Stardust (The Starlight Trilogy #3) (25 page)

“Do you know what John said to me?” Kazan chuckled. “Keep in mind, this is after I gave him a diplomatic response to his problems. He told me I had to get back to myself, that my main goal should be to find myself again. He said I’d changed a lot since entering the entertainment industry and become the worst thing of all—a nice guy! I was so busy getting people to like me and approve of me that I’d lost myself, who I was, what I wanted to be, my true identity. I’d become careless with my desires and wishes and positions. I’d become so used to sacrificing them, I no longer knew it was happening.

“Then he got to my nickname.” Kazan’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “That goddamn name is not you, he said. That’s not what you’re like. You’re not a handy, friendly, adaptable little gadget! You made yourself that way to get along with people, to be accepted, to become invisible. He called it a neuter nickname, a piece of self-effacement that was useful for everyone but myself.”

The humor faded from Kazan’s face. “John’s solution was for me to find out who I was and what my place was in the world. He said it was the only creative source I had. I had to claim it for my own and not let anyone take it away.”

“I don’t understand how you got that nickname in the first place, now that I know its original meaning.” Beth’s eyebrows drew together. “I never thought of you that way at all.”

Kazan’s eyes lost focus as he slipped into contemplative silence. Oh, how precious it was, seeing this stoic man unguarded. Beth would be forever grateful that he’d initiated this discussion with her.

When he met her gaze, wisdom earned through patience, passion, and experience shone in his face. She felt closer to him in that moment than she ever had and ever would again. “Beth, I look at you and all you’ve gone through, how you stuck up for yourself and triumphed, and I think what an inspiration you are. You had your own nickname thrust upon you—Elizabeth Sutton—yet you didn’t conform to it. You owned it. You made it adapt to who you really are.

“Then there’s Aidan.” Kazan’s grin returned. “That goddamn kid brought down one of the most powerful men in the entire world—albeit, not in the best way—but still, he proved Luther wasn’t invincible and set the ball in motion for drastic changes in the industry, including a system in favor of the performers, not executives sitting in corner offices pretending they know what it’s like to film a movie. He did what I wanted to do back in ’52 when I was battling Luther over
Viva Zapata
. He stood up to him. Meanwhile, I ran off to Paris.”

“But you never let Mr. Mertz control you, Mr. Kazan. When you, me, and Mr. Stern were in his office the day I was informed I was cast in
Golden Gloves
, you put him in his place when he tried to tell you what to do.”

Kazan rubbed his jaw. “Sure. But it wasn’t always that way. Only after I got that wakeup call from Steinbeck did I take action and change my ways. After I left Paris, I arrived in L.A. with a renewed sense of what I had to do if I wanted to be respected in Hollywood. I demanded to Luther that the
Viva Zapata
script remain the way I wanted it. And damn it, it worked!

“But for so many years prior, I accepted my nickname and lived up to what others expected of me because of what Gadget meant by definition. I compromised and wasted so much time acting like a coward. I was a fool. My pupils at the Actors Studio have always regarded me as an authority figure, an instructor who knows all. However, Lee Strasberg, Harold Clurman, Cheryl Crawford—my
peers, the people
who were part of the crowd who gave me the nickname in the first place—always thought they were above me, even though we all started out in the Group Theater and had once called each other equals.”

Just the notion that Kazan would be considered anything less than a brilliant director and teacher was incomprehensible. He’d taught Beth a lot in only a few months. And Aidan…well, Aidan worshiped Kazan so much he’d strike down any man who treated him poorly.

Kazan was too modest to accept grandiose compliments, so Beth took a more subtle approach to sharing her high opinion of him. “The important thing is you learned to stand up for yourself and took conscious action to execute change. You found your own way after feeling frustrated with the industry and Mr. Mertz’s controlling ways. Meanwhile, I was forced to stand up for myself unexpectedly because I was thrust into a vile situation I never thought I would be in—one that I had to get out of even if it meant the end of my career. Our circumstances were very different. Your actions are admirable. Mine were the result of not having any other choice.”

Kazan’s eyes held hers. There was something about the way he looked at her that made her feel important, valued, and more talented than a novice actress who hadn’t yet left her teen years.

“At the age of forty-three, I accomplished what you and Aidan accomplished in your late teens and early twenties, respectively. Regardless of how you came to the realization you deserved better than the treatment you received from Luther, you made it. Even though people don’t know the real reason Aidan went after Luther, he still holds all the glory for what’s going on at the studio right now—not that he asked for it. They believe he fought for more creative freedom, which by default, resulted in him fighting for everyone in the industry. Never forget, though, you deserve credit, too. You set a great example for the other actresses who fell victim to Luther’s control. You prevailed, despite the harrowing experience you endured.”

Nathan and Connie had also prevailed over difficult circumstances and played important roles in forcing Mr. Mertz’s resignation, but it was not Beth’s place to address their private struggles with Kazan. She and Aidan had opened up to him because they respected and trusted him, thus she could appreciate her friends’ trust in her to keep their secrets.

“I’m afraid you’re giving me too much praise, sir.”

“I’m proud of you, kid, and you should be proud of yourself. You’re a force to be reckoned with, but still as sweet as ever.” Kazan placed his hand on her shoulder, his stubborn gaze softened by paternal approval. “Today is a monumental occasion, an incredible achievement—the start of the end of a project we thought would never be finished. And we’re doing it without Starlight Studios’ involvement. You and Aidan have long careers ahead of you, as long as Aidan keeps his temper in check.” He laughed and Beth did, too. “So don’t be nervous about today. You’re gonna do great.”

Beth blushed. “Thank you. Your confidence is much appreciated.”

“You know, the Actors Studio could use someone like you.” With a wink, he withdrew his hand from her shoulder. “You must audition, of course, but I don’t see why Lee wouldn’t agree with me. And if you get in, you’ll be part of a very small group of performers who’ve made the move from Hollywood to our institution instead of the other way around.”

Beth’s eyes widened. “I would love to audition. As soon as
Golden Gloves
wraps, I’ll write a scene to perform and—gosh, I’m so excited!”

“I look forward to it.” Kazan stood and offered his hand. “Let’s get that boy of yours. Shall we?”

Beth and Kazan descended the stairs to the sidewalk. Wade met them halfway to Aidan’s trailer, dressed in character and holding a magazine.

After they exchanged greetings with him, Kazan turned to Beth. “I have some stuff to sort out before we begin. You and Wade get Aidan and meet me on set in twenty minutes.”

Beth nodded.

Upon Kazan’s departure, Wade thrust the magazine in her face. “Have you seen the latest issue of
Modern Screen
?”

“No. Why?”

Beth accepted the periodical from him. On the cover were two unrelated close-up portraits of her and Aidan, which had been superimposed together to make it look like they gazed lovingly at each other and were about to kiss. Aidan was dressed in his
Spike Rollins
attire—his trademark red jacket and white T-shirt—and his green eyes had been colored to enhance their vibrancy. Beth was dressed in character for
Sparkling Meadow
, her hair secured in a ponytail, her wide brown eyes radiating innocence and submission.

The photograph was accompanied by a byline.

The girl-next-door ingénue captured the heart of the bad boy Method actor—and tamed him! Inside: How you can snag your very own rebel and experience a thrilling, everlasting love like Beth and Aidan!

“In the editorial section, there are readers’ comments from the last issue—which you two were on the cover of as well—and they’re all positive.” Wade flipped through the magazine and pointed to the page in question. “The article in this edition praises your passionate relationship and calls the two of you a match made in movie heaven—a promising new love affair that proves opposites attract off screen, too.”

Beth shook her head, but her face glowed from her broad smile. “Goodness. What will they think of next?”

“You know if the readers of
Modern Screen
think you’re a great couple, then you’ve truly made it.” Wade flashed a grin. “Oh, I almost forgot. They also printed the results of a poll where Aidan was named the actor female readers would most like to date.”

Beth giggled. “What did you do, read the entire magazine?”

Wade’s ears reddened. “I had some spare time after hair and makeup…”

“I see.” Beth’s eyes gleamed with amusement. “Well, I’m sure Aidan will be ecstatic when I tell him the news.”

“Ah, come on. You must love the attention.” Wade draped his arm over her shoulders. “Did I mention you were voted most beautiful actress this month?”

Beth shrugged. “A lot of the stuff they print is made up to sell more magazines and movie tickets. There’s no point in letting it get to your head.”

“You’re too humble for your own good, Sutton.” Wade sighed dramatically. “Anyway, I’ll leave you to get Aidan. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it more if you show up at his door alone instead of with me in tow. See ya soon.” He took off down the street.

“Wait. You forgot your magazine!” Beth waved the periodical in the air.

Wade pitched a grin over his shoulder. “You keep it. Frame it and give it to Aidan as a gift.”

Smiling, Beth ascended the stairs to her beau’s trailer and knocked twice. The door opened, and her mouth dropped. Aidan welcomed her with unruly hair, smoldering eyes, and a cocky smirk. Despite his conservative, checkered, button-down sport shirt and dark gray trousers, and his studious accessories—the script in his hand and the pencil tucked behind his ear—he looked so wild, so dangerous. But goodness, he wore it all so well.

“Hey, baby.” Aidan propped his forearm on the doorframe above his head and leaned forward. His gaze held promises of a good time, the type of good time only he could provide her.

She gulped. “Hello.”

He moved aside and extended his hand. Their fingers entwined, and he led her inside with a soft kiss on her lips.

Beth held up the magazine. “A gift from Wade.”

Aidan rolled his eyes. “What does this one say?” He tossed his script and pencil onto a nearby table and pulled her close.

Beth set down the periodical and brought her arms around his neck. “Oh, something about me taming your rebel ways.”

Aidan’s lips drifted toward hers. “Hmm, I don’t know about that.”

Beth whimpered as his tongue slipped into her mouth and his strong hands pressed to her back, bringing her body flush against his. If the
Modern Screen
cover corresponded to the first image on a storyboard, their kiss would’ve completed the sequence.

Aidan dragged his lips to her neck. “I may be a rebel…” He placed a kiss to her jaw and then her cheek. “But I’m forever a one-woman man.”

Beth gasped as he nipped at her earlobe. “Lucky woman.”

Hot, heavy breaths played with her hair. “Baby, I’m the lucky one.”

Their lips reunited.

When they were officially called to the set, Beth had to fan herself with Aidan’s script for several minutes before she was able was to leave the trailer with steady steps and a steady heart beat.

Security escorted them down the block. Once they passed the row of trailers, the spectators erupted into frenzied screams, unconcerned with the late hour or disturbing the neighbors. Beth and Aidan waved in acknowledgement, which only spurred their excitement.

They weren’t the only ones excited. Following Aidan’s accident, Beth had been so preoccupied with his well-being to think about anything else. Although she had always wanted to finish
Golden Gloves
, she didn’t realize how much acting defined her until tonight. Sharing her return in front of the camera with Aidan made the occasion all the more special.

The cast and crew broke into applause, welcoming the couple back to the set and praising Aidan for his strength and effort toward his recovery. Then Kazan brought out a cake decorated with the phrase,
Happy Belated Birthday, Golden Boy
. Beth’s eyes filled with tears as Aidan thanked everyone for their support.

Kazan cut the cake. Beth and Aidan handed out slices to the crew and the rest of the cast before claiming their own pieces. They sat in their reserved chairs along the curb, laughed with their colleagues, and smiled and waved to the crowd until their plates were clear.

In preparation for the night ahead, Kazan walked Beth and Aidan through the first scene, showing the path they would travel and where they would stop. He also set the context for their characters’ discussion and planted the seed of what was expected, but as always, left enough unsaid to allow them to cultivate everything according to what felt right while filming the scene.

As Beth and Aidan conversed with their director and the first unit camera operator, the enthusiastic screams of the spectators turned into chants that quickly gained momentum. Kazan sent additional security across the street to try to calm the crowd, but it didn’t work.

Eventually, Kazan threw his hands up in defeat. “Do you two mind greeting the fans? Just say hello or something, so they quiet down. Or else we’re going to be here well into the morning, which won’t work for the scenes we have to film.”