Spring Frost (8 page)

          We set off a few minutes later, our horses mounted and racing through the leafy forests of Autumn Springs. It was truly a beautiful place, I thought, as my mind struggled to take in its glorious lights and colors: orange, red, yellow leaves all shining like blazing flames around me. Each step the horses took resulted in another delicious crunch of fresh leaves underfoot. The air was perfumed – it smelled like nutmeg and cinnamon and burned oranges. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the breeze, all the while trying to avoid the suggestion – gnawing at the back of my mind – that this might be the last time I ever felt it whipping upon my face.

          Then it grew colder. As we left the perimeters of Autumn Springs and headed into Feyland proper, we began to catch sight of the snow banks – silvery and white – in the distance. I began to shake – at first it was only a small tremble, my hands fumbling with the horse’s reins. Snowflakes were gliding down onto my shoulders; the air was crisp with the scent of pine and fir. I tried to ignore the cold, tried to ignore the way my hands were turning blue, but it was to no avail. Soon I was shivering – several swift, sharp shivers that seemed to turn my spine into jelly.

          “Breena, what’s going on?” Kian looked up, worried.

          “It’s fine,” I responded. “Just keep riding, please. We need to get there faster…”      

          “Not if it’s harming your health!” Kian said. He immediately removed his fur coat, letting it fall to the snow. “You need to wear this,” he said, handing it to me and wrapping it around my shoulders. His touch made me shake even more violently. “I’m trying not to touch you,” he said, his voice trembling as much as my body. “I just want to comfort you so badly, to make this better…”

          Logan averted his eyes. I did not want to see the pain in his gaze, and so I looked away, too.

          “I can’t do this…” Kian sighed. “I can’t not touch you.”

          I wrapped the fur tighter around my shoulders. “The fur is warming me up,” I said. “I’m just getting used to the Winter Kingdom. It’ll be better soon; I’m sure of it.”

          “How can I be sure?” Kian’s eyes were like saucers.

          “We need to build a fire,” Rose said. “Take an hour’s rest. We’ve got four hours of riding until we get to the Kingdom – we’ll be there tonight, at least. But it’s more important that we don’t risk Breena’s health.”

          “No – we have to hurry…” I protested. The last thing I wanted was to slow down the others, especially when I was sure that nothing the others did would work: Clariss’ poison was a one-way ticket to the Dark Hordes, and no amount of fur or fire could fix that.

          “Nonsense,” said Rose. “Executive decision, we’re taking a rest.” She dismounted her steed. “Shasta and Rodney – you start building a fire. Kian, let’s go hunting for some dinner. Logan, you help Breena off her horse – Breena, don’t protest, there’s no way you can dismount in this state.”

          Logan nodded curtly and dismounted his own horse, coming over to my side. He put his hands around my waist. “Ready, Breena?” he turned to me with a small smile.

          I started. Something – a strange, warm sensation – had stirred within me. It felt like I had taken the potion again – only stronger. A feeling of red, powerful warmth stirring through me. His hands were like hot stones, warming my flesh. Immediately I stopped shaking, my body responding to his as he placed me gingerly down upon the ground.

          “What is it?” Kian turned to me. “Did something happen? Is he hurting you?”

          “No…” I looked up at Logan in confusion. “Not at all. The…opposite, actually.”

          “What do you mean?” Kian came over to us, looking Logan up and down.

          “It stops the cold,” I admitted sheepishly, not wanting Kian to see how red my face had gotten. He’d been jealous enough of Logan in the past – the last thing I wanted was to make things worse. “Something about Logan…it makes me warmer.”

          Kian looked perplexed. “How could that be?”

          “Perhaps it’s because he’s not a Fey,” Rose chimed in. “Or at least, not-really. He’s the closest to mortal – indeed, his blood is even warmer because of his Wolf side. Maybe he can warm Breena up while the rest of us are making her worse.”

          Kian considered. I could see the wheels of his mind turning – I could see him balance his jealousy of Logan with his need to keep me safe. I knew that even watching Logan’s arms around me was torture for him. But the sensation of Logan’s touch – hot, spirited, alive – was the only thing keeping the Freeze from getting worse.

          “In that case,” he said, “you should ride with the Queen, Logan. Keep her warm as best you can. Stay by her side. Do you need a fire, my darling? Or is Logan…preferable?”

          “I don’t think a fire would work,” I admitted. “At least, not as well as what Logan’s doing now. It’s a magic-thing…his magic’s interacting with mine.”    

          “Very well,” Kian said curtly, jumping upon his horse’s back anew.  “Then let’s ride on. There’s no use wasting time.” I could see how hurt he was, but I knew that there was nothing I could say.

          Logan and I mounted the same horse – my own – while Logan’s steed, ever-obedient, trotted behind.

          “Thanks for this, Logan…” I said, blushing slightly as he wrapped his arm around my waist.

          “Anytime, Breena,” Logan said, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes. “I know this isn’t easy for you. But whatever I can do to help, to keep you safe…I’ll do it. After all, I guess I owe you one.”

          We fell silent. With everything that had happened, we hadn’t talked much about the events on the mountain. Logan had been injured – I had offered to sacrifice my life, my immortality, for his recovery. A decision that I could tell, even now, struck Kian to the bone: Kian’s face told me that much. A decision that had led Kian, in a moment of anger, to cancel our wedding.

          Kian hadn’t meant it, I knew – but if Clariss hadn’t come, who knew what would have happened? My life, my marriage – all placed on hold because I couldn’t let Logan go.

          “Don’t mention it,” I said. “It’s what friends do for each other. We have a pact, you and I. We make sure that we
both
get out of these situations alive.”

          “I don’t want to get in your way, Breena,” said Logan. “If I’d made you unhappy – I’d never forgive myself.”

          “You could never make me unhappy, Logan,” I said. His touch was electric; it was only when in his arms that I realized how much pain I’d been in for the past twenty-four hours. Pain that had, at last, subsided. I felt like myself again. Warm. Safe.

          And in Logan’s arms.

          I caught sight of Kian looking at us, his face frozen in a frown. First I had offered to give my life for Logan, now it was Logan who was the only one able to save my life – while wrapping his arms around me, no less! And all the while Kian was watching me, aching for me, unable to touch me. I wanted to comfort him, to tell him that I loved him no less.        

          But his touch was dangerous, now.

          I sighed as we rode faster into the Winter Kingdom. Would our struggles ever be at an end?

Chapter 9

         
T
he ride back to the Winter Kingdom took longer than we had expected. There were no obstacles in our path, but somehow the stress had taken its toll on all of us, and we could see the first cresting of dawn on the horizon by the time the Winter Court came into view. I sighed as I caught a glimpse of its bright, gleaming spires. The stained glass window – an enormous, flower-shaped structure on the east end of the castle – gleamed with the rising sun, sending patterns of color onto the snow, dancing like rainbows. I gasped at the site. Its beauty cheered me, warmed my heart. My flesh, however, was another story. Logan’s touch had stopped the Freezing, at least temporarily, but I knew in my heart that it was no permanent solution.

          “It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Shasta breathed softly, looking all around her. “I mean, last time I was here…” Her voice trailed off and her expression tinged with sadness. “Last time I was here it was dark. There was so much destruction, so much death…now at least they have hope.
We
have hope.” She looked up at Rodney, who squeezed her hand and smiled at her, love in his eyes. “When we left here we didn’t know if the suns would ever shine again on Feyland – and now, look!” She made a motion towards the sky. “Two of them, shining more brightly than ever before.” She turned to me. “We’re all scared of this Sorceress, Breena. Me as much as anyone else. But at the same time…we can’t forget all the good we’ve done. The war between Winter and Summer is over. The suns are restored. Whatever happens, we’ll at least have succeeded in that.”

          “Sometimes it seems like the evil’s too great,” admitted Logan. “Like no matter how much we do, no matter how hard we fight – there’s always more to do. I don’t know if we’ll ever get to just…you know…rest.”

          Kian and I exchanged glances. We knew as much as anyone did how strong the desire for rest was. Only a few weeks ago I’d dreamed of marrying Kian, of making a life with him. I had agreed to be his bride. But now it seemed that our dream would be put on hold for the foreseeable future. I turned to Shasta and sighed. Surely the same was true for her and Rodney – more true, in fact, since she and Rodney had been together even longer. We were all waiting for the troubles to end – to go home to the people we loved. Me to Kian. Rodney to Shasta. Alistair to Rose. Logan drew in breath sharply and I turned back to him.

         
Poor Logan
, I thought. Even when all this was over, even when we defeated this Sorceress (
if
we defeated this sorceress – but I couldn’t dwell on that!), then he’d have nobody to go back to. Part of me wished that I could find someone out there for him, someone for Logan to love who could love him as fully and undividedly as I could not. But Logan’s loyalty made it impossible; I would have his heart no matter what. Even if I didn’t want it.

          Or did I want it? I couldn’t deny that the feeling of his arms around me made me tingle, ever so slightly. It was a comfortable, familiar feeling. But having him so close to me only made me more aware of what I could not give him, of what I could never give him. If I loved him at all, I knew – I would have to let him go. Let him find love somewhere else.

          Was it hard for him, I wondered? Being among all these couples. Granted, Rose and Alistair hadn’t exactly verbalized their attraction – although I was pretty sure that what I saw in Alistair’s eyes was nothing short of puppy love – but they definitely had some serious tension between them. And Logan remained so noble, so solemn and strong, even as I knew his heart was breaking inside. My heart ached for him, for his pain.
If only there was some way I could make it all go away.
But I knew deep down that the only way to make it okay in his heart was to succumb to his love: a choice I could never make.

          We made our way into the palace. There, we were greeted by Silverwing, a young attendant whom I recognized from our visit with the Winter Queen some months ago.

          “Greetings, your Highness,” said Silverwing, bowing to me and to Kian.

          “How has the palace been getting on in our absence?” asked Kian brusquely. “Are the lands recovering?”

          Silverwing smiled broadly. “Yes, your Highness. The day the suns returned to the sky there was a great day of feasting – for we knew that our King and Queen had saved us!”

          “Not just us,” I cut in. “Rose and Rodney and Shasta and Alistair and…Logan. They were all part of the effort.”

          “The crops began to grow anew,” Silverwing looked overjoyed. “And for three days and nights we celebrated. Winter and Summer together took to the fields to begin sowing new seeds and reaping fruit and vegetables that grew overnight – the magic of the earth restored.”