Spear of Light (54 page)

She wasn't happy.

They passed so many sleeping people Charlie began to wonder if they would find a place to settle.

Light created virtual walls around the small city, and Charlie led them just outside of the boundaries so that with their backs to the city everything was dark. “I've never seen the sky so empty,” he said.

“Maybe that means it's over,” Manny replied, his voice dull.

Farro walked up to them. “I can't sleep either.”

“I bet all of the satellites are gone, too,” Charlie answered her.

Manny was staring toward where the town used to be. “There's a lot of rebuilding to do.”

“It will take a few days.”

“Days? It will take more than that.”

She sighed. “Before people are ready to start. They're all in shock. They need time to wrap their minds around this. We study responses to trauma for the Port Authority forces, you know, in case there's a horrible accident with a ship landing or taking off. That's happened before, although not for years. Once two hundred people from a university died when their ship blew up just after they landed. Professors and students.

“I've seen the video. It shocked me. The instructor said the real thing would scare us for a long time, not the five minutes after the movie. She said we should sleep and rest and wait and give ourselves time.” Farro glanced over her shoulder at the makeshift city. “Maybe the Next knew that about us.”

Charlie said, “Some days I still think I'll wake up and it will all have been a nightmare, and Lym will be just like it was ten years ago.”

“You might always think that,” Farro replied. “Extreme trauma often seems unreal.”

“I doubt I'll have time to think about trauma for the next few months.” He couldn't see her face, but she fell silent and put a hand on arm.

Yi Two came up to them. “There you are, Charlie.”

“Is everything okay?” The question sounded silly as soon as it escaped his mouth.

Yi didn't bother to answer that. “They want you up at the caves. We're sending a skimmer to resupply, and Nona asked that you bring the things they need. She sent a list, and we loaded it.”

Charlie glanced down at Cricket. “I'll have to drop her at the station.”

Yi regarded the tongat. “She might not like the caves. They'll meet you at the mouth.”

Manny looked startled. “What caves?”

Charlie chose his words carefully. “Amfi and some of the gleaners live in caves up in Ice Fall Valley. That's where Nona is now. They wanted me to go a few days ago but I couldn't leave then. I think they found an interesting artifact, or something.”

Farro turned toward Yi Two. “And
you're
interested in the caves? The Next?”

Yi Two didn't answer.

Clearly Yi Two wasn't quite as facile with human conversation as Yi One. Charlie spoke into the awkward silence. “It's probably nothing. I understand that this isn't a great time to leave. But the soulbots want me there, and I have to believe it's for something. Besides, I'd like to see Nona. I'll be back in a day or so.”

Yi Two looked serious and unyielding, and not as human as usual. “I have a skimmer waiting.”

Charlie glanced back at the remains of Manna Springs and then at the Wall. He leaned in and folded Manny in a hug. “I won't be gone long.”

Manny pulled free of the hug and stared at him, his face half in shadow and half lit by the lights of the refugee base. “You're leaving now? Right now?”

“You heard Farro. Everyone needs to rest. Besides, I'll heal better in the wild.”

Manny nodded slowly, his lips a tight line and his jaw clenched. “We could use you here.”

“I need to check on Nona. She's still the Deep's ambassador.” When Manny stayed silent, he continued, “I'm not good with people the way you are.”

“You mean you need to be in the wild.”

“Yes.” Manny didn't look ready to accept another hug, so Charlie settled for saying, “I'm sorry.” An unforgiving guilt gnawed at him as he followed Yi Two, Cricket at his heels.

CHAPTER SIXTY-EIGHT

NONA

Nona's eyes opened to the ever-present dull light that infused the caverns. She rose and stumbled to the privy, and came out to find Chrystal sitting in the corner, watching her. Neil had fetched up against the far wall under a blanket. He snored softly. His head rested on his neatly folded brown jacket.

Nona scooted closer to Chrystal. “I don't care for this place.”

“I don't either.” Chrystal shifted position. “It's too big.”

They had walked through labyrinthine corridors for hours twice, so far that Nona's thighs burned and her feet throbbed. “Did the others keep going?”

“They'll be back soon. They wanted to see if they can find the far side.”

Nona reached for her canteen and took a long sip of water. She stared at the mouth of the canteen. “The taste is going off. Is there another one?”

Chrystal reached for the canteen, which Nona passed to her. She sniffed. “There are a few more, but this is just stale. Go ahead and finish it. We've been underground for forty-seven hours and fifteen minutes. We'll have to go out to resupply soon.”

“So long?” The cave felt like a station—full of twisty passages and walled-in rooms of all imaginable sizes. But the station was wreathed in green compared to this place, and the lights were far brighter. The weight of the mountaintops above them felt like a constant threat. Another experience only possible on a planet.

They had slept, and wandered, and slept again. Privies had become scarcer the deeper they went, as if they had moved from a place designed for humans to one used by machines. They had found the Colorima's symbols on three new walls. Each time they had seen the symbols, the Colorima had looked excited. “Have they found what they're looking for?”

“Not so far. Yi is trying to learn what he can.”

Nona sipped more of the stale water. “Do they hide things from you?”

Chrystal picked at her dark hair, running her slender fingers through tangles. “I don't think of it that way. We're only a little of the way to being them. It's as if we were two years old, and they're fifty. They're teaching us as fast as we can learn. Sometimes I glimpse the next lesson, the next insight, and I'm amazed. Then I learn it and I stay amazed. Without them to help us, I'm certain I would be frightened all the time.”

Nona took her hand. It was the first time she had touched this Chrystal.

Chrystal looked down at their joined hands. She smiled softly, looking pleased. “A Jhailing told me that they'd spent years perfecting ways to grow new Next that don't go stark raving mad.”

“If you're the equivalent of a two-year-old, then what are we?”

“Unborn.”

Nona blinked, stung. The other Chrystal, the first one, would never have said such a thing to her. Her throat felt full and thick, and she blinked back a stinging tear. She pulled her hand back and listened to Neil's snores for a few long breaths, recovering, before she asked, “If you could go back to being human, would you?”

“No. For the first year, I would have.” She smiled softly. “There are things I still miss. Showers, for one. The idea that I could have a baby. Breathing. Maybe I'll always miss breathing. It's such a little thing, but it was so central to my life. I bet you don't notice. I wouldn't have. Didn't. But now I notice the absence of breathing all the time. Even more than the absence of eating, of shared meals, of cooking.”

Chrystal had always been interested in food. “You were a really good cook.”

“Thanks.” Chrystal put her hand back out, open. An invitation.

Nona took it, squeezed it, and let the hand go. It felt very close to human, but slightly more fluid and warmer than her hand. “Sleeping? Do you miss sleeping?”

“Sometimes we dream.”

Nona rummaged in the pack for a snack, and found a handful of nuts. “Really? Is it the same as your old dreaming?”

“No. It usually happens when I'm alone, or when Katherine and I meditate. She's really into that. I think it's how this Katherine survived. The first one didn't have such good tools. Katherine once told me that her first incarnation might have died of her own dreams.”

Nona shivered. “Dreams?”

“You know how, in a dream, strange things line up in your head? You just wake up and you know something? Or you wake up and you remember that you were with someone you hadn't seen in ages doing something really strange, like flying through tunnels or running after a train or digging a hole to the end of the world?”

“I never dreamed I'd dig to the end of the world. But yes, I know what you mean.”

“I think it's like human dreams. It's our old memories settling in. I can remember most of the things that ever happened to me, which I couldn't do before, of course. Sometimes it's insights based on that. For example, one day I woke up and realized that the reason I wanted a big family was because living with just my mother had been so stifling.”

“I could have told you that,” Nona said softly.

Chrystal laughed. “I wouldn't have believed you.”

Footsteps announced the return of the others. As soon as they arrived, Yi said, “The caves go on and on. We ran through part of them, and we think they go along the bottom of the whole mountain range.”

“They probably do.”

Everyone else glanced at Neil, who had sat up. “I think,” he said slowly, “I think I may have figured it out.”

The Colorima's face went still for a moment, and then reformed into a patient smile. “What do you think happened? How did these caves get made?”

“Just a minute.” Neil got up and went to the privy and drank water, almost exactly repeating the things Nona had done. He took out his slate and jotted a few notes on it. He drew a picture, being very careful. He kept his head down, not looking at any of them, his focus completely gone inside of himself somewhere.

He erased twice and started over.

Nona didn't want to interrupt him. She wasn't even sure she could—he was so focused. She did her best to imitate Chrystal, who looked quietly curious and patient as she watched Neil. The only sound was the pen on Neil's slate, the humans breathing, and somewhere, a drip of water.

CHAPTER SIXTY-NINE

CHARLIE

Even though it was the wee hours of the morning when Charlie landed at the station, Gerry came running out of her dispatch hut to greet him. She looked shocked, her hair a mess and her clothes rumpled. She leaned in and gave him a huge, sloppy hug.

He clutched her to him, her spine sharp and thin under his hands, as she sobbed. After she slowed down some, he held her a little away from him. “When did you last eat?”

“It was awful. Did you see it? All the ships?”

He swallowed. “I did. Come home with me. I need to fix Cricket dinner, and then can I leave her with you?”

“They killed them all.”

He started walking, looking over his shoulder to be sure she followed.

“And Manna Springs. Why did they burn the town? Why didn't they blow
us
up? I was so afraid.”

“The town was infested with revolutionaries, and the Next appear to have run out of patience. The sky had the same problem, although there's no way to know how many of those ships were innocent. They didn't blow us up, or you up, because we aren't fighting them.”

“They killed so many people.”

He stopped and turned around, facing her. “I know. We're alive. You and me. Almost everyone who lives here is alive. If the Shining Revolution hadn't attacked the Next, they would still be alive. If the Shining Revolution had started a war here, a lot of the life on Lym would have died. We might have had to start over. Or we might not even be able to. We might all be dead.”

Her eyes had gone wide, and her mouth had fallen open.

“It's true.”

“Surely you're not telling me the Next were defending us?”

Her words stopped him. “I suppose they were, in a way. But it's not that simple.” He paused, remembering Farro's conversation. They were all shocked. He spoke slowly. “Right now, we can both breathe the fresh clean air of a world at peace. We can rebuild the damned town. So I'm going to feed Cricket, and I'm going to feed you, and I'm going to sleep the sleep of the living until the sun comes up, and then I'm going to go find out what's in those caves.”

“I can't go?”

“We need you here.”

“Oh. And I have to watch Cricket.”

“Thank you.” He fell silent and was glad when she did the same. On the way, he spotted a tharp and pulled his stunner, stunning it long enough to pick it up and break its neck. Cricket's dinner.

He gave the dead animal to her in the kitchen, raw. He had never done that before, but she had been through so much. While she crunched bones, he made the rest of her dinner and set some soup heating for himself and Gerry.

Three hours later Charlie woke to find Gerry passed out in the big chair, Cricket curled on the floor between them. He made a cup of stim and downed it as fast as he could, feeling the warm drink sink into his body. Careful not to wake the sleeping dispatcher, he took Cricket out for a brief walk under the fading starlight of early morning. The air smelled of damp leaves and the early rot of fall.

When he took her back, the tongat gave him a baleful look, obviously aware that he was leaving her.

He squatted and looked into her eyes. “I have no idea how you always know my intentions.”

If she did, she didn't answer. She curled up close to Gerry and regarded him in silence.

He felt as guilty leaving her as he had felt leaving Manny.