Spirit of the Wolf (18 page)

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Authors: Vonna Harper

Tags: #Man-Woman Relationships, #Ranchers, #Paranormal, #General, #Romance, #Erotic Fiction, #Erotica, #Fiction, #Love Stories

BOOK: Spirit of the Wolf
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“What about his belongings?”
“His personal stuff was gone. Matt said Kaga loved to read, but there weren’t any books left behind.”
“Where did he go?”
Addie’s mouth lifted, but it wasn’t a smile. “The police didn’t know, but Matt told me he’d set up a camp. He took Matt out there a few times. From Matt’s description, the camp was pretty disorganized, with rotting food and piles of dirty clothes. I’ve concluded that Kaga reverted to traditional Native American ways in some respects. He lived off the land, tracked and hunted. Prayed to the spirits and went on spirit quests.”
This was all too much! The thought of a boy trying to comprehend what was happening to his only parent made her want to cry.
“Information overload?” Addie laid her hand on Cat’s shoulder.
“Yes. So, ah, how did Matt wind up living with you?” That, hopefully, would be easier to deal with than Matt’s chaotic childhood.
Leaving the railing, Addie sat down again. She looked older than she had a few minutes ago, but then the conversation had taken its toll on Cat as well.
“Those damnable grandparents, those so-called relatives, decided Kaga wasn’t the only one with the devil in him. After his body was found, they no longer wanted Matt under their roof. They called all of their relatives who still spoke to them and told them they’d give Matt to them if anyone wanted him. Whoever it was had two days to come and get him. Otherwise they were going to take him to the freeway and leave him there.”
Because she didn’t trust her legs to support her, Cat sank back into the chair next to Addie.
“That’s where my father came in. He called me—I’d heard about the crazy relatives, of course—and asked if Santo and I wanted a son.”
A son. Not just an abandoned child to feed.
“Of course we said yes.” Addie pressed her hands to her stomach.
Blinking at the tears that wouldn’t stop, Cat covered Addie’s hand with her own. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“For being such a good person. For being what Matt needed.”
Addie squeezed back. Seconds passed as the women stared at each other. “What are you thinking?” Cat finally asked.
“I’m trying to decide if you’re who Matt needs now. Something’s bothering him. It’s more than concerns about what happened to Beale and having the damned wolves bothering the cattle. Okay, okay.” She shook her head. “I didn’t mean to curse. They are what they are—predators.”
And more.
“I just wish they’d go away,” Addie continued. “Maybe that’d take the pressure off him, although I’m not sure—”
“I’ve been doing some research,” Cat interrupted, because she didn’t want to hear what Addie might say next. “Several ways of coexisting with wolves have been implemented in places like Montana’s Blackfoot River watershed area. Ranchers there are placing electric fences around calving lots. Stringing bright flags onto pasture fencing seems to be working, and volunteer horsemen keep an eye on the wolves and let ranchers know if they get near their herds.”
“I wonder if that might work here?”
“It’s worth a try, if we can get ranchers to listen.”
And if Ghost Wolf isn’t part of the mix.
“I’d like you to talk to Matt about this.” Addie pulled free. “Others will listen to him. At least they would before . . . Whatever’s wrong with him, I’d be willing to bet it isn’t sexual frustration, right?”
Cat dropped her gaze. “I don’t think so.”
Addie laughed. “Honey, I may be an old woman, but I’m not dead. But my man is. I know what it feels like not to be getting any.”
The sound of an approaching vehicle stopped whatever Cat might have said. So far, it was only a distant hum, but no way could she get herself to relax. “On that note,” she muttered, getting to her feet, “I need to leave. I’ve been putting off my riding students lately.”
“Why?”
The easy thing would be to keep her back to Addie while she headed for her truck, but Addie had revealed too much about Matt for her to take that way out.
“You aren’t the only one who’s worried about him.”
“My guess is, you’re seeing changes I’m not and I’m seeing a lot.”
You have no idea.
“Yes.”
Addie cocked her head. “Guess I was wrong about him being gone. Are you going to stay or leave?”
“Leave.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Addie said as she stood and walked over to Cat. She held out her arms. “I need a hug.”
“So do I.”
18
 
N
ot again. Not so soon.
No matter how many times Matt ordered himself to relax his grip on the steering wheel, he kept forgetting, or rather the truth was his thoughts insisted on returning to what had awaited him when he’d reached the fencing near the north-side seasonal creek. Just yesterday, a group of some twenty cattle had been in the area, but he’d seen no sign of the well-fed cows and calves. Range cattle were always on the move, but they just didn’t pack up and leave grassland unless something herded or chased them away.
The wolves.
The moment he’d gotten out of his truck, he’d known he was being watched. The Cat-thoughts and Cat-memories that had settled under his skin disappeared. As his father had done when he’d lived off the land, he’d gone into survival mode. Reaching into the cab for his rifle, he’d reassured himself that the bullets he’d loaded long ago were still there.
“What do you want from me?” he’d asked.
The words were barely out of his mouth when several wolves appeared. At first they were far enough away that he hadn’t been sure how many there were, but thanks to their easy lope, he’d soon counted four. While he’d reached behind him to assure himself that the driver’s door was open, they came within a hundred feet.
Instead of crowding his space or taking off when he hollered at him, the pack had stopped and studied him while a brisk wind ruffled their thick fur. He’d seen enough cougars and coyotes to know how predators looked when they were hunting. The pack wasn’t.
“What do you want from me?” he’d repeated. He’d been mildly surprised when they didn’t reply.
Then the wolves had swung their heads to the right and bared their teeth.
Shit,
he’d thought.
Shit.
Ghost Wolf. Suddenly there, standing above him and the pack, his fur untouched by the breeze.
“They don’t want you here.” He’d nodded at the now-growling pack. “They don’t accept you.”
They have no choice.
That’s when Matt, who couldn’t remember when he’d last run from anything, had jumped into his truck and peeled away, tearing the dirt track as he did.
By the time the ranch house came into view, he’d calmed enough that he’d half convinced himself he’d imagined that Ghost Wolf had spoken. He’d tell Addie he’d changed his mind about fence mending and had returned for a horse so hopefully he could find the missing cattle. She wouldn’t question his decision, which meant he wouldn’t have to tell her the truth—a truth he wasn’t sure he could voice.
Another truck was coming toward him on the narrow private road leading to the ranch. Lost in thoughts that kept crashing into each other, at first he paid scant attention to the vehicle. Then everything fell together.
Cat.
What had she been doing here, and was she leaving to avoid him?
Of course she was.
Fine with him. Other than an apology he’d have to rip out of his gut, he didn’t have anything to say to her and couldn’t comprehend that she’d want to speak to him. Why, then, was he pulling over to the side and stepping on the brakes?
She came alongside, started to slide past him, then stopped. “I didn’t think I’d see you,” she said out her open window.
“Otherwise you wouldn’t have come, right?”
“Right.”
The sun slammed against her features, so he could barely make them out—either that or he was incapable of concentrating.
“You were talking to Addie about me.”
“Yes. What are you doing back so soon?”
Don’t say a damn word.
“I saw them.
Him
.”
Cat’s head had been back a bit as if in defiance. With his admission, her body snapped to attention and then sagged. “What happened?”
Having expected her to ask who or what he was talking about, he hesitated. The top she was wearing today had a scoop neckline, modest by all accounts, or it would have been if his truck wasn’t higher than hers and he couldn’t catch glimpses of the breasts he no longer had any right to.
“Nothing,” he lied. “I’m thinking the pack scared off my cows.”
“You didn’t see a carcass?”
“Or buzzards.”
Maybe that satisfied her because she nodded. He’d give anything to read her expression, or would he? “You said
him.
Ghost Wolf you mean.”
Strange. They could barely talk to each other anymore and yet they’d effortlessly agreed on what to call the massive predator.
“Yeah.”
“Damn. Matt, did you feel as if you were in danger?”
“No.” He wasn’t sure about that.
Cat stroked the steering wheel. “Look,” she said, “I have to go.”
Go.
“When will I see you again?”
“I don’t know. After . . . what happened, I need my space.”
And I don’t trust myself around you.
Unable to think of anything to say, he faced forward. Only then did he realize he’d placed his truck in park—because he’d hoped she’d want to talk to him after all? Turned out he was wrong.
Just as he’d been wrong to think Ghost Wolf had tried to communicate with him.
Can’t we start over, Cat? Go back to what we had. The rutting, our bodies winding together until I can’t tell where I leave off and you start. Losing myself in your pussy, trusting my cock to you.
 
Cat would never understand the man. Of course, she’d never understand the whole thing with the wolves either. Maybe the two were connected.
What did she mean, maybe?
At least Matt’s eyes hadn’t looked as dark and wild today as they had earlier, but that might have changed the moment he touched her.
Same with her, she acknowledged as gently rolling Coyote Ranch grassland stretched out around her. Despite her resolution not to think carnal thoughts, Matt’s voice had set off small fireworks inside her. If his voice was capable of knocking her off her emotional pedestal, she could only guess how she’d react to his knuckles running over her cheek and down the side of her neck.
What did she mean, guess? She knew. There was no denying that she kept tightening her buttocks muscles and pressing her thighs together even with her foot hovering over the gas pedal as she rolled along.
Matt had seen both a wolf pack and Ghost Wolf earlier today. That’s what she needed to think about.
Damn it, she should have encouraged him to talk about it. After all, who else did he have to share the experience with?
Maybe she should turn around. Her foot drifted from gas to brake. Even as she told herself she needed to think about this some more before she did anything, she stopped the vehicle. Leaning her forearms on the steering wheel, she rested her forehead on the backs of her hands.
Matt had gone through hell while growing up. He’d probably been too young to understand what was happening to his father as Kaga fell apart, but even worse, he hadn’t had anyone to turn to. Just as Kaga hadn’t received any mental help, neither had his son.
The son who might have seen his father take his life.
Damn it, what was wrong with her? This wasn’t about her; only Matt’s emotional well-being mattered.
That and the wolves.
Groaning, she lifted her head. It didn’t matter that Matt was nowhere around. She still needed to talk to him, and if her voice drifted out the open window and found its way to his ears, so be it.
“Matt, this is like being in a storm, a furious whiteout. We’re both caught in it, you more than me. Things we can’t comprehend have happened. You seeing Ghost Wolf today might not be the end of it. Hell, I know it isn’t.” Shaken, she sucked in hot air that did nothing to calm her.
“Maybe you’re asking yourself if what happened to your father is happening to you. You’re scared; you have to be. Could be you’re thinking that this . . . this thing with the wolves is part of the insanity that—No, you aren’t insane!”
Wasn’t he?
an insistent voice asked, but she shook it off. Matt coming at her like some bull elk during rut wasn’t the same as Kaga going on weird spirit searches and killing himself.
She
had
to calm down. Otherwise, she’d never be able to decide what she needed to do. One breath at a time, emptying her mind so hopefully logic and a plan of action could take form. She’d study the peaceful surroundings and think of the cycle of life here that began with calving season. Matt had helped countless four-legged babies into the world and breathed life into some of them. He was a good man, loving and sexy.
Sexy.
Sensation rippled between her shoulder blades and raced down her spine. Damn it, didn’t she have any defense against Matt’s impact on her? Wishing she had some cold water to throw in her face, she bemoaned the lack of AC in her truck. At least there’d be more of a breeze once she started moving again.
Cat reached for the gearshift but didn’t complete the movement. There’d been nothing in the grassland, not even a bird from what she’d been able to tell. Yet there
he
was, standing close enough that she could see into his dark eyes, his large head held high, his back straight, and his stance ready for action.
Get the hell away from me,
she wanted to command Ghost Wolf, but her throat refused to form the words. God, but he was beautiful! Frightening and mesmerizing at the same time. Logic said there was no way he could have gotten from where Matt had seen him to here in that amount of time, but maybe logic had nothing to do with it.
She could handle studying Ghost Wolf from a distance of maybe a hundred feet by refusing to ponder how he’d gotten so close without her seeing him approach. Then he started walking toward her, and she screamed.
He looked as if he were stalking her with his head lowered and nose twitching in reaction to the smell of her fear. There was a slow-motion quality to his steps. Maybe this was his way of telling her he had all the time in the world to do what he wanted to her.
Lifting his head, he howled.
Another scream tore at Cat’s throat. Gripping the shifter with numb fingers, she yanked down. Mindless to the possibility of damage to the truck’s suspension system, she punched the gas. Holding on to the steering wheel with one hand, she tried to fish her cell phone out of her front pocket. Her unfeeling fingers closed around it only to lose control. The phone clattered to the passenger’s side floor.
No calling Matt. Nothing but getting away.
 
To Matt’s relief, Addie didn’t say much about the time she’d spent with Cat, because he wasn’t sure he’d be able to respond. Citing concern for the missing herd, he’d saddled a horse and taken off but not before grabbing extra bullets and his binoculars. He’d debated having one of his hands join him, but this was something he had to do himself. The danger was his alone.
Three hours later, he was herding the cows and calves to a pasture much closer to the ranch house. He’d found the herd about a mile from where he’d seen the wolves, their agitation telling him that they, too, had spotted the predators. Four wolves could easily take down a calf, so why hadn’t they?
Cat!
Alarmed, he pulled on the reins and studied his surroundings. What had that been, a soundless warning from her? Maybe a cry for help?
Yeah, right. She’d been on his mind all day, that’s all.
Disturbed by his inability to put their relationship into perspective, he turned his attention back to keeping the small herd going. He needed an intervention or exorcism, maybe incantations designed to cast out evil spirits or a cleansing ceremony handled by a shaman.
Shaman.
Rolling his shoulders, Matt first tried to stop his thoughts from diving into the past and then gave in to what he knew had to be done. Either he acknowledged his father or he’d spend the rest of the day fighting memories. He’d deal with the memories and then park them back into a corner of his mind until they insisted on coming out again, as they always did.
During the year before his father had taken his life, he’d repeatedly clung to Matt. Sometimes he’d beg Matt to rip the voices out of his head. Other times he’d insist that as soon as he completed the steps necessary for becoming a shaman, he’d drive the voices out himself. All he needed was for Matt to accompany him on his spirit searches. They’d fast and pray together until the spirits revealed themselves.
It was crazy talk; that’s what Matt had thought back then. Yes, only his father loved him, and he was grateful for that love. He needed it. But strange and scary things had started happening to Kaga. He stopped acting like a father.

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