Special Needs (22 page)

Ryan grinned. “Are you kidding me? He came in his pants and I barely held it in mine. I forgot how good it is to be touched by someone else.”

“How well do you... feel it?” It came almost in a whisper.

“Feel what?” Ryan furrowed his eyebrows.

“You know... your junk?”

Ryan looked up at him, but quickly cast his gaze down again and wheeled into the elevator. That was a very forward question. Even hearing it got him embarrassed. It was strange because in fact, he felt everything of course, but he was so in touch with his disabled persona that all the emotions interconnected with it felt real. “Uhm, yeah. I... suppose I was really lucky. My injury is very minor in comparison to some people’s. Why are you even asking?” It came out harsher than he would have wished. Liam tensed, grabbing his own wrist with the other hand.

“Stuart asked me.”

“What? And what did you tell him?” Ryan hissed and bit on his lip ring.

Liam snorted. “How could I know what to tell him? He should have known it’s not any of my business.”

“It’s not funny. And you’re my caretaker. Who would know, if not you?” Even thinking of it was getting on Ryan's nerves.

“Well, he should be asking you, not me.” Liam slammed his fist into the elevator wall, his eyes narrowing into slits. What the hell was wrong with his mood anyway?

“I can imagine it’s hard to ask someone about it on your second date. And don’t break my elevator. Seriously.”

“Right, it’s better to go behind their back, instead of waiting with sex like any normal person.” Liam looked away, his lips now a thin line.

“Well you’re one to speak. You just told me a few days ago you almost had sex with a stranger at the mall. Why am I supposed to wait, huh? I’m sick of waiting! I want him to bang me!” Why would Liam cock-block him now? Liam out of all people!

“Oh, you do, huh?” Liam stormed out of the elevator as soon as it opened.

“Yeah I do. Seriously, Liam, I’m like a fish in a desert. And the guy’s interested in me. What’s your problem all of a sudden?” Ryan wheeled out into the corridor.

“My problem’s that there’s something wrong about him.” Liam turned around all of a sudden, his blond hair in a mess.

“Why? ‘Cause he likes me a lot?” Ryan pouted. “Some people don’t mind the legs, you know. You kept telling me that and now that I’m seeing someone, you’re all surprised. Fuck you!” He spat and moved down the corridor in anger. He didn’t know what to do next though. He had a flight of stairs to go up against, and he really didn’t want Liam touching him now.

“Oh, so that’s what you think of me? Now that Stuart came in his pants on you, he’s going to be the good guy.”

“You make it sound horrible...” Ryan stopped at the end of the corridor and pretended he was just looking out the window. He didn’t like what he was hearing at all. How was he supposed to have experience in dating matters? It was nice to get the attention for once.

“Listen, Ryan.” Liam sounded tired when he approached him. “I’m worried, okay? Like... with that Joe guy, it felt fine, but Stuart? He told me he already dated guys like you.”

“So what? You’re suggesting he’s another stalker?” Ryan shook his head, without looking up. All he wanted was to have some. Stuart wasn’t a devotee. He could sense it.

“I’m not suggesting anything.” Liam swallowed, his face going sour. “Just... you need to be careful.”

“So you made all this fuss, just to tell me to be careful?” Ryan folded his arms.

“What fuss? You’re overreacting, Ryan.” Liam’s barely-covered body was visibly tense.

“You very well know I don’t date much, so don’t be so surprised if I’m a bit touchy.”

“I kinda thought you trust me. Apparently all it takes for Stuart to earn your trust is dry humping on the beach!” He wasn’t looking at Ryan, his jaw moving as if he was gritting his teeth.

“Yeah, sure, go on, keep mocking my sexual experiences,” hissed Ryan and started wheeling away once more. Whatever. He could sleep in a guest room.

“I’m not mocking you. I’m saying you trust him too easily.”

“I bet you fuck your girls on the first date, so what’s this trust you keep mentioning?”

“Well, I’m fucking them, not dating them!”

“So...? What am I doing wrong again?” Ryan stopped in front of the elevator, feeling like an idiot. Chased by a hunk in orange underpants.

“Nothing. You’re just rushing into it. From ‘no sex’ to ‘I want him to bang me’.” Liam growled, all flustered, and Ryan was happy the guest rooms were soundproof.

“What’s wrong with that? Do I need some kind of quarantine time? Like a camp for refugees from the ‘no sex’-land?” He rolled his eyes, waiting for the elevator to finally come up.

“It’s intuitive, Ryan. I can’t explain it.” Liam let his hands drop to his sides in a picture of helplessness. He looked sad, yet still hot.

Ryan wheeled into the elevator as soon as it arrived. “I’m gonna do some stuff downstairs, so you’re free, you don’t have to wait.” He didn’t want to continue this conversation, nor did he want to be carried by a half-naked Liam. At least not today. And it did seem reasonable that Stuart asked about his injury. The guy had his needs, so he wanted to know whether full on sex was a possibility.

“Maybe I should hook up with someone?” Liam sounded angry, like he was getting back at him with that idea.

Ryan shrugged. “Yeah, whatever. It’s your free time. What do I care?” he said as the door closed, but hid his face in his hands as soon as he was alone. He so didn’t want to think about Liam with some stupid girl.

Chapter 12

Ryan was meeting Stuart every other day since the picnic and they would make out, but there was never enough time to do much more than chatting and a bit of fondling. Getting the hotel ready for the whole porn crew, had Ryan busy around the clock. The big day had arrived and he was on pins and needles. Also, contrary to what he said to Liam, he was still stressed about sex. He knew a lot about it, but the physical aspect of it made him nervous, even though he was set on not chickening out this time. He had a feeling Stuart would be able to make him feel comfortable. He seemed really considerate.

Liam on the other hand... The guy acted like a big baby, still offended after the fight they had over a week ago. He would perform his duties with a silence so annoying and, frankly, so hurtful, that Ryan would rather not have him around. If only everything didn't feel so empty without him... Liam even missed their movie night, so Ryan had to watch the new episode of
The Walking Dead
on his own, which wasn't even remotely as fun as it was with Liam. He enjoyed having a friend for once, but didn’t want to grovel for it. Maybe it was for the better? As much as he denied it, he was starting to develop a serious crush on Liam and that wouldn't do them any good.

They didn’t take any other reservations for the day, as the crew was supposed to sleep in the hotel after the shoot, which meant that apart from its marketing value, they would earn more than any other single night so far, even with the discount Ryan gave the crew. All the staff was in a frenzy, and with Liam busy in the kitchen since early in the morning, Ryan was all alone in his office as he picked up the early phone call from Stuart.

“You know, you could come over and watch, if you promise to be quiet and don’t disturb them at work,” he told Stuart over the phone.

“I will come over, but not to watch the porn. I miss you.”

If Stuart refused to watch Matt Powers in action and still said that, Ryan was flattered. Even if it was a lie. “Aww, Stu, you’re adorable. I’m sure we’ll find a bit of time for ourselves.”

“You think I could maybe... stay the night?”

Ryan swallowed and his stomach tightened.
Okay, virgin boy. This is it.

“There’s loads of people here today for the filming, but you could stay tomorrow if you find the time.”

“I’d love that. Would you like to go have a nice dinner in town before that? I could pick you up after work.”

Ryan exhaled, trying to control the tremor in his breath. “It’s a bit of a hassle with the wheelchair, you know. I’ll ask Liam to make something nice for us. How about that?”
Yeah, he will
love
that.

“Sounds cool. It’s a date then. I’ll come by in a few hours when I’m done here, okay?”

“Sure. Everyone will be all oiled up by then.” Ryan laughed nervously. Sexy chat with Stuart wasn’t nearly as easy as the stupid banter he would have with Liam. The guy was nice, but the fact Ryan tried to ignore since day one was that they didn’t really have that much in common. There were moments when they got stuck mid-conversation, and it had him feeling far from comfortable.

“Do you have any preference for oil?”

Like now. Was this a joke or was Stuart being serious? “Are we talking lube?” Ryan tried to cover up his nervousness with acting all forward and confident, but actually, the conversation was making him uneasy.

“Yeah. I’m going to use a lot, because you can’t know if I use too little.” Did Stuart’s voice go raspy all of a sudden?

Ryan swallowed, desperately trying to make himself calm down, but without much success. He wanted sex. Badly. And for someone like him, finding a partner would never be easy, so he couldn't act like some fussy princess and wait for a prince charming who would never come anyway. He had to get it over with to get rid of this... anxiety of being a twenty five year old virgin. “Oh. Yeah... I guess... more is better, right?”

“Definitely. I’ll make it good for you. Promise.”

That did make Ryan feel better. “Thanks. I hope it won’t be awkward for you. It’s just a bit more logistics with the legs.”

“I think I can manage that. Anyway, I need to go. See you soon, baby.”

“See you.” He smiled into the phone, a warm feeling spreading through his chest.

He wheeled out of the office and moved to the lounge where Liam was busy adding the finishing touches to the catering tables. He insisted to do everything himself, and it looked like he did a decent job with all the small pastries, salads and so on. He wore an oversized tank top and a nice pair of jeans that fitted well without being too tight. Freaking untouchable eye-candy.

Ryan had known Liam was a professional cook and he did make excellent food, most of which
was
better than fries, but preparing esthetically pleasing food for a whole film crew was an entirely different matter. He was impressed with the effect. “Wow, Liam. This looks great. We would pay a fortune for this otherwise. I bet they’ll be hungry after all the sex.” He tried to make a joke, but was still nervous about inviting Stuart for tomorrow, so it came out embarrassingly flat.

“Oh, Ryan, hi.” Liam cleared his throat, examining the piles of food like an artist before touching the brush to a painting. “I also have this Hungarian vegetable and sausage stew for lunch. You know, so that they get something hot.” His grey eyes locked with Ryan’s, making his stomach knot.

“Are you kidding me? This is amazing! You are so underemployed.” Ryan sighed. Only now did it hit him that Liam would probably leave as soon as he found some kind of chef job. It was the last thing he wanted to think about now, so he wheeled around the lounge, just to make sure everything was tidy.

“Nah, it’s cool to cook under less pressure. You want to try the fruit cocktail?” Liam gestured towards a pitcher containing some bright orange liquid.

“Oh yeah, I’ll be needing that today. My people skills might need a boost.” Ryan quickly moved to the table and tried to reach the jug from his chair. It was virtually impossible, but Liam was there to help.

“Ah, I’m afraid it’s a soft drink.” Liam poured him a glassful of the cocktail.

“Oh no. I mean...” He looked up at Liam. “I bet it’s delicious. I just assumed it’s alcoholic.”

“Nah, they’ll be working. Alcohol doesn’t really help the fucking.” Liam sighed and fished out a pack of cigarettes.

“Yeah, keeping up erections and stuff...” Ryan trailed off and focused on his drink. God, Liam was so experienced. Ryan had to get over his own virginity and live up to that level.

“Are you nervous about meeting him?”

Ryan couldn’t help the chuckle that left his chest. “Yeah. I’ve been wanking to him for so long, you know. It’s gonna be strange to actually meet him as a person.”

Liam blinked. “You were what?”

“Ah. Yeah, ‘wanking’. It’s British for jerking off. Stu calls it that.” Ryan smiled, holding the juice with both hands.

Liam’s sigh rang in Ryan’s ears. “So, how are you two doing?”

“I kinda invited him to stay over tomorrow.” He ran his finger along the edge of the glass. He was ready to stop talking if Liam didn’t want to listen to it, but he didn’t have anyone else he could seriously talk to about it. Rodney was a fun guy, but not for this type of conversation, and Fay was a woman with so much experience she’d just laugh it off.

“Oh.” The room was so quiet that he could hear each of Liam’s breaths.

It made him cringe, so Ryan finished his drink as fast as possible. “Yeah,” he muttered, more nervous than before and wheeled out of the lounge. Out in the corridor, Fay was busy cleaning all mirrors for the second time that day.