Star Wars - 214 - Jedi Prince 05 - Queen of the Empire (4 page)

"If we’re really going to make this official," Leia said, "we’d better buy rings for one another before we go to the altar."

Han put his arm around Leia. "Sweetheart, never accuse this Corellian of not planning ahead. I’ve already got a ring for you that you’re going to adore."

"Han, you continue to surprise me. I thought your proposal of marriage was a spur of the moment thing. You know, I thought you were being spontaneous."

"I was," Han said, nervously biting his lower lip. "But, well, remember Dustangle, the archaeologist on the planet Duro? Well, he gave me this ring, and .. . well, I’ve been sort of carrying it around with me."

Leia smiled.

They dropped the two droids off at a Droid Repair Shop, leaving them for dent bodywork, scratch removal, and circuit adjustment. Han and Leia’s next stop was the shopping mall near the Asteroid Theater, with its marquee announcing a spectacular magic performance by Bithabus the Mystifier. To Leia’s disappointment, the sign read: SOLD OUT FOR SIX MONTHS. Leia led Han to a gem and jewelry store, where she began the overwhelming process of choosing Han’s wedding ring. Han tried not to look. He stood with his back to the counter, studying a map of Hologram Fun World that was hanging on the wall.

"Princess, look at this!" Han exclaimed. "I can’t believe it. I guess it’s official-Lando’s back in business!" He pointed to a portrait of their friend. Beneath the picture it read: LANDO CALRISSIAN, BARON ADMINISTRATOR OF HOLOGRAM FUN WORLD.

"Lando certainly bounced back quickly after losing his Cloud City governorship to Zorba the Hutt."

Han went to contact Lando on the comlink communication device. Meanwhile, Leia continued to look over the wedding bands. One ring in particular seemed to leap out of the display case and dazzle Leia’s eyes. It was a gold band with four evenly spaced gems: a ruby, a sapphire, an emerald, and an amethyst. Leia spent all of her spare credits to buy Han the ring. To Leia’s dismay, Han returned just as the salesman took the ring out of the display case and was about to put it into a small jewelry box.

"Good choice, Princess," Han said, getting a glimpse of the ring and its four colorful stones. "It’s a beauty."

"Han, you sneak!" Leia said. "I didn’t want you to see it until I gave it to you!"

"Sorry," Han replied. "I didn’t know I’d be able to reach Lando on the comlink So quickly." Han and Leia left the gem and jewelry store and went to check up on Artoo-Detoo and See-Threepio, who were still waiting in line. It was the busiest Droid Repair Shop they had ever seen, which was just fine with Han.

Han went over to talk to the manager. "Do me a favor, okay?" Han asked, slipping the man a large tip. "Keep these droids real busy until later. Threepio has several dents and Artoo has circuit damage. And after they’re fixed, give them both a double polish, a lubrication bath, and a memory upgrade." Han dropped his voice to a whisper. "My date and I would like to have a romantic night on the town-just the two of us, if you get what I mean."

"Happy to oblige you, Mr. Solo," the manager replied. Lando Calrissian was concluding a meeting with the audit droids of Hologram Fun World when Han and Leia arrived in his reception room.

Grinning from ear to ear after hearing lots of good news about Fun World’s profits, Lando hugged Leia as he stepped out of his office.

"What a treat!" Lando exclaimed. "Nothing could make me happier than to see that you’re safe and sound, Princess." Lando kissed her on the cheek. "I nearly panicked when I had to surrender my job as Governor of Cloud City to that slime-ridden beast, Zorba the Hutt. I was afraid of what Zorba would do to you if he ever found you."

"We’re no longer worried about Zorba," Han said reassuringly. "We tricked that slug into thinking that Leia is dead. Zorba thinks he destroyed the Princess when he blew up the Imperial Factory Barge back on Bespin."

Lando poured glasses of zoochberry juice for Leia, Han, and himself. "So what brings you to Hologram Fun World?" he asked. "Business or pleasure?"

"We’re eloping," Han replied, gulping down his juice in one long swig. "My days as the galaxy’s most carefree bachelor are about to come to an end." Lando laughed. "Do my ears deceive me?" he asked. "So you finally popped the question to Leia, Han."

"He asked me and I said yes, and so here we are," Leia said with a smile.

"Well, I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first, but be that as it may, this calls for a celebration!" Lando exclaimed with a wink. "Allow me to give you a little tour of our humble theme park."

In their time together, Han and Leia had zoomed through asteroid fields, fought against Death Stars side by side, battled Imperial stormtroopers, and warred against four-legged AT-AT walkers on planet Hoth. It was hard to believe, after all those experiences, that anything else could be even remotely more breathtaking.

But for the first time in their lives, thanks to the "total hologram experience" of Hologram Fun World, Han and Leia were overwhelmed. They went hover-skiing inside the mouth of an erupting volcano. Then they were swallowed by a huge Whaladon and swam their way out of its belly. They rode on the back of a star dragon as it leapt from a mountaintop and flew through the air. And they even drove a convertible cloud car right through the center of an exploding star!

To top off their visit, Leia made one of her fondest dreams come true. She took Han on a hologram fantasy voyage to Alderaan, her home planet, so Han could experience what it was like there before it was destroyed by Darth Vader and the Galactic Empire. As they wandered arm in arm on a romantic walk down the picturesque side streets of Alderaan’s largest city, Leia’s mind activated Fun World’s holographic projectors, so Han could see a world that now existed only in Leia’s memories.

Then it all vanished as the ride to Alderaan came to an abrupt end. Once again they were back in the theme park.

"Well, if you two are still planning on getting married tonight," Lando said, "I’d say we have some work to do in order to get you both ready for your big moment." Lando took them to a specialty boutique where one could buy or rent almost everything necessary for a wedding. The store had real bouquets, and Han selected a bouquet of purple roses from the moon of Endor. He handed the flowers to Princess Leia.

"I guess I was wrong about there not being any real flowers within twelve million miles of Fun World," Han admitted.

Then Han tried on several tuxedos until he found one that fit. Leia selected a very modern, white wedding dress with a long bridal veil.

"Pretty as a picture," Lando said. "And speaking of pictures, I’ve arranged for a droid photographer to do your wedding album. I want you to meet SB-9." SB-9, short for Shutter-Bug-9, had a camera built into his chest. His eyes were strobe lights that flashed whenever he snapped a picture.

"Well, I guess the only thing left to do now is to take you to the thirteenth story of the administration building," Lando said, "so the Fun World Document Droids can check over your papers."

"What papers?" Han asked.

"Your I.D., of course," Lando explained.

"I.D.? What I.D.?" Han queried, sounding bewildered.

"You two have got your birth certificates with you, don’t you?" Lando asked. Han gulped. "Are you kidding? Mine’s at my sky house back on Bespin."

"And my birth certificate was destroyed when the Empire blew up Alderaan," Leia explained.

"Do you mean to tell me that we can’t elope here unless we have our birth certificates with us?"

"Now, now-don’t jump to any conclusions, Princess," Lando said reassuringly. "There’s got to be an easy way around this problem. I’ll see if the Document Bureau can print you up some new birth certificates right away. Simple as zoochberry pie. Except-" Lando glanced at his watch, frowned, and rubbed his chin. "Uh-oh. The Document Bureau is already closed. We’ll have to get your duplicate birth certificates tomorrow, first thing in the morning."

"But Leia and I were planning on getting married tonight," Han protested.

"Sorry," Lando said. "Bureaucracy. Normally I could pull some strings and solve a little problem like this in a flash. But it’s Fun World Founder’s Day. Government offices here shut their doors early today. Everyone’s gone home."

Noticing Leia’s expression of disappointment, Lando added, "But don’t despair. You’ll get hitched by noon tomorrow, I guarantee it. In the meantime I have big plans for you two tonight. Big plans," he repeated, winking with a mischievous smile.

CHAPTER 5 The Disappearance

As soon as the Zorba Express landed at Hologram Fun World, Zorba the Hutt called a meeting of the rogues and scoundrels who had come to work with him on the voyage. The purpose of the meeting was to plan the sabotage, theft, vandalism, and terrorism that Zorba hoped would ruin Fun World’s appeal for tourists.

Meanwhile, Lando Calrissian was busy using his influence as Baron Administrator to get Han and Leia box-seat tickets for the next performance of Bithabus the Mystifier at the Asteroid Theater.

No sooner had the three of them entered the theater than trouble started a few blocks away. Zorba’s gang of thieving bounty hunters set off a bomb blast at the Starlight Bank and made off with all the valuables from the safe-deposit boxes. Elsewhere, outlaw alien bounty hunters were etching graffiti on the Hologram Fun World Administration Building with their laser pistols. And another group of thugs, led by Tibor the Barabel, barged into the Wonderbilt, one of the park’s finest hotels, and robbed the guests of all their jewelry.

However, inside the Asteroid Theater, it was business as usual. The curtain lifted, and the best-known magic act in the galaxy began. Bithabus, a highly evolved Bith humanoid with a large head and large lidless black eyes, came out onstage to thunderous applause. Then Bithabus doubled in size before everyone’s eyes, twisted himself like a pretzel, rolled across the stage floor, and magically turned into a droid very much like See-Threepio. The show was great fun, and Han, Leia, and Lando were having the time of their lives.

"A-haw-haw-haw . . . !" Zorba laughed, as the bounty hunters brought before him all the valuables they had just stolen.

Tibor placed some priceless earrings, bracelets, and necklaces into Zorba’s hands.

"Zorba," Tibor said, "this is no time for laughter. You’ve been tricked! You thought Princess Leia was dead. But Zorba-by the ghost of your great ancestor Kossak the Hutt, I swear Leia is still alive. And she’s here in Fun World right now!"

"Impossible!" Zorba raged. "She was trapped in the Imperial Factory Barge when we blew it up and sent it crashing into the Rethin Sea back on Bespin! No one could have escaped that explosion alive!"

"She must have gotten off the factory barge somehow before you destroyed it, Zorba. With my own eyes, I saw her enter the Asteroid Theater with Han Solo and Lando Calrissian!

They’re there watching the magic show of Bithabus the Mystifier!" Zorba fumed, slurping his tongue in thought. "Princess Leia . . . alive? No!" Then he smacked his left fist into his right palm and grunted, "There will be no more mistakes. This time I’ll watch with my own eyes as the princess takes her last breath-just like she watched my poor son Jabba choke to death. She’ll die-right where Jabba did, on Tatooine at the Great Pit of Carkoon!"

Zorba’s yellow reptilian eyes scanned the group of bounty hunters gathered before him. One of them was an alien of the same species as Bithabus. "You there --Cobak," Zorba said with a sneer. "You should be able to pass for Bithabus the Mystifier. I hope you can learn a little magic-fast!"

As the curtain rose after the intermission, Han, Leia, and Lando watched the performer come to the center of the stage. Bithabus silently looked out at the audience as though searching for someone. Han noticed that the magician’s eyes seemed to meet Leia’s glance.

"For my next trick," the magician said, "I’ll need a volunteer. I prefer a human. A lady, if possible."

The magician’s eyes locked on Princess Leia. "You there, Miss!" he exclaimed. "Perhaps you would be kind enough to serve as my volunteer?"

"I was afraid of this," Leia whispered to Han. "Did I ever tell you about my stage fright?"

"Go on," Lando. said. "You can’t say no, Leia, it’s for the good of the show! You’ll have fun; come on."

Leia reluctantly got out of her box seat and went up to the stage.

"What planet are you from, Miss?" the Mystifier asked.

"The planet Bespin," Leia said, giving a phony reply. "I grew up in Cloud City."

"And your name?"

"Uhm-Zelda," Leia said. "Zelda Gizler."

"Married or single, Zelda?"

"Almost married," Leia said, smiling. "The big day is tomorrow."

"And what will your married name be, Zelda?" he asked.

"Kluggerhorn. Mrs. Zack Kluggerhorn."

Leia glanced at Han, who sat grimacing. She could see his lips shaping the words "Zack Kluggerhorn?" And then he pinched his nose in mock disgust.

"Well, congratulations, Zelda. If Mr. Kluggerhorn is here tonight, I’d like to assure him that all I’m going to do is shrink you down to the size of a pea-then we’ll remove the space between your atoms so you’ll be no bigger than a virus. Sound like fun? Of course it does. Come, just step inside this beautiful golden cage . . ." Leia hesitated.

"You look upset, Zelda," the magician said. "There’s absolutely nothing to fear. I can assure you, I’m not planning to ship you off to be a slave in the spice mines of Kessel!" The audience broke out laughing. And so did the magician.

Everyone was having a wonderful time except Leia, who disliked the idea of having to climb inside the golden cage.

But all eyes in the theater were staring at her. Reluctantly Leia took a deep breath, told herself it was all in fun, and stepped inside the cage. The magician then slammed the door shut and locked it.

Suddenly two bounty hunters leapt out from behind the curtains at the wings of the stage.

TZZZZZT!!

The bounty hunters fired blasters at the power unit that controlled the lights. TZZZZZZ . . . TZT . . . TZKLE .. .

The theater fell into total darkness, as the overhead illumination went out. Shrieks of fear came from the audience.