Speak (The Voice trilogy Book 2) (16 page)

              “None of it is ugly,” I offer, reaching up to wipe my thumb across his lips. “You could never
be
ugly, Rhys. You are too good.” I scoot closer to him and try to push myself into his chest, but he holds me back.

              “Not tonight,” he whispers with a kiss to my head. “You are drunk and angry.”

              “I am not angry.”

              “Well, maybe that is because you are drunk, but either way I will not take advantage of you tonight.”

              “It’s not taking advantage if I want it.”

              “You may say that, but tomorrow you will wake up and you will likely be angry if you remember any of this, and hurting from all those shots. How many did you two have anyway?”

              “I don’t know, too many.”

              “Well, you are going to feel them tomorrow.”

              “I would rather feel something else.”

              I will see what I can do about that in the morning, but now you need to get some rest. Your eyelids look like they are about to drop like steel doors. This has been a very trying day. Now sleep, Sophie.” I drift on a whiskey soaked carpet into a dream state of utter intoxication and twisted images.

              Feathers dance across my skin and a lovely light coaxes me from my rest. Flowing across my body like cascades from a gentle waterfall, trails of heat and subtle friction crisscross my body. A warm breeze on my neck travels down my body, over the swell of my breasts and across my bare hips. A slight moan escapes my chest and I am suddenly aware of my sleeping body and the fingers that slide around my curves. I crack my eyes open just a sliver to see Rhys’ head sink between my legs.

              “Good morning, Beautiful,” he purrs before his tongue darts over my clit and I am sprung awake in the most lovely way.

              “Rhys, what are you doing?” My voice is hoarse and faint. He peeks from between my thighs and grins.

              “You have turned my world upside down. It’s only fair I do the same to you.” His tongue wraps around my red hot clit and fans the flames. Twisting in tight circles, he laps at my pearl before pulling it into his mouth and sucking me until I scream.

              “Oh my God, you have!” I pant as his lips pop off my clit and blood returns to the rest of my body. A cool breeze rushes over me as he opens me with his fingers. I am hardly awake and yet my body is already in overdrive, throbbing drowsily, a racing pulse slowed only by my heavy, leaden limbs.

              Sliding his velvet fingers along my pussy, my core aches, and blood pounds in my veins like a drum line, I cannot hold on any longer. When he slips two fingers into my heat and presses his palm down on my belly, everything in my body that ever has been or ever will be, ignites in a thunderous explosion that rips through me. Violently, my body arches away from the bed, held down only by Rhys’ palm, his fingers pump in and out of me as I am torn to shreds and wetness gushes between my legs as he presses hard on my clit.

              “I cannot live without you, Sophie,” he whispers as his hands coax every ounce of energy from my trembling body. Crash after violent crash rings between my ears as my body is torn apart by the most excruciating ecstasy “I have never felt like this,” he pants, working me over. “I never thought I could feel like this.” He rushes into me and sinks knuckle deep, cupping my sex in his hand. A mere flick of his finger sets me off again and I scream out, collapsing into his hands. “Yes, Sophie, my God, you are beautiful. Let it go. Let it all go.” My legs start to shake as he pumps back into me, swiping across my mons with his warm tongue. I know that I can’t take much more, I will surely be torn to shreds and as he lowers his head one last time, I know that I am done for. A quick swipe over my, poor, swollen clit before he spears me with his tongue, lapping at my slick, puffy sex.

              The room is filled with the sounds of his tongue rolling across my flesh, his slick fingers pumping my throbbing pussy, and a faint whimper as his fingers glide in a lazy loop. He sucks my swollen nub between his hollow cheeks and presses his palm between my hips again. Every sensation in the world is directed to that small spot, my smoldering core, now a swirling vortex of such intense energy that my body trembles as the last violent explosions ring on high. Tears stream down my face and my body cries out for mercy. My body jerks and seizes as his fingers slip from my folds. I climb the bed, away from him. Too raw, unable to take even the slightest touch. My body crackles and burns while I struggle to gain my breath. My heart races and pounds in my head and I feel completely disconnected. Floating. When I finally open my eyes, his face is lit up with the most amazing, triumphant smile. He reaches out for me and I curl into his arms.

              “That was beautiful,” he murmurs into my hair, tracing circles on my shoulder with his fingers.

              “I think I peed.” I peek up at him, mortified and confused.

              “No, Sophie, that wasn’t pee. That was you coming, harder than ever, and it was hotter than hell. I want to do it again just so I can watch.”

              “No!” I cry before I can stop myself. “Not all the time. My God! I felt like I was being ripped apart. That was the most intense feeling.”

              “Then my job here is done.” He slaps my ass as he hops from the bed.

              “And what was that?” I ask, rolling over, wrapping myself in the soft blue sheets. I watch him stretch his lean body, his arms outstretched, long lengths of muscle pulled taught, his glistening skin tight and smooth.

              “To distract you,” he grins and I am distracted.

              “From what?”

              “Your head.” He stands at the end of the bed as I sit up. My head throbs like a pounding heart resides in my frontal cortex. Damn Whiskey!

              “Ah!” I fall back to the bed and pull the covers up over my head.

              “You go ahead and sleep it off, Beautiful. It is still early. I have to go into the office for a couple of hours, tops.” He pats my head, under the blankets. I groan and close my eyes, blocking out every sliver of light I can manage. “Will you be alright?”

              “Yes,” I moan, “just go.” I snuggle up into his pillow as I hear the shower roar to life. The scruff on his jaw brushes against my cheek when he kisses me goodbye, coloring my dreams.

Chapter 16

              Once I am able to break free from the fog that Rhys left me in, I straighten up the room a bit before heading down to the kitchen, bringing the laptop with me with an idea in mind, but no idea how to execute, or if I really even want to. When I open my email though, the decision is made for me. Greeting me is official bank letterhead and a mountain of legal jargon.The gist being that, the bank will be initiating foreclosure proceedings on my grandmother’s house to cover the remainder of her debt. And there it is, staring back at me in black and white. I am losing the very last thing that ties me to anything, anyone, my life, my family. And I know I have to go. By the time Rhys returns, I have already made all the arrangements, knowing that I had to be set before he returned, lest he try and change my mind. When he returns, he finds me upstairs, quietly packing, completely unprepared to face him.

              “What are you doing, Beautiful?” He stands in the door, watching shrewdly, and I find it impossible to meet his eyes.

             
“The bank has started foreclosure proceedings against my grandmother’s house. I need to go home and take care of things. I am booked on a flight tonight.” I don’t want to look him in the face so I occupy myself with packing, tossing random items into my luggage, moving aimlessly between the bathroom and bedroom. The whole time I mill about, he stands, stock still, holding up the door frame as I move through, in and out, not stopping for a touch of his hand, or the brush of his lips. I must keep moving. “My flight leaves at six,” I say as I breeze past him again. He reaches out and stops me, swinging me around to meet his pain filled eyes.

              “What the fuck are you talking about? Why did you do all of this without talking to me? I was only gone for a couple of hours.” I reach up and cup his cheek, his skin is so soft when it’s freshly shaved.

              “Rhys, it’s not a big deal really. I just need to take care of a few things. You knew that I wasn’t going to stay here forever. I have a life that I just ran away from and it’s still there, waiting for me to return.”

              “It is a big deal, it’s a very big deal, Sophie. You are running.” I stop and square my shoulders.

              “I am not running.”

              “Then, I will come with you.”

              “No. Rhys. You stay here. Please trust me, this is not goodbye, I’m not running away. I just need to go home for a while. I need to settle my grandmother’s affairs, I need to face reality. I can’t hide here forever.” I couldn’t possibly tell him that I need some distance, necessary distance between us so I can think straight, and rationally. I am so consumed by him that I am not sure if what I am doing is right. It feels so right most of the time. But when I really stop and think about how I got here, how I came to New York, I was running; running to Rhys just like I ran to Collin. I do not want to do that. I never will be dependent again. I will not be in a situation that I cannot climb out of on my own two feet with my head held high. This is a dangerous scenario with Rhys. I am losing myself, and if I allow myself to fall any further, I know I will never recover.

              “It doesn’t feel right, Sophie. How long will you be gone?”  I don’t know the answer to that. If I did it would surely frighten me. With everything that has happened this week, and Olivia’s admission, I am confused and running scared.

              “I am not sure, I bought a one way ticket. I don’t live here, Rhys.” The thought of leaving is scary enough, but the thought of never coming back physically hurts. I shake it off. It won’t be as serious as that. I just need some space and a little time to clear my head, to think about what I really want, to let the fog lift so I can see clearly again.

              “One way?” Breath rushes from his chest as he sits at the edge of the bed looking like he has just had the wind knocked out of him. “Is this about last night? About Nadja? If it is, tell me, tell me so I can fix it. Tell me what I can do to make you stay.” I lie as easily as the breath that fills my lungs. I lie through my teeth.

              “No, Rhys. It is not about her or any of it. I just need to go home and see to my life.”

              “Aren’t you going to take your watch?”

              “I don’t know, Rhys, maybe it would be best if I left it here, with you.”

              “No Sophie, that is a gift for you and I want you to have it. I want you to wear it. Please.”

              “It’s just so…flashy. I feel like I shouldn’t accept it.”

              “Why?” Exasperation and desperation twist through his tone.

              “It’s too much, Rhys. I have never gotten a gift like this. I don’t feel comfortable wearing it.”

              “Well, it seems I can’t do anything right these days,” he huffs, stomping down the stairs, leaving me to finish stuffing my bag. I cannot believe that he is being this way. Irritated and strung high on adrenaline, I lose my focus and stand in the middle of the room, searching for my last train of thought, the next task on my to-do list. I am struck by the starkness of the room, for the first time as I look around I notice what is not there. My room is full of my things, pictures and mementos, things that make me feel comfortable. There is nothing here. No defining items, no personal treasures, there is nothing here that says anything about Rhys. And as I take an inventory, I begin to wonder if I really know anything about him.

              Nadja was right, I only know what he wants me to know, what he has allowed me to see, until she blew it all out of the water. She forced his hand. The whole situation swirls in my muddled head, the sex, the women, the videos. I knew he had a past, knew he had a reputation. But for brief moments, he felt like he was actually mine. That was
my
scent that wrapped his sweating body after a long session of love making. That was
my
crooked smile, a mere flash and I forget how to breathe. That was
my
hard body pressed against his, our pulses pounding to a private rhythm. But she took it all away. She took what was mine and showed me that it never belonged to me. That it never would. Rhys could no more belong to me than he did to anyone else. She was right. He is a man unto himself and when faced with a bigger, better challenge would surely move swiftly to secure the opportunity.

              Who am I kidding? What have I been doing? The sudden threat of losing him for good strangles me and I flit into the bathroom. I don’t want him to forget me so easily. It can’t all be so flippant and casual. I will stay on his mind, as he will surely be on mine. I spray my gardenia body spray into his top drawer and then over both of his pillows before I zip up my bag and head towards the lion’s den. I have to confront him as he tends to his superficial wounds and a bruised ego.

              I stand in the doorway and watch him pace like a wild cat. Back and forth over the heavily worn Oriental rug, his feet beat a pattern that is well paced. He links his hands behind his neck and stretches his neck, closing his eyes and suddenly I notice the dark circles. The shadow of exhaustion and unrest is all over him, from his tense shoulders and locked knees to his white knuckles and squared stance. He radiates tension and frustration and I am overcome by the sight of him so clearly out of his comfort zone, so far away from his normal strangle hold on control. It couldn’t all stem from me leaving. He slumps down in his chair and lets his heavy fists fall to the desk.

              “Damn it,” he mutters under his breath before he looks up and catches me watching. “Come here, Beautiful.” He pulls me into his orbit, trapping me with his powerful legs. He wraps his arms around my hips and pulls me closer, resting his forehead against my belly. “I really don’t want to lose you. What can I do?”

              “There is nothing you can do, Rhys. This just isn’t about you.” He looks up into my eyes, broken. “This is about me. I have to take care of myself. And there is no better time than the present. Please, try to understand that.” His hands slide up my back and around my shoulders before he stands and wraps me in his arms. I press my face to his solid chest and listen for the familiar beat of his strong heart. Slow and steady it pounds in his chest, mirroring the rise and fall of his breath. I let my hands slide around his back and across his broad shoulders. A faint moan rumbles in his throat as I run my fingers through his hair and across his neck. His eyes are smoldering as he bends down and presses his candy sweet lips to my waiting mouth.

              “You will forgive me, Sophie, if I do not give up so easily. Let’s have dinner, put the flight off just until tomorrow,” he whispers, placing a heavy kiss on my shoulder, and another at the base of my throat. “Charlie will pick you up as soon as my meeting is over. We will talk about all of this.” He continues to cover me with soft, torturous kisses while breaking down my resolve. “You don’t have to leave. We can figure this out together.” One last warm kiss behind my ear and his deep green eyes beg for my relent. “Please, Sophie.” Our lips meet and a spark startles me, snapping me into the moment. He is smooth, but I am determined, and feel stronger with every kiss that tries to break me down. “Stay.” One last whisper.  I smile sweetly as he grabs his keys, careful not to answer. “Charlie will be back to pick you up, Sophie. We will handle this. I promise. Trust me.”

              At four o’clock, I am dressed and ready, one last check in the mirror, one last check of my resolve and I head down to meet the car, and Charlie.

              “Hello, Charlie.” I love seeing Charlie, he is so genuine and level headed compared to some of the craziness I have encountered in Rhys’ circle of friends. He opens the door for me, as the doorman loads my bags. I whisper my special request into Charlie’s blushing ear and slide an envelope into his hand. “After you drop me off, if you don’t mind, Charlie.” He looks down on the unmarked envelope and struggles to find a smile. I search his eyes for that loyalty I know is the cornerstone of his personality, and he relents, taking the envelope and tipping his cap, before closing the door behind me.

              I sip on my white wine and wait. My hands a restless and my foot taps unbidden at the ground. I am anxious about everything. How do you know you are making the right choice? What if this is a huge mistake? I roll the watch around my wrist, circle after circle, playing with my gift. It is heavy and cold, but it’s from Rhys. Right now it is all I have. The rose gold sparkles against my tan skin, my freckles make constellations around the watch face like a sparkling moon, a ring of diamonds circles a shimmering face of blush colored pearl. Hands point at diamond encrusted Roman numerals, and I couldn’t tell what time it was if my life depended on it. But it is beautiful. The most generous gift I have ever been given and I am glad to have a piece of Rhys as we lift into the air and I leave New York behind me.

                                          ***

              “Charlie.” Cheeks aflame, he hands me an unmarked envelope in silence, before he scratches his jaw and takes a seat in the booth. I turn the envelope over in my hands, it is not sealed, and there is no doubt where it came from. Her scent wafts from the folded paper within.

             
“Did Sophie get off safe?” I slug back the remainder of my scotch and gird myself for his explanation. Turning the envelope over in my hand, I do not want to read it for fear that it says, what I know it says. She is gone. She left, I never thought she would really leave.

              Shaking his head in confusion, he tries to explain, but there is nothing to be said, she made her choice. I drop my fist to the table with more force than I mean to, knocking the glasses about. Charlie’s eyes grow wide and I put my hands up in surrender, in apology, I don’t know, in disbelief. She has changed her mind.  I don’t bother with the envelope or what is inside, I can guess. I stuff it into the inside pocket of my jacket and head for the car with Charlie in tow.