Star Wars - Episode I Journal - Anakin Skywalker (6 page)

I could hardly believe I was standing so close to royalty. It was obvious that she was powerful. You could tell by her powdery-white face, and black-and-gold royal garb. On her head was a headpiece made of large black feathers. The important men I’d just bowed to were now bowing to her!

After the Queen came three handmaidens wearing fiery-colored cloaks. Padmé was one of them.

Padmé gave me a quick smile while the Queen spoke in a hushed voice to the important-looking men who’d come to greet her. You could see that this wasn’t just a friendly welcoming party. Their faces were serious and their whispering sounded urgent.

Then the Queen and her guards and handmaidens moved off toward a waiting air shuttle.

She motioned for us to follow.

Jar Jar and I were taken to a large building. We were sent to a waiting room and told to stay put. Padmé had to go somewhere, and I watched through a doorway as Queen Amidala sat on a throne and had more meetings with important-looking men in uniforms. Their faces were very grim and there was a lot of head shaking.

Something was seriously wrong. From the bits and pieces I was able to overhear on the air shuttle, I knew that a group called the Trade Federation had surrounded the planet Naboo with huge battleships. No supplies were being allowed in or out of Naboo, and that was why the Queen’s people were suffering.

But what did that have to do with the dark warrior? That was the part I still didn’t understand. He was only one being. I decided that he might have been part of the problem, but there had to be more to it. Something even more serious was happening.

Jar Jar and I waited. I felt bad for him because he looked as lonely and lost as me. At least I had a reason for coming to Coruscant. Qui-Gon had brought me to see if I could become a Jedi. Jar Jar seemed to be here because he had no place else to go.

I asked him why he wasn’t with his people. In his strange language, Jar Jar explained he had been banished for wrecking his leader’s favorite vehicle. The rest had all happened by accident. He’d been sitting in a Naboo swamp one day enjoying a meal when he got caught in an invasion! He was saved by Qui-Gon, and had been with the Jedi Knight ever since.

A messenger arrived saying that in a little while I would be picked up by taxi and taken to the Jedi Temple. Qui-Gon’s words came back to me. I remembered that if I was accepted for Jedi training, I would be busy for a long time. I realized this might be my last chance to see Padmé. I wanted to find her.

I left the waiting room and started down a hall. Of course, I had no idea where anything was, or where I might find Padmé. So I watched for clues. Finally I found what I was looking for. A handmaiden came past me carrying a bowl of fruit. There was a chance she was taking it to the Queen’s quarters, where I hoped to find Padmé.

The handmaiden turned down several halls and then went through a door watched over by two guards. That looked promising, but I hesitated anyway. I felt nervous. I didn’t know what the guards would do when they saw me. What if this was a restricted area and I wasn’t supposed to be in the hall?

It took more courage to walk down that hall and face those guards than it did to get in my Pod and race against Sebulba. But I did it. For Padmé.

Lucky for me, the guards were friendly. I guess being nine years old has its advantages. I told them I was looking for Padmé. One of them spoke into a comlink and then told me to go through the door they were guarding.

I went into a small room. At the other end a door was open and I could see into a larger room. Another of the Queen’s handmaidens greeted me. I had seen her come off the ship with Padmé. I didn’t know her name, but she knew mine. From the smile on her face I could see that she already knew why I had come.

I was disappointed when she told me Padmé wasn’t there. I expected to leave then, but suddenly a voice called from the other room, asking who it was. The handmaiden called back that it was Anakin Skywalker, here to see Padmé.

What happened next took me by complete surprise: Queen Amidala herself came to the doorway. Remembering Qui-Gon’s instructions, I instantly bowed, then peeked up at her.

The Queen was now wearing a fancy gown and a fan-shaped crown of beads and tassels. A single red mark had been painted on each of her cheeks. She said she’d sent Padmé on an errand.

I apologized for bothering her and explained that I had been called to the Jedi Temple where I hoped to start my training. I was worried that I might not see Padmé again. I had come to say good-bye.

The Queen said she would give Padmé my message. Padmé must have told her about me because the Queen said she was sure Padmé’s heart would go with me.

I felt bad that I wouldn’t get to see Padmé. But I thanked the Queen, and left to find the cab that would take me to the Jedi Temple.

Where my future was to be decided.

Even on the vast city-planet of Coruscant, you could spot the Jedi Temple right away. Not only was it huge, its flat-topped pyramid shape was unlike any other building around it.

Once again I had to wait in a room outside a main chamber. And again it was cold. Unlike the dual star system Tatooine revolved around, Coruscant circled a single star.

As I waited in the room, I noticed something written above the door:

There is no emotion; there is peace.

There is no ignorance; there is knowledge.

There is no passion; there is serenity.

There is no death; there is the Force.

The words were stark and bare. All of a sudden I felt a little afraid.

Emotion? Up till now, pretty much all of my life had involved emotions like anger, and fear, and even hatred. How could you grow up a slave on Tatooine and
not
know those emotions?

Ignorance? I didn’t have to spend much time with learned people like Qui-Gon and Padmé to realize that I had grown up surrounded by ignorance. Slave children received no schooling or training. What we learned, we learned on our own. And even though my mother taught me everything she knew, I realize now how much I still have to learn.

Death? Even at my young age, I had seen plenty of it.

It was sunset when Qui-Gon finally came for me. He apologized for making me wait so long and explained that the Council had had several unusually serious matters to deal with that day. I didn’t ask what those matters were. Qui-Gon would have told me if he’d wanted me to know. But I had a feeling the dark warrior was one of them.

Qui-Gon led me into the Council chamber. The room was circular, its ceiling domed, its walls lined with large windows looking out upon the city. I found myself standing with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, surrounded by the twelve members of the Jedi Council. Men, women, Humans, and other beings, they were seated in a circle. But the strangest was the one who appeared to be the most important. He was as unlike a Jedi as I could have imagined.

They called him Yoda and he was no bigger than a Jawa. But unlike a Jawa, whose face is always hidden by a hood, Yoda’s almost bare, wrinkled head was uncovered. His complexion was light green. He had a broad forehead, bulging eyes, and long, pointed ears that stretched away from either side of his skull. Had I come across him on the streets of Tatooine, I probably would not have looked twice. But I admit I was surprised to find such a creature at the head of the Jedi Council.

I wish I could say that I was greeted with welcoming smiles and open arms. But the Jedi Council gave me grave looks. Only Yoda’s face revealed an open, warm expression.

In a low, gravelly voice, Yoda told me that I should relax and empty my mind. I would be asked some questions. Everyone went silent. Another important-looking Jedi, whose name was Mace Windu, picked up a small viewing screen, but I couldn’t tell what was on it.

He asked what I saw in my mind and I told him: a Republic Cruiser. A Rodian cup. A Hutt speeder…

Mace Windu nodded and turned off the viewing screen. Yoda asked me how I felt and I told him the truth. I felt cold. Then he asked me if I was afraid and I said I wasn’t.

Mace Windu asked if I was afraid to give up my life.

I suppose I hesitated there for a moment. I thought of Mom. Of how I missed her and how unhappy she’d be if I died.

Then I realized what I’d done. But it was too late. They’d seen my thoughts. They knew I missed Mom. I think it made me a little mad. They’d read my thoughts so clearly and they knew something about me that I didn’t want them to. When Yoda asked if I was afraid to lose her, I snapped and asked what that had to do with anything.

“Everything,” Yoda calmly replied. “Fear is the path to the dark side… fear leads to anger… anger leads to hate… hate leads to suffering.”

I panicked. I was failing the test! And that made me
really
mad. To come this close to my dream… I couldn’t fail. I just couldn’t! I insisted that I wasn’t afraid.

The Council members glanced at Yoda, who nodded knowingly.

“A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind,” he said slowly. “I sense much fear in you.”

I fought back the impulse to argue. Instead I knew I had to answer calmly and firmly. And without anger. I remembered what was written outside—
there is no passion; there is serenity.

“I am not afraid,” I said softly.

The faces of the other Jedi were blank. I couldn’t tell if they believed me. But Yoda said we could continue…

More questions followed. I tried my best to answer them honestly and not let my emotions get in the way.

When the questioning ended, Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan, and I left the room and waited outside. Neither of the two Jedi standing with me revealed very much. I sensed that Qui-Gon was eager and hopeful. Oddly, Obi-Wan’s feeling seemed to be the exact opposite. From him I sensed impatience, and even annoyance that he had to be there with Qui-Gon and me. I was pretty sure he didn’t like me.

Meanwhile, the Council members spoke quietly. Recalling how easily Yoda and the others had read my thoughts, I wondered if they were now sharing their own thoughts on my future. I might have been able to control my thoughts, but I couldn’t control my heart. It was pounding as hard as if I were in the final stretch of a Podrace.

Finally, we were called back into the Council chamber. Yoda and the other Jedi spoke. They said my body cells contained a high concentration of something called
midi-chlorians
and that the Force was strong with me.

Qui-Gon seemed glad. He assumed that meant they agreed with him and that I was to be trained!

But his words were met by an uncomfortable silence.

No, said Mace Windu. I would not be trained.

I couldn’t stop the tears that suddenly flooded into my eyes. I’d come all this way! They said the Force was strong in me. How could they do this?

Qui-Gon seemed stunned and asked the Jedi Council’s reason. Mace Windu explained that I was too old to begin the training.

Too
old?
I’m only nine! It sounded crazy, but then I remembered what an old spacer had once told me. He knew about the Jedi and had even flown with them into battle once long ago. I remembered now that he’d said that Jedi were almost always identified before they turned one year old.

Then Mace Windu added that the Council sensed that there was too much anger inside me.

I wanted to tell them that they were wrong. If there was anger in me I could control it. I could rise above it! But I knew I had to appear calm. I couldn’t let them know I was feeling angry.

Qui-Gon argued some more. He refused to accept the Council’s decision. I was the chosen one, he said, and they had to accept that.

The
chosen
one?

Even Obi-Wan reacted to those words, staring with surprise at Qui-Gon and then at me.

Yoda would only say that my future was clouded. They couldn’t be sure.

I didn’t understand. What did they mean by chosen one? Why did I come all this way and leave the only life I knew if I couldn’t become a Jedi?

Qui-Gon fought and fought. He said that even if the Council disagreed he would train me as his own Padawan Learner.

Obi-Wan looked shocked. His jaw dropped and for a second I thought he would challenge Qui-Gon. But then he caught himself. I may have imagined it, but for a split second I thought he narrowed his eyes at me before turning to face the Council.

From the looks on the faces of the Council members, I knew that Qui-Gon had gone too far. Yoda said it was impossible for Qui-Gon to take me as an apprentice as long as he already had one. Qui-Gon told the Council that Obi-Wan was ready.

Beside him the younger Jedi nodded and said he was ready to face the trials of becoming a Jedi Knight.

Again, the faces of the Council said that they disagreed. Yoda said he doubted that Obi-Wan was ready, even though Qui-Gon said he had taught the younger Jedi all he could.

Suddenly the discussion stopped. Mace Windu informed the Council that the decision on my future would have to wait. The Senate was voting for a new Supreme Chancellor. Queen Amidala was returning to her home on planet Naboo. This would widen the confrontation with the Trade Federation.