Star Struck (6 page)

‘And all I can say, Dad …’ Catherine said bravely, ‘is who the hell is Colonel Tom Parker?’

‘Who … what … who the …’ Mick stammered as if he was utterly agog at his daughter’s lack of knowledge. ‘Only Elvis’s bloody manager, that’s who!’

‘Elvis Presley?’

‘What other Elvis is there?’ Mick asked, outraged.

‘Costello?’ Claire said.

‘Who’s bothered about Elvis Costello? Jesus H. Corbett,’ Mick said, shaking his head in disgust.

‘So, you knew him well then, did you, Dad? Elvis’s manager?’ Jo asked.

‘Like that,’ Mick said, prodding his entwined fingers in Jo’s direction.

‘Where did you meet him?’

‘Brighouse.’

Catherine closed her eyes and took a deep breath. The fact that she had just had possibly the worst morning of her life seemed lost on her family. ‘Can we go please?’ she asked.

‘I need the lav,’ Mick said, clambering out of the car.

‘No, Dad. Not in there.’ Catherine didn’t want her dad trying to get back into the hotel.

‘I’ve got my disability badge with me, what are they going to do, chuck me out? I’ll go to the
Manchester Evening News
with it if I have to.’ Mick was always threatening to go to the
Manchester Evening News
. It didn’t matter how unreasonable he was being about something, he naturally assumed that he was somehow fighting the
corner
of the little man. He’d once been arrested and cautioned for staging a sit-in and singing ‘We Shall Overcome’ at Central Library because they’d tried to charge him twenty-six pence for returning a Jamie Oliver cookbook two weeks late. Catherine thought this was an odd choice of book for her father to borrow seeing as he didn’t seem to know how to turn the cooker on. When the police were pulling him through the doors of the library for causing a scene, he had shouted to anyone who’d listen, ‘Get me the
Manchester Evening News
on the phone!’

Just as Mick was getting out of the passenger door, someone ran up to the side of the car. Catherine stretched to see who it was. It was the cute clipboard guy who worked with Jason P. Longford.

‘Thank God I caught you.’

‘Me?’ said Mick.

‘Yeah, Dad, the world revolves round you,’ Jo quipped.

‘No, Catherine.’ The clipboard guy looked at her. Catherine put her hand to her chest; she was shocked. ‘Richard Forster wants you to come back in, have some time to calm down and forget what happened earlier and do the audition again.’

Catherine was speechless. Maria wasn’t. ‘Oh my God! That is so brilliant, come on, let’s go!’

‘I’m under strict instructions – it’s just Catherine, I’m afraid.’

Catherine looked at Claire, Maria, Jo, Rosie and then at her dad standing forlornly on the pavement. ‘Go on, Catherine. Go for it,’ Claire urged.

Jo nodded in agreement. ‘Seriously, sis. Off you go. Break a leg. You’ll make a dead good fake celebrity. I’ll come
to
Nobu with you and hang out with Chantelle if you want.’

Catherine smiled. ‘Thanks Jo, you’re a trooper.’

‘Any time.’

‘We’ll come and get you when you’re ready.’ Claire said. Catherine looked at her sisters. Could this be support from her family?

‘Good luck, Aunty Catherine,’ Rosie said sweetly.

Even Maria managed a half-generous smile and said, ‘They must have thought you were good for something if they’re asking you back.’

Catherine got out of the car and looked at her dad, hoping for an iota of encouragement, but he didn’t look at her. Instead he turned his attention to the guy with the clipboard and said, ‘Any chance of using the bog?’

‘I’m Andy, by the way,’ the clipboard guy said to Catherine, putting his hand out for her to shake. ‘I’m really sorry about what happened with Jason earlier.’

Catherine shook his hand. It was one of those moments where she wished he hadn’t put his hand out and she could tell he was thinking the same. They shook hands limply and then both laughed, embarrassed. ‘He’s horrible,’ Catherine said about Jason. She wasn’t going to dwell on the embarrassing handshake.

‘Yes, he is.’

‘But you still work for him.’

‘I haven’t got any choice. Believe me, if I did I’d swap in a heartbeat,’ Andy said.

‘Jason P. Longford.’ Catherine mused over the name. ‘What’s the P for?’

‘Penis, I think.’ Andy deadpanned. Catherine cracked out laughing.

‘It suits him.’

‘He’s awful, but I can deal with awful if it means I get to do something good with my life.
Star Maker
only runs until Christmas, then after that I can hopefully work on another show.’ Andy went on to explain to Catherine a bit about his frantic job. Catherine found herself laughing at his anecdotes.

They reached the entrance to the hotel again and Andy opened the door. Catherine stepped through, thanking him. She couldn’t remember the last time someone had opened a door for her; mostly people hadn’t realised she was there. Just being back in the waiting room made Catherine nervous again. ‘I’ll have to wait hours, won’t I?’ she said to Andy.

‘I don’t think so. I only said the thing about you having a few hours before you went in again for your family’s benefit. I hope you don’t mind. They seem pretty persistent and if they’d have come back in with you I think I might have been sacked.’

Catherine laughed, mortified by her family. Then, the fact that she had been asked to come back in hit her and she was suddenly overwhelmed. She gripped Andy’s arm.

‘Are you OK?’ he asked.

She took a deep breath. ‘Yes. Sorry.’

‘You nearly cut off my blood supply.’

Catherine shut her eyes and told herself to get her act together. This was a huge opportunity and she wasn’t going to blow it a second time. She could feel that other people
in
the audition room were looking at her, wondering why she was getting special treatment. She tried to block them out.

‘Oh God,’ Andy whispered. Catherine looked up to see Jason P. Longford heading over to them at speed.

‘Here she is! Here she is!’ he announced at the top of his lungs as if he and Catherine were long-lost best friends. He put his arm around her, something which made Catherine’s shoulders shoot up to her ears. He squeezed so hard that it made Catherine yelp involuntarily. ‘Coming through. Coming through,’ Jason said clearing a way through the crowds. ‘Lady with a second chance.’ The camera crew followed her, and Catherine looked round for Andy and caught his eye. ‘Good luck,’ he mouthed. Jason forced her through the audition room doors.

‘Back again.
Déjà vu!
’ he said to the judges with such fake cheer that Catherine was sure he was going to snap and kill someone any moment. ‘
Voila!
’ he said, posturing like a magician’s assistant.

‘Thank you, Jason. That’ll be all,’ Richard said. Then he turned and said off-microphone to one of the producers, ‘Can we cut him out of this section if we use this?’ The producer nodded. ‘Good,’ Richard said.

It seemed that Catherine and Andy weren’t the only ones not to be enamoured by Jason Penis Longford.

‘Right,’ Richard said, looking up at Catherine. ‘We’ve had a change of heart. I like you. I think you’ve got something, but I think that you were far too nervous because of your family. Do you think giving you a second chance is the right thing to do?’

‘Absolutely,’ Catherine said. As she was standing there,
having
been given that second chance, she suddenly knew that she could do this.

‘Off you go then,’ Richard Forster said, giving her the nod to start.

Catherine began to sing. She could feel the pitch of her voice, low and strong to begin with, dipping breathily in the verse and soaring sweetly in the chorus. She knew every word and note inside out, she had sung this song a thousand times, and in her imagination had performed it on countless occasions. It felt like her own song; her own words. This time around, singing this song as it should be sung was as natural to Catherine as breathing. She finished the last chorus and realised she had been allowed to sing the song all the way through. She looked at the judges, feeling as if she had just emerged from a trance. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest. Now was the moment of truth.

Carrie Ward spoke first. ‘That was just beautiful.’ Catherine could see that she had tears in her eyes. She hoped that was a good thing.

Next up was Cherie Forster. ‘Well, all I can say is I’m glad we brought you back and I disagree wholeheartedly with what Richard said earlier. A voice like yours would be a breath of fresh air in America.’ She threw her husband a look. He didn’t respond.

Lionel was nodding next to her. ‘I have to agree. I’ll eat my previous words; that was a brilliant performance.’

Catherine eyes were darting between the judges, she was trying to take in what they were saying but it just didn’t seem to compute. Her gaze landed on Richard Forster.

‘So, Catherine …’ he paused for what seemed like an
eternity.
‘Your first audition was a little shaky but we decided to bring you back because we thought that you might have something.’ He paused again. Catherine’s legs were shaking, barely holding her up. ‘And I have to say that I think you have, I can’t put my finger on it, but there’s something about you.’ He paused again, the suspense was killing Catherine. ‘And that performance was one of the best auditions I’ve ever seen. You were sensational.’ Catherine clapped her hands to her mouth. ‘So here’s the moment of truth … Carrie?’

‘Again. One hundred per cent, yes.’

‘Lionel?’

‘It’s a yes from me.’

‘Cherie?’

‘If I get you in my category, we’ve won. Yes! Yes! Yes!’

‘Catherine?’ Richard paused again. Catherine thought she was going to collapse with anticipation. ‘You’re through to Boot Camp.’

Catherine jumped in the air, ‘Thank you so much!’ she said. She was about to run over to the judges but then collected herself and ran out of the audition room. Jason tried to get hold of her for an interview but she ran straight towards the first friendly face she saw: Andy. ‘I’m through!’ she squealed and threw her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. He hugged her back. Then suddenly the moment had gone and as excited as she was, Catherine realised she was hugging a virtual stranger. ‘Sorry,’ she said, embarrassed, pulling away. But Andy didn’t seem to mind. In fact he was beaming and it seemed that he was just about to say something when Jason got his Vulcan-like grip on Catherine’s arm and pulled her into camera shot.

‘Get over here, you’d better get used to this if you’re going to be famous,’ he hissed.

She wasn’t going to be famous, she thought. Not her – was she? But even as she tried to make her way through the other hopefuls who were now surrounding her, waiting to hear her good luck story, Catherine had the disconcerting feeling that things might never be the same again.

Chapter 2

‘WELL, WELL. SATURDAY
evening mass; we’ll make a good Catholic of you yet.’ Father McGary smiled at Catherine.

She had been sitting at the back of church throughout the service having left the house for some fresh air and headed to the only place where – up until today – she had felt welcome to sing. Father McGary was a portly man with a big shock of greying ginger hair and thick Deidre Barlow glasses. Catherine often wondered how he’d ended up with a pair of glasses that were so obviously meant for a female face but she’d never asked him. Anyway, they kind of suited him.

‘I just needed a bit of time out of the house,’ Catherine explained. ‘I’ve had a bit of a mad day.’

‘You and me both. The church roof has pigeons lofting in it and I’ve been up a ladder with a sweeping brush trying to get at them for the best part of the afternoon,’ Father McGary said. ‘What have you been up to? Is your father demanding to be pushed in his bed from Land’s End to John O’Groats?’

Catherine laughed. Over the past few years, as Catherine had come to the church to practise her singing, she and the priest had built up a good rapport and she had slowly begun to confide in him about her role within her family. She knew that Father McGary felt that she took too much on with her father but he never pushed
the
issue, he just made the odd wry comment that made her think.

‘No, I went to the
Star Maker
auditions,’ Catherine said, wincing slightly as she delivered the news. She was half expecting Father McGary to either not know what she was talking about or to be disgusted with her. Would he think that it was shows like that that were adding to the moral bankruptcy of the nation and that she’d need to go to confession and repent immediately?

‘I nearly went myself!’ Father McGary exclaimed excitedly, smacking Catherine on the arm. ‘I had the form filled out and everything. I thought, they’ve never had a priest on before. I’ll be the first one.’

Catherine laughed. ‘What were you going to sing?’

‘“When Doves Cry” by Prince.’

Catherine almost laughed again but when she realised that Father McGary was serious she swallowed it.

‘I didn’t know you could sing, Father.’

‘I can’t, I haven’t a note in my head, but it looks like a nice day out, and like I said, I’d have been the first priest. I’d have got myself and the parish noticed and that way more people might come to mass. More people might put money in the collection and I might get the roof fixed and not find myself up to my elbows in pigeon poo on a regular basis.’ Father McGary’s warped logic somehow made perfect sense to Catherine. ‘So, tell me, how did you get on? Did you get to meet that Forster fella?’

Catherine told Father McGary all about her day and the fact that she was now through to the Boot Camp stage of the competition. He sat listening to the story, taking
it
all in with glee. ‘I’m delighted for you!’ he said, ruffling Catherine’s hair as if she were a toddler. Something about the priest’s unconditional support touched Catherine and tears sprang to her eyes.

‘Eh, no crying now. What are the tears for?’

Catherine shrugged, she wasn’t entirely sure. She thought a moment. ‘I’m just worried I suppose …’

‘Worried about what?’