wasn’t thinking at all.

Crisp lemon and hot ginger assaulted his senses. Warm silk and delicate satin wrapped around him. Her desire poured over him. The frantic pulls, desperate tugs and sweetly surrendered hug tempted him like he’d never been tempted before. Her fingers sank into his hair while she massaged his scalp. And when that didn’t seem good enough for her, she shifted and pressed into him tight, while her mouth sliced over his again and again. At one point he was afraid she might swallow his tongue. Damn, she was aggressive. Needy. Fucking spectacular as she ate on him.

He didn’t even wince when she repositioned. Now her hands were braced against his chest, fingernails digging into his pecs as she shimmied all over him. That sexy little dance got him even harder, and that occurrence clearly had her curious. She flexed and felt the hardness with her hip. He could tell because she pressed against him twice before she angled a hand down to frantically find the outline of him with her palm. When she did, she closed her hand around him at the base and traveled in a series of graduating touchy-feely squeezes along his length. One, squeeze, two squeezes‌—‌she hesitated‌—‌three squeezes and when she went farther and reached the end of him, her whole body stiffened before she tore her lips from his, whispering, “I want to feel it again. Please.”

At first he thought she was talking about the length of his cock, but then her meaning registered. “You want to get off again?”

“Yes.”

That groaned-out word almost got him coming. “Spread your legs around me.” He hauled her up higher until her knees bent against his hips. His hand had barely gotten beneath the hem of her skirt when she smacked his shoulder.

“Oh. It’s not working.”

“Not working?”

“Don’t do it like that. Do it like…”

He didn’t mean to. It was instinct when he speared a hand in her hair and sharply pulled back to gain her attention. No woman in his arms ever made demands or directed him to do things differently. “What?”

“Mmm,” she purred, and he realized she’d gone languid with the hold he had on her. “Yeah, like that.”

He tightened his grasp and sucked in air when he saw it. That fucking sexy tremble. He looked at his white knuckles buried in her hair, and adrenaline bolted through him. One last test to make sure he was right about this. He lifted, straightening his arm, which forced more painful tension on her skull.

She closed her eyes and moaned in such a way it left not a doubt in his mind. The attraction was real. She wasn’t a vanilla doll. She was his kind of chick.

He drank in every line of her face. Noticed every subtle nuance as she purred for more and that was bad news for him because he really couldn’t resist.

She moaned again. Oh yeah, she liked it.

Another moan.

Screw just liking it. She loved this kind of attention. No wonder she hadn’t screamed bloody murder when he’d ambushed her earlier. “Jaxx.”

Trill.

Her eyes popped open and she blinked. As the haze lifted, he read the dawning panic loud and clear. If he didn’t let go of her, she’d probably scalp herself running away.

“The bell. The door. I mean, there’s a delivery.” She leaned and snatched up her glasses, shoving them on. Only she braced her elbows into his solar plexus to do it and the action caused him to grunt.

“Sorry about that.” She had her Woody Allens back on and awkwardly pushed off him in a half-roll stumble move.

By the time he stood and readjusted himself, she had her back turned toward him, and that’s when he noticed her hair. Long. It was really long. Down to the center of her back. She’d had it clipped up before he’d dug his hand into it, so even then it was hard to gauge, but now it wasn’t. It was thick and wavy. Threaded with gold, copper and silvery blonde highlights. Beautiful. He willed her to turn around so he could see those cornflower blue eyes framed by all that rich, unobstructed brilliance. Jesus, he bet she’d be stunning.

“Jaxx?”

“It’s—” she cleared her throat but didn’t move, “—Doctor Gavin and our, um, time is done.”

“Don’t be shy. Turn around and talk to me.”

“Why, so you can tell me what an awful therapist I am?”

“Jaxx.”

She shook her head, and the action sent those ribbons of silk swaying. It was hypnotizing.

He waited for the swinging to stop. “I realize you’re upset.”

She shook her head.

“You’re not upset? Mad, then?”

She nodded.

He tilted his head. “At me?”

She shook her head again and reached out to peel a bit of leftover tape from the door.

“At yourself?”

She nodded, and he grinned. He loved a woman who took responsibility for her actions. But what action was she mad at? Caving into him when he had her hooked, or diving on him the first chance she got? Didn’t she know she had no choice? He’d stacked the cards in his favor and played them. Now he felt bad.

He went to her. “Honey,” he whispered, grasping her by the shoulders. His plan was to make her turn around so they could talk and he could explain, but then she sank back against him and he forgot all about the plan. The action was so reminiscent of his dream, he nearly stepped back.

“Please. Please don’t call me that.”

“Why?”

“Because it makes me want to ask you to stay, when what I’m going to do is tell you to go. It’s best if you leave before we have a complicated mess on our hands.”

He had nothing to say to this because she was right. This, whatever it was between them, was a complication he didn’t need in his life right now. And judging by her firm resolve to not turn and face him, she felt the same way. Shouldn’t he be experiencing a sense of relief that she wasn’t looking for more from him? Shit. It was precisely because she wasn’t that he was bothered.

“Yeah, I’d better go.”

She nodded and leaned away from him, and illogical though it was, he had the desire to pull her back against him. To continue where they’d left off. The need to do that burned like a bitch, so he was glad that she hadn’t turned around. It was safer for both of them this way. He was beginning to think that dream had been a warning not to mess with her, and what had he done?

The bell rang again and he noticed her shoulders slump. The fury he felt over this surprised him. It also made him realize he couldn’t leave without saying his peace. “That’s not a delivery. It’s Carmichael sending you a message, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Her voice was barely a whisper. “She’s probably wondering why you’re still here.”

He thought about all the phone calls during sessions and now the ringing bell and scowled. “Before I go, promise me one thing.”

“What?”

Her shaky tone made him feel like absolute shit. “Promise me you’ll deal with The Dragon Lady sooner than later.”

Silence.

“Please.”

“I-I will.”

“Goodbye Jaxx.”

Jaxx nearly wilted when he was gone. Taking a deep breath, she calmed her racing heart. What the hell was she doing? No, what had she done? Some therapist she was. She bent and pulled the shoe out from under the door throwing it inside the closet harder than she intended. It bounced off the interior wall then came back and hit her in the shin.

“Ow!” Without hesitation, she kicked the runner in and slammed the door with a resounding bang.

“Bad session?”

Spinning around, she scowled at Maggie, who had just come into her office. “The worst.” She wasn’t going to sugarcoat things. She’d meant her promise to Ramsey. It was high time she dealt with her friend. “After more than a month of doing as you suggested and denying my attraction to him, I folded. Gave in. Gave up.” She nodded. “And I’m pretty sure I broke a couple of personal tenets and even if I didn’t, I’d definitely lose your respect if you knew what I did on that desk.”

Maggie stopped short and stiffened. “Did you have sexual relations with Mr. Taylor on it?”

She reminded Jaxx of a slightly younger Diane Keaton. She had the same kind of hair and always wore a turtleneck, regardless of the time of year. “Well, no, but I almost did, so I think that counts.”

Maggie inclined her head and walked in that elegant way of hers. The royal glide that Jaxx envied. When she got to the upholstered rocker, she eased into it. Slow and measured movements. “Tell me everything. And for Pete’s sake, fix your hair. No one is going to take you seriously when you look like a gypsy.”

Jaxx shucked off her shoes and bent under the desk to grab her slippers. When she stood with them in hand, she used one as a pointer and said, “I’ll tell you one thing. I’m never going to see that guy again. No way. It’s completely insane. Even now I’m aching in parts of my body that are‌—‌it’s not good or decent to be feeling tingles… So when he comes back here, you’re going to have to handle him.”

“How do you know he’ll be back?”

She plunked a hand down on his trunk. “He’ll be back for this.”

“All right. Then it will be my pleasure to see that he gets it. So tell me what happened.”

“I’m not sure.” She dropped her slippers in front of her and wiggled her right foot into one. “One moment we were swapping Rorschach tests, and the next I was stretched out against the open closet door, and he was…”

“Yes?”

She got her second slipper on and scowled. “The guy’s fast and clever. I, um, you know, and then when he un-taped me—”

“Un-taped?” Maggie sat up straight

“Yes, it’s a long story. But all you need to know right now is that I screwed up. That little voice in my head? You know the one. Well, it was very convincing this time and you know how hard I’ve been working to silence that chatter.”

Maggie nodded and frowned.

“Not to worry, though. I think it’s safe to say I ripped out its tongue before I almost ripped out his with my teeth. Oh, God.” She thought about her hand traveling along his length and what she’d said to him, and fell into her desk chair with a wail. “I made a huge fool of myself.”

“How?”

“I lost control. I lost my head. Worse? I’d do it all over again if I could.”

“With the sex club owner? I knew this was going to happen. I told you not to do the one-on-one sessions. Jaxx.” Jaxx heard her disappointment loud and clear.

“The man is‌—‌he’s…‌too hard to describe.”

“In my day, we used to call a guy who looked like him a heartthrob.”

“Oh, God, don’t remind me of his looks.”

“So, it’s his tall, muscular frame that’s attracted you?”

“Ugh, don’t add more fuel to the fire I’ve already got going on over him. I was trying to forget about his to-die-for body.”

Maggie sat forward. “If it isn’t his looks or his body that you’re attracted to, what then?”

“His brain.”

“Oh, dear.”

“Exactly. He’s got a fabulous mind. I can only imagine…”

“Yes?”

“You already know I’ve been fantasizing about him since after our first session. And now that he’s no longer my patient? I want him.” She felt the burn of her blush all the way from her forehead to her breasts and cringed.

Maggie scowled and looked away.

“More than anything. Anything else.” Jaxx hoped Maggie would understand what she was saying. Admitting.

“Oh.” Then her friend did a double-take. “Oh, no.”

Despite how nervous Jaxx was about tackling the issue, she knew it was now or never. Aries was right about her needing to standup to Maggie. And, the more she thought about this, she came to see intentional or not, he’d given her the perfect excuse to open a dialogue. “I’m sorry, Maggie. I’ve made a mess of things, haven’t I? The hard work and all your planning? Ruined. I can’t—”

“Now don’t get ahead of things. And don’t be too hard on yourself. Gunther’s not here yet, so not to worry.” Maggie reached out and patted her hand.

“There’s something else.”

Maggie drew back. “What?”

No sugar-coating it, Jaxx
. “Things were very intimate between us.”

Maggie’s eyes narrowed. “How intimate?”

“Very.”

“Jaxx.”

“I had—” she braced herself for the fallout, “—an orgasm with Ramsey Taylor.”

Maggie didn’t blink. “Are you sure?”

What kind of question was that? “Of course, and now that I know I don’t have a problem that way? Well, it changes everything. You see that, don’t you?”

Maggie held up her hand. “Wait. Before you commit to making a decision based on one little—”

“It wasn’t little.”

“On one encounter, I urge you to think about this. While the sex therapist in me is glad that you’ve had an epiphany of some sort, the woman in me wonders whether this little miracle had anything to do with Mr. Taylor at all. Maybe your subconscious forced it to happen so you wouldn’t feel guilty if you didn’t like Gunther. You’ve been stressing about his arrival for months now.”

Leave it to Maggie to save the day. “Well, do you blame me? You’ve been talking me up to that guy. He probably thinks I’m Sofía Vergara’s twin. I can’t compete with that.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. We just need to get you settled, is all.” More to herself than to Jaxx, she said, “Quickly, by the sound of things.”

This is what Maggie always fell back on. Jaxx settling. And she knew why. Maggie held the belief that children were a product of their upbringing and as such she was determined to make things right. In Maggie’s mind, Jaxx had grown up with her adopted family, learning and taking on some of their behaviors. Mostly from her father, why else would she be attracted to the wrong kind of men? And, since Maggie had known her birth mother she was set on Jaxx being more sensible like her, and less head-strong and foolish, like the people who wound up raising her. When Jaxx thought about what she’d just done with Ramsey? She was almost ready to concede that in this instance maybe Maggie was right.

But then she thought about the last time she did that and scowled. Letting Maggie push her into being with the “right kind of guy” had been disastrous. Yeah, agreeing to settle had cost her all right. Two years wasted on mundane and boring and how had that eventually ended? She winced at the recall and then said, “I appreciate you trying to help me out, but I don’t think I’m that desperate, that I need to dangle the prospect of obtaining a green card in front of guy just to get him to like me.”