Star Kitten (7 page)

The Slarts were not terribly impressed so
far, but they nodded politely as Hicks stopped, gave a big long
humorous glance over at his life partner Perry, then looked back at
his audience of very intellectual and peaceful Slartigifijians with
an icy cold heartless look on his face. Then he spoke again, “But
it’s all just one big goddamn diversion, gentlemen….” All the
emotion drained from his face. At that, he turned back to the
diagram. It was sitting on a large stone side table and leaning
against the cave wall. Hicks pointed and gestured with his hands as
he described the rest, “Drawing fire from the guards in the kill
slots, we’ll be able to tunnel our way through the floor of the
station and come right up between their legs… right up their
asses.” He grinned while he gestured in an underhanded motion like
he was reaching up under something to plug it with his thumb.

Then he reached his hand over the top of the
diagram and pointed downward, saying “Our Porko friends will tunnel
through the ceiling as well. By the time the guards realize they’re
being crushed like a vice; our infantry will be able to drill
through the gate of the depot and break in to eliminate the
garrison.”

The plan, as Hicks proposed it, would
require over 2000 soldiers for each attack, with additional teams
of Porkos drilling and tunneling carefully through the planet onto
the roof of each structure; and through the ground below it
simultaneously without being detected. This would go on for days
before the actual assault and then, each attack would be signaled
to occur once the guard shift change was developing. Guard shift
changes were coordinated to occur at various times throughout the
planet; so Perry picked three that had similar schedules.

Casualties in the diversionary assault would
be appalling, but the Porkos also would face a mauling when they
came up through the floor and through the ceiling. Hicks was very
blunt about that! However, the Slarts still liked the overall
strategy and accepted General Hicks’s plan, nodding toward each
other and toward their leader Architeuthis. “General Hicks, we
appreciate your honesty and boldness,” said Architeuthis. “Your
ingenuity and cunning have served you well in this endeavor; and we
are grateful for your efforts. We also thank you, Perry, for
assisting in the presentation.”

But Perry wasn’t just the “loyal friend”
behind the scenes. Perry was actually the brains of that power
couple! Perry politely asked if he could add something to the
meeting, and the heretofore very masculine and rough-edged general,
suddenly became quite apologetic when he realized he’d skipped over
something very important: smoke bombs. “Oh yes, I almost forgot,”
snickered the grizzled general, “My partner Perry has something
more to add which will make things a little easier on our Porko
friends.” Perry chuckled a moment and winked subtly at his lover,
then said soberly, “Smoke bombs can be made for the Porkos to use
as a screen to disguise their movements within the guard station as
they try to climb through the holes they’ve created. To break
inside the roof and floor of the guard station, they’ll use
acetylene cutting torches during the attack. The noise of the
attack outside should be sufficient to keep the guards distracted
on one side of the station, while our Porko comrades cut through
the steel. Once through the hole, they can hurl smoke bombs inside
and confuse the occupants long enough to climb in.”

Perry smirked humbly at his audience a bit,
realizing how vastly more intelligent they were. So he said, “Now
I’m no chemist, but any high school chemistry student knows
Potassium Nitrate and brown sugar is about all you need… three
quarts of Potassium Nitrate and two quarts of raw sugar, to be
exact.” The Slarts just nodded patiently. They understood already
what he was implying, but not exactly how he intended to use this
compound. What Perry proposed was to boil the mixture in a cast
iron vessel until all was liquefied, then poor it into metal boxes
lined with aluminum foil wrappers that came out of large food
ration packages. Before the mixture had set and solidified again, a
fuse could be attached to it. Before tossing the bomb inside, it
could be lit by acetylene torches to ignite the smoke. And what’s
more, Barium salt could also be added to the mixture so that the
smoke would have a green color and be more terrifying to the
trapped guards defending the station.

Perry clearly enjoyed his moment in the
spotlight telling all about his clever idea, concluding, “Our big
Porko friends, supported by lightning quick Zorgs, can then climb
through ceilings and floors to get safely inside before attacking
and eliminating the last of the guards.”

The Slarts were impressed. Casualties would
be appalling yes, but this attack plan seemed like it would work.
And… if it was conducted in several parts of the mining network,
against several different guard stations simultaneously, there’d be
no time to send a relief force to quell the uprising before the
Nausties would have captured enough food to supply the rebellion
for a full month. They’d also have a very large cache of automatic
weapons captured for their next assaults on the remaining
depots.

However… next would come the really hard
part: getting up those long elevator shafts to assault the main
terminal….

“Very impressive,” said Architeuthis. “And
how do you propose we get all the way up to the command center to
attack and overwhelm the security force protecting it?” he asked
gently. General Hicks again cleared his throat. “Well sir, that’s
where it gets really interesting,” he growled. He gestured toward
the table that the Slarts were sitting around and pulled out a
grease pencil that would usually be utilized in drawing a target
for a power drill or cutting torch. “With your permission,
gentlemen?” he snarled. The Slarts moved back from the table while
the nearly naked tattooed general leaned over to begin drawing a
rough sketch of the planet’s inner network of shafts and tunnels.
As he wheezed and snarled, murmuring to himself, the violent man
meticulously created a rather detailed picture.

It took several minutes for him to draw it
all; while the Slarts murmured and fluttered their facial
tentacles, apparently quite fascinated.

What Hicks had
remarkably
memorized
over the years, was a blueprint diagram of the elevator
network and maintenance shafts used by repairmen in the case of a
breakdown in the enormous elevator mechanisms used to carry
payloads up to the surface. This was because the same diagram was
posted on the inside wall of the guard commander substation near
the Arian Knights’ section of the mine! Over the years of going
inside guard stations to negotiate conditions for his men, Hicks
had learned how ore and crystals were being shipped from the planet
core back to the surface. Now, from wrote memory, he was showing
the Slarts just how they could get back to the surface.

Hicks said in a low voice,
while he drew a rough cutaway view of this diabolical system, “Long
ago, these freight elevators were constructed in deep shafts
drilled into the planet core. They all connect to one main tunnel
system that spider webs around the planet like a giant planet-wide
city grid. Up there massive dump trucks ferry the materials back to
the loading bay
here
… where the main terminal is located. We can ascend several
of these shafts simultaneously using the prison’s own metal
emergency ladders attached to the walls of the shaft. General
Mwanga of the Schpleeftkorkii gang is running this operation for
us. He’ll use tens of thousands to do it too… Zorgs first, of
course, then Spleefs… climbing for miles up to this tunnel which
runs across the planet about a quarter mile below the surface—give
or take a few hundred feet. From this tunnel we’ll form a
bridgehead to supply the final assault on the main
terminal.”

Architeuthis was intrigued. He remembered
vaguely, from years before when he was brought to the planet, how
the transport ship had descended below the surface several hundred
feet to a distribution center where he was off-loaded with the
other prisoners. This must be what Hicks was referring to. He asked
politely, “And then… how do we fight the security forces defending
the terminal and the transport tunnel?”

Hicks looked right at him and grinned
viciously, “Bloody carnage, sir. And we’ll use weapons we’ve
captured off of their dead guards to fight ‘em.”

The other Slarts from the planning committee
gasped and murmured to each other in their native Slartigifij,
mixed with some Galactic. It didn’t matter, Hicks could understand
them just fine. “I know gentlemen,” he said in a raised voice which
hushed the fidgeting squid-like Slarts. Then he said in an icy
determined voice, “It’s a tall order, but we’ve got explosive
charges we’ve used for many years to blast open mine cavities and
cut away rock to free giant crystals. We’ll get in eventually. They
can’t stop us for long.” He sneered menacingly while he replaced
the cap on the grease pencil. Perry, standing nearby, crossed his
arms and glared at the Slarts right along with his partner.

The gravity of the situation was finally
hitting Architeuthis and sunk deep into his soul. Was he really
willing to sacrifice so much? Could he order such an attack and
endure the sorrowful loss of life that was bound to occur as a
result? Clearly, General Hicks was fully prepared to go forward
with this attack. Clearly, General Hicks was willing to risk the
lives of his gang members, his lover Perry, and for that matter,
even his own life. These Humans… these Earthers… did they really
have no fear at all? Or was Hicks really just insanely violent,
like Earthmen were often said to be. Architeuthis only knew one
thing, and that was this: he knew he’d chosen the right man for
this task.

Architeuthis looked around the room and saw
the sad emotion-filled giant squid-like eyes of his fellow Slarts.
He looked back at the determined glare of General Hicks, and the
proud dedication of his life partner Perry. The Porkos would fight.
The Zorgs and Spleefs would fight. The Pumalars? Oh they’d rush
into battle headlong with the ferocity of jungle cats. All the
Nausties on the planet would sacrifice everything they had to
support their brethren in this epic battle. But oh, the cost!
Architeuthis thought for a moment. He needed to decide right now.
Only one being could make this decision to send thousands of other
fellow Nausties to their deaths, and only one intelligent life form
should take the responsibility for this, come what may.

With a deep sigh, Architeuthis calmly said
in a gentle voice to the Earthman, “General Hicks… you may proceed.
Inform the planning committee of all your supply, equipment,
weapon, and manpower needs as well as your timetables. Communicate
with no one outside of this room about what we discussed tonight,
of course. We will convene again… in thirty Earth days.”

Maintaining the upmost in secrecy, General
Hicks of the new “Naustie Planetary Command” maneuvered several
battle groups throughout the planet to coordinate their attacks on
several key guard posts. He had chosen three. Porkos did the
tunneling; and work gangs gradually moved large boulders or
vehicles into place in a tactical grid pattern in front of the
three main military objectives. Then a replica of this grid design
was constructed at each training camp so that troops could practice
moving and hopping from cover to cover until they reached a mock-up
of a guard station. Soldiers training on these courses were even
pelted with rocks while they moved—to replicate live fire!

As the time for the assault rapidly
approached, unit commanders were all told of the plan: on the “day”
of attack, a crack unit of Zorg Slingers was to assassinate the
unit commander of each outpost as they went through a shift change
and new guards were arriving from the surface. The goal was to kill
as many of these guards as possible while only a few were still
inside the post.

The Zorgs were to use deadly slingshots,
which they’d gradually demonstrated a proficiency at using during
training. Their weapons were a simple device that stretched thick
rubber tubes from a metal brace which locked over the wrist of the
warrior and fired a stone projectile the size of a golf ball. The
short but quite virile Zorgs could then pull back the rubber tube
to their throats, relying on their great eyesight to mark their
target. At thirty yards they were relatively accurate in causing
mortal injury if fired at the forehead of a victim; and if even
closer, these Slingers hardly ever missed. Earthers were better at
using Javelins, so they were to move up and occupy forward
positions near the guard station and attempt to impale as many
guards as possible after the Zorgs knocked off the unit
commander.

These first three objectives Hick’s chose
were guard posts located nearest to elevator shafts leading up to
the main terminal. General Hicks calculated that by securing these
three posts simultaneously, they could assemble assault troops for
the ascent and the final confrontation with security forces
protecting the headquarters of Warden Ggggaaah. His assumption,
though ambitious, was that all remaining guard posts would be
abandoned planet-wide, when Warden Ggggaaah believed his stronghold
was threatened. The entire offensive could then be directed on the
main terminal.

Thus, using Earth time measurements, the
entire attack on all three guard stations, was coordinated to occur
at 05:00 on the same day. Architeuthis and his Slart planners sent
out the message to the rest of the planet’s gang leaders two weeks
before; allowing Zorg runners to spread the news. When the big day
came, all of “New Australia” braced itself for the repercussions.
They were about to go to war!