Space Wrangler (20 page)

Thoughts of Sensie and Rick brought the first wave of hope she had felt in hours. They would take care of her. Would bundle her off in the
Drifter
and distract her with insults and lovemaking and adventure. Rick would tell her what she needed to hear. He'd say the Sea-Mont sentient was wrong to resist her efforts. It was an amazing machine, but was it infallible? No. The idea that it wouldn't engage, even on a theoretical level, reflected badly on it, and did
not
mean Alexia's quest had ended.

Rick would say all the right things.
Do
all the right things. Strong arms, demanding mouth, powerful reminders of how alive they could feel together. She had tried to be strong. Tried to pretend their night together could be enjoyed and then dismissed. But it wasn't true.

She craved him now, even knowing she couldn't have him. Because as much as she needed to be with him,
he
needed to be away from her. He couldn't afford a relationship, much less one with a train wreck like Alexia Montoya. He had traveled millions of miles—
literally
—to escape those kinds of ties.

Smart move, cowboy
, she told him sadly as she climbed into David Seaton's bed.
I wish I could escape too. But with
you.
Not alone. I'm so, so tired of being alone.

She tossed and turned, dreaming the dreams of a defeated woman. The most vivid took place at her family's home in Los Altos. She had had this one many times, where she was a child cowering in her bedroom as the house blazed with a raging fire around her. She couldn't get the door open. Couldn't get the window open, even though her father, her mother and her brother were shouting instructions to her. She was roasting alive and they were powerless to help her.

Awaking in a salty sweat, she knew her only hope was to get off this platform. She could beg TJ to send her back through the sinkhole in exchange for her forty-five percent of the company. He'd go for it, wouldn't he? She hadn't imagined the flash of greed in his eyes when she first suggested it. He wanted that kind of power so much he could taste it.

Or she could locate Zeke Angelus—a.k.a. the smuggler—and buy her way back to Earth. She couldn't use Gabrielle Rousseau as her intermediary, since the communications director was reportedly off-platform for a training exercise on Destry. But surely Lana would know how to contact the black market. And if not Lana, then maybe Barbara? She was competent and well-informed, thanks to her position as TJ's secretary. And she clearly felt threatened by Alexia, knowing that if TJ ever married the Montoya heiress, Barbara's position as mistress would crash and burn.

So Barbara, as suspicious and standoffish as she had seemed, was an ally of sorts. Maybe even better than the mysterious Gabrielle, so famous for her beauty but also for her masochistic tendencies, exemplified by her willingness to let TJ Seaton screw her, over and over, in every possible sense.

The smuggler can get you home safely. Or if you dared, you could ask him to contact Rick. Get him to come for you. Hide you. Take you to Sector Fourteen. Save you from yourself.

None of it made sense and so, when a soft knock sounded at the door, and she knew it was TJ, she didn't hesitate for a second. If they were really family, they needed to turn toward each other, not away. And definitely not against.

So she hastily dressed herself in jeans and a loose T-shirt, then went to the door to let him in.

A thousand possibilities had run through her head, but this TJ who stood before her now was different, with an aloof sadness she had never seen, not in anyone. Not even in the mirror.

“Hi,” she said warily. “Are you okay?”

He took a deep breath. Then exhaled. Then exhaled again.

Finally, he said simply, “I have bad news.”

“Oh God.” She took his hand and pulled him into the living room, refusing to believe it was about Rick. The
Drifter
. Sensie. Or even David Seaton, as much as she hated him. “Tell me.”

“We lost someone in the sinkhole. I'm so sorry, Lexie.”

“What?” She shook her head, refusing to accept his words. For all the images that had run through her mind—the
Drifter
damaged in a thug battle; David clutching his heart, his eyes rolling up into his skull; the Titans awakening with a furious attack—this had never even skirted her imagination. “Someone from the platform? Or from E-side?”

TJ hesitated, then touched her cheek. “It was Jamie, sweetheart. I'm so sorry.”

“Jamie?” She drew back, confused. Almost certain she was still dreaming. This didn't make sense. Jamie wasn't scheduled to leave for another seven months. “You're wrong,” she told him bluntly.

“Come here.” Enveloping her in strong arms and sympathy, he murmured, “It happened last night. She got word her father was dying. She left within minutes. No time to say goodbye. Not to anyone. And then…” His voice swelled with pain and passion. “Damn that godforsaken sinkhole to hell.”

Chapter Fourteen

She sat at the dining table with TJ, listening to his words without really hearing them. It didn't make sense. She had spoken with Jamie—laughed with Jamie—less than twenty-four hours ago. And what had they laughed about? Nothing. Just a silly joke about Carlos the nurse, who had called Alexia “ma'am” when they ran into each other at the gym. It had seemed so hilarious, and now…

“What happens now?” she asked TJ in quiet misery. “How can we possibly tell everyone about this? It will devastate them. They'll want to do something. Anything. But there's nothing. Oh God, I remember this feeling.”

“I know.” He gripped both her hands. “I know, Lexie. Believe me.”

“She has tons of family, you know. Have they been informed?”

He nodded. “That's all taken care of. We're used to it here, you know. I don't mean to sound callous, but we have procedures. If we didn't, we'd go mad.”

His words made sense, yet she couldn't imagine a procedure, however beneficent, that could soften this blow for a family.

“Her father is dying? And now this? That poor family. We have to do something.”

His blue eyes challenged her, not in a cruel way, but almost as though guiding her into the light. And of course he was right. There wasn't anything they could do for that family. At least, not for now. Alexia's company would pay them Jamie's salary every month, but she knew from bitter experience they didn't want money.

They wanted Jamie.

“I should go to the Trading Post. Unless you think I'd be intruding. I just don't know.” She stared into his eyes. “What should I do?”

Rather than answering right away, he stood and pulled her to her feet. “Let's take care of
you
first, okay? She was your friend. I'm so sorry, Lexie. And I'm so sorry about last night—”

“It's forgotten. You're here now, and that's what matters.” She flashed a tearful smile. “No more hand jobs, though. You obviously don't appreciate them.”

“Fuck.” He pulled her hard against his chest. “I don't deserve you.”

“But you're stuck with me.”

“And vice versa.” His tone lightened when he added, “There's some good news too, Lex. I don't know if this is the time—”

“Seriously? I
need
it.”

“We re-established communication with the
Drifter
a few hours ago. It seems they've navigated the asteroid ring without any damage. That's quite a coup for Rick. He's safe and sound, Lex. And on his way to Sector Fourteen.”

“The asteroid ring?” Her heart almost stopped. She had heard vague details about that dangerous barrier, but hadn't put two and two together. Hadn't realized he needed to battle his way through it. And so she had seen Rick's trip as an adventure, but not a life-threatening one.

TJ touched her cheek. “It's a mine field, almost literally. But he navigated like a pro. I'm surprised…well, never mind. I just figured you were worried, but I'm glad you weren't. You've got enough on your plate, and I haven't made it any easier. I really am ashamed of myself for that.”

She took a breath, unable to track his words, but knowing she should let him off the hook. Sure, he had been a jerk, but it paled in comparison to Jamie's predicament. And the thought that Rick might have been killed? If only she had known the risk, she would have seduced him into staying. Or gone with him. Or at least, she would have told him how she felt, so he'd have known at the end that he was loved.

Get a grip! He's fine. And the poor guy doesn't
want
to be loved, remember?

She squared her shoulders. “Tell me what I can do to help with Jamie. The bio-girls must be devastated. Especially Lana and Kai. And you too, right? She always said such wonderful things about you.”

“We were close,” he admitted. “In some ways…well, never mind. I'm just glad you and I aren't fighting. Because I'll need you for this. It's always hard, but this time's worse. So having you by my side at the memorial service means the world to me.” He cleared his throat. “I'll pick you up at six—”

“Today?” She stared in disbelief. “You're saying there's a service today? For Jamie?” Before TJ could confirm it, she started pacing, completely confounded. “I don't get this. She's been missing for less than what? Ten hours? The capsule will keep her alive for two weeks at a minimum. We
all
agree on that. This is nuts!”

“Hey!” TJ's voice was firm and commanding. “I know it's a shock, but this is how we do things here. You need to respect it.”

“Respect it? Why don't we just have her declared dead right this minute? Why wait until six o'clock?”

TJ's expression hardened. “Maybe I'll just go without you then. You'll just make things worse. For all of us.”

She stared at him, brokenhearted at the finality in his attitude. “Jamie isn't dead, TJ. It's insane anyone's thinking that way already. It's too soon.”

His blue eyes flashed, and she thought he was going to erupt in anger. Or worse, in the kind of hurtful disdain he had shown her more than once. But instead, he walked over to her and said quietly, “Do you remember what you said about Jamie? That you wished you hadn't been so—well, so forthright with your opinions about the sinkhole to her? Because she really had no choice in the matter. She had to transit one last time no matter what. It was the elephant in the room for her—for everyone here. Except the elephant is really a savage beast waiting to devour us if we dare try to get home.”

Alexia's heart sank. It was true. She couldn't relate to this precarious world of sinkholes and asteroid rings. She was an Earth-based zealot, emboldened by dangers she only thought she understood. But she didn't live it, not really. Not like Lana and Kai and TJ.

And Jamie.

TJ rested his hands on her shoulders and massaged them gently. “Take a little time. Think about it. If you don't attend the memorial, everyone will understand. But if you're there, it'll mean so much.”

“I have to go. I just wish…”

“I know.” He brushed his lips across her forehead. “For what it's worth, I agree with you. We should wait two weeks. No more, but also no less.”

She licked her lips. “Then why so soon?”

He shrugged. “Like I said, it's real to them. They need closure in a way we can't understand. And it's something else, Lexie. I don't mean to sound shallow, but there's an element of—well, of bizarre calculation, I think. Everyone here is aware of the odds. We lose X percent of our employees per year. And even though it's crazy, it feels like Jamie just used up a slot for them.”

“Oh God, no.”

“They hate themselves for it, believe me. It's like she's some human sacrifice to a soulless idol. They need to get past it. Otherwise, they can't live with themselves.”

She leaned her cheek on his chest. “You really care about them, don't you?”

“I'm responsible for them. And I take it seriously. But care?” He gave a harsh laugh. “If I really cared about them, I'd never let them transit to this hell hole in the first place. Would I?”

She smiled up at him. “Well,
I
really care about
you
. I love you like a brother, and don't be a dick about it this time.”

To her surprise, he smiled—really smiled—for the first time that morning. “Maybe that's enough. Or at least, enough for now. I'm glad you're here, Alexia. It means a lot.”

“I'm glad I'm here too.” She sighed aloud, remembering how angry they had been. And for what?

He wanted marriage. She wanted to find Trent. But for this one, sad day, all they really wanted was to be together. And that's what Trent would have wanted too.

Whooping with joy, Rick unfurled his electronic lasso and snagged another chunk of bio-metal debris while dodging the small, dense asteroids and planetoids that functioned as gatekeepers at the edge of the rocky ring. He
loved
this place. Couldn't get enough of it. Sure, this metal debris couldn't fight back like a thug or a nymph, but damn if their tremendous speed didn't make it the challenge of a lifetime.

He had safely navigated the rambunctious phenomenon, emerging on the far side intact, but rather than heading farther out toward Laredo, had been wrangling the edge for hours, adrenaline driving him almost insane with glee. He never wanted to leave this place. Of course he'd have to do that eventually. He'd run out of fuel. His hold would fill up. He'd start thinking about Alexia again—

“She's fine!
You're
the one in danger,” he told himself with a raucous laugh. “Man, if she could see you now she'd rip you a new one. Unless one of these effing projectiles does it first.”

“Captain?”

“Not now, Sensie! I'm gonna go for that red one over there. It's effing beautiful, don't you think?”

When the computer didn't reply, he stopped long enough to grin up toward the deck's monitor. “What's up?”

“Nothing, Captain. I simply wanted to observe that we will need to pass through this phenomenon again when we return to Destry. Perhaps you would be wiser to delay this gratification until then. You are overfilling the hold as it is, and I cannot accurately project our fuel consumption with these impromptu delays.”

“Just one more. I gotta get that red one. Then we'll get back on course, okay?”

“And you will eat and sleep at the optimal levels?”

“Anything you say. Just give me a couple of minutes.” Still grinning, he reached beyond the open shield, tracked the glowing hunk of debris as it hurtled away, and adjusted his swing accordingly. From the corner of his eye, he saw a two-foot wide asteroid barreling down on him, so he whooped again, fired his laser cannons, and blasted it into bits.

“Now your turn, little doggie,” he announced, using his best Wyoming twang as he and Sensie chased the red derelict. “Don't be so skittish. Come to papa.”

The sinkhole catastrophe had put a few things into perspective for Alexia. She was alive and in the known world, wasn't she? And so were Rick and TJ, the two most important people in her life, except for Trent, and the only ones she could see and touch. Beyond that, there were a couple of hundred folks on the platform and on Destry who were hurting right now. Hurting and confused and frightened. Alexia was a stranger to them, but she could offer something, couldn't she? Because she was a Montoya, and her brother had been swallowed by the sinkhole, and someday soon, she would be forced to transit through the sinkhole at least one last time herself. And so, in a very real sense, she was one of them now.

Her thoughts flashed back to the interviews she had conducted over the last ten days. The men especially had wanted to talk and talk and talk, as if she were their long-lost sister, mother, daughter. Three years on D-side took its toll, and while some of them insisted they wanted to stay longer, maybe even permanently, Alexia now knew the policy adopted by Trent and TJ had been correct. A person could get lost out here, not just physically, but spiritually.

It was happening to Rick, wasn't it? And if Alexia didn't go home soon, it would happen to her. She knew that now, and so as she chose the right outfit for the memorial service, and choked down a helping of stew, she also started packing for her own transit through the voracious sinkhole, as a reminder, if nothing else, that this place could never be home.

As TJ Seaton strode toward the building that housed his father's penthouse and thus housed Alexia, there was a spring in his step that hadn't been there in years. He knew he should feel guilty, but instead, felt exuberant. After days of fearing Alexia had fallen in love with Rick Gage, at least on some level, he had discovered the truth today.

She wasn't even
thinking
about the stupid wrangler.

The memory of her blank expression when he'd told her Rick was safely through the asteroid ring still warmed his heart.

Asteroid ring? What asteroid ring?

She hadn't even known he was in danger, and better still, hadn't cared. She wasn't secretly communicating with him, or tracking his progress on a star chart hidden under her bed. Maybe they had experienced a superficial connection, since the wrangler had “saved” her from the storm troopers and had taken her to see the Titans. But Rick wanted to be alone, and Alexia wanted to find Trent. They were just what they appeared to be—casual acquaintances. Nothing more.

TJ had imagined so much between them. Not sex acts, of course. They had both denied that, and neither of them were liars, at least, not when it counted. Nor would either of them lie to a friend.

Still, he had feared the worst.

Now that he knew the truth, he could pursue Alexia with complete confidence. Maybe she loved him like a brother for the moment, but she had lusted once and would lust again. He'd wine and dine her, whisk her back through the sinkhole and escort her around the world, spoiling her rotten. Maybe he'd even give her another run at the sentient, assuming they could do it discreetly. At least now he knew for sure the sentient would give her the right answer. Bluntly. Almost cruelly. With the kind of blessed finality she simply wouldn't accept from anyone or anything else.

“You're acting like a man in love,” he told himself with a laugh when he arrived at the penthouse door. “Remember why you're here. It's a funeral, for God's sake. Plenty of time to seduce her later. Try looking sad, will you?”

It wasn't easy though. Everything was falling into place, and assuming nothing went wrong, he would soon marry this woman, then slap the relationship in his father's face like a gauntlet, daring him to object. And because David Seaton wasn't stupid, he would react well, at least in public. Thus would begin a new life for TJ filled with power and influence, children and love—the next generation of Sea-Mont.