Special Delivery (Mountain Meadow Homecoming 1) (20 page)

Jenny blinked tears from her eyes, but couldn’t quite prevent the slight hitch to her breathing. When Evan started toward her, she waved him away. “No. If you touch me now, I’ll never get all of this said. And it’s important, Evan. It’s important that all the lies, the secrets, and the deceptions come to an end.” She closed her eyes for a moment to regain her composure.

“I thought for a long time I was sparing you heartache. I thought if I kept my mouth shut, life would just go on with you hating me as much as I hate myself. But I’ve seen how nasty and cynical you were with everyone.” Jenny stopped and wiped her eyes. “You never laughed. You never smiled. You were just as miserable as me.”

She sipped her brandy. “I thought about that earlier tonight because in the past week, you’ve been so much more like the Evan I fell in love so long ago. The way you’ve been with Noelle—it opened my eyes. I started thinking about what had happened and what you said the night you took me home.”

“Jenny,” he interjected, his voice hoarse. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It does,” she countered. “Because until you know everything, I can’t go on. We can’t go on. While I sat in my office tonight, my phone rang. The caller was someone I’ve heard from off and on over the years, reminding me of…things. When I ended the call, I was going to go back home and forget I promised Jake and Holly I would be there for dinner because I knew you would be there, too.”

Evan’s hand shook just the tiniest bit as he sipped his brandy. She let her gaze wander over him until she met his eyes. “But then I decided I would go. You see, over the past three days I’ve seen you fall in love with a baby. I’ve seen you go out of your way to help Holly and Tyler…and Jake. You were once again
my
Evan, and I want you back. I told myself I would tell you everything and let you draw your own conclusions.” She was so afraid that what she had to tell him would rip them further apart.

“I’m listening.”

Jenny swallowed the rest of the amber liquor and set the glass on the small, antique table next to the wing chair where she sat. Hands clasped together in her lap, she stared into the fireplace.

“The night I told you I was pregnant was the most beautiful night of my life.” She began. “You were just as happy as me that we had created a life together. I hadn’t suspected what the changes in my body meant, so by the time I knew for sure, I was almost three months along. Did you know a fetus at that stage can wiggle its fingers and toes?” A living being that had never really had a chance.

Evan’s face went pale and taut. “Do we have to go back that far?”

Sorrow and pain flooded her. “Yes.”

“Go on, then.”

“After you left, I confronted my father. I told him I was pregnant with your baby. That we loved each other. He was furious. H-he slapped me, told me I was a slut just like my mother, and asked me if I wanted to end up like her. I told him I was going to be a doctor, and you were going to be a lawyer. He just laughed and said I was a
stupid
slut if I thought either one of us would be able to do that and raise a brat at the same time.

“I walked out, telling him I was going to leave. He must have called your father right afterward.”

“What the hell does this have to do with my father?” Evan snapped, once again reverting to the cold, cynical man he had become over the years. A man like his father, but Jenny hoped to stop that tonight.

“Please, Evan. Let me tell the whole story, and then you can decide.”

He sat back, but tension that was not there a few minutes earlier now tightened his posture. “All right.”

Jenny quaked with fear she dared not show. If he wouldn’t accept his father’s role in this mess, she would lose.
They
would lose. Taking a deep breath, she continued. “The next day, you asked me to meet you at Mercer’s. I got ready and told Daddy I was meeting some girlfriends. After his reaction the night before, I was afraid to tell him the truth. He fixed dinner, but I didn’t think anything about it. He did on occasion. I didn’t want to make him any angrier, so I ate. He’d made fresh tea, and I craved liquids. I swallowed the first glass fast like I often did, and then ate some of my supper.”

Jenny stopped, swallowed, and tucked her hair behind her ear. “By the end of the meal, I was dizzy and confused. It scared me because I thought there might be something wrong with the baby. I told Daddy, and he suggested I lie down in my room. I admitted I was supposed to meet you, and he promised to let you know.”

“He never called,” Evan stated. “I waited at Mercer’s for two hours before I drove to your house, afraid something had happened.”

Jenny’s mouth twisted. “Something did. Only I didn’t know it. I was out cold. The next thing I knew, at the time, was waking the next morning. I was in my bed…naked…and starting to cramp. I called Daddy, but he didn’t answer. When I dragged myself from bed, I discovered he’d left to run moonshine across the state line.” She paused, her eyes locked on the fire as the horror of what happened flooded through her. The pain of that day would never go away. No girl should have to face what she had. “I stumbled into the bathroom because the cramps just got worse. It hurt so much I doubled over. Something was wrong. I put my hand between my legs and when I brought it back there was blood.” Jenny stopped, trying to compose herself before she continued. “I needed to call Doc, but another cramp hit. I crouched…and I passed—”

“Jenny. Stop.” Evan’s voice reverberated with pain.

“It was our baby. A little girl. She was so tiny, but everything was there. Arms, legs, fingers, and toes.”

“Stop!”

She ignored him. She had to. If she didn’t say this now, she’d never be able to do it again. “I just stared for a minute, and then I got a towel and put her in there. I thought maybe if I could get to the phone, maybe Doc could put her back…” Jenny paused and sighed. “Stupid, but I was just a kid and I was in shock, I think. It didn’t matter. Daddy had seen to that. He’d cut the phone line before he left. I went back to the bathroom and held her while I bled. It stopped after a while, so I got dressed.” Jenny shivered. “I was weak but afraid to leave her there, so I put her in the wooden chest you’d given me for Christmas. I padded it with material so she’d be nice and warm.”

Jenny stopped. She sobbed, and with tears still streaming down her face, continued. “I carried the box and a shovel up the hill to the spot under the tree where you and I used to go to make out. I dug a hole for her and buried her. She would have been a Christmas baby had I carried her to term.”

Evan tossed back the rest of his brandy and stood. His movements were jerky and uncoordinated. “Please, Jenny. Stop. It happened a long time ago.”

“Don’t you see? It’s still happening, and you need to know it all. I’m sorry if it’s painful for you, but it’s not easy for me either.”

“No,” he choked as he poured them both more brandy, “I can see that.”

She took her glass and sipped. She stared into the flames for a while, lost in memories. “I’d cleaned the house by the time Daddy returned. I didn’t tell him what happened. I was afraid he’d make me dig my baby up and throw her away.” Jenny’s jaw clenched. “He fixed the phone line as soon as he got back. After all, he did a lot of business over it. So I tried to call you, but your mom said you’d gone out. I tried to call the next day, but you still weren’t there. When I missed graduation, I was surprised you didn’t call. By Sunday, I knew something was going on, so I walked through the woods and got old man Crawley to give me a ride to your house.”

“And I was washing my car,” Evan supplied.

“You looked so strange,” Jenny whispered, “as if you hated me.”

“I did. I wanted to kill you.” His expression now reflected some of the pain he’d felt then, plus a bone-deep remorse.

“I understand now,” she murmured, “but I didn’t then. I told you I’d lost our baby and all you did was laugh and say, ‘Our baby?’ in such a cold, hateful voice. Something started to die in me. Then you started in about how it could be yours or half the basketball team’s for all you knew, and how I’d probably gotten rid of it.”

“You ran away, down the drive,” Evan recalled. “I was furious. I went wild. Took off in my car and left town.”

Jenny closed her eyes, forcing her breathing to even out. “I didn’t have that option, not then. I walked back to town and stopped by Doc’s house because I had started bleeding again.” She paused when Evan released his breath on a huff. They had made so many mistakes. “He examined me. I told him about the baby, but he said I had bruising and tearing consistent with sexual assault, and he started questioning me.” She laughed without humor. “Of course, I couldn’t tell him anything because I didn’t know what had happened. I’m sure Doc thought I was protecting you, but since I wouldn’t say anything, he couldn’t do anything. I knew something must have happened the night I was supposed to meet you, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember. I asked Daddy, but he denied anything happened.

“I admitted I lost the baby and you broke up with me. He hugged me and kissed me and told me how sorry he was.” Jenny’s voice tightened with the rage she’d suppressed for so long. “He
drugged
me and sicced those boys on me. Then he told me how sorry he was, but now there’d be nothing to stop me from going to Carolina. He’d saved enough to send me there—so he said.”

“You don’t think it was his money?” Evan frowned.

“I know it wasn’t. Now. At the time, I needed to believe, so I never questioned it. He told me everything on his deathbed. Even then, I didn’t want to believe, but when I tried to return the next payment deposited into my account, the first phone call came.”

“Phone call from whom?” Evan asked. Jenny wasn’t sure what she heard in his voice. Doubt? Trepidation? Dawning knowledge?

“Your father.”

“Impossible.” Evan denied. The way his expression began to close off again made Jenny plow ahead.

“I vowed never to tell you this,” she whispered. “There’d been enough pain. We’d lost our child. We lost each other. My relationship with my father was destroyed long before he confessed what he did. There was no point in telling you and destroying your relationship with your father. But it won’t go away, Evan. Even after all these years, it keeps coming up.”

Evan stared at her, his gray eyes narrowing. “Who called before you left your office?” he demanded, then answered his own question. “My father? What did he say, Jenny? Tell me what he said.”

“He told me to stay away from you, not to even think of trying to reestablish our relationship because he had plans for you, political aspirations. And the daughter of a mountain moonshiner didn’t fit. Then he reminded me of our agreement.”

Evan recoiled. “What agreement? When did you make any agreement with my father?”

Jenny stared into the fireplace. “I agreed to meet him after he called the first time. I was in my last year of medical school, waiting to hear about my residency. It’s a very political thing. I’d gotten some excellent recommendations, but I knew all that could go up in smoke. One word from a U.S. Senator, and I could find myself practicing medicine in some obscure Central American village.” Jenny swallowed. Surely Evan could understand. After all, his job was an elected position. But then he had never had to live hand-to-mouth as she so often had. His future had come with the backing of a United States senator. How could he understand unless she laid it all out there?

“We met at a bar and grill in Winston-Salem, where I was going to medical school. He had his laptop. I didn’t understand why at first. He insisted on getting a booth in the back corner. He made me slide in first, and then he slid in next to me,” Jenny shuddered. “I nearly panicked, feeling I was trapped.

“He left the laptop closed to start,” she continued. “His hands, so like yours, were folded on top of it. He explained his money had gone into my account each and every month. He’d paid for my education and my living expenses at Carolina, and he was paying them at Wake Forest.”

“Why would he do that?” Evan asked in confusion.

“That’s what I wanted to know. Your dad told me my father called him all those years ago and told him I was pregnant, and then demanded to know what he intended to do about it. Your dad told him he wanted us split up. So they joined forces. My dad would break us up, and your dad would pay for my education.

“According to Daddy, your father got him the drugs. Daddy claimed once I passed out, the boys were just supposed to strip me and themselves, shoot a video, and allow you to walk in and see us all together.”

“Shoot a video?” Evan echoed.

Jenny shuddered. “Yes. Except after you left, so did Daddy, and the boys, who were just supposed to clean up and go home, decided they couldn’t pass the opportunity. After all, you’d had exclusive use of me for four years. Not only was I captain of the cheerleading squad, but I was a stuck up little bitch who thought she was better than everyone else.”

The old frustration made her grip the arms of the chair as though she could rip them apart. Why couldn’t she remember?

“Did they tell you that?” Evan gaped.

“No. Your father did. He said it had been edited from the original video so it would look like I was willing.”

“He showed you a video of them gang-raping you?” Evan’s question was so appalled, Jenny almost denied it just to save him more pain, but then she remembered she’d promised there would be no more lies.

“He had it on DVD on the laptop.” Just saying it out loud made her want to vomit.

Evan’s face flushed and his hands clenched.

“He showed me after I told him I wouldn’t take his money, and I was going to the police to report all of it. Someone would do something, even if he was a senator. He told me if I ever tried to approach you or anyone with what happened he would be able to show I had taken money from him for eight years, and if he needed to, he would go public with the video of my little sex party.”

Jenny downed the rest of the brandy. “So now you know it all.” She had bared everything. Like a condemned man, she could now only await her fate. She set her glass on the table, feeling some relief, but also incredible emptiness. Evan showed so little emotion. She wondered if he’d heard her at all. “I put a headstone on our baby’s grave. It’s not very big, but then neither was she. I named her Hope Richardson. She should have been our Christmas baby.”