Spark Of Desire (10 page)

Jessica watched him go. He looked like he’d been saved from the guillotine. One of these days they were going to have a crisis at the store and he’d have to handle it himself. Imagine the paramedics’ surprise when they showed up to find not one but two patients.

“He’s right. You did a good job,” Kevin said.

Jessica felt her heart swell in her chest. He thought she’d done a good job. Was it a good job for a civilian, or for a paramedic hopeful, or should she just take the praise he’d offered? “Thank you.” Turning her face to the side, she let a silly grin creep across her face. A compliment was a compliment, and this one was from Kevin. Her toes curled inside her tennis shoes.

“But you still haven’t told me what happened before.”

Jessica’s ballooning pride crumbled. Before. Mindi. Kevin apparently never forgot anything. “It was nothing.” Then she remembered how hot the parking lot was and how cool and comfortable the store would be.

“It upset you.” Kevin didn’t seem to be willing to let her retreat into the cool and comfortable store.

She shook her head. “It was stupid. I shouldn’t be surprised, but I am. I’m just mad at myself.”

Kevin grabbed her shoulders.

Jessica froze. His hands gripped her and her knees turn to jelly. She wondered if he knew how much of her weight he was supporting.

“Listen to me,” he rumbled. “Whatever happened to put you in that mood, much, much worse things will happen on the job, and you’re going to have to get used to talking to people about it. You can’t keep this stuff down. It can kill you. Why don’t you practice spilling your guts now and tell me what happened?”

Jessica’s mouth felt too dry to speak. She could feel his hands on her in every nerve. Most of the blood in her body must have rushed to her face, but she couldn’t tear her eyes from his. This could be it. He was the perfect distance to lean down and kiss her. Would that make working out with him more difficult, or less?

“I had an argument with a friend,” she stammered.

“That little blonde from Meechan’s?”

Jessica nodded. For an instant she didn’t think she’d be able to stop her head from nodding and it would roll off her shoulders and bounce on the pavement. How would he feel if she lost her head for him right now?

He flushed too. “A friend? That’s it?”

“She’s been a friend for a long time. We went to college together. I guess she never realized I had a reckless streak.” Jessica forced a grin. Her face felt rubbery and numb. “She’s one of the reasons I’m afraid to tell my mom. My mom will be much worse.”

“Oh.” His expression froze in that startled, open-mouthed manner for a moment. Then he coughed. “Well, you did a great job with your patient. I’ve got to go.” He let go of her and stepped back a pace.

Jessica kept herself upright with strength she didn’t know she had. Why was he leaving? Why was he being so strange? “I thought you needed a gift for your niece.”

He stepped off the sidewalk, stumbling when one of his shoes caught on the curb. “I’ll pick it up another time. I’m late for something.” He turned around and strode across the parking lot.

Jessica retreated to the foyer to watch him get into his car and drive away. Nice morning. Great lunch. Fight with Mindi. Startled by Kevin. Old woman in respiratory distress. Weird conversation with Kevin, and now he was fleeing the scene. She’d been up and down so many times in the last hour she felt like she’d ridden the world’s wildest roller coaster and now she felt sick.

Why did he take off? He’d nearly fallen off the sidewalk getting away from her. She must have read him wrong. He hadn’t been anywhere near kissing her. He’d been trying to teach her a lesson. This was part of the job for him. He’d committed himself to helping her whether he liked it or not. Any attraction she thought she felt was one-sided. Spinning around, she hurried to the office before anyone could stop her. She threw herself into her chair and put her hands over her face. Ten weeks until the exam.

* * * *

Kevin gripped the steering wheel like it might get away from him. Which it might because his hands were so sweaty they felt like they would slide off the slick leather. Bobbie had to be wrong. He’d stood there holding her and watching her react. At least as much as he could. His own body had been racing ahead of his mind. If it hadn’t been, he wouldn’t have blundered so horribly.

What had he been thinking, demanding to know what had happened to upset her? He wanted to believe he was preparing her for the job, but he knew full well it had nothing to do with the fire department. He’d wanted to protect her. Someone had hurt her, and he wanted to protect her.

Which was why the brass didn’t want couples in the department. He remembered watching Kate panic at the apartment fire on Jefferson and not understanding why she was throwing such a fit.

Until now.

Would he be able to watch Jessica run into a building or would he try to protect her then, too? What about when the guys started razzing her? Did he have any right to protect her? She was an adult, she’d made her choice to do the job he did and had done for years.

Wasn’t that the other sticky part of this problem? What right did he have to say
I care about you too much to let you do what I do
? He’d convinced Kate that Jack would survive the job, why couldn’t he convince himself? Because he knew too much, that’s why. He knew all too well surviving was the easy part. Staying sane was a little more tricky. If he acknowledged that he loved Jessica, he wouldn’t be able to send her to training and on to the job knowing what she would face.

Plus he’d nearly kissed her. That was the worst of it. He’d stood there like a schmuck, clutching her shoulders, watching her dark eyes dilate and her breath quicken, on the verge of pulling her close and kissing her.

The first mistake had been touching her at all. When he’d grabbed her shoulder to stop her because she’d stormed past him without even seeing him, his entire body had reacted. The more distressed she became, the more he wanted to pull her against him right there between the cards and the magazines and hold her. Later, after watching her deal with that old woman so well, he almost hadn’t been able to let her go outside. He’d been so proud of her. Obviously upset and yet handling a patient like a pro. Assessing the situation and issuing orders without hesitation. Keeping her perimeter under control. Getting rid of disruptive influences so she could keep her patient calm. Getting out of the way when the professionals arrived. She would make a heck of a good paramedic.

Which was another reason he couldn’t have her. If they were a couple, it would affect her ranking. If he were dating her, she might not get into the department, which meant he could protect her from the rigors of the job. But if he did care about her, he would want her to fulfill her dream of becoming a paramedic.

He detoured past Jack’s house, but Jack’s truck was missing from the garage. He needed to talk to somebody, but his first choice apparently wasn’t at home. Driving to his own house, he parked his car in the garage. When he unlocked the door, the house echoed.

He liked his house. Liked the privacy. Liked to be alone.

Why did he find himself wishing Jessica were here to greet him when he came home?

* * * *

“Okay, the curiosity is killing me. What the heck has got you in such a mood?” Bobbie kicked her left foot up on an extra chair in the gym’s little café area. A frighteningly fit, vacuous blond wandered around the room straightening displays of t-shirts and supplements.

Jessica slouched. The gym felt cold now that she’d stopped exercising, and she was tired. Really, really tired. She’d gone for a run again last night after she got home, trying to burn off some stress, and she’d overdone it. Afterward, she’d spent a couple of hours soaking in the tub, turning herself into a prune, to think about the whole stupid argument with Mindi followed by the odd encounter with Kevin. This morning she hadn’t even been able to run because of soreness, and Bobbie had cut her off a couple of times when she went overboard with the machines. Yet, tired and sore as she was, she still felt agitated past a comfortable threshold. “Just a bunch of stupid stuff happened yesterday.”

“Oh?” Bobbie started spinning the cap of her juice bottle in the table. “You were going to look at tools with Kevin, weren’t you?”

“That went okay. Everything just went a little nuts afterward.”

“What happened?”

Jessica stared at the table. “All hell broke loose. Mindi thought I was doing this to catch Kevin, and we ended up having a screaming match in the cash office.”

“Really?” Bobbie leaned forward, still playing with her bottle cap. It seemed to require all of her attention.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if the cash office wasn’t the size of a small walk-in closet. Shouting in a tiny room is a really bad idea.” Jessica had spent part of her soaking time last night looking at old photo albums from college. Lots of pictures of her and Mindi, a few of her working security, more of Mindi headed out on dates with security guys.

“But you’re not.”

Jessica looked up. Bobbie hadn’t stopped watching herself spin her bottle cap. “Not what?”

“Not trying to catch Kevin.”

Jessica groaned, clenching her fists. “That was the other part of the waking nightmare that was yesterday.” She craved his approval like she’d craved her father’s as a little girl and like she’d craved the attention of her high school’s star linebacker who had been her first serious crush. The linebacker had never given her more than a puzzled glance when she happened to stumble across his path. Kevin gave her more than puzzled looks, but she didn’t understand what the looks he gave her meant half the time. She’d spent some soaking time considering that, too. Without knowing Kevin’s intentions, she couldn’t
catch
him, but she wouldn’t mind if he seemed interested in hooking her. Which, at the moment, he didn’t. “I don’t think he likes me.”

“Why?”

“He just, well, he acts weird around me sometimes. We had a good conversation over lunch and then after the argument with Mindi, he forced me to tell him what happened. Then he jumped into his car and drove away.”

“Oh yeah?” Bobbie took a swig from her juice.

Jessica nodded.

“Did he say anything?” Bobbie bit her lip.

“He said I did a great job with my patient, and he had to go. He didn’t even get the gift he said he needed for his niece.” Jessica stared at the table top.

“What patient?”

“Oh, a little old lady had trouble breathing. We had to call 911. She’s okay. They didn’t even keep her overnight.” Jessica sighed. “Anyway I ended up handling the incident, and he said I did a good job, but he still took off like a shot.”

“He wouldn’t have said you did good if you hadn’t. He’s not that nice.” Bobbie slid back in her chair and finished off her juice. “I’m sure he likes you fine. He likes women like you.”

Jessica looked up. “Women like me?”

“You know. Women who act like women.”

Jessica plucked at her sweaty t-shirt. “I sure am winning awards in that area. Liz Hurley. watch out.”

“No, never mind. I’m sure he likes you. He wouldn’t have offered to help you if he didn’t like you.”

“Are you sure he didn’t just feel sorry for me? It was my birthday. I was a little hysterical when he told me I only had a year before the cut off age.”

“You’re thirty? You don’t look that old.”

“Thanks,” Jessica muttered. She’d been hearing that all her life. About now she should start taking it as a sincere compliment. “I guess I should mean that. I’ve always looked young.”

“Don’t worry. Working for the fire department adds years pretty fast.” Bobbie sat up. “Hey, I found out something you might be interested in. Kevin’s birthday is coming up. He’s turning thirty-seven on the sixteenth.”

“So he’s just thirty-seven this summer.” Jessica nodded. Seven years difference. Not that much. Not when she considered her parents were twelve years apart. Of course, it didn’t matter. Despite what Bobbie said, she felt pretty sure, deep down, Kevin didn’t like her.

“You could—” Bobbie hesitated. “You could throw him a surprise birthday party.”

“A birthday party? Would he like that?” Jessica frowned. She loved hosting parties, but she hated being the focus of them. Kevin didn’t strike her as the type who liked it either.

“Who doesn’t love having a party thrown for them? Look, we’ll order some pizzas, get a keg, call up the guys, and we’re all set.”