Space Rescue One (31 page)

      "I might be grasping at straws trying to convince you, but you're wrong, too. And you know it. I'm not going to buy any poison for you. If you're going to kill yourself, you'll have to do it without my help."

      Seguma stared at the unattainable ceiling so far off in space from his position. It wouldn't be impossible for him to commit suicide, he realized, if there was a way for him to simply reach up and grasp around the beam except for the distance involved. It was almost like trying to reach for the stars that still mocked mankind's efforts in space. They, too, were as yet unattainable. Painfully, Seguma wheeled himself over to his computer. He spoke into the standing microphone as he resumed his work on what he hoped would be his last achievement. Perhaps he couldn't reach the ceiling, but he had an idea on how mankind might reach the stars without spending years inside a small ship.

***

Shelly ignored the page alarm, preferring to have the extra half-hour of sleep since Richard knew what she was doing. When he woke up, she got up from the bed with him.

      "You heading for the showers?" he asked.

      She answered, "Yes."

      "Take this," he said, handing her his robe. "No sense in making a spectacle of ourselves each morning since it looks like you're not going to obey orders at night."

      "Thanks." Shelly briefly stopped by her quarters to pick up her uniform and a towel. She caught up with Richard before he reached the showers. For a moment, she considered entering a shower stall by herself, then changed her mind and entered the same stall as Richard, shutting the door behind them.

      "What the?' exclaimed Richard.

      "Relax. I just want to continue our conversation. Besides, it's good water conservation until another shipment arrives. I understand we're getting low."

      "Yes, I'm aware of that. Truthfully, I was considering asking everyone to double up with someone fairly soon since we are getting a bit low. So, what are we talking about?"

      "Us. You and me. What else would there be that we should talk about?"

      "Just making sure. Well, go on since you wanted to talk."

      "Since you're so uptight and concerned about my reputation, there is a way to make everything look better."

      "How?" he asked.

      "We could always get married. In name only, that is. Then no one will be able to say anything about me sleeping beside you. If something more should happen while we're in bed, at least you won't feel guilty about it in the morning."

      "Do you realize what you're saying?" he asked.

      "I think I do. Anyway, it's not like we're bound by any marriage since we can't have children until we're no longer stationed in space. We could always have it annulled if things don't work out between us."

      "I thought you only wanted to marry for love?" he asked.

      Shelly didn't answer.

      "Hmmm, maybe I'm dumber than I thought and you are in love. Are you in love with me?"

      Shelly answered, "I'm not sure. Part of me wants to protect you as a shipmate. Part of me feels stupid about how badly I treated you before. I'm not sure how the rest of me feels now. Perhaps I am in love with you. Does it make any difference to you about accepting a marriage to save my reputation? Does it matter whether I care about my reputation or not?"

      "Perhaps it should, but I'm not going to argue about it. I'm not sure about whether we should get married, though."

      "Why? What can it hurt?" she asked.

      Richard answered, "You don't understand everything about me yet."

      "I think I understand enough about you to know that you need someone beside you fighting for your sanity. I don't want to see you lose."

      "I'm not talking about that. I'm suggesting that you don't understand about the rest of me."

      "Such as?" she asked.

      Richard blushed as he stopped lathering himself with soap to stare directly at Shelly.

      She said, "Don't tell me you have another deeply hidden secret."

      "Yes, but I . . . I . . . I'm willing to tell you this one."

      "Well, don't hold me in suspense. What is it?" she asked.

      Richard stammered, "Shelly, I . . . I . . . I do love you. That . . . that's why I want to be sure you really want a marriage with me."

      Shelly exclaimed, "Oh god! Now it makes sense! If the marriage doesn't work out, I'll be hurting you, won't I?"

      Richard nodded. "That's why I really want you to be sure that a marriage to me is what you want."

      "I guess I can't blame you for that. Maybe I should have realized it sooner since you kept hounding me for a date before when you drank heavily. You were crying out for both love and help and I was deaf to all your pleas. Wasn't I? Never mind, you don't have to answer. I already know I was. Some rescuer I am. . ."

      "Don't put yourself down. You had plenty of obstacles in your way. Most of them put up by me."

      "That doesn't excuse my behavior. Now I have the chance to redeem myself some and repair the damage I caused. Do you still want me, Richard? Would you like to marry me?"

      "Shelly, I still want you, but I want you to be certain you want me. I don't want to put you in a marriage that you can't stand to be in later. That wouldn't be fair to you. Don't marry me because you feel guilt instead of love. Give yourself some time to think this over. Think about what kinds of problems you'll be headed for eventually. Sooner or later, I'm going to do something stupid that could hurt you or others. I might take to drinking heavy, again."

      "No, you won't. I'll be there to take the place of that bottle."

      "Maybe. Maybe not. Those are the things I want you to think of. Get your feelings about me clear before we take a leap into marriage. I'm not an easy man to live with."

      "You're telling me? All right, I'll think about it some."

      "Fine, that's all I'm asking for now. If you decide that you really want to marry me, then I'll propose to you."

      "Okay. Would you mind scrubbing my back?" she asked.

      Richard took the soapy cloth she offered and hesitated momentarily after she turned around before he gently washed her back.

      "Harder."

      Richard applied a bit more pressure to his task while she moaned briefly in ecstasy.

***

Chief Isaac Dickson stepped into the adjacent shower stall in time to hear Shelly say, "Harder!" a second time. He grinned at what he thought was happening between Shelly and Richard. He hoped that was a good sign of progress on Shelly's part as she sought to help Richard fight off his ghosts. It sounded to him like Shelly was actually going as far as she said she was willing to go in her efforts. Though he held some deep feelings for Shelly himself, he knew he had no right to tell her what she could or couldn't do on her own time with her own life. Until she got her life entirely in order, there was little he could do or say about her actions. Perhaps he could tell her on one of their dates about how he felt about her. So far, he was holding off in deference to Richard's needs, though he wished that Shelly wasn't going as far as it sounded like.

      Then again, he was no angel himself. He couldn't easily get mad at her for doing something he'd done before with other women. After all, she probably knew about one time he was romantically involved during a period of zero-gravity on board the ship. It was embarrassing then when the cabin door popped open. He and the woman he was joined with floated out in the darkness in time to be seen by half a dozen witnesses when they turned the lights on while entering the common area that their rooms used as a lounge. There was little he or she could do about it since they only had each other to shove against as they floated in the room. Worse yet, he reached a climax just before they parted to seek privacy again. What was merely embarrassing became more than memorable to others and was exaggerated in the retelling. For a short while, he was even called "Moby" by some of the crew. Isaac was glad when that and the other accompanying comments finally ended. Remembering that, he reminded himself once more not to judge Shelly for her actions next door.

***

Shelly thought about her feelings as Richard scrubbed her back. There was a time when she was sure she loved him. Then she talked with Damon to learn how Richard felt about her, but Damon was closed mouth. She took his response to mean that Richard wasn't in love with her. Now she realized that perhaps Damon wisely kept out of something that he might mess up. Had she sublimated her feelings for Richard? Or was it merely a case of mistaken identity when she thought her feelings were love? More than once she had received mixed signals from Richard that confused her. There was a time when she almost hated him. A time when she was repulsed by him. A time when she felt like a mother to him. Was it finally time for her to love him? Did she love him as she once thought she did? Was Richard right about the trap she might be entering if she married him? Would it really hurt him that much if she discovered later that she didn't love him and asked for a divorce?

***

"Ralph, that's one of the two men who hurt me. I'm positive of him," Gene said from his recovery bed on board the station.

      Chief Ralph Brunner looked at the computer image of Daniel Brump, memorizing the face so he wouldn't need to carry around a photo with him. He repeated the name with the face, "Daniel Brump, Daniel Brump. So, you're sure that he's one of the two men?"

      "I'm positive," Gene replied.

      Ralph typed in some commands to the antique computer. He read the information. "Well, he was on Venus at the time, so he might be one of your attackers. Still, I don't see any reason for him attacking you like that. He's not listed with any radical organizations."

      "Maybe the radical movements wouldn't have him considering what he and the other man did to me. I'm not even a man any longer."

      "Yeah, you're lucky someone found you before you bled to death."

      Gene exclaimed, "Lucky? To go on living like this as an it? This isn't lucky! They should have let me die quietly then instead of rushing me to a hospital. They didn't do me any favors!"

      "Calm down now, Gene. Maybe you're not feeling lucky because of that, but I do if only because you're my brother. Nothing will change that. Now keep looking through the Venus immigrant files. I want to know the other man's identity so I can look them both up and return the favor."

      "Yeah, I want to see them like me," Gene Brunner said.

      "No, I'm not taking you with me. That way they won't know I'm after them. If I take you along, they'll probably recognize you and escape before I can get close enough."

      "But there's two of them!" Gene exclaimed.

      "Yes, there are. Still, they won't know I'm after them until it's too late. Besides, I don't intend to take them on while they're together. I'll get them one at a time. That way I can find out why they attacked you and take my time exacting our revenge. Daniel Brump. His name does sound familiar for some reason that escapes me."

      Gene exclaimed, "Ralph, I just found the other man's picture. Jerrod Brump! Son-of-a-bitch, they're brothers, aren't they?"

      Ralph typed in more commands before nodding. "You're right. They're brothers. Jerrod Brump. His name sounds even more familiar. Hold on while I read his background."

      "Anything yet?"

      "No, not yet, um. . . Bingo! He's the bastard who filed the false charge against Chief Dickson! Now I know why those names sounded familiar to me. Looks like these brothers have it in for Space Rescue or anyone connected with it. Maybe they're the only members of their own radical group. Their father was killed in space during their war for independence. That could be their motive."

      "But we didn't take sides! Why should they have it in for us?" Gene exclaimed.

      "Who knows? Regardless, I'll even the score and tell you if I find out."

***

"Captain, may I have a few moments of your time?" Chief Brunner asked as he stopped at Richard's quarters and spoke through the open hatch.

      "Sure, come in! You know I always have time for you. What's on your mind?" Richard asked.

      "I need to take a leave of absence," Ralph said upon entering and halting in front of Richard.

      "Oh? Taking your brother back to Earth?"

      "No sir. I have business on Venus to tend to."

      "You're going to search for his assailants, aren't you? Don't you think you should stay with your brother instead?" asked Richard.

      "This is more important. I'll only need a week."

      "You sound very confident that you can find them in only . . . Oh, you already know who they are, don't you? That's why you only need a week."

      Ralph answered, "Yes, sir. Gene identified them. I intend to pay them back for what they did to him."

      "If you know who they are, then why not let the authorities on Venus handle this? It's in their jurisdiction. I'm sure they'll want to see that justice is done if only because we didn't take sides during their war for independence. They won't ignore your request since they know they owe us big time for that. Who are they?"

      Ralph answered, "I can't take the chance, sir. It's a matter of family honor."