Speechless (Pier 70 #3) (22 page)

Thirty-Three

Saturday, August 13
th

“GIANT FUCKING ASSHOLE!” Teague threw the book across the room, watching as it slammed into the wall and crashed to the floor. “Fuck this shit.”

Getting to his feet, he paced the floor, trying to relax. For the past two hours, he’d been attempting to teach himself sign language right up until he’d realized it was futile. Why the fuck did he need to learn that shit? He didn’t have a damn person to talk to out loud, much less using his hands.

This was bullshit. Sitting around the fucking apartment like some lame motherfucker.

He needed to do something. Something that didn’t involve sitting on his ass. Alone.

Fuck.

He was slowly going insane. This was the very reason he spent his time at the clubs, drinking, hanging with people who gave a shit. Or at least they pretended to for a little while. This sitting at home thing sucked. Big-time.

Thrusting his hands into his hair, Teague grabbed his head, pulling it down and into his chest as he took a deep breath. He needed to chill the fuck out. This was simply a panic attack brought on from being alone. It would pass. It always did.

“Arrgghh! This is such bullshit!”

It was Saturday fucking night. Why the hell was he sitting here alone? And where the fuck was Hudson? The giant fucking asshole had been gone since Thursday afternoon right after the stupid asshole had snuck out of there when Teague had been talking to Cam and Roan. Cam had said Hudson was going to hang with his brother, not spend all his fucking time with him. The giant fucking asshole had left without saying a goddamn word, proof that he was another one who pretended to give a shit when it was beneficial to him.

For the past month, Hudson had been beckoning Teague when it appealed to him. They’d spent damn near all their time together and all of a sudden … boom! Hudson’s gone.

The fucker.

What the hell could Teague have possibly done to make Hudson tuck his tail between his legs and run away? Was he that difficult to be around?

Teague reached for the glass of water sitting on the counter. He took a sip, then glanced at the door. Next thing he knew, he was throwing it, glass shattering, spraying back toward him. Rather than clean that shit up, he grabbed his truck keys and stormed out of his apartment. He needed something a hell of a lot stronger than water, and he didn’t give a shit about Hudson’s goddamn rules anymore.

Fuck Hudson.

Fuck him and his stupid arrangement.

Fuck him to hell and back.

Teague was done.

It was time he got back to what he was good at. Losing himself in whiskey would be a fine way to jumpstart that.

Stomping down the outside stairs that led to the parking lot, he nearly jumped out of his skin when he rounded the corner, damn near plowing into Roan.

“Bro, you all right?”

Teague met Roan’s eyes and nodded. “Fucking fantastic.”

“I heard something crash. You okay?”

“Just fucking perfect.”

Glancing down at his hand, Teague realized he was shaking. The last damn thing he needed was Roan getting all motherly. He damn sure didn’t need that shit on top of everything else he was dealing with. Hell, he hadn’t needed a mother his whole fucking life, no reason to start now.

“I just need to get out of here.”
Forever.
He would keep that last bit to himself.

Roan didn’t look convinced, but Teague didn’t give a shit. He sidestepped him and made a beeline for his truck, ignoring Roan when he called out to him.

He’d spent the past month and a half being the good little boy that Hudson wanted him to be. And where the fuck did that get him?

No-goddamn-where. That’s where.

And it was way past time that he fixed that.

Starting right now.

ROAN STARED AFTER Teague as his truck tore out of the parking lot, spraying gravel against the side of the building. A couple of pieces hit his shins but he ignored it. Instead, he snagged his cell phone from his pocket, then tried calling Teague.

No answer.

Damn it.

He then pulled up his contacts and added Cam, Dare, and Hudson to one text message.

Something’s wrong with Teague. He just left and he doesn’t look good. We need to get him back here before he does something stupid.

Fuck.

Roan stared out at the highway in front of the marina. Headlights flew by with the passing vehicles. He didn’t even know which direction Teague had gone because he hadn’t paid any attention.

Shit. He should’ve grabbed Teague and tied his ass up to keep him here. Instead, he had let him walk away, and he wasn’t lying when he’d said he didn’t look good. Something was definitely bothering Teague, but Roan had no clue what that could possibly be.

However, he had a good idea that Hudson knew what this was all about. Perhaps that was the reason Hudson had taken a few days off.

His phone rang and he hit the talk button.

“What happened?” Cam asked, concern in his tone.

“No fucking clue. I was in the office working on some paperwork and I heard something crash upstairs. Next thing I know, he’s barreling down the stairs, fit to be tied.”

“Shit.”

“Exactly.” Roan sighed. “I don’t know what’s been going on this past month, but the kid’s been different.”

“Different how?”

“A little less … chaotic, I guess you could say. Or so it seemed to me. If I had to guess, he and Hudson have been…” He didn’t want to have to spell it out.

“Really? Where the fuck have I been?”

“Married,” Roan said simply, chuckling.

“So, if he’s been less chaotic, what’s his problem now?”

“No idea,” Roan told him. “Maybe it’s all bottled up. Shit, I don’t know.”

“Damn it. Hold on a minute.”

Roan could hear Cam explaining the situation to someone, most likely Gannon.

“I’m gonna head up there. Don’t leave. Have you heard from Dare or Hudson?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay. See you in a few.”

Roan hung up the phone as a text message was coming in.

Hudson.

What’s wrong with Teague?

It would’ve been easier to explain verbally, however, since Hudson wasn’t there, he had no choice but to spell it out via text.

Not sure. He looked really pissed. Something going on with you two?

Not surprisingly, Hudson didn’t answer his question; however, he did text back advising that he and AJ were headed to the marina.

Roan went back into the building and waited. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do, but he knew they had to do something. He’d known Teague long enough to figure out that whatever mood he was in was dangerous. He’d seen him pissed before, but not quite like that. Quite frankly, it scared him.

Letting Teague run off had been stupid, and now that he had, he simply had to find Teague, drag his ass back here, and find out why he’d gone off the rails.

He could only hope he wasn’t too late. Teague was nothing if not volatile, and from what Roan could tell, his fuse had been lit.

“WHAT’S GOING ON with him?” AJ questioned as they headed for their trucks.

Hudson shrugged.

He honestly had no clue. He had purposely given the kid some space so that he didn’t feel suffocated. They’d spent the better part of the last month together. He should’ve seen this coming after Teague’s freak out at Dare’s place when they were moving, and again last Tuesday when Hudson had invited him over for dinner. Hudson had known a storm was brewing, but he’d honestly thought a little space would’ve done the kid some good.

Now he was beginning to wonder whether he’d made the right choice.

“I’ll see you there,” AJ called out, climbing into his truck.

Since Hudson was parked behind him, AJ had to wait until he backed out of the driveway.

It wasn’t like he’d been doing anything important. Rather than sit at his own apartment and watch television, he had opted to hang with AJ for the weekend. They’d been chilling on the couch, watching baseball, when Roan had texted him.

The instant the words had registered, Hudson’s heart had slammed against his ribs. He couldn’t deny he felt a bit of panic knowing that Teague had stormed out of there. He had no clue what was going through the kid’s head, but he could only imagine.

Fifteen minutes later, Hudson was pulling into the marina parking lot, which was full of vehicles—all belonging to people who worked there.

Cam, Gannon, Dare, Noah, Roan, as well as Cam’s father and Cam’s brother-in-law were all standing in a huddle.

Hudson pulled his truck alongside Noah’s, put it in park, and climbed out.

All eyes moved to him as he walked up.

“You have any idea what’s wrong with Teague?” Cam asked bluntly.

Hudson shook his head.

“Something going on with you two?” Roan’s question held a hint of accusation in it. Hudson had managed to dodge it in the text a little while ago, but face-to-face, it wasn’t that easy.

Cocking his head slightly, he stared Roan down. He did not want to go into what was going on between him and Teague. Especially not with so many people looking at him skeptically. It wasn’t their business.

However, it might be now that they were worried about Teague. Although Teague wouldn’t believe it, Hudson knew that every damn person standing there thought of him as family.

Sure, Hudson understood why they wanted to know. Only, he didn’t feel like sharing what was going on between them, so instead, Hudson grabbed his phone and quickly tapped out a text to Teague.

Where are you?

After the text went, Hudson put his phone back in his pocket and turned his attention to Roan, using his hands to speak:
Where did he go?

Roan shrugged. “He didn’t say. But he was pissed. More so than I’ve ever seen him.”

AJ stepped up. “Does he have any family? Maybe he went there.”

Cam shook his head. “Not that we know of.”

“Did he put an emergency contact down on his application when you hired him?” AJ inquired.

Cam grinned. “Yeah. 9-1-1.”

That figured.

“Well, that doesn’t help.” AJ looked as confused as Hudson felt.

He had no clue how they were going to find Teague. They could scour the bars, but hell, he could be anywhere.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He yanked it out.

Pulling up the message, he shook his head. Teague sent two pictures. One of a bottle of Crown, the other of him flipping Hudson off.

Roan glanced over and Hudson showed him the screen. No sense in hiding it now. They had to find Teague before he did something stupid.

More importantly, Hudson had to find Teague because, oddly enough, he felt responsible for Teague going off like this. Add to that the fact that he believed Teague was suffering from depression of some sort, and it brought back horrible memories for him.

Memories he didn’t want to have to live through again.

Thirty-Four

TEAGUE WAS DEFINITELY feeling no pain.

Over the course of two hours, he had downed the entire bottle of whiskey, which was a feat in and of itself. Then again, once he’d gotten started, he hadn’t been able to stop. The numbness had embraced him. And now he was working on another bottle, sitting on the pier staring down at the black liquid abyss before him. His feet were dangling in the water, but he had yet to jump in, although he was seriously contemplating it. Something was holding him back, but he didn’t know what, nor was he giving it much thought.

He was at the lake, although he didn’t know where he was exactly, but he wasn’t at the marina. He knew better—even in his inebriated state—than to go there. For the past two hours, his phone had buzzed endlessly with text after text, people wanting to know where he was and if he was okay.

Screw them.

They didn’t give a shit about him. No one did.

It took him getting pissed off before anyone even acknowledged he was alive.

That was how the cards had been dealt for him.

The only person he’d had in his life had killed herself, purposely leaving him all alone, and that was how it was meant to be.

“Bitch,” he mumbled aloud, although simply thinking about his mother made his chest ache. He didn’t remember anything about her, so missing her seemed stupid, yet he did. He briefly wondered whether or not he’d ever get to see her again.

His lips were numb and it felt fucking fantastic.

Teague thought about Hudson and how easily he had explained his mother taking her own life. The guy was a fucking moron. No one could sit there and tell him that shit was due to some fucked-up illness. His mother had been selfish, just like Hudson’s. They weren’t thinking about anyone else when they’d offed themselves. Otherwise, they would still fucking be here.

At least that was what he believed. He didn’t give a shit if Hudson claimed it was some mental problem that had caused it.

Seriously. He knew because he felt the same damn way right this minute.

Teague was only thinking about himself as he sat here and contemplated slipping into the warm water and ending it all. If he drank enough, that’d be doable, no doubt. As it was, he couldn’t walk because he couldn’t feel his legs. It was a wonder he could even lift the bottle to his lips anymore. Swimming would be damn near impossible.

That was the plan.

And that was selfish.

But it made him feel better. Knowing that tomorrow he wouldn’t have to wake up and feel the ache of loneliness deep inside… Yep, selfish.

“Depression. Pfft.” That was bullshit, too. One of his counselors in high school had tried to tell him he suffered from depression—major depression or some shit—and that was likely compounded by post-traumatic stress disorder due to the fact that he’d found his mother’s cold, lifeless body.

Seriously.

Fucking.

Bullshit.

It was all bullshit.

He stared into the dark water.

What would happen if he slipped into it and allowed it to swallow him up? Would anyone grieve for him? Would they go to his funeral? Would there
be
a funeral? Or would he merely be put in a box and tossed in the ground? After all, no one would be there to take care of that shit. Would anyone shed a tear that he was gone?

“Nope.” That answer was easy.

No one would fucking care.

Well, maybe Cam, Roan, and Dare. Maybe. Although he doubted they’d think about it for long. They were too busy with their own lives to give two shits about him. Hell, if Roan hadn’t been at the office, no one would’ve known where Teague was or what he was doing. No one.

Not until Monday morning when he didn’t show up for work.

Even then, he doubted anyone would give it a second thought until maybe Tuesday.

Bullshit.

Teague inched closer to the edge of the wooden pier, slipping his feet farther into the water. It was warm and soothing. It’d probably feel good to slide all the way in and sit on the bottom. He’d be free of all the pain, the anger, the … bullshit.

Free from all of it.

Grabbing the bottle, he took another long swig, then another before tossing the bottle into the water.

He sat there for a few minutes, staring up at the sky. His arms were heavy, his head, too. He was so tired. Mentally, physically, emotionally…

He didn’t want to do this anymore. Didn’t want to deal with the sadness, the anger, the … pain. He wanted to feel nothing.

He was done.

“Fuck. This. Shit!” he screamed into the night. Then he lowered his voice to a whisper, “Good-bye, world. Not that anyone gives a fuck.”

And with that parting shot, Teague gave himself over to what would become his liquid grave.

HUDSON WAS RUNNING full out when he heard someone yell. He didn’t know who it was or what they’d said, but he put on another burst of speed. It was a long way to the water from where he had parked his truck at the curb.

He could hear AJ behind him, but he wasn’t waiting for his brother. He’d been out driving around this part of the lake for the past hour, while the others had split up in search of Teague. Gannon had taken on the task of going into Austin to meet Milly, who had offered to start searching downtown clubs. Everyone else went looking in every nook locally to see if anyone had seen the kid. They knew he had to be somewhere.

Thankfully, Cam had asked his father for help—a former police officer—and Mr. Strickland had reached out to a couple of his old cop buddies, asking that they give him a heads-up if someone reported Teague somewhere.

And they had.

The call had come in from an elderly woman about ten minutes ago about a blond guy sitting down on her private pier. The woman hadn’t attempted to confront Teague, but Hudson knew it was him. Considering the bottle of alcohol he’d texted a picture of, Hudson also knew that this wouldn’t be good.

And that was the reason he was running past the woman’s house, through her backyard, and down to the water. His legs were screaming, his chest burning. He was out of breath when he reached the pier, realizing Teague wasn’t there.

Fuck.

There was a ripple in the water not far from the end of the pier, which meant…

No.

Fuck no.

Tossing his cell phone to the ground behind him, Hudson sucked air into his lungs and took the plunge. The water was inky black and he couldn’t see a damn thing. Using his hands and feet, he flailed around, searching blindly. Time seemed to stand completely still. He swam a few inches to his left. Nothing. A few inches to the right. He propelled himself deeper into the water, still flailing his arms, hoping like hell he felt Teague’s body.

Son of a bitch.

Where was he?

He moved farther away from the bank, reaching, searching. His hand brushed something and he grasped for it. It was cloth. Grabbing hold, he pulled it toward himself, but it didn’t move easily.

Oh, fuck.

Teague.

What have you done?

Hudson had to use all his strength to move Teague’s lifeless body. His lungs burned from lack of oxygen, and his heart slammed against his ribs as he wrapped his arms around Teague and kicked toward the surface. The water wasn’t deep where he was, so it didn’t take long. Thankfully, by the time he broke the surface, AJ was kneeling there, waiting for him.

AJ managed to drag Teague up onto the pier while Hudson hefted himself out of the water.

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as he watched Teague’s motionless body lying there, the moon providing just enough light to see him. He was pale, his eyes closed, mouth slightly open.

AJ put two fingers against Teague’s neck, looked at Hudson, and nodded. “Fuck. I don’t know CPR,” AJ said frantically.

No, but Hudson did.

He knelt beside Teague, leaned down to listen to whether or not Teague was breathing. As he suspected, he wasn’t. Hudson then clasped one hand in the other, situated them on Teague’s chest appropriately, and began chest compressions.

“Yes, we need an ambulance,” AJ said frantically, obviously talking into his phone.

Hudson tuned him out, focusing on Teague.

Come on, damn it.

This could not be happening. Why the fuck had he left Teague alone? He should’ve been there, should’ve stayed and tried to work it out with him. Should’ve talked to him like AJ said.

While he leaned down and breathed oxygen into Teague’s airway, a slideshow ran through his brain … all the times they’d spent together over the past month. Teague’s smile, his laugh.

Fuck.

Don’t you fucking leave me, Teague.

If he could’ve shouted it to the world, he would have.

I’m not gonna lose you now, goddammit. We’ve come too damn far.

Hudson resumed chest compressions, but now he was starting to panic. Teague still wasn’t breathing. There was no telling how long he’d been down there, but it couldn’t have been too long based on the ripple in the water. At least that was what he was telling himself.

Motherfucker. Don’t you leave me, Teague. God, don’t fucking leave me. I can’t lose you, too.

As though he heard him, Teague gasped for air, coughing up water, and Hudson felt the relief all the way to his toes. He pushed him over onto his side as Teague vomited up more water. The next thing Hudson knew, the EMTs were there, taking over, pushing Hudson out of the way. He gave them room to work, his heart slamming against his ribs.

Cam, Roan, Dare, and Noah all arrived as they were loading Teague into the ambulance. Cam was on the phone with Gannon, telling him to come back.

Hudson was shaking. He was soaking wet, but it was August, so the tremors racing through him had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with the fear that still trickled through his system. What if he’d been a few minutes later? Teague would’ve drowned. He would’ve been … gone.

Hudson couldn’t bear the thought of that. His life without Teague…

More pain constricted his chest.

He turned to Cam and Dare, the two people who knew Teague better than anyone else. Using his hands, he said what he felt needed to be said.

He needs help.
Hudson nodded toward the water.
Professional help. He tried to kill himself. I don’t know about you, but I am not willing to lose him.

“I agree,” Cam said softly, his eyes searching Hudson’s face.

Hudson didn’t care if Cam saw the emotion. He couldn’t hide it. He didn’t want to hide it.

“Think he’ll listen?” Dare chimed in.

“Don’t think he’ll have much of a choice,” Roan added somberly.

Hudson signed:
I’m going home to change, then I’m going to the hospital.

“We’ll meet you there and we’ll talk more about this then. But I think we’re all on the same page. He tried to take his own life. Next time, we might not be there to save him.”

Hudson didn’t even want to think about that. As it was, his heart was fractured from the pain he felt. The pain he knew Teague was feeling.

Despite what anyone thought, Hudson fully believed that suicide was a last resort. He didn’t think his mother would’ve taken her own life if she hadn’t felt as though it was her only option.

Hudson didn’t want that to be Teague’s only option.