Star Woman in Love (24 page)

The night before the event, you were with me in our hotel room. I read you the speech I was going to give the following day.

“It’s brilliant, Cassie...”

You didn’t seem too enthusiastic. You feared you were losing me to my work. The day after was going to be a milestone for me. Perhaps subconsciously, you didn’t want to accept it. We made love that night. No words were spoken, just primal sounds and caring gestures. We needed a refill of our man-woman batteries. I fell asleep in your arms. That’s where I found myself upon awakening. I was happy and prepared for the change of hearts I was going to kick-start later that day.

I entered the packed auditorium with a huge sense of trepidation and the strongest certainty that I was standing on the edge of massive change. The feeling wasn’t strictly my own: it belonged to the audience. It was my turn to speak. I took a deep breath and proceeded to the podium.

“Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.”

My heart recognised the elation that is the mark of unity. I paused and looked around, feeling reassured. I recognised the famous religious leaders of a number of major faiths sitting in the first row. My attention was briefly distracted by a striking young man. He looked Norwegian and couldn’t have been more than twenty years of age. He was the youngest participant but his aura was the brightest and the purest. He acknowledged my interest in him with a smile.

“Today I am here to direct you to the experience of Unity Consciousness, which Creation has made available to one and all. You don’t need any special technique to try it. Just an open heart.”

The Masters’ astral projections appeared in the auditorium. Many participants were shocked at the sight. My guides signalled that I should start. I stretched out my arms and breathed deeply. Then my body started channelling the fifth dimension so that I could extend its frequency to the members of the audience. My friends in the White Lodge helped me hold the signal long enough for those present to experience Enlightenment. It was the only way to make them truly understand what the Movement, and the Plan, stood for. An invisible grace filled the room in a wave of peace. The rapture felt by the audience made their faces relax, rejuvenate and become more beautiful. The Power of Life pumped through their veins as they saw reality from an expanded, interconnected perspective. Elation sparkled in the air. Sick people recovered their health and old people grew younger. Everyone was experiencing human existence as it was intended. They all laughed at the irresistible joy of the energy.

A few hours on, attendees were leaving. They thought I had performed a miracle. A crowd of journalists was waiting outside the conference centre. News had spread of the weird and wonderful occurrence in the hall. Its power was contagious still. The people from the press felt healthy and elated as soon as they came into contact with those who had attended my talk.

I was the last person to step out of the building. I was greeted by a multitude of cameras and microphones. Cassandra Morgante, the Magic Woman, had become a worldwide phenomenon. A number of showbiz personalities contacted me at my hotel that very evening, asking to become my students. Representatives from governments and multinationals stopped by to invite me to advise them on a number of issues. The ball was rolling and now nothing could stop the species from evolving. I closed the door of my room on them and thought about the days to come.

I had been warned of the side effects humans could  experience when they accessed Unity Consciousness without a solid sense of self-identity: they could lose their minds. Human identity is not as crystal clear as a Star Being’s. The problem is that once one reaches Enlightenment, his or her thoughts become manifest pretty soon. So it’s better to keep a clean sheet, stop all self-doubt, and put an end to hatred. In the past, I had continuously worked to wipe out the effects of your self-loathing, but I couldn’t focus my efforts on you alone anymore. I had to concentrate now, I had to counteract the dark thoughts of the entire planet. I needed all the help that I could get from Shambhala to do this.

The night that I became the world’s new prophet, you disappeared on the streets of Oslo. I guess that was the first truly unmistakable sign that highlighted the cracks in our relationship. Sadly, I didn’t notice you were missing until the following day. I was in full Unity Consciousness mode and couldn’t really tune into the man-woman, ‘opposites attract’ vibe. You came back to the hotel in the morning, stinking of alcohol and with the scent of another woman on you. I preferred to leave the room and go to meet the press who were waiting for me in the hotel lobby.

That was the end of us, and you knew it too. You sank into the bed with your coat and shoes still on, and fell asleep. You didn’t want to think about it. I had chosen humanity’s evolution over you. I had no real choice. The more power I gained, the more I would forget you, unless you started siding with the Light, which you were not yet able to do at the time. Our relationship had served as a mirror, it had caught a glimpse of my wholeness while I was still covered in my human cocoon, but now you were no longer capable of mirroring my expanded self. For a little while longer, I would catch a glimpse of ‘Cassandra the woman’ in the mirror of your attention. Soon enough, however, that mirror would shatter into tiny pieces as my frequency continued to ascend and expand. You had started to sense how horrible it would be for you, and had started distancing yourself in an act of self-preservation, although you were still capable of great affection and tenderness towards me, on occasion. It wasn’t either of our faults. That wedge between us hadn’t been driven there of our own volition: it was inflicted upon us, by powers higher than us.

Downstairs, the journalists wanted to know about the portents I had developed. I kept explaining that they were by no means special. These abilities lie dormant in each human being, and they could be taught and learned. Although I didn’t share this with the world, it was largely due to my origin and my DNA that I had evolved into my meta-human self painlessly, through an Enlightenment peak experience. I was also aided in the process by the Masters who connected to my pineal gland during my meditations, sending me high frequencies capable of transmuting the rate at which my cells vibrated. The same process would be experienced differently by human beings whose bodies were much denser, because their evolutionary background was primarily the results of physical energy used to support their survival.

In my case, as it is the case for Star-Beings, evolution should more accurately be referred to as transmutation. It was the partial result of genetic programming. It was also due to the power of thought: through connection with the quantum field, the realm of potentiality. At that level, everything is latent, and thought has the power of activating and bringing about shapes, events, experiences and relationships that match the frequency of the specific idea. The physical realm is animated by the force of consciousness, the power of thought. In actual fact, our minds are pure magnets; they have the power to manifest anything that they encounter through thought, whether it be a positive or active visualisation, or the ego’s monotonous inner chat, or the meanderings of the subconscious.

This is the reason why so many esoteric practices emphasise the power over one’s mind, through techniques such as meditation, controlled breathing, sensory stimulation and other forms of mental and physical discipline. Many humans, however, do not use their own imagination but simply respond to passive thinking, and feed their minds with concepts that are merely absorbed by default. In this way, the pineal gland becomes atrophied and capable of fulfilling only its most primordial function, that of producing serotonin, the hormone modulating wake/sleep patterns. But if the brain and body of a person are trained to function more fully and healthily, break-through Enlightenment experiences may happen.

The eyes of the world were upon me at the end of 1998. I was protected by the Plan, and for this reason everything seemed to be progressing smoothly. The most powerful nations of the Earth sent their delegations to study the extent of my abilities. Some wanted to run experiments on me, which I declined. Medical companies also wanted to do tests on me. I turned down all of their lucrative offers. My life became a whirlwind. I was always on the go. I was a vortex of Star-Light spreading across the planet like a wave.

It came at a cost. You and I were growing irrevocably apart. The more innovation I brought to human life and thinking, the more you retreated into sacrificial Christian ways. I guessed you were doing that as a reaction to the change of perspective I’d brought about, and that you stubbornly refused to embrace, even in the face of daily evidence. You maintained that one day I would simply wake up without any power, and that the strange events that were taking place around me were just the result of some odd twist of fate, some crazy coincidence.

* * * *

Dublin, October-November 1998

We had our first brutal argument on your thirty-third birthday. I didn’t expect it. I came to your studio to wake you up. We didn’t sleep together that often anymore.

“Oscar, get out of bed. It’s your birthday! And there’s a god in you waiting to be born!”

It was after noon.

“Come back in a couple of hours, Cassie...,” you said, putting your pillow on your face.

I got a bit stroppy at your reticence, so I stroked your hair not as gently as I should have.

“Come on, Ozzie, wake up...”

You bolt upright and screamed at me like a lunatic. You were angry at what you described as my big-headedness. Shocked, I closed the door to your studio and returned to the house. I let it go; I couldn’t raise my voice the way you did. But I was surprised by the amount of pent-up resentment you seemed to foster against me. I left the house and went to the Transformation Centre.

My energy was very high and the cells in my body vibrated at such a rate that my material side no longer left much physical impact. I no longer cast a shadow. On the way to Temple Bar, the people who came within a couple of metres of my body would erupt into spontaneous laughter. Being in my presence made people heal temporarily. I found it odd that strangers talked to me as if I were the new Messiah. I warned them that they should look for the saviours in themselves in order to find the true solution to their ailments. Unfortunately, people still placed their faith in something or someone external from themselves – me in this case – thus giving their power away.

You phoned me later in the afternoon, not to apologise or make up, but to tell me that Marina, your friend and agent, was in town. She was now in her early forties, and even fatter and physically more repulsive than when I had first met her in Edinburgh six years earlier. She was going to stay at our house in Dun Laoghaire over the next week. You sounded thrilled. I didn’t like the idea of her presence in our house, especially when we were going through such a rough patch. She always brought out the worse in you. She dotted on you like a mother with an idiotic child, and you reacted in kind like a spoilt brat.

The first two nights Marina was in the house, the two of you stayed up late, smoking joints and laughing your heads off like monkeys. I now found that idea of fun pathetic. On the third night of her stay, I preferred to go out for dinner with my friends from the Transformation Centre. I tended to spend a lot of my time at the Centre anyway, also to be away from you.

When I came back home late that night, I found Marina lying on the sofa with her big knickers pulled down. You were giving her oral sex. It was so disgusting I couldn’t believe my eyes. I packed my bag and left at once. You didn’t even say a word. You just stared at me with angry eyes. You truly seemed to want to place that splinter of ice in my heart. I focused on my breath so as not to cry. I was strong then. I couldn’t give in to pain. I should have recognised the signs earlier, but I hadn’t. Now it was clearly time to part.

And that’s how I left you, in the middle of the night, kneeling on the floor by the sofa, with that woman. You couldn’t have sunk any lower in my estimation. I closed the door and drew a reiki symbol on it. It would stop the energy you’d created there from ever finding me again. Even if that meant you would not be able to trace me until you’d realised the madness of your mistake. Before I walked out of the main gate, I put my left hand on my heart and whispered some words, directed at you. One day you would hear them in the temple of your soul:

“ONLY IN THE LIGHT OF YOUR TRUE SELF

WILL YOU RECOGNISE ME.

DON’T BE AFRAID TO LOOK

UNITIL YOU SEE

ME

IN THE MIRROR OF YOUR HEART.”

My sudden belly laughter surprised me. You had chosen to cheat on me with someone so much less evolved. I could see some twisted humour in it. The banter, however, was short-lived and loneliness soon descended upon me like a curtain. You had abandoned me. You had abandoned the Plan. I wouldn’t see you again until five months later.

* * * *

Shambhala watching Dublin, winter 1998

From the moment Cassie closed the door behind Oscar on that faithful night, his darkness ran unbridled for months. He had proven such a terrible disappointment to our highest expectations. Given the many years he had been training with the shamans and elders of ancient Earth traditions, we had hoped that by now he would have achieved some degree of mastery of his lower instincts. It transpired that he was too enmeshed in what some of us had feared all along: his knowledge of the fourth dimension - the spirited world to which Cassandra was bound - was based on the old ways and was too fear-laden. He was connected to the forces of the Dark Side. We had hoped that Cassandra’s prolonged presence in his life would inspire him to opt for a more enlightened approach to the meaning of miracles and evolution. We had underestimated that the hurt of his childhood would bear false witness on his interpretation of the present. Now the entire planet was in danger as a result of his weakness.