Spirit of the Wolves (40 page)

I wouldn't do it. There was no way I'd leave, not after everything I'd done. I was the one who had brought the wolves and humans together. I had faced Greatwolves who were ready to kill me and brought them to a world between life and death. I had let packmates die.

I met Gaanin's eyes and saw the challenge in them. He had lost packmates to the Promise, too.

“Tell me, Kaala, will you be like the others?” he asked. “Like the ancient Greatwolves who shirked their responsibility? Like Milsindra, grasping for power and her own gain? Because if so, you are no pup of mine. I will take my pack and leave.”

The Greatwolves had failed and failed again because of their pride and selfishness. The streckwolves had come closest to succeeding because they were unselfish and willing to do anything to gain the humans' trust. Whitefur and Short Tail had assumed that their only task in the world was to give humans love, and the humans on the grassless plain had been happier than any I'd ever seen.

I had known. I knew that the streckwolves were better for the humans than we were the first time Tlitoo showed them to me. When I saw them in the Inejalun and on the grassless plain my fury had been born of envy. The streckwolves
seemed to change the humans into a different kind of creature. Less wary and more open to love. I had known that it had to be them.

Prannan and Amma had died for the Promise. So had many others. If I refused to let the streckwolves have the humans, knowing they were more likely to succeed than I, then I was no better than a Greatwolf. And if I had to choose between being like Milsindra or like the little not-wolves, I would rather be a streckwolf.

I remembered the vow I'd made to the Shadow Wolf. He had known I would come to such a choice.

“We'll take our humans somewhere far away,” I said at last, my throat tight with regret. At least we could keep our humans with us.

Ázzuen was watching Gaanin with narrowed eyes.

“You still need us,” he said, speaking quickly as he did when he was figuring something out. “The Sentinels were right about that. We have to preserve the wild so that when humans realize they need it, it will be there for them.”

Gaanin dipped his head. “Yes. The Greatwolves' time is done. You and your children must keep the wildness of the wolf. If after accepting us the humans can stop killing your kind and other creatures of the wild, there is hope. But there must be those left who remember the Promise. You must help with another task, as well.” He looked at TaLi where she squatted next to BreLan. “The other krianans are dead,” Gaanin said. “As the wolves must keep wildness in trust for the humans, your girl must keep the knowledge of it for future krianans. She must pass along the understanding of the importance of the wild to her children, and their children's
children. Wherever you take her, you must make sure she does so.”

That made me remember DavRian's lies about TaLi and RalZun.

“Did you go to Laan?” I asked, beginning to shake from fatigue. I had been standing for too long. “Do they believe DavRian about our krianans? Are TaLi and BreLan safe staying nearby?”

“They are not,” a female streckwolf said. “I heard the humans of Laan say that the old krianans are as dangerous as wolves. They will kill your girl and her mate if they find them.”

We were only hundreds of wolflengths from Laan, and TaLi and BreLan intended to go there.

Tlitoo krawked in alarm. “You should have told us that first, dimwolves!” he screeched to Gaanin. “There are several Laan humans coming our way, wolf,” he said to me. “I saw them. They will find your humans.”

Which meant I had to get TaLi away quickly. And I had no way to communicate with her, no way to ensure she would not walk into her death. Or did I? She had come, in that one moment, to the Inejalun, and she had spoken to me. She had understood me.

I staggered to TaLi. “Take us!” I gasped to Tlitoo.

He didn't ask me where, just quorked at me in concern. Ázzuen looked back and forth between us.

“I told you it is not safe, wolf. You are still weary. You have been to the Inejalun too many times.”

“There's no choice!” I said, beginning to panic. “She has to know before the Laan humans find them.” I was disoriented
and shaking from exhaustion after taking the Sentinels to the Inejalun, but it was my fault, not TaLi's, that the Sentinels had killed the strecks on the grassless plain and made Gaanin threaten to go into hiding. It wasn't her fault I'd been too long in the Inejalun. I would not fulfill the Promise only to have her die.

“All right, wolf,” Tlitoo said. “But we must go quickly.”

I sat next to TaLi on the ground and whined to get her attention. She crouched down and put her arms around me.

“What's wrong, Kaala?” she asked.

For just a moment, I allowed myself to sit next to her, letting her scent fill me and the warmth of her skin next to my fur comfort me. She had grown in the last moon, her long limbs and straight angles beginning to soften into the curves of womanhood. She and BreLan could mate soon. They could have pups not long after I would have mine if Ázzuen and I decided to mate this year. The thought of raising our pups together made me happy, though TaLi's young would grow much more slowly than mine. They would still be pups when I was long dead. I shook off my thoughts and looked up to Tlitoo.

“It has to be now,” I said. “Are you able?”

He picked up a twig and tossed it in the air.

“I am fine. It is you who must be careful.” He hopped down.

“Guard us?” I said to Ázzuen.

“Of course,” he said. I touched my nose to his muzzle and settled my aching muscles as the streckwolves watched us curiously. Tlitoo pushed in between me and the girl.

The cold was more intense than it had ever been before.
At first Tlitoo and I were alone in the Inejalun. Tlitoo blinked rapidly at me.

“Wait, wolf,” he said. “I am not sure how to bring her here.”

He disappeared and I was alone. The cold increased so much I thought I would break into pieces. Then he was back.

I didn't see it happen, but a moment later, TaLi was sitting on one of the rocks.

“Silvermoon,” she said. “Kaala.”

I walked over to her, and touched my icy nose to her skin.

“TaLi,” I said, and she smiled. She looked exactly the same as she did in the world of the living. “You're here.”

“I thought I imagined it,” she said. Her grin grew. “You sound just like I thought you would. I talked to the wolves before,” she said, “when I was small. To Jandru and Frandra.”

“I know,” I said. “NiaLi told me.” I licked her face. Just as the Inejalun had no scent, it also had no flavor. I tried again. I didn't like not being able to taste her. I couldn't wait to get back to the world of life so that I could savor her scent of herbs and smoke, and lick her warm, salty skin.

“The first time you did that,” she said, “I thought you were going to eat me.”

“You were my pack from that day,” I said. “You're always my pack.” For some reason it was important for me to tell her that. I couldn't believe I could actually talk to her. I wished I could stay there forever. I wished I could tell her everything I'd never been able to communicate. But there was no time. I couldn't feel my legs at all, and my muzzle was beginning to freeze.

“The little wolves,” I said, “the strange ones. They're going to stay with the humans instead of us.” As quickly as I
could, I told her what we had learned about the streckwolves and the humans, about how the not-quite-wolves would help the humans keep the Balance, and how they would remind them to protect that which was wild.

“That which is loved but not feared,” she said. She was just as clever as Ázzuen.

“I can't stay here long in this place,” I said. “You can't either.” She was already shivering. I wanted to curl up against her, but that would only have made her colder.

“And you can't go to Laan. DavRian is telling everyone that you're the reason Kaar burned. They'll kill you. There are Laan humans coming now. You and BreLan have to come with us to escape them, right now. Then you have to find other krianans, or teach more. You have to tell them to keep the stories of the wild.”

“Will you help me?” she asked.

I licked her hand in answer. Of course I would. I started to tell her I loved her and that she was the best thing that had happened to me, but the words didn't seem sufficient. I'd thought that not having words was what kept us from understanding each other. But, now, all I wanted to do was to press up against her as I would in the world of life.

“It is time to go, wolflet,” Tlitoo quorked. He hopped over TaLi. A moment later, the girl was gone.

My chest had grown so cold that I couldn't breathe. Panicked, I tried to whimper for Tlitoo to come for me, but nothing came out. For one terrifying moment, I couldn't feel my heart beating, and the pressure behind my eyes was so great I thought my skull would break open. Then the heat of the summer sun flowed through me. My chest warmed. My muzzle
thawed and my throat loosened. The Inejalun was flooded with scent. Tlitoo returned. I thought he would take me back to TaLi, but he just blinked at me.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked.

“I am sorry, wolflet,” he said, lowering his head between hunched wings.

“It's all right,” I said. “Just take me back.”

“I cannot, wolf. We waited too long. You spent too much time here before. Look.” He peered down.

I followed his gaze. The Stone Circle dropped off abruptly and, below us, TaLi, BreLan, Ázzuen, and all of the streckwolves surrounded something. It was a dead wolf, a young one, with the mark of the crescent moon on her chest. That was what Tlitoo meant. We had waited too long. I could not go back. I could never go back.

Ázzuen howled, a hollow, dismal sound, and TaLi crouched at the youngwolf's side. I could see, just beyond the trees, the villagers of Laan approaching. DavRian was with them, as was IniMin. I barked a warning.

“They cannot hear you, wolf.” He disappeared from my side again. Below me, in the woods, a raven landed on Ázzuen's back, pulling hard on his fur. Ázzuen looked toward the woods. He tugged on TaLi's tunic. The girl looked up, her face contorted with weeping, and spoke to BreLan, pointing in the direction of Laan.

BreLan bent down and picked up the limp form of the young wolf. I was glad he didn't leave me there. They moved quickly away from Laan as the streckwolves ran to greet the approaching humans. Gaanin looked back at BreLan carrying me in his arms and shook himself once before following the others.

BreLan set me down by a shady stream in a part of the woods the fire had not touched. They stayed with me until the sun set and the moon rose in the night. Then BreLan took TaLi by the arm and led her away. Ázzuen buried his nose deep in my fur, then walked slowly after his human. I yearned to walk beside them. This time, I could not do so.

After the moon set, I left a scent mark on the largest rock in the Inejalun so that Ázzuen might find me when it came time for him to leave the world of life. I wanted to feel his fur against mine and TaLi's warm, damp skin against my nose. I wanted to smell the smoky, rich scent of the humans, and lie with them by their fires. My heart ached. I could not be with TaLi or Ázzuen, but they would live and carry on the Promise, and I would help them do so in any way the land of the spirits would let me. I watched what was left of my pack a little longer: one wolf, a raven, and two humans, making their way to the distant hills.

TaLi would do her part, and the wild wolves theirs. The streckwolves would do their best with the humans.

They might fail just as I had. The streckwolves could not force the humans to accept them, nor compel them to embrace the wildness that was so much more a part of them than their clever tools. All the streckwolves could do was to give the humans a chance. They could give humans the opportunity to love something they did not fear. What happened after that would be up to them.

The humans marched purposefully through the woods. Tails lowered and ears folded over, the little wolves walked beside them.

I
t got warm.

It got so warm, the legends say, that the ice at the top and bottom of the world melted, and the great bears that lived upon it swam the endless waters looking for a place to rest, until their strong legs failed them and they sank to the bottom of the sea. The forests turned to desert and the creatures that depended on streams and rivers lapped at the dry ground until they could move no more. The oceans rose, swamping those who lived at the water's edge, and great storms raged across the land.

On a hot summer day, not long after the last of the forests burned, a young boy threw a red rubber ball. He sweated in the heat but did not stop his game. The creature at his feet would not allow him to stop. It panted up at him, tongue lolling, begging for one more throw, one more moment of play.

Off in the distance, a mournful howl arose. Once, the boy's mother had told him, wolves roamed everywhere. Then,
like the bison and the tigers, they were hunted nearly to extinction. It was said that only a few were left. The boy threw his ball again and his companion brought it back, tail awag. The boy thought that he did not want to live in a world without howls. He looked toward the barren hills and the howl rose again. The creature at his feet whuffed softly in response.

The boy looked down into brown eyes filled with love and smiled. When the distant wolf howled again, he threw back his head and answered.

The strength of this wolf is most definitely her pack, and this book would not have been written without a packful of remarkable people. I don't have the words to express how grateful I am to my wonderful family and friends. I was lucky enough to hit the family jackpot and to have the infinite support of my father, brother, and sister. Their wisdom and encouragement helped bring
Spirit of the Wolves
into being. My mother was my first writing buddy, and her influence is on every page, including the story of Kaala's involuntary bath. Thank you to Shannon McClenaghan and Carl Shapiro. It's wonderful to have you in my life. A deep and heartfelt thank you to my other family—my dear friends who are as loving and loyal as any wolf pack. I would never have been able to do it without all of you.