Speak Bird Speak Again (25 page)

"Yes."

(Sahin,
meanwhile, was listening, and since he was already experienced, he
mused to himself that his brother had been taken in already.)

"Agreed,"
said the eldest brother. "Come over here and let me pay you the
bridewealth for the forty girls. Where are we to meet you?"

"First
pay me the bridewealth," she answered, "and tomorrow, go
and reserve a certain public bath for us at your expense. Stand guard
at the gate, and as we go in you yourself can count us one by one -
all forty of us. We'll go into the baths and bathe, and after we come
out each of you will take his bride home by the hand."

"Just
like that?" he wondered.

"Of
course," she assured him.

He
brought out a blanket, she spread it, and - count, count, count - he
counted one hundred Ottoman gold coins for each girl. When he had
finished counting out the money, she took it and went straight out.
Calling her friends over, she said, "Sit here! Sit under this
tree! Each of you open your hand and receive your bridewealth."

"Eh!"
they protested, "You so and so! Did you ruin your reputation?"

"No
one's to say anything," she responded. "Each of you will
take her bridewealth without making a sound." Giving each of
them her money, she said, "Come. Let's go home."

After
she had left their place, Sahin said to his brother, "Brother,
she tricked me and took only the food. But she tricked you and got
away with our money."

"Who,
me?" the brother declared, "Trick me? Tomorrow you'll see."

The
next day the brothers stayed at home. They went and reserved the
baths at their own expense, and the eldest stood watch at the door,
waiting for the girls to arrive. Meanwhile, the vizier's daughter had
gotten up the next day, gathered all the girls, the king's daughter
among them, and, leading them in front of her, headed for the bath
with them. And behold! there was our effendi guarding the door. As
they were going in, he counted them one by one. Count, count, he
counted them all - exactly forty.

Going
into the baths, the girls bathed and enjoyed themselves. But after
they had finished bathing and put on their clothes, she, the clever
one, gave them this advice: "Each of you is to shit in the tub
she has bathed in, and let's line the tubs up all in a row."
Each of them shat in her tub, and they arranged them neatly in a row,
all forty of them. Now the baths had another door, away from the
entrance. "Follow me this way," urged the vizier's
daughter, and they all hurried out.

The
eldest brother waited an hour, two, three, then four, but the girls
did not emerge. "Eh? he said, "They're taking a long time
about it."

"Brother,"
said Sahin, "they're gone."

"But
listen!" he replied, "Where could she have gone? They all
went inside the bathhouse together."

"All
right," said Sahin, "let's go in and see."

Going
into the bathhouse, brother, they found the owner inside.

"Where
did the girls who came into the bathhouse go?"

"O
uncle!" replied the owner, "They've been gone a long time."

"And
how could they have left?" asked the eldest brother.

"They
left by that door," he replied.

Now,
Sahin, who was experienced, looked in the bathing place and saw the
tubs all lined up.

"Brother!"
he called out.

"Yes.
What is it?"

"Come
here and take a look," he answered. "Here are the forty!
Take a good look! See how she had them arranged so neatly?"

Finally
the brothers went back home, wondering to themselves, "And now,
what are we going to do?"

"Leave
them to me!" volunteered Sahin. "I'll take care of them."

The
next day Sahin disguised himself as an old lady. Wearing an old
woman's dress, he put a beaded rosary around his neck and headed for
the city. The daughter of the vizier, meanwhile, had gathered the
girls, and she was sitting with them in a room above the street. As
he was coming from afar, she saw and recognized him. She winked to
her friends, saying, "I'll go call him, and you chime in with,
'Here's our aunt! Welcome to our aunt!'" As soon as she saw him
draw near, she opened the door and came out running. "Welcome,
welcome, welcome to our aunty! Welcome, aunty!" And, taking him
by the hand, she pulled him inside to where they were. "Welcome
to our aunty!" they clamored, locking the door. "Welcome to
our aunty!"

"Now,
girls, take off your clothes," urged the vizier's daughter.
"Take off your clothes. It's been a long time since we've had
our clothes washed by our aunty's own hands. Let her wash our
clothes!"

"By
Allah, I'm tired," protested Sahin. "By Allah, I can't do
it."

"By
Allah, you must do it, aunty," they insisted. "It's been
such a long time since we've had our clothes washed by our aunty's
hands."

She
made all forty girls take off their clothes, each of them leaving on
only enough to cover her modesty, and she handed the clothes to him.
He washed clothes till noon.

"Come
girls," said the vizier's daughter. "By Allah, it's been
such a

long
time since our aunty has bathed us with her own hands. Let her bathe
us!"

Each
of them put on a wrap and sat down, and he went around bathing them
in turn. By the time he had finished bathing them all, what a
condition he was in! He was exhausted.

When
he had finished with one, she would get up and go put on her clothes.
The vizier's daughter would then wink at her and whisper that she
should take the wrap she was wearing, fold it over, twist it, and tie
a knot at one end so that it was like a whip. When all forty girls
had finished bathing, the leader spoke out, "Eh, aunty! Hey,
girls, she has just bathed us, and we must bathe her in return."

"No,
niece!" he protested. "I don't need a bath! For the sake of
..."

"Impossible,
aunty!" insisted the vizier's daughter. "By Allah, this
can't be. Eh! You bathe and bathe all of us, and we don't even bathe
you in return. Come, girls!"

At a
wink from her, they set on him against his will. They were forty.
What could he do? They took hold of him and removed his clothes, and
lo and behold! he was a man. "Eh!" they exclaimed. "This
isn't our aunty. It's a man! Have at him, girls!" And with their
whips, each of them having braided her robe and tied knots in it,
they put Sahin in the middle and descended on his naked body. Hit him
from here, turn him around there, and beat him again on the other
side! All the while he was jumping among them and shouting at the top
of his voice. When she thought he had had enough, she winked at them
to dear a path. As soon as he saw his way open, he opened the door
and dashed out running, wearing only the skin the Lord had given him.

His
brothers were at home, and before they were even aware of it, he
showed up, naked. And what a condition he was in! Up they sprang, as
if possessed. "Hey! What happened to you?" they asked.
"Come! Come! What hit you?"

"Wait
a minute," he answered. "Such and such happened to me."

"And
now," they, asked among themselves, "what can we do?

"Now,
by Allah, answered'Sahin, we have no recourse but for each of us to
ask for the hand of his bride from her father. As for me, I'm going
to ask for her hand. But as soon as she arrives here, I'm going to
kill her. No other punishment will do. I'll show her!"

They
all agreed, each going to ask for his bride's hand from her father,
and the fathers gave their consent.

Now,
the daughter of the minister was something of a devil. She asked her
father, if anyone should come asking for her hand, not to give his
consent before letting her know. When Sahin came to propose, the
father said, "Not until I consult with my daughter first."
The father went to consult with his daughter, and she said, "All
right, give your consent, but on condition that there be a waiting
period of one month so that the bridegroom can have enough time to
buy the wedding clothes and take care of all the other details."

After
the asking for her hand was completed, the minister's daughter waited
until her father had left the house. She then went and put on one of
his suits, wrapped a scarf around the lower part of her face, and,
taking a whip with her, headed for the carpenter's workshop.

"Carpenter!"

"Yes,
Your Excellency?

"In
a while I'll be sending you a concubine. You will observe her height
and make a box to fit her. I want it ready by tomorrow. Otherwise,
I'll have your head cut off. And don't hold her here for two hours!"

"No,
sir. I won't."

She
lashed him twice and left, going directly where? To the halvah
maker's shop.

"Halvah
maker!"

"Yes."

"I'm
going to be sending you a concubine momentarily. You will observe
her. See her shape and her height. You must make me a halvah doll
that looks exactly like her. And don't you keep her here for a couple
of hours or I'll shorten your life!"

"Your
order, O minister," said the man, "will be obeyed."

She
lashed him twice with the whip and left. She went and changed,
putting on her ordinary clothes, then went by the carpenter's shop
and stayed awhile. After that she went and stood by the halvah
maker's shop for a while. Then she went straight home. Changing back
into her father's suit, she took the whip with her and went to the
carpenter.

"Carpenter!"

"Yes,
my lord minister!"

"An
ostrich shorten your life!" responded the girl. "I send you
the concubine, and you hold her here for two hours!"

She
descended on him with the whip, beating him all over.

"Please,
sir!" he pleaded, "it was only because I wanted to make
sure the box was an exact fit."

Leaving
him alone, she headed for the halvah maker's. Him too, she whipped
several times, and then she returned home.

The
next day she sent for her slave and said to him, "Go bring the
wooden box from the carpenter's shop to the halvah maker's. Put the
halvah doll in it, lock it, and bring it to me here."

"Yes,
I'll do it," he answered.

When
the box was brought, she took it in and said to her mother, "Listen,
mother! I'm going to leave this box with you in trust. When the time
comes to take me out of the house and to load up and bring along my
trousseau, you must have this box brought with the trousseau and
placed in the same room where I will be."

"But,
dear daughter!" protested the mother, "What will people
say? The minister's daughter is bringing a wooden box with her
trousseau! YOU will become a laughingstock." I don't know what
else she said [but it was no use].

"This
is not your concern," insisted the daughter. "That's how I
want it."

When
the [bridegroom's family] came to take the bride [out of her father's
house], she was made ready, and the wooden box was brought along with
her trousseau. They took the wooden box and, as she had told them,
placed it m the same room where she was to be. As soon as she came
into the room and the box was brought in, she threw out all the
women. "Go away!" she said. "Each of you must go home
now."

After
she had made everyone leave, she locked the door. Then, dear ones,
she took the doll out of the box. Taking off her clothes, she put
them on the doll, and she placed her gold around its neck. She then
set the doll in her own place on the bridal seat, tied a string
around its neck, and went and hid under the bed, having first
unlocked the door.

Her
husband, meanwhile, was taking his time. He stayed away an hour or
two before he came in. What kind of mood do you think he was in when
he arrived? He was in a foul humor, his sword in hand, ready to kill
her, as if he did not want. to marry her in the first place. As soon
as he passed over the doorstep, he looked in and saw her on the
bridal seat.

"Yes,
yes!" he reproached her. "The first time you abandoned me
on the shelf and took the food, I said to myself it was all right.
The second time you threw me into the toilet and took the food, and I
said all right. The third time you removed my body hair and made me
look like a bride, taking the food with you, and even then I said to
myself it was all right. After all that, you still weren't satisfied.
You tricked us all and took the bridewealth for the forty girls,
leaving each of us a turd in the washtub."

Meanwhile,
as he finished each accusation, she would pull the string and nod the
doll's head.