SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out of Water Junior Novel (9 page)

SHLURP!
Patrick licked a photo of a Krabby Patty. “Does anyone have a picture of ketchup?” he asked.

Sandy ran into the restaurant with a wild look in her eyes and announced, “I done FIGGERED it out!” All the starving customers turned and stared at her.

She jumped onto a table. “We have angered the sandwich gods! Only a SACRIFICE will appease them!”

“Well, that sounds reasonable,” commented one of the angry customers.

“Soon our post-apocawhatchamacallit will be over, and Krabby Patties will RAIN DOWN from above!”

Mr. Krabs frowned. “Rain down? Well, THAT's no
good. How will I get me money?”

A tough guy pointed at Mr. Krabs. “You don't like that idea? Then we'll sacrifice YOU!”

“No!” Mr. Krabs cried, drawing back. “You don't want a crusty old crab like me! How about Squidward?”

“We'll sacrifice HIM, too!” the tough guy said.

“Well, anything's better than working in this dump,” Squidward said.

The angry mob surged forward, grabbed Mr. Krabs and Squidward, and carried them out of the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs and Squidward screamed!

FLASH!

Suddenly, the time-traveling photo booth appeared out of thin air!

Astonished by the sight of the time machine, the mob dropped Mr. Krabs and Squidward. Then the crowd parted as SpongeBob and Plankton emerged from the photo booth.

“It's not a good idea to have a sacrifice on an empty stomach!” SpongeBob said. He held up the bottle he'd grabbed from the safe. “Who wants … a KRABBY PATTY?”

The starving crowd cheered! “HOORAY!” they shouted.

“SpongeBob!” Mr. Krabs cried. “Is that … ME FORMULER?” Overjoyed, he rushed to his loyal fry
cook. “Oh, happy day!”

Mr. Krabs grabbed the bottle and kissed it. “I missed you so much!” Then he asked SpongeBob, “Where was it? Where'd you find it?”

SpongeBob smiled modestly. “Well, Plankton and I built a time machine out of an old photo booth. And then we added …”

“CHEESE!” Patrick said, sitting in the booth, smiling for the camera.

“PATRICK, NO!” SpongeBob cried.

Too late.
VRROOM! WHIRR!
The time machine vanished in a flash!

Mr. Krabs addressed the crowd of hungry customers. “It's okay, everyone. The post-apocalypse is almost over! Ain't that right, SpongeBob?”

Mr. Krabs triumphantly reached into the bottle, pulled out the piece of paper inside, unrolled it, and started to read. “‘Eugene: Eat my subaquatic air bubbles. Love, Plankton.'” Mr. Krabs groaned.

Plankton wheeled on SpongeBob. “You grabbed the wrong bottle!”

“How was I supposed to know there were two bottles?” SpongeBob asked, shocked.

“Because there are ALWAYS two!” Plankton screamed. “The real one and the decoy!”

“I'm sorry, Mr. Krabs!” SpongeBob cried.

Mr. Krabs tossed the rude note from Plankton aside. “That's okay, SpongeBob. We'll just have to sacrifice the two of YOU!” He turned to the hostile mob. “Prepare them for the sacrifice!”

FLASH!
The time machine reappeared!

Patrick stepped out. “I bring a message from the dawn of time!”

“What is it, Patrick?” SpongeBob asked.

“RUN!” Patrick shouted.

He took his own good advice as a SQUIDWARDOSAURUS REX burst out of the time machine, destroying it!

“A Squidwardosaurus rex!” Squidward cried. “For a prehistoric monster, he's terribly handsome!”

The dinosaur stomped through what was left of the Krusty Krab. The angry mob fled. The beast tore the remains of the restaurant apart.

“Gee, that's exactly what I'VE always wanted to do,” Squidward said admiringly.

Still mad about bringing back the wrong bottle, Plankton glared at SpongeBob and growled, “NOW what do we do?”

“Well, Plankton, I guess we failed to accomplish our goals.”

“WE?”

“But even failure hurts a little less when you do it as
a team. Right?”

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Plankton yelled.

“Ooooooooh,” the crowd said. Even the Squidwardosaurus rex stopped its rampage to watch the fight between Plankton and SpongeBob.

“My fault?” SpongeBob asked.

“YOU'RE the one who stole the wrong secret formula!” Plankton said accusingly.

“I didn't know there were two bottles!”

“OF COURSE YOU DIDN'T! BECAUSE YOU HAVE COTTON CANDY FOR BRAINS!”

“Ooooooooh,” the crowd said again.

Plankton turned to them. “No, seriously. He really does.”

“Well, we wouldn't even be in this mess in the first place if you weren't so selfish and evil!” said SpongeBob.

“Wrong! I WAS selfish and evil until you ruined everything with your teamwork.”

SpongeBob gasped.

“You are the WORST TEAMMATE EVER!” Plankton ranted. “I wish I'd never sung that stupid song with you!”

“You take that back!”

“Come on! Let's sing it again!” Plankton said sarcastically. He started singing, “TEAM JERKS! TEAM JERKS! TEAM JERKS!”

“Stop it!” SpongeBob cried.

But Plankton just kept singing. “TEAM JERKS! TEAM JERKS! TEAM JERKS!”

“STOP!” SpongeBob screamed, kicking over a trash can.

“OOOOOH!” the crowd said for the third time.

SpongeBob grabbed a recycling bin, dumped it, and mixed up everything on the floor.

“Oh, my Neptune!” said one shocked citizen. “He's mixing garbage and recycling!”

Panting and gasping, SpongeBob noticed everyone staring at him. He looked at himself. “Look at me! Why, I've become like all of you—savage, fear-ridden, and selfish!”

The angry customers looked at each other, feeling ashamed.

“An entire town full of formerly good citizens, turned into heartless freaks!” SpongeBob went on. “Bent on their own self-prever … uh, prehver …”

“Preservation?” suggested one member of the mob.

“YES!” SpongeBob said. “We've become alienated from each other, each one an island unto himself, concerned only with ourselves. And in the name of all fishhood, I am NOT about to let that continue!”

SpongeBob tore a piece of cloth off a handy fish's clothing and tied it around his head like a bandana.
“And so if a sacrifice is needed to restore Bikini Bottom to its former glory, then I am willing to take one for the TEAM!”

Tears filled the eyes of all the citizens.

“You heard him,” Squidward said.

The angry mob grabbed SpongeBob, lifted him over their heads, and carried him off!

T
he crowd of angry customers chained SpongeBob to an altar shaped like a burger. “Sacrifice! Sacrifice! Sacrifice!” chanted the mob. Squidward put on a black executioner's hood and pulled on a rope, lifting a huge stone bun over SpongeBob. He tied the rope to hold the gigantic bun in place.

“Let the sacrifice begin!” announced Mr. Krabs.

The mob cheered! “And I thought MY friends were primitive,” observed the Squidwardosaurus rex.

SpongeBob began to sniff. “Don't cry, me boy,” Mr. Krabs said. “Everything's gonna be fine! For us, that is.”

“I'm not crying, Mr. Krabs,” SpongeBob said, sniffing some more. “I smell Krabby Patties!”

“That's right,” Mr. Krabs said gently. “Keep thinking happy thoughts.” He turned to Squidward and shouted, “NOW!”

Squidward swung an ax and cut the rope. The heavy
stone bun fell! SpongeBob braced himself, waiting to be squished …

… but nothing happened!

Mr. Krabs had jumped onto the altar and caught the stone bun! “The boy's right!” he announced. “I smell 'em, too! Someone somewhere is cookin' up one o' me original-formuler, world-famous Krabby Patties!”

With a loud grunt, Mr. Krabs tossed the big stone bun aside. Then he ripped off the leather clothes he'd been wearing ever since chaos had engulfed Bikini Bottom. “Okay, SpongeBob—go get it!”

“Wait,” Squidward said. “You mean we can just take these uncomfortable clothes OFF?” He ripped off his leather clothes, too.

“Go find the Krabby Patty!” Mr. Krabs said to SpongeBob. “Come on, boy!”

SpongeBob followed the scent. “Let's go, everybody!” he said. “I've got some Krabby Patty orders to fill!”

Sniffing the air, he took off across the ocean floor. Mr. Krabs, Sandy, Patrick, Squidward, and the mob followed him.

“It's coming from over there!” SpongeBob cried as he led everyone up a hill.

But when they had almost reached the top of the
hill, they all realized that SpongeBob was leading them up to the surface. The mob groaned. Sure, they wanted delicious Krabby Patties, but as sea creatures, they couldn't leave the water.

“All right,” the leader of the angry mob said. “All secondary characters, come with me.”

“Yeah,” Squidward agreed. “I'm with you guys.” He started to leave with the crowd, but Mr. Krabs stopped him.

“No way, Squidward. You're going up there with us.”

“My feet hurt,” Patrick complained.

“Patrick, you don't HAVE feet,” SpongeBob pointed out.

Patrick gasped. “It's not fair! Sandy has feet! Squidward has feet!”

“Actually, I have FOUR feet,” Squidward said.

Patrick sat down with a grunt. SpongeBob walked up to him and put his hand on his shoulder. “Patrick, it's not about feet.”

“What IS this about, then?” Squidward asked.

“It's about being a TEAM and sticking together no matter WHAT!” SpongeBob said. As he was speaking, trying to inspire the others, no one saw Plankton hide inside SpongeBob's sock.

Squidward raised his arms in disbelief. “The only way we're going up there is if some sort of fairy godmother
shows up and helps us breathe air!”

The words were scarcely out of Squidward's mouth when …
FLASH!
Bubbles the dolphin appeared in a flash of bright light! He floated right in front of them.

“Bubbles?” SpongeBob asked.

“You KNOW this guy?” Squidward asked in disbelief.

“Please don't hurt us, Bubbles,” SpongeBob pleaded. “We're sorry we got you fired!”

“HURT you?” Bubbles exclaimed. “I've traveled back through time to THANK you. I'd been stuck in that job for eons. I needed a change, but I was too afraid to go for it.”

SpongeBob grinned. “Glad we could help!”

Bubbles said, “And now it is MY turn to help. I can get you safely to the surface. Quick, all of you—jump into my mouth!” He opened his mouth wide.

“Come on, guys!” SpongeBob said enthusiastically. “Let's go!” He hurried into Bubbles's mouth.

But the other four hesitated.

Squidward said, “There's NO WAY I'm climbing into some dolphin's mouth!”

“Yeah, this guy just wants a free lunch!” Mr. Krabs agreed.

From inside the dolphin's mouth, SpongeBob pleaded with his friends. “Guys, if Bubbles has the courage to quit
his dead-end, nowhere job and travel back through time to help us, then WE need to have the courage to—”

But before SpongeBob could finish his stirring speech, Bubbles swallowed the four of them all at once.

Inside Bubbles's head, the five friends were jammed together. “I never thought I'd be eaten by a dolphin!” Mr. Krabs groaned.

“No, if he was EATING us,” SpongeBob corrected him, “he'd be chewing us up and we'd be going down there!” He pointed down the dolphin's throat. “THIS is what you call riding in style!”

“Not a lot of legroom in here,” Squidward complained.

“Well, maybe if you didn't have FOUR feet,” Patrick said.

Without anyone noticing, Plankton peeked out of SpongeBob's sock. “Note to self,” he muttered quietly. “Never stow away in a gym sock.”

Above them, Bubbles's blowhole opened wide. The chamber began to shake. “What's happening?” Patrick cried. “I feel tingly!”

Bubbles leapt out of the ocean. Then he blew the five friends out of his blowhole in a magical beam of energy!

“YAAAAAHHHH!” they screamed as they flew through the air.