Starbright (42 page)

“I told him where you were performing and offered no insight into your abilities whatsoever. I wanted him to see for himself because, frankly, it’s impossible to peg your style. The only way to understand it is to watch you in action. Preston told me he walked out of the theater stunned and immediately tracked me down for advice on how to handle you, how to encourage the best performance because the way you acted went against everything he’d seen in his career. All I told him was a great director shows the way. He doesn’t manipulate his actors, especially a natural like you. The next day, he put everything in motion to make you an official offer.

“You should’ve seen his face when he found out you didn’t have an agent and he had to go through you directly!” Kazan chuckled. “I also heard you gave him a shock when you laid out your terms for accepting the role. I’m proud of you for not being afraid to ask for what you wanted and sticking to your guns.”

“I always wondered how Preston found me. I had no idea it was you, Gadg, though it makes sense after all the encouragement you gave me when I asked if I should accept the part. You were so sure it was for me—that I was perfect for it.”

“My biggest regret career-wise so far is that I didn’t secure the directorial rights to
Spike Rollins
first.” Kazan grinned. “Damn it, kid, you did one hell of a job.”

Aidan was surprised by Kazan’s praise. He was usually extremely tactful with his compliments. “I seriously didn’t think you noticed me back then, Gadg. And you’re right. I wasn’t trying to be an asshole by not participating in your workshops in the beginning. I just wanted to make sure I understood the process before going up there and exposing myself in front of people I highly respected. The Actors Studio was my home. I really didn’t want to fuck up and get tossed out, you know? I would’ve been lost.”

“The thing with you, Aidan, is you never needed training on how to be an actor. Your talent is innate. It cannot be taught—it just is. Like Brando and Clift, you’re a product of yourself, not the Method, or me, or Lee. All you needed was cultivation, direction.”

Kazan looked him squarely in the eyes. “As your director on this motion picture, I will say this—avoid getting carried away on the riptide of illusion. An actor must not let himself be sucked into the existential fallacy of confusing himself with his creation. The goal is to play the role effectively while avoiding so-called theatrical cannibalism.”

“In self-creation are the roots of self-destruction,” Aidan said, quoting one of his first lessons when he began studying the Method.

Kazan nodded. “Actors who let their real lives spill over into their characters, and vice versa, face destructive consequences. That’s why, at the Actors Studio, we always stress the importance of accepting various types of roles—to avoid being consumed by a certain persona. One can play a part too well and pay a high price for it. It’s almost as if the fictional personality and the real person are anti-images, which cannot coexist. One of them must go, and for an actor like you, obsessed with his work, it’s obvious which one will disappear.”

“So what do I do?” Aidan looked at him hopefully.

“Don’t underestimate your ability to keep things in check.” Kazan pointed a finger at his chest. “Use your love for that girl as your main focus, and you’ll be able to do your character justice without a repeat of what happened on the
Spike
set. I can guarantee that. Just never forget that, in the end, it’s just a character, and onstage, you’re surrounded by decorations that are creating a rough counterfeit reality.

“It’s a tough balance between reality and fantasy—believe me, I know. But s
ome part of you must always remain free from the grip of the film, play, whatever, to control everything. At the same time, you have to surrender a good chunk of yourself to the role.
What I’m saying probably seems contradictory, but it is possible. You
can
do it.” Kazan paused. “I’m assuming Beth knows about… whatever’s eating at you?”

Aidan nodded.

“Then she’ll help you through it, I’m sure.”

Aidan bowed his head. “I know.”

“And if you ever feel yourself heading over that ledge, just stop the scene, and we’ll take a break. No questions asked. Got it?”

Aidan tugged at the collar of his T-shirt, his gaze falling on a cheerful Kazan family portrait hanging on the wall closest to him. “Yeah. Thanks, Gadg.”

Kazan clapped a heavy hand on his shoulder. “Atta boy.”

Aidan chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. “Fuck, I never did like heart to hearts.”

Kazan fixed him with a paternal look. “Me neither, but if it’s serious stuff, I’d rather you come to me so we can sort it out before you step onto the soundstage, you get me? I don’t know how much help I was—”

“You were. Trust me.”

Kazan nodded and led him out of the room. They said good night to Eileen, who was finishing up for the evening, and walked to the car in silence. They had done enough chatting to last a lifetime.

Aidan felt better about approaching his character now that he had voiced his concerns, even though he held back the details of why he and his father weren’t on good terms. The Chicago shoot would still be tough, but it wasn’t as if they were filming on his father’s doorstep. Ultimately, he felt he could get through it if he put his love for Beth ahead of his concerns and focused on playing his character to the best of his ability.

Kazan drove Aidan back to his Porsche, and they parted on the promise of seeing each other bright and early on Monday morning at the wardrobe fittings.

The backlot was emptier now that it was afterhours, so the drive to the commissary didn’t take Aidan long. Inside, Beth sat in the back corner with Matthew and Connie. She met his gaze across the room with a welcoming smile and a carefree toss of her hair, melting away his accumulated tension from today.

As Aidan arrived at her table, his first instinct was to give her a kiss, but in a room occupied by the Starlight Studios’ dinner crowd, it wasn’t the smartest idea. He already felt all eyes on them, and the whispers had grown increasingly louder since his entrance. He was able to rein in his desire using the knowledge he could give her a proper kiss when he dropped her off at home.

“Hello, Mr. Evans, my costar,” Beth said, mocking their unjust situation. “It’s a pleasure to see you again.”

“The feeling is mutual, Miss Sutton, my costar,” Aidan replied, unable to conceal his amusement.

“Evans, you gotta order the Loretta Young lasagna.” Matthew patted his stomach. “It’s phenomenal—even better than Connie’s.”

“Hey, watch it.” Connie swatted Matthew’s arm. He kissed her cheek amongst her laughter and playful protests.

Aidan sat beside Beth.

“Are you going to buy anything?” she asked.

“Nah, I’m not hungry.” The truth was his appetite had disappeared when he received the news about Chicago.

Beth didn’t look satisfied, but thankfully didn’t press the matter.

Matthew stood with a satiated sigh. “Connie and I have to hit the road.” He stuck out his hand to Aidan. “I’ll see you soon.”

Aidan provided him with a firm shake and then gave Connie a farewell nod. She nodded back with her typical indifference and left the commissary on her fiancé’s arm.

“How about you?” Aidan eyed Beth’s empty soup bowl. “You ready to go?”

She nodded and rose from her chair. Although he resisted the urge to help her with her coat, he did pick up her purse from the table and hand it to her.

They walked to the exit together amongst a bunch of whispers that Aidan chose to ignore. His focus was on how enthusiastically Beth spoke about her dinner conversation with Matthew and Connie. After everything she’d been through with Mr. Mertz, she was still optimistic, which made him want to fight for their relationship even more.

As they stepped outside under the starry night sky, Aidan brushed his hand against hers to show he was thinking about her. He couldn’t wait until they got back to her house, where they had no restrictions on their relationship.

It had been a tumultuous day, but he hoped the
Golden Gloves
shoot would be easier from here on out and Beth’s positive attitude would rub off on him, enabling him to return from Chicago unscathed.

On Tuesday, the first day of filming, Beth and Aidan met Olivia at the seamstresses’ building before heading to the soundstage, in order to have additional costumes tailored for
Golden Gloves
. The bulk of the fittings were completed yesterday, but some residual work remained.

Beth looked on in amusement as Aidan stood on a podium in one of the dressing rooms, fussing like a child.

“Aidan, will you stand still?” Olivia tossed Beth an exasperated look. “Is he always this restless? He’s driving me bananas!”

Aidan shrugged under the jacket Olivia was trying to fasten, examining his appearance in the mirror with a frown. “I don’t like how it feels.”

Olivia held up a sewing pin. “I swear, if you don’t stop moving, this is going in your eye. I can’t fix it when you’re being so difficult.”

Aidan smirked. “In the eye, huh? Go ahead, try it. I dare you.”

Olivia flashed a cunning smile. “I never thought I’d say it, but I’d rather work with Will Everett. He’s a walk in the park compared to you!” After shortening the cuffs with several pins, she took a step back and scanned the outfit. “All right, that should do.”

“Finally,” Aidan mumbled. He wasted no time and removed the jacket.

As he was about to toss it on the chair in the corner, Olivia jumped in front of him. “Don’t even think about it.”

Aidan carefully folded the jacket and handed it over with a dazzling grin. “Thank you, Olivia, for tailoring this for me.”

“So is that how you get away with being such a pain in the butt?” Olivia said, still smiling. “You flash those pearly whites like some rebel Valentino and people forgive you immediately?”

He chuckled. “Well, you tell me. Did it work?”

Olivia pointed her finger at him. “Don’t push it, buster.”

“I’ll take that as a yes, then.” Aidan pretended to polish his fingernails on his white T-shirt. “Yup, I still got it.”

He jumped down from the platform.

Olivia hung the jacket on a rolling wardrobe situated along one wall. “All right, Beth, you’re next.”

“Good luck, baby.” Aidan took Beth’s hand and assisted her onto the riser. “I hope she doesn’t stick you as much as she did me.”

Beth looked into the full-length mirror at the tan button-down cotton dress she wore, which was too loose around the waist. Olivia circled her, making notes on what she had to alter, while Aidan took a seat on a chair in the corner.

Olivia used several pins to fasten the back of the garment and accentuate Beth’s waist and bust line, but even with the alterations, the dress still looked conservative. The censors would protest if the outfit was too tight, short, or low in the front, which worked perfectly since her character was a traditional housewife who was living on a strict budget and not fashion savvy.

“That looks very nice on you.”

Aidan’s comment drew Beth’s gaze from the mirror.

She smiled. “Thank you.”

“Hey, I think I had a part in this also.” Olivia pouted, pretending to be insulted.

Beth giggled. “Thanks for making me look so exquisite, Liv.”

“My pleasure.” Olivia flipped the measuring tape over her shoulder. “All right, you’re done.”

Aidan’s eyes widened. “What? That’s not fair. That took two seconds. I was up there forever!”

Olivia wagged her finger at him. “That’s what you get for being so difficult. Look how much harder you made it for yourself.”

Grinning, Aidan glanced at his watch. “We’ve got fifteen minutes to get to the set.”

Beth changed out of her dress, taking extra care not to disturb the pins Olivia fastened.

“Nathan’s meeting me here in twenty minutes.” Olivia hung the garment next to Aidan’s jacket. “I’ll see you two in a little while.”

Aidan walked to the door with Beth in tow. “I’d drive you, but my Porsche only seats two people.”

Olivia locked her sewing basket. “It’s fine. I have to drop your costumes off upstairs before I head over to the set anyway. I’d only make you late.”

During the brief drive to the soundstage, Beth’s nervousness resurfaced. On Friday, Kazan told Aidan he was satisfied with her performance at the read-through. She respected his opinion greatly and hoped she wouldn’t disappoint him today or throughout filming. Then there was the issue with her boss…

Yesterday, Aidan picked her up for their first wardrobe fittings and dropped her off at home afterward without incident, which surprised her. She’d expected a studio car to show up at her door. She didn’t know if Mr. Mertz’s lack of interference meant they had triumphed in their defense or if he was secretly planning a greater retaliation. Only time would tell.

When Beth entered the soundstage with Aidan, they were greeted by crew rushing around, taking care of the final preparations for the day’s filming, while some of their cast mates conversed by the water cooler.

Kazan waved them over to an apartment set at the far end, which Beth assumed belonged to Mary and Joe. The second set looked like the inside of a drugstore. The third was a hallway with doors leading to what she guessed were supposed to be the various apartments in the walk-up their characters lived in, and the fourth set, by process of elimination, was the inside of Sal’s apartment.