Spencer's Face (Buckeye Hawks) (37 page)

That was another
reason I didn’t want to tell Spencer. This baby was entirely my doing. I
couldn’t burden him with it, or ruin his life with it. I knew it was wrong not
to tell him about his baby, but I’d messed up so badly already. What was one more
mistake?

Gordon was the
oldest of Bridget’s kids. I related to him the most, since we were the closest
in age. He was the oldest of his family and I was the oldest of my family. We
hung out a lot together. I was going to school at night so I could lessen the
chance of being spotted by someone I knew. He was going to night school because
of his behavior problems. His school had suggested he attend this school
because he’d been suspended so many times in his regular school. He was doing
much better at this school. Probably because it was full of pregnant girls and very
few guys.

I did my shopping
during the day. A few months ago, I did run into Dale. I tried to act as normal
as possible. I hid my stomach, but he still spotted it. He asked me to marry him.
He said he’d raise the baby as his own. I thought it was sweet in an odd sort
of way. I declined, but he still promised to keep my secret. My secret was
probably safe, because he didn’t go to school any longer. He’d graduated last
year.

I couldn’t believe
how much my life had changed in the last few months. I went from a national
cheerleading champion to a teenage mother in a few months. Well, technically I
wasn’t a mother yet, but it was fast approaching. That fact scared the hell out
of me. Bridget agreed to help me through it though. She was going to be my
coach. I was already scheduled for a cesarean instead of a normal delivery. Bridget
assured me that I would be grateful for that, even though it meant that my
skimpy bikini days were over.

Last month, I had
to call my mom again to get permission to buy the Hummer and get her signature
on the title to the Mustang so I could trade it in. The dealership took care of
everything for me. I didn’t have to even see her. And more importantly, she
didn’t have to see me. I don’t think she told my dad about me being pregnant. I
was sure he’d be up at Aunt Bridget’s if he knew. Just to cuss me out and tell
me how I was going to Hell basically. At least he couldn’t whip me with the
belt. Even he wouldn’t do that to a pregnant girl.

Gordon and I
drove to school every night in my new Hummer. I worried constantly that I was
going to have a wreck in my Mustang, so I traded it in for a safer vehicle. I
was going to buy an SUV, a normal one, but then I got to thinking: why not get
the one that most closely resembles a tank and go for super safe? Then I
thought, why not make it yellow so everyone would see me and my baby coming. I
was looking forward to driving it to California after I had my daughter. Gordon
was going with me to help drive. I was going to buy him a plane ticket back
home.

The cool thing
about going to school at night was that you could do anything you wanted during
the day. I knew I had to stay away from Buckeye, but Phoenix was pretty safe
during the day for me. Since Gordon was also a night student, we hung out a
lot. We went out to eat often. Of course, I paid. We went to the bookstore
quite a bit. We went grocery shopping even more often. I cleaned the house
during the day while Aunt Bridget worked cleaning other people’s houses.

Gordon mowed the
yard once a week. Once while he was mowing, the mower threw a rock through my
back window. Damn. We had to take it to the dealership to have it fixed. It was
a long wait, and an expensive wait. They had to call my mom before my debit
card would work. I’d asked my mom to grant me emancipation, but she didn’t want
to do that. I called her a month ago to tell her that I was pregnant. She never
liked staying on the phone with me. She finally did tell me that she’d grant me
emancipation. I filed immediately.

Gordon and I
always went out to eat before school. It was a ritual for us. One day while we
were eating, I looked up to see Spencer walking in with his aunt and uncle. I
froze for a second, then I tried to duck under the table. It didn’t work. I
wasn’t quick enough. He caught my gaze, and gave me the funniest look. First it
was happiness, then total sadness, then anger. He whispered to his aunt, then
they all turned around and left without eating.

“Damn that was
close.” I told Gordon.

“Sure was. If he
thought I was your boyfriend, he’d probably kick my ass with you looking like
that.”

I slapped him on
the arm playfully. When I looked up, Spencer was walking toward our table. “Oh
shit! He’s coming over here.” I warned Gordon.

“Should I leave
or stay?” he asked me.

“I don’t know.” I
told him.

“Taylor.” Spencer
said. It wasn’t much of a greeting. I could feel the anger emanating from his
stance and his piercing gaze.

“Spencer.” I
answered him.

“So, you like
Mexicans?” he asked, full of hatred. Hatred for me, the girl he loved just seven
weeks ago.

I nodded.
Apparently he thought Gordon was a friend, or a boyfriend.

“Guess I should
have let Jose rape you then.” He said with more hatefulness than I’d heard come
out of him, ever.

That hurt so
badly that I almost started crying right there in the restaurant. I wanted to
get up and run to the bathroom, but I was stuck to my seat until he left. I
took a deep breath and held it, trying to regain control.

“Don’t talk to
Taylor that way.” Gordon defended me immediately, in a very Mexican accent. He
stood up ready to fight. He was always ready to fight, thus the school
expulsions.

Gordon started
speaking Spanish to me after that so that Spencer wouldn’t understand him.
“Should I kick this guy’s ass? I thought you used to date him. I’m not feeling
the love right now.”

“He’s mad at me,
and if he sees me, he will be even more mad. Please don’t do anything.” I answered
him in Spanish.

Spencer gave me a
funny look. “Since when do you speak Spanish?”

“Since I was
little.” I reported.

“You owe me an
explanation. Why did you really break up with me? Sally is a lesbian, and you
knew it.” he said.

“You were
smothering me. I had to get away. And, you’re doing it again.” I said meanly to
him. I wanted him to leave. I hated being mean to him, but it was imperative
that he didn’t see my huge stomach.

“I’ll quit
smothering you then.” He said meanly, throwing his hands up in the air, making
a show of it. He turned and walked out. I wanted to run after him so badly. I
wanted to throw my arms around him and hold him there. It was everything I
could do to not get up out of that chair and chase him down and tackle him. I
couldn’t ruin his life though. He said a baby would ruin his life. If I could
let him walk away this last time, I would go ahead and move to California
before the baby was born. I didn’t want to chance this ever again.

His face was
different. It didn’t have nearly the birthmark that it had the last time that I
saw him. It almost looked like he had plastic surgery. Maybe he was dating
someone new. Sandy told me that he and Grace were getting kind of close. I
hoped so. I wanted him to be happy. He needed to find a nice girl and get on
with his life.

After he left,
Gordon gave me a look. “He’s the baby’s daddy. Isn’t he?”

I nodded. I was
about to cry.

“Your daughter’s
going to be pretty. He’s not a bad looking white boy.”

I started to
laugh. Gordon always pretended to be gay to make me laugh. “Shut up, you little
half breed.” I always teased him about his biracial ethnicity. He knew I loved
him. I could get away with that.

Damn, of all the
places to finally run into Taylor. I’d been trying to find her for the last
seven weeks since she’d dumped me. Now that I’d found her, all I wanted to do
was leave. Damn. I thought I was in pain before. Now seeing her with another
guy, I realized what real pain was. She was probably having that great sex with
him. I stepped into the back seat of Aunt Janel’s car. “Thanks for waiting. I’m
ready now.” I told her.

“How did it go?”
Todd asked.

“Terrible. I’m
smothering her. That’s why she dumped me.” I told him. I was so upset. How
could she say that? She came over to my house more than I went to hers. Hell
I’d only seen her room once, and that was the day she moved out. “And, oh…she
speaks Spanish better than the Spanish teacher.”

I don’t know why
I said that. I was still in shock that she spoke Spanish. Aunt Janel was taking
her sweet time about pulling out of here and getting me the hell away from
Taylor.

“Can we go home
now?” I asked her to hurry her up. I was mad, and I knew I didn’t sound very
respectful right now.

“Give me a
minute. Did she stand up?” Janel asked.

“What? No. She
just sat there at the table.” I answered. Was she losing it?

“I’m going to
drive around the parking lot. She won’t recognize this car. I’ve got a hunch
about something.”

“What are you
thinking?” Todd asked her.

Janel backed out
and started cruising around the parking lot. “I’m wondering why she broke up
with him for a ridiculous reason, then left school suddenly, and now she gives
him another lame excuse. She stuck to him like glue when they were at the
house. I thought
she
was smothering
him
. Not the other
way around.”

“So?” Todd asked.
He was asking her to connect the dots for him.

“So?” I asked. I
needed the dots connected too.

“We’ll see in a
minute, when she comes out. Then I’ll tell you.” Janel said.

I tried really
hard to follow what Janel was trying to piece together. Damn. She was thinking
Taylor was pregnant. Could that be possible? We used birth control every single
time, except that last time. But she said she was on the pill, and I pulled out.
Maybe it still could have happened. But surely she would have said something.
Wouldn’t she?

We cruised around
the parking lot. I didn’t mind seeing her again to tell the truth. I could duck
if she spotted us. I looked around the parking lot for her Mustang. I didn’t
see it. Being yellow it was usually easy to spot. I did see a yellow Hummer.
Damn. Dale was right. She did drive a Hummer. If she traded cars, she would
probably pick another yellow one. She loved that color for some reason. Why the
hell was she driving a Hummer?

As Janel pulled
into a parking spot where we could see the people exiting the restaurant, I saw
the Mexican guy walk out. Taylor was behind him. “That’s them.”

I looked at her. Stared
at her. I could only see her back. She was walking backwards as she spoke to
the Mexican guy. Then she stopped in front of him and did a ballet move. I
laughed. She was always doing stuff like that. Taking dares, just joking
around. She put one foot in the air high over her head and held it there with
her hand, then released it and did a bow.

“Damn. She’s
flexible.” Todd said.

Janel gave him a
look that could kill. It was one of those looks she gave him when she caught
him staring at a pretty girl when we all went shopping or out to eat. Taylor
was definitely a pretty girl.

“What? She is.” Todd
defended himself.

They often got
into these little fights when we went out. They never went further than that
though.

“She can bend
over backwards and kiss her feet.” I told them. I wanted to brag on her for
some reason. I don’t know why. I embarrassed myself then looked down at the
floorboard.

“Whoa! Bet she
can’t now.” Todd said quickly with a half laugh.

“I was right!”
Janel yelled out.

“What?” I asked,
looking up at her. What were they excited about? What was she right about? I
looked closer at Taylor. She was huge. Pregnant huge. “Holy shit!”