Spectral (13 page)

Roman fidgeted, looking at me for some response. He sank his hands deep in his pockets, tilted his head, and sized me up through wisps of hair. His usual mischievous expression was gone. His face began flushing, then he looked to the ground.

My throat burned and tears stung my eyes.

“You didn’t hand me over to them,” I said through a shaky voice.

Roman shifted his hair, looking back at me, his eyes soft. “No, I never could.”

My heart pounded, urging me toward him. I stretched up, lifting my chin until his lips were a hair’s breath away. Roman moaned, reaching for me. Pressing his hands against my lower back, he molded my body into his. The air seemed to evaporate between us. I could feel his every contour against mine, the tightening of his chest, the movement of his hips as they pressed against me, and his fingertips urging me forward. He traced his tongue lightly across my lower lip before parting his lips against mine. It wasn’t like the kiss in the cave where he pulled away too quick, too unsure. This kiss was tender, passionate, and full of longing. He slid one hand up my back, cradling the back of my neck, pressing me toward him, deepening his kiss. His lips were candy apple sweet, and tasted of remorse and love, and begging forgiveness. Wrapped in his arms, I knew what I wanted, what I believed. It was him. It was always Roman from the moment I saw him.

“Do you forgive me?” he asked, pulling away, holding my head gently in both hands.

My body tingled, full of emotions, but anger toward Roman wasn’t one of them anymore. Even in the middle of complete chaos, I felt something I’d never felt before. It was something I believed was hope. Roman gave me hope.

I nodded, “I forgive you.” I kissed him again, more quickly this time. “And I’m falling for you, too.” The moment I said the words, I smiled, feeling warmth spread through me. There was no confusion about what I felt anymore, and I finally knew something I’d never known all my life. I knew where I belonged.

He pulled me in, nibbling my neck.

“What now, Roman? What are we going to do? They’re coming back in a week,” I swallowed hard.

Roman took in a sharp breath. Leaning back, he held me by my shoulders firmly. “First we have to find the dagger, and then we find your mother.”

I widened my eyes. “My mother?”

“The woman in the picture you found? She’s your
real
mother. Her name is Angelina Rosa. She’s the queen of your coven and she’s been searching for you for years.”

Chapter Sixteen

My legs buckled beneath me, a jab of a pine cone finding my knee. I’d suspected the beautiful woman in the picture was my mother, but hearing it from Roman as a fact was still startling.

I plunked down on my butt, running my fingers through blades of grass.

“Are you serious?” I asked finally. I pulled my knees to my chest and rubbed the scraped one. “Then how did I end up with my current family?”

Roman darted his eyes around as a car drove by beyond the hedges. The sound of its radio faded into the distance and Roman sighed. He sat beside me and cleared his throat.

“I’m not sure. It’s not like your real coven would tell us who took you or anything. Even if someone kidnapped you, they wouldn’t want
us
to find you,” Roman glanced at me, and then away. “When word came about your birth, the Augusti searched every coven for you. They all denied your birth of course. So, since then, the Augusti has kept watch, looking for patterns,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Your parents traveled a lot over the years to many countries…other covens, like they were looking for something…or someone.”

I swallowed. “You think they were trying to find me?”

Roman nodded.

I imagined how my parents must have been panicked.
Were they
? But how could they lose me in the first place? Who loses their baby? My mind churned with confusion.

“When you showed me the picture, I put two and two together,” he paused, giving me a sideways glance. “Think about it…the words on the back of the picture.”

My best friend Karina, my daughter Jewel, and I.
“Karina was my mom’s best friend.” I tugged a handful of grass, and tossed it, my stomach twisting.

He nodded. “She would’ve had every opportunity to take you. I’m not surprised, actually. I told you before, having a Spectral in your coven is a powerful thing.”

“So my birth mom was best friends with someone from another coven? Wouldn’t that be kinda unusual?”

Roman shrugged. “Some covens get along, others not so much.” He reached over and gently ran a finger across the jagged cut on my knee. “Your current family must have kidnapped you, wanting you for their own benefit. All these years, they even sacrificed being with their own coven and family to keep you alive.”

I placed my elbows on my knees, propping my head in my fists, the realization making my head spin. My mother, my father—my grandmother—kidnapped me to use me. A tight pressure gripped my chest.

“But, Jewel, about six months ago, your real parents stopped looking for you and went back to Italy.”

“They stopped looking for me?” My voice came out shaky and I rubbed my forehead, dazed. “How could they give up on me? And now when it’s so close to my seventeenth birthday?” Tears welled in my eyes.

Roman draped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him. I tilted my head, lowering it to relax against his solid chest. It felt so warm and safe wrapped up into him that I wished I never had to leave. “I’m sure they had a reason. They looked for you for so long, that I’m sure there has to be one.” He leaned over, pressing a soft kiss onto my cheek. “Besides, I know where they are.” He shook my leg gently with his free hand, breaking me out of my trance. “Find the dagger, and I’ll bring you home,” he smiled over at me, his eyes full of warmth.

I smiled back, but my mind whirled with agonizing thoughts. I prayed they had a reason, hoping it wasn’t just that they’d given up on me. Then I found myself wishing that if I were lucky enough to find my way home, they’d be happy to see me.

I let out a heavy sigh. “I’m gonna start looking around my house again.”

“And if it’s not there…” Roman paused and tilted his head, “I think you might want to look through that book you mentioned you have.”

My eyebrows shot up. “The Ancient Witchcraft book?”

Roman nodded slowly. “Maybe we need to see what the spells in it can do when placed in the hands of the girl with Spectral blood.”

***

The next day I woke up early with swirling thoughts burning in my mind. One was all about Roman and his ridiculously smoldering face along with the words, ‘I’m falling for you.’ Then there was what he’d said about the Ancient Witchcraft book, and seeing what the spells could do in my hands.

Another was the dagger and my desperate need to find it. In one week, the Augusti Forza would be back for me. The thought of it sent chills buzzing through my veins. Roman promised that with or without the dagger, we’d make a run for it. But in the cave he’d told me that without the dagger, I couldn’t go through the quickening…and if I didn’t go through the quickening, I would die. His words replayed in my mind.
You can’t fight fate, Jewel. You are what you are.
I balled my hands into fists.

And of course, there were thoughts of my mother—my real mother. What had gone wrong? Why did she give up looking for me? Maybe Roman was wrong and she hadn’t been looking for me at all. Those trips could’ve just been for fun. Maybe I was a burden she was glad to be rid of. My throat burned.
An abomination. A freak
.

I pulled my comforter up to my face, inhaling the Downy fabric softener my mom used. I tugged it around me, twirling in the bed until I was like a butterfly in a cocoon. And right then, I didn’t want to ever come out.

Something tickled my exposed foot hanging over the edge of the bed. I twisted around and instantly felt better. Jayden grinned as he wiggled my toes one at a time, rhyming out ‘this little piggy.’ A fit of laughter overtook me. He knew my feet were beyond ticklish and I was trapped in my comforter.

Struggling, I managed to untangle myself. I jumped up, snatched him into my arms, and tossed him onto my bed. “Now you’re in trouble, monkey,” I wiggled my fingers in the air. Tugging up his shirt, I pressed my lips to his belly and blew, making crazy fart sounds that always made him laugh uncontrollably.

“Jewel, stop!” He squirmed and laughed hysterically.

“Pretty please?” I said, inching my fingers along his belly and under his arms, tickling.

“Pretty please,” he echoed with a breathless giggle.

I flopped onto the bed and he scrambled up beside me, tucking his head under my arm. As I leaned down kissing his shaggy brown hair, a sickening thought came to me, and I suddenly felt nauseated.

If Karina and Viktor weren’t my real parents, then that meant Jayden wasn’t my real brother. My hands trembled. The room spun.

“You okay, Jewel?” Jayden squeezed my hand.

“Yeah sure,” I said, my voice strangled. I swallowed the lump in my throat and pressed my face into his hair, inhaling the outdoors smell that reminded me of a wet dog. Jayden was always a little piece of heaven in my living hell.

Leaving with Roman before the Augusti showed up to get me was one thing. It was better for me
and
Jayden. But the thought of never coming back for Jayden was another. It twisted my stomach into knots.

My insides churned, bringing bile to my throat. I cleared it, willing my stomach to calm. I kissed Jayden’s head, holding my lips tightly to it, dazed. There was no way I’d ever leave Jayden behind forever.
Families adopt all the time and think of the child as their own.
The thought comforted me a little. Jayden would be a part of my life always. Blood related or not, he was my brother. Nothing would change that.

When I had control of my voice, I shimmied away and stood beside the bed, telling Jayden to hop onto my back. He did with his usual strangle hold and I left my room, bouncing with him down the stairs for breakfast.

We entered the kitchen and Jayden slid from my back to the floor. He ran, jumping onto Mom’s lap at the table. I couldn’t help but look at her differently now.

Aunt Eva stood beside the kitchen window looking out. Streaks of sunlight shone in from the slatted blinds, creating stripes on her serious face. She tapped her fingers against her coffee mug, her eyes fixed. The loud clank of Jayden’s fork hitting the floor broke into the silence of the room, startling her, and she spun around.

I bent down to pick it up, and then put it in the sink.

Do they know that I know
? I forced myself to turn around and act casual.

“Good morning,” I said, pulling a clean fork from the drawer and handing it to Jayden. He smiled and dug into Mom’s eggs.

Mom cleared her throat. “Did you sleep well last night, honey?”

“Yeah, sure.” I grabbed a couple of pieces of bread and dunked them into the toaster, then strummed my fingers casually against the counter while waiting for it to pop up. “Where is everyone?” I asked, noticing that Dad, Uncle Boris, and Grandma weren’t around.

“The men went out, and your grandmother went to visit Mrs. Snow,” Mom answered.

I found that strange. I couldn’t help but think that Mrs. Snow really was a witch, and had something in common with Grandma.

“Any news to share?” Aunt Eva asked, her heels striking a sharp staccato on the tiled floor.

“News?” I asked, knots forming in my stomach. Looking over my shoulder, I watched Aunt Eva take a seat at the table. I turned back toward the counter.

She scooted her chair across the tile floor, making a loud screeching noise. “I thought I told you you’re not to spend time with anyone other than Taylor.”

Something banged on the table, and I looked back, seeing it was Aunt Eva’s mug. Coffee spilled over the rim and Mom jumped up to grab paper towels. Jayden looked at me, and grimaced.

The toast popped up. My heart raced. I walked to the fridge and grabbed the butter, trying to keep my limbs steady. “What do you mean, Aunt Eva?”

“Come sit here,” she pointed icily to the chair in front of her. I inhaled a sharp breath. Clenching my jaw, I sauntered over with my toast and sat on the edge of the seat.

“Who were the boys at Taylor’s house?” She stared at me closely as if judging my reaction.

“Oh, you mean Chase and Jack?” My words came tumbling out, relieved she didn’t mean Roman. But then I quickly realized it didn’t matter to her. It was an infraction of her rules. I pulled my lower lip between my teeth.
How does she know about that
? I realized Mrs. Snow must have found Chase and Jack in the backyard and dished to Aunt Eva.

Her mouth drew into a straight line as her shoulders pulled back. She wore her typical black outfit, hair drawn back into a tight bun. Her green eyes stared right through me.

“I’m sorry,” I said, not meaning it. “I had no idea they were going to show up, I swear.”

“Are you sure about that?” Aunt Eva asked, still glaring.

I gripped the edge of the table as the dizzying walls seemed to shift, pressing in around me.

“Yes,” I answered, feeling even worse as her eyes bore into mine. My head started to pound. A cold chill shot through my veins. I couldn’t help but wonder if Aunt Eva was using some power on me.
Her endowment
. She was like boring into my brain or something. Aunt Eva held her gaze a moment longer, and then looked away, seemingly satisfied with my answer. I felt the tension peel away. I blinked, trying to clear my vision.

For a second I wondered if she could read my mind, but then realized if she did, she’d know about everything I knew and this whole conversation would be completely different. It must be more like a human lie detector. She could only tell if someone was telling a lie or not. I inhaled a sharp breath and released it.

“True—”

“It’s Jewel, Mom,” I interrupted, feeling irritated and weak all of a sudden. “Seriously, there’s nobody around to hear you call me by my real name.” I wanted to add that I knew my last name was Rosa, not Rose, but didn’t of course. I wanted to tell them both to go to hell. That I knew everything, and mostly, that I was tired of their crap and wasn’t gonna take it anymore. But I knew I had to be smart, so instead, I took a bite of my toast as nonchalantly as I could. “Sorry, I just get tired of all the fake names, ya know?”

Mom shooed Jayden away, telling him she’d be with him in a few minutes. He left reluctantly, looking worriedly over his shoulder at me before leaving. I blew him a kiss and pasted a smile on my face, hating that he was caught in the middle of it all. He was too young, he shouldn’t have to worry about me.

After he left, Mom reached over and patted my hand. “We’ve got some news to share with you.”

My eyes darted from my mother to my aunt, afraid of what I’d hear next.

Aunt Eva leaned across the table, eyes squinted. “Since you don’t listen to instruction, I’ll be leaving with you early,” Aunt Eva sat back, pursing her lips. “We head out to Russia Monday morning. That’s where your big birthday celebration is to happen.”

“Russia? Monday?” That was only four days away. Not that I had any intention on going with her anyway, but that just cut my time almost in half to find the dagger. I put my hands behind my back, feigning a stretch, steadying my trembling hands. “My prom’s coming up. I don’t want to miss that,” I said, trying to sound like a normal teenager who wasn’t worried about things like daggers, and Spectrals, and the Augusti Forza who was trying to have me killed.

I turned to face my mother. “Besides, if we really have to leave, why can’t
you
take me?”

“Your mother has a young boy to look after,” Aunt Eva chided as my mother sat silent.

I couldn’t help but feel weird. Jealous. Hurt. I mean, I figured out that she wasn’t my real mom, but she did raise me since I was born. It hurt to think that she didn’t care about me at all. And even though I loved Jayden more than anything, he had Dad and Grandma here. And he didn’t have people trying to kill him. Even if they did kidnap me, didn’t she think of me as hers now? I didn’t know why Mom couldn’t be there for me at such an important time. She may as well be throwing me to the wolves, sending me with Aunt Eva to the wilds of Russia.

A nagging feeling crept through me. Why
Russia
? I was born in Italy. Roman said if I was going to go through the quickening, it had to be done by a witch queen. I tapped my fingertips against my lips. I wondered who the witch queen of
this
coven was. Aunt Eva seemed like a possibility, but then again, who knew what the other witches were like back in Russia.