Southern Seduction (42 page)

We move silently around the room, getting ready to go see Dani for the last time. In my head, I can hear her say,
“I better look good.”
A giggle slips out of my mouth.

“What’s so funny?” Jackson is ready and sitting in the corner chair waiting for me. With his elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands, he leans forward and watches my every move.

“I hope that Donna made sure Dani’s hair and makeup were perfect. I can hear her in my head threatening her if she didn’t.”

“You actually hear her?” His brow furrows as he waits for my answer.

“No, I’m not hearing voices. It’s just that I know Dani. When she was at her best, she would have never left the house unless she was looking perfect. She came into this world perfect, and I know that she would want to leave this world looking perfect. God help Donna.”

Jackson takes my arm and leads me to the car. He takes me to The Wheelhouse, where we enjoy a peaceful dinner. At 6:30, we drive to Humble Mortuary. He promises to stay close tonight as we walk hand and hand into the mortuary.

The chapel is small and charming. The silence is a strong contrast to the noise inside my head. Large flower arrangements on easels flank a beautiful pink coffin.
Dani loved pink
. My hand grips Jackson’s hand tightly as he walks me to the front. I pause a few feet from the pink box and take a deep breath. I can’t seem to get enough air in my lungs.

“Savvy, sweetie, it’s okay. She’s not here anymore. It’s just her shell. Let’s go say goodbye, darlin’,” he whispers.

We take the last few steps to her coffin. She lies peacefully, sitting on a bed of white satin. Her hair and makeup are beautiful.
She looks like she’s sleeping
. The outfit I picked for her is pretty, and her girls look amazing. It’s heartbreaking to look at her beautiful face and know that her eyes will never light up in delight. Her mouth will never smile again, and her laughter will never fill the air.

I reach forward and lay my hand on top of hers.
I love you, Dani.
I let my hand rest on hers for a while, knowing that I will never touch her again. As the people line up behind us, I realize that I have to move on to let the people behind us pay their respects. Jackson pulls me into his side as we walk away.

I can see Donna peeking through the door of the chapel as we make our way to the back of the room. “Hey, Savvy. I haven’t seen you since you got here.” I barely make it past the door, before she tears me away from Jackson and throws her arms around my neck. She hugs me for what feels like an eternity and then releases me.

“Hi, Donna. I’m so sorry for you loss,” I say as I step back a little.

“It’s everybody’s loss, Savvy.” A tear falls down her cheek. “Do you think she looked good?” Her sad eyes lift to look into mine. “I was afraid she would haunt me if she didn’t look perfect,” she says.

“She looks amazing, Donna. I don’t think there is any risk of a poltergeist in your future,” I assure her.

“I used to be jealous of you, Savvy. You and Dani were more like sisters than Dani and I were, but I’m so glad that she had you.” Looking at Jackson, she asks, “Are you two back together?”

“Yes, we are,” Jackson says with conviction.

I look behind me and see that we have stopped traffic again. “We’re going to head out, Donna. There are a lot of people who are waiting to see you. Call me if you need anything.” I lean forward and give her a hug goodbye.

Jackson takes my hand in his and escorts me out of the building. As we make our way to the car, I see Sterling walking toward us.

“Jackson, I’ll be right back. Stay here, please.” I drop his hand and walk to where Sterling has stopped.

“Hey, Savvy. Are you going to beat me up some more?” His head is bowed and his shoulders are rounded.

“No. I just want to say something to you. It’s not going to be easy for you. You will always wonder if you could have done something different. You will always question whether you were responsible for her death. You told me yesterday that you weren’t a divorcee but a widower. You’re right—you are a widower. Actually, I think you were a widower a long time ago. Dani was dead to you the first time you volunteered to leave her, the first time you slept with another woman. You saw firsthand what infidelity could do to destroy a life. It killed Jackson’s parents’ marriage, it took seven years away from Jackson and me, and ultimately, it killed your wife. Think about that the next time you decide to be someone’s
everything
and fall short of the goal.”

Sterling looks like he’s in shock. His expression turns into something that resembles sadness as I continue.

“I don’t need to beat you up, Sterling. You’ll be doing that to yourself for the rest of your life.” What I said wasn’t nice, but it was true, and I feel better having been able to stand up for my friend.

Reaching up on my toes, I kiss Sterling on the cheek and give him an uncommitted one-handed hug. I look over my shoulder and see Jackson leaning against his black rental car. He is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. Turning, I smile broadly as I approach him. His look goes from wary to delighted as I fall into his arms.

“Take me home, Jackson. I have seven years to make up for.”

“What was that all about?”

“I was just letting Sterling know how sorry I was. I also wished him good luck for the future.” Jackson looks up me with a look of disbelief on his face.

“Somehow, I don’t believe you. Are you okay?”

“I’m good. I don’t think I could have done it without you. I almost didn’t make it up to the coffin, but when you whispered in my ear… That was all I needed. Your voice gave me strength. When I looked at her and saw how peaceful she looked, I felt at peace. I will always miss her, but I have a lifetime of memories with Dani.”

He kisses me on the forehead as he tucks me into the car. I watch him as he walks around the car and opens the driver’s side door. He is quite possibly the best man I know. Once he gets settled, he puts the car in gear and drives toward the hotel.

“Before we go back to the hotel, I’d like to stop by my mama’s house.”

Jackson makes a U-turn and heads in the direction of my childhood home. The little white Toyota is parked in the driveway. So much has changed, yet so much remains the same. Hand in hand, we walk to the door.

“Hey, you two. I was just heading over to the mortuary. Do you want to come with me?” she asks.

“No, Mama, we already paid our respects. I just wanted to say goodbye. I didn’t know if I would see you at the funeral tomorrow, and I’ll be spending the afternoon with Jackson before I fly back to Colorado.” I reach out to my mama and hug her. She embraces me tightly. “I’m glad we were able to talk yesterday. We have Jackson to thank for that.” Turning to walk away, I call over my shoulder. “You have my phone number now. Let’s keep in touch.”

The whole time we were at my mama’s, Jackson remained solid against my side. My hand stays locked in his as we walk back to the car. I feel safe and secure. Jackson is my rock.

“I wish we could spend some time together, honey. It’s been so long, and we barely got to talk yesterday,” she says as we walk away.

I stop and face her again. “Mama, I think we said everything that needed to be said. We’ll talk soon.” Jackson has a death grip on me. If he pulled me any closer, I would be living inside his skin. We say our final farewells and hop back into his car.

“So you want to spend the afternoon with me tomorrow, huh? That’s a lot of hours, Savvy. What are we going to do?”

“Jackson Moore, you better stop teasing me. We have seven years to make up for. Do you have any idea how many orgasms you owe me?” I turn to him and give him a look that says,
Are you really going there?
“Do we have condoms for tonight and tomorrow?” I’ve struck him speechless.
That’s a first
.

“I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to please you. As for enough condoms, I think we have four left.”

“You better stop at the store then.” I am as serious as can be, and Jackson is laughing at me. “What’s wrong with you? I have a day and a half to spend with you. If I can still walk when I get on that plane, then you haven’t done a good job. I want to remember being with you well into next week,” I tease.

“You’re going to remember being with me the rest of your life, Savvy.” He speaks in a foreboding tone, like a weather forecaster predicting a storm. He’s warning me, but I don’t have the strength to raise the red flags. I want to be swept away by Jackson. I’ll worry about the damage after the storm.

“Where are we going? I thought we were heading to the store and then back to the hotel.”

“We are. I just wanted to go to one place first.”

As soon as he makes a right turn, I know where we’re going.
Why is he taking me to the place where he ripped my heart out?
I waited for hours upon hours at the fairgrounds for him. In all fairness, I think I knew that he wouldn’t come. The situation with our parents had just occurred a few days before, and it had been escalating quickly. In a small town, there are no secrets, and when it’s something as juicy as an affair, it moves like a grass fire in a windstorm.

“Where were you waiting for me, Savvy? Was it at the benches in front of the stables?” His eyes are locked on mine.

“What does it matter, Jackson? You never showed up. It’s irrelevant at this point.”

“It matters to me, Savvy. I need to know!” he yells. His hand is on my shoulder, firmly holding me in place. I push it off before I yell back at him.

“I don’t want to relive it! I want to forget it!”

“Damn it, Savvy, I fucked up and you will always hate me if we don’t get this thing settled!” He jumps out of the car and runs to open my door. “Was it the benches in front of the stables?” he shouts.

“For Christ’s sake, Jackson, yes! I waited on the bench in front of the stables. What does it matter? It was seven years ago. I don’t hate you. I just hate what happened to us. I understand what you did and why.”

Looking around, I can see that Jackson has brought us to the exact place where I sat and waited. The memory hits me like a punch to the stomach.
Why would he do this to me?
I wanted to go back to the Super 8 and have nonstop sex for the next day, but he wants to relive the worst day of my life.

I have no idea what compels me to hit him, but I ball my fists and start punching the living daylights out of him. He just stands there and takes every blow. It’s not like I would make a good boxer. I definitely fight like a girl. I beat his chest until I am exhausted. He finally grabs my arms and pulls me into his embrace. With the bench behind him, he sits down and pulls me into his lap.

“Savvy, I’m sorry that I’m seven years late, but I’m here. I’m not letting you go. I know you think this is all going to end the day after tomorrow, but it isn’t. I will love you for the rest of my life.”

“I love you too, Jackson,” I cry. I lean my head against his solid chest. I can feel the heat coming off of his skin in the exact places that I punched him. I begin to kiss him everywhere, trying to heal the wounds I may have caused. “I’m sorry I hit you. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Yes I did. And probably so much worse. I got off easy, Savvy. I know you needed to come here. It won’t be easy, but maybe we can bury this part of our past now.” He lifts my chin and looks into my eyes. “Shall we go back to our room?”

We walk back to the car holding on tight to one another. It’s how we used to walk everywhere—connected at the hip. People around town used to tell us that we looked like Siamese twins.

Armed with two boxes of condoms, a bottle of wine, and a plethora of snacks, we arrive at our room, ready for everything.

“Take a bath with me? I want to help you relax after this stressful day,” he says.

Jackson guides me to the bathroom, where I watch him draw the bath. He dumps all of the mini shampoo bottles into the tub to create lots of suds. I find a hair clip and pull my hair up on top of my head. When the tub is full, I slide into the piping-hot water. Jackson leaves me to relax for a few minutes. He returns with two plastic cups of wine in his hands.

“I hope that you were able to relax a bit. What I have planned is not going to be that relaxing from here on out, I’m afraid.”
Oh my God, he’s gorgeous.