Spurs & Stilettos (22 page)

“I don’t want to be pregnant alone Wes. You’re going to miss everything.” I’m pouting like a child but I don’t care. No one can hear me but Wesley.

He lets out an aggravated sigh, “I’m not going to miss anything. Drop this please; I don’t want to talk about this right now. You’re over thinking this sweetheart.”

I roll my eyes and try my best to forget about it but I can’t. His lips brush my hair again and I’m at ease for a second. I grab his hand and link our fingers together tightly. I refuse to let him go, I’ll do whatever I have to keep him here with me and our child. No, I won’t break his other arm or cause him any pain but I’ll beg on my knees if I have to.

Chapter 28

It’s been a week since Wesley attempted to propose to me in bed and I turned him d
own. He hasn’t brought it up again, about it since but I can’t help but dwell on it. If we rushed into marriage, who’s to say it wouldn’t end horribly when we wake up on morning and think to ourselves, what the hell have I done? I can’t be that person. I can’t do it.

Most of my morning is spent in the bedroom trying to figure out what the hell I’m wearing today. Pregnancy is not being a very nice friend to me. My body is changing and I’m not liking the changes at all. I groan as I flop myself on the couch beside Wesley. I’m sitting on his good side so I’m not too gentle as I land. “I’m getting fat.”

He smirks, leaning in to kiss my forehead. “You are not getting fat Hope. You’re carrying a baby. There’s a huge difference there.”

“Whatever, I can’t button my pants anymore. It’s disgusting. You’re going to find some skinny beautiful girl and forget all about me and I’ll be left to raise a baby on my own.”

His eyes flick up to meet mine and he’s no longer smiling. “Don’t you ever say any shit like that Hope. Why would you say that?” he says rather gruff.

“Because I turned you down and you’re going to realize you’re unhappy and unnecessarily tied down…”

“Sweetheart, just stop it ok? I’m not unhappy now and I’ll never be unhappy. Do you know what’s making me unhappy? This conversation.” He deadpans. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth and begins to pout. I have to roll my eyes to keep from immediately falling for this act that he knows I can’t resist.

“Put that pouty lip away mister. It is not going to work on me.”

“Does this work on you?” He leans in nibbling my ear lobe and I sigh letting the chills take over my body.

“You know that does, so stop it.” I playfully push him.

“I know, and I don’t want to stop.” He wiggles his eyebrows trying to work his charm.

“I’m ready for you to be better Wes, I hate feeling unsure about touching you. I’m scared to hurt you.”

“You not touching me is hurting me.” That pouty lap is back and I can’t resist him and he knows that.

His lips lightly brush against mine. His free hand rests against my stomach. My stomach flutters at his touch and my lips meet his fiercely. A moan escapes my lips as his body presses against mine. “I love you so much Hope, you and our little baby. Nothing on this earth could make me happier. There is nothing or no one on this planet that could take me away from you. If I wasn’t happy, you would be the first to know. I’m not that guy who will pull you along for the ride Hope. I thought you knew that.”

“I love you too Wes and I do know. Now make love to me.”

He grins wickedly as he begins to remove our clothes slowly piece by piece leaving me begging for more. This is my life, this is everything I want.

*********

“Rise and shine sleepyhead.” He whispers. I slowly open my eyes to find him smiling at me.

“Good morning babe.” I say with a yawn as I stretch out. My arms rise up out of the comforter that has kept me warm and snuggly all night. I’d rather stay in bed but we have a busy day ahead of us.

Today is full of appointments. Wesley has a check--up with his doctor to check his arm and I have an appointment with my obstetrician. Wesley is close to healing and I’m not sure I want to hear those words come from the doctor. The longer he’s injured, the longer I have with him.

“We have an hour before we need to leave, why don’t you come snuggle with me?” He asks giving me a wink.

Smiling, I lean in and kiss his lips letting mine linger for a moment. I hate to tell him no, but I’ve really got to get ready and I want to get a shower in. “Can I get a rain check Wes? I’ve got to shower and get ready.”

“Well, what a coincidence, I could use a shower too.”

“Really? Now? Guess I’ll see you in there then.” Quickly, I jump off the bed and run into the bathroom with him on my heels.

Before I can blink, he has me pressed against the wall and his lips are against mine. I moan as I lean into the kiss. I’m aching for his touch but I conceal it well. His lips move from my mine down to my neck as his free hand cups my breast from the outside of my shirt. I begin to step backwards slowly walking towards the walk-in shower. My left hand is around his neck for support while my right hand removes my shorts the best way I can. I hop on one foot until I manage to kick them off. His boxers end up in the same place. In the blink of an eye, my shirt is gone and I let out a sharp sigh as my back hits the cool tile of the shower wall. I turn the water on warm the best I can without being able to see and let him continue to shower me with kisses as the water runs over us. Every inch of my body is tingling, begging for him and every ache is filled when he grabs my legs and wraps them around his waist. In one swift movement, he slides into me sending me over the edge. I can’t hold my moans back as he slides in and out, I notice him wince in pain over his arm but he doesn’t stop. My world is rocked as I come and once my feet are back on the shower floor, it takes everything in me not to fall to the ground.

“Can I wash your hair?”

“You only have one good arm Wes, I can get it. Thank you though, that’s why I love you. You’re so thoughtful. I could wash you if you want.”

Before he can respond, I grab the loofah and squirt a heaping amount of body wash on it. We laugh and kiss as the water washes the soap off our bodies. Little moments like these are what I live for. They are what make my time with him so special. These moments make me eternally grateful I have him in my life.

********

I park my car at my obstetrician’s office ready to get this over with. I hate seeing how I’m slowly gaining weight. I know it’s the baby but I have this little fear of turning into a whale. We aren’t waiting long before the nurse calls me back.

The little room doesn’t scare me so much anymore. The nurse checks the heartbeat and measures my belly which is starting to grow little by little every day. I’m eleven weeks pregnant and can no longer button my own jeans.

Dr. Barnes comes in to talk to me briefly smiling as she sits in her chair. “Ms. Trahan, everything seems to be going as it should. How are you feeling?”

“I’m feeling good. I’m taking my vitamins every day.” I tell her proudly.

“Very good. We’ll see you in about a month and three weeks after that we should be able to see the sex of your baby if you’d like.”

My eyes light up at the thought. I haven’t given much thought of whether I’d like a boy or girl. I just want a healthy baby. “I’d love to see.” Wesley’s brow scrunches briefly like he’s thinking but smiles when he notices I’m staring at him.

“We definitely want to see.” He smiles taking my hand into his.

“Great! We’ll see you next month.” She stands and holds the door open for us. I stand at the receptionist’s desk watching her scribble a date and time on an appointment card. I thank her and place it into my purse.

Once we’re outside, I look at Wesley scared to even ask, “What was that face for in there?”

“Nothing sweetheart, I was just thinking.” He tries to play smooth and place a kiss on my lips. I return the kiss but I know he’s hiding something and I’m not feeling too good about it.

His doctor’s office is right up the road so that’s where we head next. A big part of me is dreading this appointment. I’ve dreaded all of his appointments actually because one of them is going to give me the news I don’t want to hear.

“I love you Hope.” He says breaking the silence.

I take my eyes off the road for a brief second to smile at him. “I love you too Wes. I’m trying. I want you to know that.”

“I’m not going anywhere sweetheart. I’m yours and you’re mine.”

Hearing him say it is one thing but whether or not it’s the truth is another. He says he’s not going anywhere but in the pit of my stomach I know, the minute he’s healed I’ve already lost him.

Chapter 29

Wesley sits in the room waiting for the doctor to come in. I’m standing, nerves have taken over me and if I were to sit I’d be constantly fidgeting. He looks like he’s in another world. The same look he had in my obstetrician office is back on his face. His phone buzzes and he pulls it out of his pocket briefly staring at the message before placing it back. The suspense is killing me, I want so badly to ask what is going on but all he does it tell me it’s nothing. I have this deep feeling tearing away inside me that he’s hiding something and I can’t stand to be lied to. Lies and deception tore my relationship with Brad apart and I refuse to go through that again.

The doctor walks in smiling, I quickly snap out of my thoughts to hear what is going on. “Mr. Tyler, how have you been doing? I’m assuming you are taking it easy right?”

“Yes sir. I’m doing great, just ready to get this cast off.”

“I understand. We’re going to do some x-rays today and check everything out. Hopefully all is well and we can get this off of you.”

I want to yell at the doctor and tell him he’s wrong, it’s too soon but I keep my mouth shut. Wesley’s mouth curves into a smile and I feel my heart slowly crushing. When he smiles at me, I fake the best smile I can to let him know I’m happy for him although I’m not.

Wesley is led to the x-ray room and I’m alone in this small room that feels like it’s closing in on me. My eyes glance over towards the chair he was just sitting in. His phone is lying there and I wonder if he realizes it fell out. Curiosity eats away at me as I stare at it. I trust him I do, but I can’t help but pick it up. As I hold the phone in my hands, I glance around the room although I’m the only one in here. I draw in a deep breath and hold it as the screen lights up. I tap his message button and begin to read. Tears start to form as I realize he’s been talking to his manager. I’ve never met his manager or even heard him talk about him, but his manager seems to know about me. There are messages asking Wesley to call him but his replies say he is with me and can’t discuss it. Why couldn’t he discuss this with me around? I feel betrayed, like he just plunged a knife into my back. Right now, I’m glad I never agreed to marry him. If I’d said yes, would he still have held back this from me? My breathing is all over the place, I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I need to get out of this room but my legs don’t have the strength to move.

I close out the screen and place the phone back where I found it. I keep trying to understand why he’s been hiding this from me when all along he’s been assuring me he’s going to be there for everything. He’s not, because he’s trying to leave.

I can hear his voice coming down the hall. Immediately I try to fix my face and as the door opens my jaw drops to the floor. I’m trying so hard to smile and make it look genuine. His cast is off and he’s holding both of his arms out to me. I smile for reasons other than what he thinks. He thinks I’m happy to see him healed when in reality I’m terrified because now our days together are numbered and he’s been too big of a coward to tell me about it.

“Sweetheart, everything is alright. Now I can carry you around, I’m all clear.” He flashes a toothy grin. His green eyes are sparkling, I miss that genuine sparkle but I hate the reason behind it.

“I’m really happy for you Wes.” I’m torn apart and I want to be out of this room and away from him. At least at the ranch, I can lock myself in the bathroom and take a few deep breaths.

“I just have to come back next week for a follow up but I’m good to go.” He’s still grinning like a little kid on Christmas day as he leads us out the room.

The ride back to the ranch is quiet. Awkwardly quiet. At least two different times, I almost bring up his phone but I didn’t want to argue right now. I’m too mentally exhausted for this. The first thing he does when we step out of the car is run around to my side and scoop me up in his arms. It feels like an eternity since he’s gotten to hold me and my body responds all too quickly betraying me. His lips crash against mine, kissing me feverishly. I moan into the kiss as his grip on me tightens. My emotions are running rampart, I don’t know what to feel right now.

“Are you ok Hope? You don’t seem yourself.” He asks concerned. I wish he wasn’t pretending to be so concerned about me especially since he’s been planning his return to the rodeo behind my back.

I wiggle my body until he sets my feet on the gravel. “I’m fine Wes, it’s probably just hormones. You should call your parents and give them the good news.”

“I will. I’m going to check on Bandit do you want to come with me?”

“I’ll just meet you inside, I’ve really got to pee.”

He plants a swift kiss on my forehead before walking off towards the fence where Bandit roams free. As soon as I step into the house, I go straight to the bathroom making sure to lock the door as soon as I’m inside. I pull my phone out of my pocket and text Amber.

Me: I don’t know what to do….

Amber: What do you mean?

Me: Can I call you?

Amber: Yeah girl

Amber answers immediately. “What’s going on Hope?”

My back rests against the bathroom wall and slowly I let myself sink to the floor. “I need to leave Amber, I can’t stay here.”

“Hope, we had this talk already, quit over thinking it.”

She doesn’t understand, of course she doesn’t so I have to explain myself but I have no idea how to tell her this without completely falling apart. “Amb, he’s been lying to me. I can’t stay here.”

“Have you talked to him about this?”

“No and I don’t want to. I just want to leave. He’s been acting funny and he got a text at the doctor’s office. He left his phone on the chair when he was having his x-rays done and I looked. He’s been texting a manager that I’ve never heard of planning his return. He completely blindsided me, he was just going to wake up one morning and fucking leave. I’m beating him to it.”

She’s silent for a moment and I’m fully alert listening for when he comes into the house. He can’t hear this conversation. “Hope, talk to him. You can’t take the easy way out and just leave. You’re having a baby with the guy ok, suck it up and talk to him about it. I know it scares you but this is something you can’t run from. He’s not Brad.”

“I didn’t say he was.” I scowl.

“You didn’t have to say it, I know that’s what you’re thinking so get it out of your mind and talk to him. If anything happens, you call me and I’ll be there in a heartbeat but you have to let him explain himself.”

I groan as I agree to talk to him. How is this conversation supposed to go? I throw my head back letting it hit the ocean colored wall as I contemplate this. Amber should’ve let me take the easy way out. The feeling in my gut tells me this could go south rather quickly.

“Hope, sweetheart where are you?” Wesley’s voice came from up the hallway. I scurry off the floor straightening myself before opening the door.

“Hey, how’s Bandit? Is he excited to see you better?”

“I think so. What about you?” he asks raising his eyebrow.

“Of course I am Wes. I love you so much, I’m just glad you’re ok.”

He pulls me in for a kiss letting his lips linger. The urge to strike the conversation up hits me, but I push it back. I give him a half smile as I ask, “What do you want to do for dinner? We should celebrate.”

“I just want to stay in with you. I plan on using both my hands on you all night long.” He whispers in my ear.

Chills run down my spine, my body once again betraying me. “Spaghetti it is then, cowboy.”

I pull away from his arms to begin preparing dinner. Once I have everything laid out on the counter I begin cooking the pasta and browning the meat. His eyes light up as the aroma hits him. I have to practically fight him off the food until it is ready. As soon as the garlic toast is finished, we both sit at the table to eat. I slowly pick at my food debating when to bring the conversation up. My mind races wondering what else he’s said to his manager. Did they talk while he was outside? Wesley helps me clean the dishes which I try to tell him he doesn’t have to.

Wesley corners me against the refrigerator placing his hands on both sides of me. The sight of him takes my breath away and I feel horrible knowing I’m going to ruin it all but I tell myself it’s not happening tonight. “I love you so much Hope. I’ve been waiting to hold you again.”

“I love you too Wes.” I say before his lips crash into mine.

He reaches down to grab me pulling me up to wrap my legs around him. In the blink of an eye, I’m lying on the bed with his body hovering over mine. Anticipation is killing me, I want him so badly. Wesley showers my neck with kisses before moving to my collar-bone. My shirt is still on but not for much longer. His lands right on top of mine and my hands immediately find his chest. My fingers trail each defined muscle and every time he quivers under my touch it feels electrifying. The ache between my legs begs to be satisfied. I reach around him pulling him closer to me. His arousal presses against my leg sending a pulsing vibe throughout my body. He takes his time rememorizing my entire body. He kisses from my lips then down every square inch of my body sending me into pure bliss. I help him remove his pants practically begging for him to be inside me. As he slides into me, I can’t help but scream out his name. He moans as he pumps in and out faster and faster each time. I’m panting, trying to catch my breath as I feel my toes curl. My eyes close as I feel my body release around him. Wesley collapses on top of me bringing his lips to mine. We share a slow sensual kiss that brings stars to my eyes. In his mind, I’m sure it’s his way of telling me he loves me but in my mind, I feel like it’s his apology because I’m sure he’s aware that I know he’s been hiding something.

Whatever the reason for the kiss, I don’t dwell on it too much. Right now, all I want to do is lie beside him and try to forget the few text messages that have imprinted themselves in my brain. This day has been more than I wanted it to be but it’s ended amazingly. Wesley smiles at me, pulling me closer into his arms. I can’t get enough of the feel of his arms and I hate that soon I’ll be back to just imagining them. I have to get this off my chest, so tomorrow I’m going to take a deep breath and tell him everything.

“I missed holding you so much. I’m not letting you go tonight I hope you know that.”

My eyes dart up to his, “You better not. I don’t plan on moving from this spot at all.”

“I don’t know if you’ll ever fully understand just how much you mean to me. I can never thank you enough for everything you have done for me Hope. I love you.”

Guilt rips through me. I feel like I’m getting ready to betray him and maybe I am, but he betrayed me first. “I love you too Wes.”