Specimen (19 page)

I gradually slow the helicopter, bringing the nose up slightly to decrease airspeed as I adjust the vertical speed with the collective.  For a moment, the nose rises high enough that I can’t see my landing site, but I keep moving forward to control drift.  I tilt the nose forward and lower the collective until we’re resting on the ground just a half mile from the cabin.

I put on the brake and help Riley out of the helicopter.  We jog through the trees until we come to a small rustic cabin nestled between pines.  Inside is one large room consisting of a living area and an eat-in kitchen.  There are three doorways down a short hall.

Riley places her medical bag down and pulls her laptop out of it.  She plugs it into the wall and turns on a wireless network router sitting on the counter.

“There’s a hardline leading to the cabin,” Riley says.  “My father used to work here during the summers when the rest of us were out of school.  I should be able to access the network from here.  I won’t be able to get into the more secured data, but I should be able to find what I need.”

“What do you need?” I ask.

“I have something I want you to see.”

Riley sits down with the laptop in front of her at the kitchen table.  She starts it up and clicks through a few files.  A video begins to play on the screen.

The recording must be from security footage.  In the bottom corner is a date and time stamp along with the letters “MILLS,H,C A1.”  The angle is harsh, the camera obviously placed on the ceiling in the corner of an office.  Captain Mills is sitting at the desk as Riley walks into the room.

“This is the day before I ever saw you,” Riley tells me.  “This was my first day at the medical facility working with the project.”

I nod and look back to the screen as the women on the video begin to speak.

“Congratulations on the promotion,” Captain Mills says.

“Thank you, Captain Mills…uh, ma’am,” Riley says as she sits down on the opposite side of the huge mahogany desk.  The furniture is designed to intimidate, and it does its job well.  Riley reaches down to straighten her skirt at the knees, takes a deep breath, and looks up into the older woman’s eyes.  “It’s a privilege to be a part of such an important project.”

“You know we only accept the very best,” Mills says.  “Some would say that getting here is half the battle, but I don’t agree.  I expect results from everyone who works on Project Mindstorm, and you have a lot to learn about our processes here.”

“Understood, ma’am.”  Riley nods quickly.  “I’ve familiarized myself with the protocols, and they aren’t dissimilar from the work I did with the agency over the past three years.  Security is tighter, of course, but that shouldn’t be an issue.”

“You’ll spend the vast majority of your time here at the medical center in the lab with your specimen,” Mills says.

“I’m look forward to getting started.”

“The new specimens arrived just this morning.  They appear to be a good lot, too.  They’re of higher quality than the first half of the batch.  I’ve got high hopes for them and for you, Dr. Grace.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“Would you like to check them out?  If we get down there early, you might get first pick.”

“I’d love to!”

Riley ends the video as the women in the image stand and walk out the door.  I look over to her, but she says nothing.  She brings up another file, and another video begins to play.

“An hour later,” Riley says softly.

The display shows a large room lined with gurneys.  On each rolling table lies a man—naked, shaven, still, and silent.  There is a group of people standing by a large computer display in the background, and Riley is clearly visible near the front, walking between the rows of bodies.

“The original eighty-nine of your group.”  She points at the screen.

I look carefully until I locate first Isaac and then myself.  I see Pike as well, but he’s in the back row and not as clearly visible.

“We’re all unconscious?”

“Yes.  This is right before you received your implants.”

I watch Riley stop at my table.  She picks up a tablet from a shelf next to me and reads it over.  After a few minutes, Captain Mills joins her.

“He’s a hot one,” she says with a laugh.

I can see Riley’s blush.

“Where is he from?”

“I have no idea,” Captain Mills tells her.  “Most of the volunteers came from that small agricultural area that had to be shut down due to lack of production.  All I know is that this is what he wanted to do.”

I glance at Riley.  She watches closely for my reaction, but I don’t know what to think.

“I didn’t know,” she says quietly.  “I swear to you, Ste…
Galen
.  I had no idea where you came from.  I only knew what she told me.”

I want desperately to believe her.  She reaches out and grabs ahold of my left arm, and I pull back.

“Don’t do that,” I tell her.  “I know what you’re doing.  If you want me to believe what you’re saying, don’t try to pacify me at the same time.”

“I wasn’t trying to…”  Her voice trails off.  “Spat told you about the other implants.”

“I’ve got a lot of things figured out now, Riley.”

Riley starts to reach for me again but quickly pulls her hand back, clenching her fists at her sides and nods once.

I want to believe her.

Therein lies the problem.  I can’t trust her because I can’t trust my own thoughts and opinions about her.  I want her desperately.  I want to believe that she’s known nothing of my past, but how can that be true?

I turn my focus back to the Riley in the video.

“His statistics are optimal,” Riley says.  “I know we only talked briefly about how I’d like to modify the trial, but he would be an ideal candidate.”

“I still need to run all that by the colonel,” Mills says, “but if your calculations are right, it could be worth the risk.”

“He would outperform all the other specimens,” Riley says.  “I guarantee it.”

“Dr. McCall has some concerns about aggression levels, considering the increased TST dosage.”

“Yes, I’ve heard her concerns.  They’re unwarranted.”

“But he would be more aggressive.”

“Isn’t that the idea?”  Riley tilts her head to look at Captain Mills.

“As long as he can be controlled.”

“I’ll make adjustments to the subdermal control modules as well.  His touch response will be elevated.”

“That could be advantageous to you.”  Mills laughs loudly, but Riley looks confused.

“I’m afraid I don’t understand, ma’am.”

Captain Mills crosses her arms and smiles at Riley.

“We’ve had several instances of doctors becoming more…
intimately
involved with the specimens.  They’re young, virile men, and the combination of hormones and steroids we inject into them creates one hell of a sex drive.”

Riley’s eyes widen with a look of horror.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” she says quickly.  “I’ll keep things strictly professional.”

Mills laughs gently and shakes her head before leaning against the gurney.  She reaches out and places a hand on my still chest.

“You misunderstand,” the captain says.  “I encourage the relationship.”

Riley is obviously dumbfounded.  She looks down to my chest as the captain’s hand slowly caresses my skin.

“Excuse me?” Riley finally says.

“Dr. Grace,” Captain Mills says as she takes her hand away and stands up straight, “I’m saying you should consider it.  Granted, the last batch of specimens didn’t work out and ultimately had to be voided, but they sure were a lot of fun when they were alive!”

She chuckles and starts to walk away.

“I’ll put seventy-two down as yours!” she calls out as she leaves the room.

Riley pauses the video, waiting for my response.

“You didn’t want that kind of relationship with me.”  I turn to Riley, unsure of what to think.

“I’m a doctor,” Riley says.  “Under normal circumstances, I keep a completely professional relationship with everyone I work with—colleagues, test subjects, students—anyone.  I had no idea what they had in mind, not before then.”

“You still resisted.”

“It felt so wrong to me,” she says.  “I’ve told you this before.  I felt like I was using you.  It didn’t seem…consensual.”

“You thought you were raping me?”  I find the idea absurd.

“I was, in a way.”  She looks to the floor and lifts her hand to smooth back her hair.  “How could you give true consent, given the circumstances?”

I see the logic in what she says, but I can’t agree with her conclusion.  I never thought of it that way, and I still don’t.  Of all the things she’s had a hand in doing to me, this is the least of my concerns.

“I wanted it.  I always wanted it, even before you allowed me.  It was all I ever thought about outside of training.”

“And why do you think that is?  Do you think you would still feel that way if I hadn’t pumped you full of drugs and manipulated your circuitry to cater to my every whim?”

I look at her closely—her silky hair wrapped up in a bun, her crystal clear eyes, her soft hands that have brought me so much comfort—and everything I see reminds me how much I want her even now, knowing what I know.  Maybe it is ingrained in me.  Her point could be completely valid, but it seems immaterial to me.  Knowing that I’ve been programmed to want her doesn’t lessen the intensity of the feelings I have for her.

“Yeah,” I finally say, “I do.”

“How can you even say that?”  Riley takes a step away from me.

“Because I still feel it,” I tell her.  “Even when I wasn’t sure how much you knew, how I felt about you didn’t change.”

“You only feel like that because of what we did to you.”

I narrow my eyes.

“How long do the drugs stay in my system?” I ask her.

She stares at me for a moment before answering.

“TST levels remain stable for three days, enough to keep you at ninety percent or better for ten.  After sixteen days, it’s nearly gone.  FOG works on something similar to half-life.  After a week, it drops to fifty percent.  Two weeks without additional injections, you’d be down to twenty-five, and so on.”

“How long was I gone?”

“Seventeen days.”

“And the FOG injection—that’s the stuff that includes the hormones and whatever makes me drawn to you?”

“Yes.”

“It reacts with the drugs you take,” I say, and Riley nods.  “So if most of it was out of my system, and I wasn’t anywhere near you in order for the reaction to take place during all that time, why is it that all I could think about was getting back to you?”

“It’s conditioning,” she says.  “Your system wants the drugs, and I provide them.”

“No.”  I shake my head.  “That might have been a driving force initially, but at the end, when they dumped me in the woods, thinking about you was the only thing keeping me alive.”

I place my hand on her cheek and step close to her, pressing my body to hers.

“Can you explain that?” I ask.  “If most of the drugs were already out of my system, and I hadn’t been near you for this hormonal reaction to take place, how is it that I still wanted you more than anything else?  I wasn’t even sure if I could trust you, but I still needed to be with you.”

Without waiting for her answer, I place my lips over hers. I kiss her softly, blending our lips and mouths and tongues.  I feel relief in the action, understanding that she was deceived just as I was.

Riley lowers her hands from my shoulder to my chest and breaks the kiss.

“There’s more,” she says.  “I didn’t know where you came from, but there are things about you I did know.”

I drop my hands to my sides and Riley turns back to the computer.

“There’s one more video I think you should watch,” she tells me.  “It might…well, it might change your mind about how you feel.  I don’t really want you to see it, but I think you should.”

Riley activates another file, and the image of the laboratory where I have spent most of my conscious time comes into view.  She steps back from the computer and wraps her arms around herself.

“This is our first day in the lab together,” she says.  “Your implants have all been installed and activated, but you haven’t awakened yet.”

I see myself lying on the bed, strapped down.  A moment later, Riley enters with a man who looks familiar.  It’s one of the techs from the debriefing.

“That’s Terry Kane,” she says.  “He is the lead tech on the project.”

“I remember seeing him before.”  I focus on the screen as both Riley and Kane stop at the table near the computer.

“Welcome home,” Kane says with a smile.  He takes a small version of a tablet and pokes the screen.  “Specimen seven-two-eight-nine.  You’ve been activated in the system as his controlling doctor.”

“So I should be all set?”

“He’s all yours.”  Kane smiles again.  “The drug treatments are set to your specifications.”

“Thank you.”

“The dose is really high.”

“I’m aware of that.  I plan on comparing his progress to the other specimens at various stages of training for the tech team to observe and compare.  Shweta Rahul is in charge of one, Dr. McCall the other.  The specimens will form a three-man team once their training is complete.”

“McCall, huh?”

“Yes, she’s going to be a big factor in this division, and before you ask, no, we don’t get along.”

“I could tell that from the last meeting.”

“We’ve been rivals for some time, but it isn’t going to impact
my
work.”  It’s clear from Riley’s tone that she thinks McCall’s work will be affected.

Kane laughs.

“Well, she is on the nepotism plan,” he says.  “Her mother is Colonel Mills’ best friend or something.  She worked on the original specimen trials, too.  She perfected the FOG.”

“The FOG?”

“That’s our pet name for Furioquel-gamma, the drug Doctor Mills designed.”

“Oh, she perfected it, did she?”

“You don’t agree?”

“Not even going there.”  Riley rolls her eyes dramatically.  “She worked on subjects from the very beginning, right?  When criminals were used?”

“She did.” Kane nods his head once and taps at the tablet.  “The criminal studies, while successful in methodology, ultimately failed.  The first batch of volunteers were even a bigger mess.  The specimens were too attached to their personal lives to be effective.  Using memory wipes was her brainchild.  Since then, we’ve had a much higher success rate.”

“But we’ve already lost eleven from this group.”

“What’s your clearance?”

“Green.”

“You’ll need to talk to the colonel about upping your clearance for any details on that.”

They move to the bed and stand over me.  Riley reaches out and places her hand on my shoulder.  She examines everything about me as I lie there, secured with bindings around my ankles, wrists, shoulders, and hips.   She tilts her head as she strokes the inside of my arm.

“The limb implants were changed to your specifications,” Kane says.

“Good.  I’ll need the additional control.”

“I hope it’s enough.”  Kane walks to the other side of the bed.  “He’s a well-built guy—good looking, too.  Not too huge like a bodybuilder but nicely muscled arms and legs.  His hair looks like it’s filling out around the scar, too.”

“Are you coveting my specimen, Terry?”

“I might envy your job just a little.” Kane grins and shrugs.  “Do you know where he came from?”

“Just another volunteer,” Riley says.  “You have to wonder what kind of person is willing to give up his life like this though.”

“I have no idea,” Kane replies.  “The information isn’t included in the file.  It’s not really relevant.  If they’re here, they’re here.  He isn’t going to remember a thing, so what difference does it make?”

“None, I suppose.  I just wish there was a little more info in his file.  It would be good to know what kind of natural tendencies he has.”

“Hopefully nothing that will compromise your success,” Kane replies.  “He’s strong, though, so that should make him well suited as a soldier.”

“Will he have any memories of his past life at all?  Any tendencies?”

“Unlikely,” Kane says.   “We target specific memories first, then go after any other learned behaviors.  There may be some basic personality traits dictated by hormonal levels and specific neurotransmitters.  I suppose it’s all about nature versus nurture.”

“With the increased testosterone levels in the specimens, even if they are already elevated, we should have good results.  They build muscle faster and tend to keep that violent edge.”

“That’s not all that’s going to be elevated.”  Kane chuckles.

“How have other doctors compensated for increased sex drive?”  Riley turns to Kane and looks at him closely, but Kane just raises an eyebrow at her.

“I don’t plan on taking advantage of my specimen,” she says.

“Not usually a first-day question,” Kane says with another broad smile.  “I think I like you.  There are ways.  In fact, it’s budgeted in the project.”

Riley stands still for a moment, staring at him with confusion in her eyes.  She blinks a few times, and she appears to be processing what Kane said.

“We bring the specimens prostitutes?”

“You got it, doc.” Kane’s confirmation results in a frown on Riley’s face.  He smiles again.  “They don’t complain.”

They chat for another minute before Kane leaves, and Riley is left alone with me.  Before I look at the screen again, I glance at Riley, and she’s staring at the floor.

“This is when you wake up for the first time,” she says quietly.

I look back to the screen.

Riley engages with the computer for a moment before approaching my body again, sitting herself in the rolling chair beside the bed.  She activates the recorder on her tablet and speaks into it as she takes my vitals.

“Specimen seven-two-eight-nine: Caucasian male, one hundred and eighty-three centimeters long, weighing eighty-nine kilograms.  Vital signs normal; temperature thirty-six degrees centigrade, blood pressure one-twenty over seventy-six.”

She pulls out a vial marked Furioquel-gamma and inserts a needle into the solution.

“Administering first round of FOG.”  She taps the needle to bring the air to the top, expels a slight amount of the liquid concoction, and slowly feeds it into the IV tube.

I see my hand clench and then release, spreading my fingers out wide before relaxing them again.  My eyes open, and I look at my arm, pausing for a moment at the IV needle, and then gaze at the woman beside me.

“Where am I?” I hear myself ask.

She stares at me for a moment.

“You were very aware,” Riley says softly.  “You shouldn’t have been so cognizant so quickly.  I knew there was something wrong immediately.  It was too early for you to be asking rational questions.”

“Can you tell me your name?” Riley in the video asks softly.

My throat bobs as I swallow before answering her.

“I…I’m not sure.”

“What’s the last thing you remember?”

“Galen.”  My head rolls toward her.  “Galen Braggs.  Am I still locked up?”

I don’t miss the shocked expression on Riley’s face.

“Don’t you worry, Galen,” she says quietly.  “I’m going to take care of you, all right?”

“Am I sick?”

“You’re going to be fine.”  Riley smiles down and takes out another syringe.  She injects it into the IV, and I watch as my body slumps back on the bed.

She stands, her expression concerned, and walks over to the computer.

“Terry,” she says, “I need you back here.  Get the other techs.  There’s a problems with these implants.  Hopefully, we’ll still be able to use this specimen.”

Riley stops the video.

“I nearly had you voided,” she tells me without meeting my eyes.  “It was Terry who convinced me he could fix the implants, and you wouldn’t have to be destroyed.  It took seven surgeries before you finally woke up without memories.  At least, I thought you had.”

“Things kept changing,” I tell her.  “I remembered shaving the night before, but then I suddenly had a beard.  I’d wake up with shorter hair than I had the day before.  I had the feeling my dreams were the key to that.  When I stopped telling you about them, I stopped losing time.  I don’t remember what’s on this video though.  The first time I remember waking up, I was alone in the lab.”

“That was the fourth time.  I miscalculated when you would regain consciousness after surgery.  If I had been there, you wouldn’t have been so frightened.”

“And perhaps less destructive.”

“True.”  Riley offers me a wry smile.  “The video was the only time you knew your name right away.  I remember now that you asked about being locked up.  At the time, I thought…well, I’m not sure what I thought.  I was so shocked you remembered your name that I didn’t take what you said into account.  If I had asked then, questioned you, I might have known the truth, but I didn’t.  Even so, when you told me later what you were dreaming about, I should have looked into it more.”

As quickly and easily as my partially electronic brain computes battle tactics, infiltration, and escape routes, I can’t seem to pull all this information about Riley’s prior knowledge together enough to make sense of it.  I want to believe everything she says.  I need to believe it, but there is a bubble of mistrust deep in my gut, and I don’t know how to reconcile it.

“Is this the worst of it?” I ask.  “You heard me ask if I was still locked up and didn’t look into it?”

“I was focused on getting my first specimen working, using my new techniques,” she says.  “I was more concerned about that than anything else at the time.”

“What about now?”

“Now…now I don’t know what to do.”

“You helped me escape.  You took me out of the facility and helped me steal a helicopter.  What position does that put you in now?”

“I have no idea,” she says.  “I don’t care about that anymore.”

“Why not?”

“I only care about you.”

I’m her specimen, her life’s work.  Her very best lab rat.

I bite my tongue.  For the moment, it doesn’t make any difference.  Before long, someone is going to be looking for me, and I can’t allow myself to be captured.

“It’s not safe here,” I say.