Stage Fright (11 page)

“Yeah. Okay.” Jesse wondered how Brad knew.
Brad’s gaze flicked over to the bar and back to Jesse. “Just stay smart.” “I will.”

Jesse didn’t socialize much with anyone from the theater other than Mike, but Brad had been friendly, accepting. He’d gone out of his way tonight to give him a heads-up, and Jesse appreciated that.

“Thanks, Brad. I owe you one.”

 

Brad raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. “Why, yes. You do.” He smiled. “Night, Jesse.” He walked off whistling under his breath.

 

Jesse sat at the table for a few minutes. Brad had given him a lot to think about and forced him to acknowledge some things he’d been trying to avoid.

He wanted to think Val was too mature and self-confident to be jealous, but that was unrealistic given Jesse’s line of work. Since they worked together, Val had to watch him make a spectacle of himself and endure his chats with the ladies every night. That was enough to bring out the green-eyed monster in anyone. Would letting everyone know he was gay help? He didn’t know.

He gathered up the empties and headed over to the bar. Val asked him what they’d been talking about, and his cheeks reddened when Jesse told him about Brad’s warning.

“I’m sorry. I thought you might like the storeroom better than my car. You never seem to completely relax in the Subaru.”
“You sure it wasn’t some macho bullshit thing? You weren’t just staking a claim?” Jesse needed to know.
Instead of getting angry like he expected, Val’s flush deepened. “Maybe a little, but you have no idea what you do to me. Thank God I work behind the bar. Most nights I’m so hard it hurts.” He ducked his head, and Jesse had to strain to hear the rest. “I see you and I want to be with you, but there’s an entire audience keeping us apart.”

Val’s hand rested on the bar. Jesse covered it with his own and squeezed. “Hey. That’s kind of romantic.”
Val turned his hand palm up and interlaced their fingers.

Jesse knew they were alone, and his back blocked their hands from sight, but he still tensed. He needed to get over this paranoia, but they were less than thirty feet from a busy pedestrian thoroughfare and still technically at work.

Val sighed and eased his fingers from Jesse’s. “Mike said you didn’t seem too happy when you got back. I should have realized… I almost got you in trouble.” He looked Jesse in the eye and squared his shoulders as if waiting for Jesse to yell at him.

“Us. Not just me,” Jesse corrected. He wanted to remind Val both their jobs were at risk.

 

“Sorry. I guess it was kind of an asshole move.” Val’s body seemed to droop. “It was hot, though,” Jesse added, grinning.

 

“Yeah.” Val grinned back.
* * * *

Val didn’t touch him at work after that. Not sexually, anyway. Sometimes their hands brushed or Val gave him a heated look if they were alone, but he didn’t ask Jesse to go to the storeroom or try anything more than a quick kiss in the car. That didn’t stop Jesse from remembering the moist heat of Val’s mouth, the wet, dirty sounds of Val taking him deep, or the giddy feeling of letting go and throwing caution aside.

In fact, he remembered almost every night when he was alone in the privacy of his bed. Val was the best lover Jesse had ever had. Not that he’d been with many men. Being out of high school had allowed him more freedom. He’d felt less vulnerable and more willing to explore his attraction to other men, but it wasn’t as easy as he’d thought.

The year after he graduated, Jesse had started driving to the next town once a week. He’d sat in his parents’ car, watching men enter and exit the only gay bar he knew of within a hundred-mile radius. Even if he’d been legally old enough to drink, he doubted he’d have worked up the courage to go inside. After a couple of months he stopped going.

His first lover had been a college student home for the summer. Tony was three years older than him and ran a one-man landscaping business. Jesse hadn’t known Tony in high school, not to talk to, yet he’d been sure Tony was straight back then.

At twenty-two Tony had been more than willing to introduce Jesse to gay sex. Jesse had seen the irony in driving to the neighboring town every weekend only to end up getting it on with the guy his mom paid to mow their lawn.

After that summer he’d been less worried about what people thought of him, though he still maintained a low profile. His parents hadn’t given him a hard time when he’d finally told them he was gay, but it didn’t take a college degree to realize his dad was disappointed and his mom worried for his safety. She’d told him life for a gay man was often harder than for a straight man. Jesse hadn’t the heart to tell her he’d already discovered that truth.

He knew he was lucky. A lot of guys had a much harder time at home. Still, he wasn’t going to introduce some bare-chested, boxer-clad hookup to his parents over breakfast. He respected his mom and dad too much. He didn’t publicly flaunt his orientation in his bigoted little town either. No one else who lived there seemed to be out, and when he started sleeping with a closeted mechanic, they were careful to be discreet.

Looking back, Jesse realized all his previous relationships, if they could be called relationships, had been strictly about getting their rocks off as quickly and as many times as possible.

This was different. Val spent time exploring his body, and Jesse did the same with Val. Together they discovered that blunt fingernails scraping against the back of his thigh could make his dick stiffen and his skin break out in goose bumps, and Jesse loved the almost desperate noises Val made when Jesse tongued or sucked the thin skin over his hip bone.

Sometimes, after the first passionate coupling, they made out for what seemed like hours. Eventually they’d make love again, and Val would hold him close, rocking slowly inside him, bringing Jesse to an intense, almost painful climax. When Jesse dozed afterward, Val smoothed gentle hands over him, stroking his hair and kissing his skin. Jesse felt as if Val used sex as a way to express his emotions. His touch told Jesse that he wasn’t the only one developing serious feelings.

Chapter Eight

Jesse pulled a couple of crumpled dollars bills from his wallet. “I’ll take two waters, please.” It was only a couple of weeks since his storeroom tryst with Val, but the late-spring temperatures were setting records. The Vegas afternoon was a lot toastier than Jesse was used to, and he was hot and thirsty.

The teenager selling bottled water out of a blue-and-white plastic cooler reached for the money. “Sure.”
“Jesse Snowe!”

Jesse looked up and froze. Ben Mitchum stood just a few feet away, taking up half the sidewalk. He’d seemed smaller on TV, but here in real life he looked just as threatening as Jesse remembered from high school.

“Here’s your waters, man.” The teenager held out two dripping bottles, glancing uncertainly at Ben.
“Thanks,” Jesse said automatically, his heart beating hard. He took both before the kid could offer one to Ben. Damn it. Of all the shitty luck.
Ben came toward him, smiling, and Jesse stepped away from the street vendor and out of earshot. Tourists flowed around them like a stream around a couple of rocks.
Ben held out his hand. “Long time, no see. It’s been what, five years?”
Jesse eyed the outstretched hand. “I guess so.” He tucked one sweating bottle into the crook of his elbow and wiped his palm on his jeans before shaking Ben’s hand.
Ben’s grip was firm but not painful. “So how long did it take you to get out of that shit hole?”
The tone was all wrong. Ben sounded…friendly. Jesse stared, but Ben wore sunglasses, so he couldn’t see his eyes or figure out his expression. But then Jesse wore sunglasses too, so Ben couldn’t see his eyes either. For some reason that helped.
Jesse straightened. He was an adult now. He could do this. “A few years.”

“Man.” Ben shook his head. “I couldn’t wait. As soon as high school was over I hightailed it out and never looked back.”
Jesse shifted his weight and scanned the crowded sidewalk. He was about to see the Bellagio’s fountain show with Val. His first instinct was to disengage from Ben. His second was to make sure Val didn’t see him with the jock. Mostly because he’d have to explain who Ben was. Val was observant. He’d see Jesse didn’t like Ben, and he’d want to know why. Jesse wasn’t ready to share that part of his past yet. Maybe he never would be. Plus he didn’t want Ben’s oily gaze sliding over Val. Jesse’s jaw clenched at the thought of the jock’s disdainful sneer directed at Val the minute he realized they were together.
“So you’re famous now, huh?”

Jesse’s attention jerked back to Ben. “What?”

 

“You’re some hot-to-trot stripper.”

Jesse felt the blood drain from his face. He strained to hear Ben over the rushing sound in his ears.
“I saw the poster.” Ben’s mouth curved. “I saw a bit of your act too.”

“You came to the show?” He hoped like hell the answer was no. Sometimes they had an uncomfortable husband or a gay couple in the audience, but he would have noticed if Ben had been there.

God, he felt sick. It was bad enough doing the show for strangers, but to think that someone he knew had watched him dance around the stage pulling the waistband of his thong down and flexing his butt muscles for the cheering crowd… And not just anyone, but Ben I’m-An-Asshole Mitchum, the guy who used to take him down in seconds every time they were partnered in wrestling. He’d press Jesse into the mat and ask him if he got off on having Ben on top of him. Once he’d told his buddies that Jesse got a hard-on while Ben had him pinned. It wasn’t true, but that didn’t matter. The rumor stuck around like a stubborn case of jock itch.

Ben laughed. “Fuck, no. Some of the girls at work came to Vegas and videotaped part of the show.”
“Unauthorized videos aren’t allowed,” Jesse said automatically.

Ben shrugged. “It was only a couple of minutes. At first I couldn’t believe it was you dancing around some ladder twitching your ass. You were always so shy at school.”

A scalding-hot flush crept up his neck and into his face. Jesse wanted a sinkhole to open up and swallow him or, better yet, swallow Ben and bury him alive.

An overweight tourist jostled Ben and apologized. Ben didn’t notice. He leaned closer, his gaze fastened on Jesse’s. “It was something to see. You stripping down to almost nothing while those women screamed for you.”

Jesse stood statue still. The breeze, so refreshing just a few minutes ago, chilled his damp skin. He glanced at his watch and swore. “I’ve got to go.”

“Wait.” Ben grabbed his forearm. “I’m in town for a couple of days. Why don’t we get together? Have a few beers?”
Jesse shook him off. “No. I don’t think so.”

“Why not? We can get drunk and catch up, talk about the old days.” “The old days? Are you for real?” The water bottles he was holding crackled loudly. He tried to relax his grip.

“I know some of us were kind of hard on you back then, but that’s part of high school. It’s a dog-eat-dog world.” Ben’s sunglasses dipped down and then back up as he gave Jesse a deliberate once-over. “Looks like you turned out okay,” he drawled.

Jesse wanted to rip that smug grin right off his face.

 

Ben’s grin widened. “Hey, just trying to be friendly.”

 

“Fuck you.”

Jesse hadn’t gone more than ten feet when he met Val coming toward him. “Where’ve you been? The show starts pretty soon.” Val looked past him, over his shoulder. “Who’s that guy? Was he hassling you?”

Jesse grabbed his arm and pulled him forward. “Nobody. Just some stupid tourist. Come on. I want to get a good spot.”

They pressed together with the other gawkers in front of the Bellagio and watched the fountains create intricate patterns, spraying shimmering liquid diamonds high into the air before they fell gracefully back into the man-made lake. The display really was amazing, but Jesse couldn’t enjoy it. Ben’s presence in Vegas and his attempt to “catch up” spoiled it. Jesse wondered what Ben really wanted. Probably another chance to humiliate him.

* * * *
“Are you even listening?” Val sounded exasperated. They were walking over to the theater after the fountain display.

 

“Sorry.” Jesse gave Val his full attention. “I asked if you wanted to do something different tomorrow.”

“Sure.” Jesse squashed his disappointment. He liked their Monday routine. They usually relaxed and lounged around, cuddling and having sex. He liked staying the night too and waking up beside Val if he could. “You want to hang out at my place instead? Chris is on afternoon shift, so he won’t be home till late.” Val couldn’t sleep over. Not if Chris was home. Those were the rules they’d set up long before Jesse met Val, but it didn’t matter. Jesse’s bed was too small for two to sleep comfortably anyway.

Val shook his head. “That’s not what I meant.”

 

“What, then?”

 

Val smirked. “I’ve got a plan, but it’ll mean getting up early.”

 

“I’m not the one who sleeps till noon,” Jesse pointed out.

 

“Can you be ready at eight?” Jesse, still irritable from his meeting with Ben and less than eager to do tonight’s show, bristled. “Of course I can.”

Val didn’t notice. “Good. Oh, and wear shoes, not flip-flops or sandals. Boots are better if you have them.”
Jesse had been about to ask, somewhat sarcastically, if Val could be ready at eight, but now he was sidetracked. “Why? What’re you up to?”
Val, looking pleased with himself, said, “It’s a surprise.”

Jesse was quiet.
Val nudged him with his shoulder. “Hey. Don’t you like surprises?” Jesse thought of his unexpected encounter with Ben Mitchum. “Not much.”

Val’s hazel eyes shone warmly. “You’ll like this one. Trust me.”
Jesse’s sour mood evaporated. They’d have extra time together, and Val wanted to take him somewhere special. Most likely somewhere outside Vegas. This was a new development in their relationship. He nudged Val back playfully. “Okay, but if you’re getting up at the butt crack of dawn, we’d better stop somewhere so I can buy you a really big coffee. I don’t want my surprise to be you falling asleep at the wheel and driving us off the road.”
Val looked at him, and Jesse almost felt that tender gaze caress his face. Val probably wasn’t aware, but the strength of his feelings was clear, his expression so naked and honest Jesse wasn’t sure he was supposed to see it. He looked away for Val’s sake, dropping his head and focusing on the dirty pavement as they walked.