Starcrossed: Perigee - A paranormal romance trilogy (18 page)

"I'm sorry." I heard Aric's voice behind me, and I swung around quickly. He was standing in the hallway, his face a picture of misery.

I stood up to face him.

"You helped them," I said. He winced at the accusation as if I'd struck him physically.

He nodded slowly, his mouth opening, and then clamping into a tight line. He obviously had no excuse. What could he say? He'd been complicit in the abduction and exploitation of frightened, vulnerable humans. He'd been an integral part of the Innaki's agenda, and he'd performed his job well.

"How long have you been doing it?"

He swallowed hard, casting a wretched, guilty glance at the floor. "Too long," he said quietly.

"He didn't have a choice, Lucy," Ellen interjected.

I turned to her. "Yes, he did. Everyone has a choice..."

Aric's face blanched, and his eyes glistened with unshed tears. Lifting his palms momentarily, his arms flopped to his sides in a gesture of hopelessness. "You're right, I have no excuse. I shouldn't have done it. There's not a day goes by I don't hate myself for..."

Saul stood up. "You had no choice, Aric. You didn't know what they were really doing."

Aric looked at him with empty eyes, but said nothing.

I felt an overwhelming urge to run to him and comfort him, but I stopped myself. Doubt sat in my stomach like a lead weight. All those things he had said to me... the words of tenderness... he was designed to seduce - to 'glamour'. Were they all a sham? Oh, he'd kept the whisperer thing totally from me - any wonder he was so reluctant for me to be regressed. He didn't want me to know he had been the one to quell my rebellion - a bodyguard to the Innaki. I'd have killed them if he hadn't stopped me.

"You lied to me."

He shook his head, and looked at me imploringly. "I never lied to you Lucy - ever."

"Yes, you did - you lied by omission." His face paled again. He looked worse than the night I'd dragged him to the apartment.

"How could I tell you something like that?"

"You never wanted me to remember - that's why you were so adamant about the regression!" He couldn't deny it, and didn't try. A horrifying thought occurred to me.

"You didn't want me to see my mother either. You didn't want to meet her. She... recognized you!"

The expression on his face was tortured.

"She has seen you before hasn't she? Did you help the Innaki take her, Aric?" My fists were clenched into tight balls of tension at my side. I was shaking.

"Was it you who helped to ruin her life? Did they take my mother away because of you?"

"Lucy! That's not fair... he did what he had to do..." I threw Ellen a silencing glare.

Aric nodded his head slowly. "Yes," he said simply. He looked as though he wanted to die.

I didn't care. Backing away, I felt my mind reeling. He'd lied, he'd allowed the Innaki to hurt me, to hurt my mother, all those words of love he'd said to me were just a well-honed talent. I'd relied on him, put my trust in him, and all along he'd committed the ultimate betrayal, and he knew it.

I couldn't stand to look at him there. I backed towards the door.

"I... can't... I need to... think..."

Grief tearing through me, I raced out the door and down the stairs, not waiting for the elevator. I kept running as though I could run away from the pain which consumed me.

* * * * *

Chapter Eight

I ran until a stitch in my side forced me to slow my pace. I strode on, not caring where I was headed - my frantic footsteps reflecting the turbulent thoughts in my mind. Eventually I began to notice my surroundings. I was walking through the city business district, past towering skyscrapers with shiny glass facades, busy people scurrying on errands which seemed so pointless to me now. Caught up with the hollow tasks of living a normal human life, none of them really knew reality at all. Or maybe their world was their reality, and mine had become something else...

I continued on, weaving through the crowd, avoiding the traffic as I plowed across pedestrian intersections without stopping. Eventually I reached the edge of the business district. Emerging from the shadows thrown by the skyscrapers, I crossed a street and entered a city park. It bordered the river, and I could see the restaurant on the opposite shore where Aric and I had dined a few nights before. I ignored the lump in my throat, and kept walking. The lush green grass and leafy trees were a stark and welcoming contrast to the concrete jungle I'd just passed through. Following a cobbled path, I eventually came upon a large duck pond; five speckled brown ducks glided peacefully on its murky water. I sat down on a bench and leaned back. The ducks pecked at flotsam, maneuvering their bodies around easily, their tails ruffling in response to their companions. They lived a peaceful, undemanding existence, I thought.

Closing my eyes, I leaned back until my face was pointed at the sky. The bright sunshine shone through the translucent skin of my eyelids, and I squinted. The sound of a child's laughter made me look up. A little boy of around five was heading to the duck pond, a small homemade boat clutched in his hand. His mother called for him to wait, and he stood impatiently as she quickened her pace to catch up with him. The ducks gathered near the edge of the pond, hoping for a handout. The boy placed his boat on the water, and pushed it out.

So... 'normal', I thought. I envied their uncomplicated lives. Aric had been right - it was probably better NOT to know. The boy laughed and the mother warned him to be careful he didn't fall in. Neither of them worried about aliens, or weird psychic powers, or strange men in dark suits pursuing them. A vision of Aric's exhausted, drained face appeared in my mind.

"Everyone has a choice," I'd said to him. He'd looked thoroughly beaten and guilt ridden.

"Everyone has a choice." I repeated aloud. Was it true though? I'd spent my childhood feeling at the mercy of others as I'd drifted from home to home. If there was anyone who should understand the feeling of helplessness, in a situation in which you had no control of life, it was me. I felt like a hypocrite. There were some situations which were out of your control, and you just had to make do and hang on, do the best you can until circumstances changed.

"There's not a day goes by I don't hate myself for it..." he'd said. I remembered the anguished look on his face - he'd meant every word. And yet he had finally left the control of the Innaki, and come to me, nearly killing himself trying to get me away safely. Why? Why, had he made the break after my abduction? Was it because he cared? Could he really have meant all the loving things he'd said to me? Or, was it just what he said, instinctively?

I didn't know what was real any more.

A shout rang out from the little boy, and I looked up to see the mother grab the boy's shirt just in time to stop him from falling into the water. The boy wriggled out of her grasp and jumped up and down, pointing at the boat, which had drifted out of his reach. He started to cry as the ducks pecked at it curiously, causing it to topple over to its side. The boy lunged towards the water, and the mother caught him again. He hugged her legs and cried into her skirt.

The boat had floated into the middle of the pond. I narrowed my eyes, and concentrated on the boat. It righted itself, and moved quickly through the water towards the boy. He let go of his mom and let out a cheer, waving his hands in the air. The mother looked on in surprise, and I gave myself the luxury of a small smile.
That
was the sort of thing wyk should be used for.

The boy plucked his boat out of the water, gave it a shake, then tucked it under his arm. He ran off down the footpath, his mother following quickly to keep him in sight.

I watched them go, and leaned back against the bench again. God, how did I manage to get into this situation? Just a short while ago I too had been oblivious to all this stuff, and yet here I was, sitting in a park, using a weird kind of power I had never even known I'd possessed, to push a toy boat back to shore. I thought back on the time I had been oblivious - it seemed like eons ago - so much had happened. I thought about my friends back in Craigsville, and envied them. The most Alison would have to worry about today was her choice of outfit. I wondered whether Jenny had recovered her car. Such mundane worries... I'd give my right arm just to have to deal with mundane, normal everyday problems - I wouldn't even mind having to listen to Aunt Janet's nagging right now. My thoughts turned to Uncle Tom, and I felt a rush of guilt. I wondered how long it would be before he received my letter. I wished I could talk to him - he always made things seem, well, not so bad. Tears welled in my eyes again, and I blinked them away. I wanted to hear his voice, but I couldn't phone. I wondered if he'd sent any emails and my spirits lifted a little - I wasn't allowed to email him, but surely it'd be okay if I checked to see if he'd sent any?

Leaving the park, I crossed the road and entered the bustle of the city again. Eventually I found what I was looking for - an internet cafe. It wouldn't hurt to look, surely, and an email from Uncle Tom, or my friends, would really help sooth my loneliness right now.

I paid for thirty minutes worth of internet time and bought a cup of coffee. The computer monitors began to flicker crazily as I walked past, and I began to worry I wouldn't actually be able to get a computer to work today.

I settled on a computer at the back of the room but as soon as I touched the mouse the monitor went haywire. I swore under my breath and gave the monitor a thump. The screen grudgingly cleared and I was able to log in to my account. There were numerous emails from Uncle Tom and my friends, all pleas to contact them and let them know what was happening. I read through each email, frowning at the flickering screen, feeling more and more guilty. Instead of curing my homesickness, the emails only managed to make me feel worse. Closing the last message, I stared blankly at the screen. Aric's tortured expression appeared, unbidden in my mind. Leaning my elbows on the desk, I massaged my temples, hoping to erase the disturbing picture from my head. It was no good - I could still see the sad blue eyes, the pale face, his beautiful mouth set in an unhappy line. Could this... person, who was designed specifically for the task of false allurement, feel real love? Snapshots of Aric flicked through my mind - of him laughing as he slurped on his terrible milkshake at Josie's, his stand-off with the Innaki in the clearing by the cabin, his drained face as he fought to keep awake to shield me, his laughter as he handed me my bouquet of 'stingy' roses. It felt so real to me. How could I just throw it all away when there was a chance his love really was genuine?

I made up my mind - I'd return to the apartment. I wanted to hug him, forgive him, help him to forgive himself. With renewed energy and a sense of hope, I logged off the computer, tossed my coffee cup in the trash and made for the door.

A hand shot out from one of the patrons as I passed, grabbing my wrist. The man spun around to face me, and I gasped - it was one of the dark suited men who had chased us from Craigsville. I yanked my arm from his grip, and went to run, but his partner was standing at the exit.

"Ah, Lucy, catching up on your emails?"

I studied the guy at the door - he was standing stiffly blocking any escape. I wondered whether I could make a scene and get some help from the internet cafe patrons.

"Heard from your uncle Tom? A rancher, isn't he? I had an uncle who was a rancher. Met an awful accident. Ranching can be so dangerous."

He leaned towards me, and lowered his voice. "Shut up and cooperate, or your uncle might just meet with an... accident."

* * * * *

The room was small and stark, brightly lit, intended to provide limited distraction. Its austere finish invoked a measure of joyless intimidation. Occasionally the large fluorescent light overhead would flicker slightly, emitting a barely audible buzz, providing the only variation to the dull monotony of sitting in the room for hours with the two suited guys. I'd nicknamed them Tweedledee and Tweedledum. They sat silently on the other side of the laminated table, their faces expressionless. They hadn't said a word since they had bundled me into the black car outside the cafe, other than to inform me any sort of mental communication was useless as they would be blocking me. I'd felt the sting of a needle in my neck before I was even halfway in the car, and the last thing I remember was the sound of the car doors slamming. I'd woken up a few hours before, been taken to this room, and had sat in front of them, my mood alternating between terror, anger and despair.

"So," I quipped facetiously. "Who's up for Scrabble?" Neither of them responded. It was like sitting with a pair of store dummies. In some ways they looked as manufactured as mannequins. At first glance they might have been mistaken for twins, but they were more like clones. They were nearly identical - the only difference I could see between them was that Tweedledum had slightly longer earlobes than Tweedledee - I only noticed because I'd had so long to study them. Their skin was smooth and pore-less - taking on the characteristic of plastic. They barely moved, but when they did, their movements were stiff and deliberate, as though they weren't used to using their bodies.

I slouched back in the chair and sighed. I presumed this was part of the interrogation process - to wear me out or maybe freak me out - whichever came first. I leaned my head way back, squinting at the light, and dangled my arms over the back of my chair. "I bet you guys are a hoot at parties."

The door opened and I sat up straight. A man who looked to be in his late fifties, wearing a dark military uniform adorned with an impressive number of stars, strode to the desk. He was followed by a woman carrying a folder. I guessed she was in her forties, slim, well dressed, her fair hair pulled back severely into a bun at the nape of her neck. She walked with perfect but rather stiff posture. Tweedledee and Tweedledum stood immediately and left the room, and the newest arrivals took their seats. The woman slid the folder over to the man, and clasped her hands stiffly on the table.