Starbright (50 page)

“Aidan, I don’t know if you’re cocky or just plain stupid,” Matthew joked as the couple sat back down.

Nathan smirked. “Probably a bit of both.”

Olivia kissed her beau’s cheek. “I think it’s romantic.”

Aidan looked away from the couple, wishing he could openly show affection for Beth. To compensate, he placed his hand on her thigh under the table and exchanged amorous glances with her away from the candlelight.

As more guests stopped by to chat, he made an effort to be pleasant, but his mind stayed focused on spending time alone with her. It was, after all, the most romantic holiday of the year, and he had yet to show her true romance.

“Do you want to get out of here?” he asked during a break in the conversation.

Beth nodded and leaned over to tell Olivia.

Matthew set down his drink. “You two heading out?”

Beth gathered her purse and rose from her seat. “Yes, we are.”

“Aidan, wait a sec.” Nathan fished through his wallet and pulled out a business card. He wrote something on the back and then handed it over. “I had to change my home phone number. This is my new one.”

“Okay, thanks.” Aidan tucked the card inside his wallet and removed some bills to contribute to the tab.

Nathan shooed away his money.

“Let Luther get this one,” he said with a wink.

Aidan grinned and returned the money to his wallet. Normally, he would’ve insisted on covering his share, but Nathan’s offer was too good to pass up.

Aidan said good-bye to their friends and placed his hand to Beth’s back, guiding her away from the table. He wasn’t headed for the exit, though. He had someplace he wanted to take her before they left the restaurant.

After checking that no one was watching, Aidan brought Beth to the concealed staircase at the back of the hall. Hanging on the steel door at the top was a sign that read,
Rooftop Closed.
He wasn’t the least bit deterred, even when he discovered the door was locked.

“Baby, can I have one of your bobby pins?”

Beth removed one from her hair and gave it to him. “What if we get in trouble?”

Aidan threw a mischievous grin her way. “That’s only if we get caught.”

He fit the bobby pin inside the lock and moved it around. A few moments later, he heard a click, and the bolt disengaged. Moonlight streamed into the stairwell as he opened the door.

Beth stepped onto the vacant terrace and he followed, closing the door behind them. The half-moon in the sky and absence of wind made for an enchanting atmosphere, and the awe on Beth’s face as she took it all in was more perfect than a fairy tale.

Last spring, the rooftop was decorated lavishly and packed with guests, and Aidan had watched Beth dance with Errol Flynn, wishing he danced with her instead. Tonight, he wanted to replace that memory with a new one.

He returned the bobby pin and took her in his arms, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I hope you don’t mind stopping by here.”

Beth’s sparkling smile told him she was more than content with their detour. Thankful that they didn’t have to put on an act up here, Aidan slipped his hand into her hair and bent to kiss her deeply. She dropped her purse to the ground and gripped his shoulders, returning the kiss with wanton urgency.

Before Aidan knew it, he had her backed up against the brick balcony overlooking the street, one hand cradling the back of her head and the other cupping her breast. He moved his lips along her cheek and down her neck, journeying across soft skin kissed by moonlight, while her hand traced his erection over his pants.

Aidan dropped his head to her shoulder and flexed his hips toward her palm, relishing her touch. “Damn it, baby, you’re incredible.” His voice dropped to a seductive whisper. “I can’t wait to get you home.”

Beth stilled so abruptly that Aidan jumped back from her as if he’d been struck by lightning. He was so caught off guard by her reaction, it took him a moment to look her over and establish something was amiss.

“Aidan.” His name left her lips in a stammer.

Aidan wanted desperately to take her in his arms again, but the solemn slope of her shoulders told him to stay right where he was. “Beth, what is it?”

She looked away and didn’t answer.

Worry triumphed over his curiosity. “Did I do something wrong?”

She shook her head, keeping her eyes down. “You did nothing wrong. It’s just—”

“Just what?” Fear seized Aidan’s throat, making the words sound strangled.

“Tonight, um, were you expecting… did you assume we’d… what I’m trying to say is, do you ever think about making love to me?”

Aidan gaped at her. Was this some sort of joke?

“I just mean… well, do you still find me desirable in that way?”

Aidan measured her carefully, ensuring not to let his panic get the best of him. “What brought this on?”

Beth’s gaze drifted to the street below. “Well, you see, we always kiss and give each other orgasms, but you never bring up having sex with me. I wonder if maybe…” She bowed her head. The distance between them suddenly felt like miles.

Aidan took her face in both hands. “Beth, the only reason I haven’t brought up making love is because I’m waiting for you to tell me when you’re ready. The last thing I want is to ask you in the heat of the moment and force you to make a decision you regret afterward.”

“I’m not feeling insecure like I was in Las Vegas. I’m beyond all that. I’m just nervous. I think about us making love all the time, though. In fact…” She gulped. “I got fitted for a diaphragm at Connie’s doctor last month.”

The words were said so quickly Aidan was certain he’d misheard her. He lowered his hands from her face. “What was that?”

Beth’s cheeks turned scarlet. “Last month, I went to Connie’s doctor for birth control.”

Aidan blinked once, twice. Words failed him at the possibility of what this might mean for them.

“I’ve been trying to gather the courage to tell you.” Beth wrung her hands. “I thought what better evening to make love for the first time than on Valentine’s Day, but when you said you wanted to take me home just now, I—I realized I can’t do it. I thought about it a lot, but I’m not ready to take that step yet. I want to be ready, though. Very much so.”

Aidan gauged her with sympathetic eyes. “You don’t need to feel stressed. I told you I’d wait for you, how ever long it takes.”

“Olivia and Connie talked to me the other day about how they couldn’t wait to make love to their beaux tonight because it was the perfect way to end the most romantic evening of the year. I told them I was thinking about it as well, and they said it was about time.” Beth’s eyes gleamed at him through the darkness, occupied by unshed tears. “I’m so disappointed in myself. I also worry because I’m denying you something you’ve had in the past and—”

Aidan yanked her close and kissed her lips firmly. When he pulled back, his face was etched with tenacity. “I don’t want to hear you talk that way again, okay? I don’t need sex to be happy with you.”

Beth sniffled. “Are you sure?”

If Aidan’s heart wasn’t tethered to hers so tightly, the doubt in her voice would’ve been strong enough to shove him off the roof. He backed away and raked both hands through his hair.

“This is all my fault. I’ve been too careless with you when it comes to intimacy. Boxing rings, rooftops.” He shook his head in disgust. “You deserve better. If I wasn’t so overzealous, you wouldn’t feel so insecure about all this or what my intentions are with you.”

Beth reached for his arm. “Please, it’s not your fault. I put too much pressure on myself, that’s all.”

They fell into contemplative silence, the faint sounds from the orchestra echoing below. The notes were romantic and gay but unable to penetrate the tension between them.

Aidan slipped his hands into his pockets, his heart burdened by thoughts of Beth attending her doctor’s appointment without him because she was too embarrassed to tell him about it.

“The physician you went to…” He cleared his throat. “Did he treat you all right? You know, when he…” He fastened her with a look that showcased his anguish over not being there for her.

“He treated me very well, Aidan.” Beth sounded so young and vulnerable, but he knew she was stronger than he gave her credit for.

His somber gaze sailed across the rooftop and anchored on the moon. “I’m glad.”

“So you don’t think poorly of me for getting a diaphragm?”

Aidan’s chest hurt as he listened to her. “Look, Beth, I know women aren’t supposed to talk about these things, especially with men, but I’m not exactly a conventional guy, you know.” He sighed. “What I mean is, you can tell me anything and I promise not to judge you.”

Beth took his hand. “Thank you for being so understanding.”

Aidan kissed her softly. “I love you, little dove, and that’s never gonna change.”

Beth’s expression smoothed over into one of relief. “I love you, too.”

A fierce wind blasted across the rooftop.

Aidan placed his arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go to my place. No pressure. Just to talk if you want to. The important thing is you spending the night in my arms.”

She nodded.

Aidan picked up her purse on their way to the stairs and ushered her inside the restaurant, grudgingly removing his arm upon their arrival at the dining hall. The crowd had grown exponentially since their retreat, so they made it to the coat check without drawing much attention.

Beth placed her purse on the counter and Aidan exchanged the retrieval ticket for her coat. As he helped her into her jacket, she tossed him a smile so tantalizing his desperate need to be alone with her again replaced his lingering concern over their rooftop conversation.

As they walked to the exit, they once again kept a respectable distance from each other. Aidan gave the door attendant a tip and told the valet his assistance was unnecessary. Although it was risky, he took Beth’s hand in the parking lot.

He pulled the car keys from his pocket and opened the passenger door. Beth made no move to sit down. Her attention was riveted on the street.

“Baby, are you coming?”

When she didn’t answer, Aidan closed the door and brushed his hand to her cheek. “Beth?”

She offered him a small smile. “Aidan, you were watching me that evening as I danced with Errol Flynn. I wasn’t dreaming, right?”

“Yeah, I was watching you.” He tucked a curl behind her ear. “I was mesmerized by you as much as I am now.”

“You took off in such a hurry.” Beth frowned. “Please tell me what you were thinking that night.”

Aidan took her hand and optioned for the truth, despite his discomfort with the subject. “I took off because I thought I was no good for you.”

“And what do you think now?”

“I’m still trying to be good enough for you.”

By the grace of the moon, Aidan saw the blush rising in her cheeks.

“When you left the restaurant, I sort of… I sort of ran after you.”

Aidan’s eyes widened. “You what?”

Beth eased from his grasp and traveled across the parking lot. Aidan followed, wondering what was on her mind. She stopped walking and pointed down the street, the moonlight illuminating her pensive expression.

“I ran after you down this very block, calling your name, as you rode away on your motorcycle. In hindsight, I have no idea what I would’ve said to you had you heard me and stopped.” Her lips turned downward. “I even took off my shoes and threw them aside. Afterward, I was only able to find one of them.”

Aidan was stunned by her confession. He always figured he had been the one to pursue her.

“Nathan and Olivia ran after me. They thought I’d gone mad.” She sighed. “I suppose you think the same thing now.”

A grin stretched across Aidan’s face. “Hey, I’m the guy who followed you across the country, remember?”

“Well, at least you had both of your shoes on.” Beth tossed a bashful look his way.

Aidan chuckled.

“I remember the despair I felt when I watched you ride off, as though it happened only yesterday. And to think, I didn’t even know you then. I couldn’t imagine experiencing that now—to lose you after everything we’ve shared.”

Aidan’s heart reeled. The thought was unbearable. He slipped his arms around her and pulled her against him, recalling his own despair when he left Romanoff’s that night.

Beth peered up at him. “What we have is so magnificent I’m afraid it might be fleeting. I mean, why me? How did I ever get so lucky?”

Aidan placed a tender kiss to her forehead. “You deserve all the happiness in the world because you’re a magnificent woman. If anything, I should be the one worried, given my past. But the thing is I believe in us more than I’ve ever been believed in anything in my entire life. If it ever came down to even the
possibility
of losing you, I’d fight for us with everything I have. I love you too damn much to accept a future without you in it.”

Beth tightened her arms around him. “I want to be with you forever, Aidan.”

He took her hand and kissed it reassuringly. “Come on, let’s get outta here. I’m gonna spend the rest of the night proving my love to you and erasing any remaining doubts from your mind.”