Southern Seduction (31 page)

“You are perfect.” I palm both sides of her face and stare her in the eyes so she knows I mean it. She tries to shake her head, but I tighten my grip. “You. Are. Perfect,” I emphasize. We stand like this for, Christ, I don’t know how long, ‘til suddenly her dam breaks and she sobs uncontrollably. I pull her to my chest like I did the other day, kissing her hair and telling her over and over again how perfect she is. “Nobody will ever hurt you again. Nobody, ya hear?!” I yank my handkerchief out of my back pocket and hand it to her. After a moment, she looks up at me and sniffles into my hankie one last time as she nods. “You ready to do this? You gotta do it like a Band-Aid, baby.” I grab her hand and squeeze.

“I’m scared,” she says.

“I know. Come on,” I coax her gently. Slowly, Shelby follows my guidance and we head out of the stables and to the house for her to get her purse. After a few minutes, she reappears and we get into my truck to head off. Good thing, too, because I see Missy walking toward the ranch. We both wave to her, but I continue on. Missy shoots me a dirty look as we pass.

“What was that look about?” Shelby turns her head, following her cousin with her gaze.

“Probably ‘cause I didn’t stop. You know Missy, though—she’d be talking our ears off. I just want to get you down there and get this over with.” I glance over just in time to catch her nod of agreement.

Within ten minutes, we are downtown and parked outside of the bank. We both stare at it.

“You ready, baby?” I squeeze her hand.

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” She gives me a meek smile.

We climb back into my truck. Shelby sits in the passenger seat, staring at the large, bulky manila envelope in her lap. She didn’t want to open it inside the bank, and I don’t blame her. The time it took to get that envelope was draining in its own right. Luckily, Shelby was smart enough to call ahead a few weeks ago and ask what she needed, identification-wise, in order to collect this envelope in place of her mother. We definitely could’ve been there a lot longer and come out empty-handed. We almost did, actually, but then Shelby found her mother’s death certificate in her purse.

I start up the truck and grab her hand, holding it the whole way home. She seems so tense—and I know I sure am. I’m dying to know what’s in that envelope. Within in ten minutes, we’re back at the ranch and things seem pretty quiet, beyond the usual animal clatter and whatnot.

We head inside and Shelby grabs a note from my mother off the table. That’s where Mama always leaves her notes for us when she’s out.

“They’ve gone off to the farmers’ market in town. She says we should join them if we’re up for it.”

“Ah, yes. It’s Festival Week here in Rison.”

“Festival week?”

“Yep. It’s a pretty big deal around here. We’ll go tonight. There are rodeo shows and other events during the day, and then a carnival at night. I bet that’s where the family is now.” I grab the paper from her to glance at it.

“So ... we’re all ... um ... alone.” She shifts from foot to foot and chews at her lip.

I touch her cheek before leaning down to peck her lips.

“You’re safe with me. I will never do anythin’ you don’t want me to do. I think you know this, Shelby. You just need to trust that feelin’ in your gut,” I breathe before pullin’ her in for another kiss. Reluctantly, I let her step back. She stares up into my eyes—studyin’ me, I feel. She gives me a curt nod as if she’s made a decision and grabs my hand. I follow as she tugs me along. She says nothin’ as she walks backward, leadin’ me down the hall, and opens the door to my room. I swallow hard in anticipation, though I don’t know what the hell I think I’m anticipatin’.
Sometimes, I’m jus’ plain ashamed of where my thoughts go to.
I close the door behind me and bring my eyes back to her.

“Kip ...” she trails off. She walks over to my dresser and puts the envelope down. She grips its front edges as she leans in and lowers her head. She inhales deeply. I walk up behind her and slide my hands up her back to her shoulders. She brings her head back up and circles her neck around, seemingly enjoying the light massage I’m giving her.

“What’s on your mind, baby?” I trail soft kisses down her neck.

“Kip, the uh, the last man who touched me ...” she pauses. “He, um ... didn’t have my permission to do so,” she says quietly. My hands descend back down and rest on her hips. I let the nook of her neck cradle my head as I wait for her to finish. I can pretty much sense that there is more to this.

She takes in another deep breath and releases it forcefully.

“In fact, I have been touched by three men ... all without my permission,” she adds. I grip her hips tightly, trying to contain the rage washing over me. I knew—well, assumed—she had been a victim of rape, but I never considered it bein’ more than one man.

“How ...?” I can’t even spit out the rest of the question. It’s not just one, and I can’t get my head on straight to figure out which to ask first.
How many times? How long? How come nobody helped? How could he do this to her?
There are too many
how
s, and I’m afraid they’ll have no
why
s.

“He was a drunk. He couldn’t hold down a job. So he got money by letting his—” she hiccups a gasp.

“Shh,” I whisper in her ear. Her shoulders shake and I reach around her waist to hold her tightly to me. She crooks her face back and into my neck, her breath so hot on my skin. After a few minutes, I feel her lips dance lightly just below my ear. My eyes roll back into my head and damn it if the material of my jeans ain’t screaming again. “Shelby,” I murmur. She turns to me and toes up for a kiss. I comply, of course. I would never turn down a kiss from her—but I would be lyin’ if I said I wasn’t treadin’ on the side of uncertainty here. She just revealed somethin’ very traumatic to me. I’m not sure where her mind’s at. “Shelby.” I pull away.

“Kip,” she says, puttin’ her hand over my mouth to silence me. “I don’t know what’s in that envelope. What I do know is that I have no control over it or how it will affect me. That has pretty much been the theme for most of my life. I had no control over losing my real father when I was young, or picking who got to take his place. I had no control over my mother’s death, or my brother’s. I had no control over who got to touch me. Nor how.” She stops and takes in a much-needed breath. “This may seem silly to you, but I feel as if I have a small window of opportunity to actually control something.”

I move her hand away. “Shelby, I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Let me finish, please,” she pleads. I nod and zip my lip. “Kip, there’s been something between us since the moment we met. It scares me. I’ve never felt it before. Now, I’m not going to sit here and label it anything but certainty. I am most certain, Kip Taylor, that you will never mean to hurt me. I am certain that no matter what happens in the future, I will never regret my time with you. I am certain that I am about to rush into something that I never would have even considered a month ago. I am certain that I no longer care about stuff like that. Life is short, Kip. I’ve had too much wrong done to me, and too much grief. I am certain that what has happened to me is only a chapter or two in my life—it is not my entire story. I am certain that as much as I try to move on, those chapters will haunt me. They are awful memories. I want new ones to wash those away. I am certain I want you to be the one to give them to me, Kip. I want to know—want to feel—what it’s like to be touched by a man that I want to be touched by.” She pauses, and I think it may be because my jaw’s just dropped. “My life may or may not change when I open that envelope. I want to have control over at least
one
thing in my life before whatever is in there takes it away.” She finally stops and our staring contest begins. This whole thing feels so heavy. I feel like it needs to be lightened up, even though what she’s going through is no laughing matter.

“But, Shelby, are you certain that you are certain?” I smirk playfully. Yeah, I’m a smartass. She better get used to that now, right? She stares at me for another moment until the corner of her eyes wrinkle and she laughs lightly at my comment—thank God.

“Certainly I’m certain.” She bites back her smile.

“Wow,” I say, with a gush of breath. Shelby loses her smile. “I just ... Shelby, you will always have control over things in your life. It just may not be in the way you’d like. You may not be able to change a situation, but you can certainly control how you deal with it and how you let it affect you.” I want her to know that she’s not really helpless at all.

“Right,” she sighs. She turns and grabs the envelope before trying to head toward the door. “Sorry I got weird on you,” she mumbles. I grab her arm, guiding her back to me, and take the envelope from her hands. I toss it back onto the dresser.

“Don’t walk away from me. And don’t ever be embarrassed about tellin’ me anythin’. I would never judge you. I am not tellin’ you no, Shelby, just that you are never really helpless. I don’t want you to ever feel like you’re not in control.” I chuck her chin so she’ll look up at me. “Now, I would love nothin’ more than to make a beautiful memory with you right now. But I need to know you one-hundred percent really want this.”

“A hundred and fifty percent, Kip.”

“We’re makin’ a new memory for both of us. This isn’t just about you.” I sigh. “Shelby, I’ve never made love to a woman before.” I stop when her eyes go wide. “Well, wait a minute now, I have had sex—but that’s all it was.” Her eyes calm down as I clear the air. “I’ve never cared for a girl enough to cherish her. I’ve never even had a girl in my room before. But now I’m standing before you and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. I want you here, Shelby. I want you in my bed. I want to wake up smellin’ your hair and hearin’ you breathe. I want to cherish you—every inch of you. I won’t label it either, because I know we’re not ready for labels, but you should know I very much feel the same way you do. I can’t explain it. All I know is that it’s right. You’re right.” I grasp her face and finally pull her in for the mother of all kisses I’ve been dying for. We head back to my bed like two kids slow dancing ... ya know ... completely uncoordinated. This makes me think of something—a realization, really. I pull away. “Shelby.”

“What?” She tries to catch her breath.

“This is our first time.” I stare deeply into her eyes.

“I know, Kip.” She laughs a little.

“No. You don’t get what I mean.” I shake my head. “There was no one else before us that mattered. They don’t exist anymore. This is our first time. Do you understand me?”

“Yes, Kip! Yes, I do!” She pulls me in for another kiss until the back of her legs bump against the mattress.

I take in a shaky breath when her fingers run over the band of my jeans. We stop kissing, and she stares into my eyes as she unbuckles my belt. I feel the effect of her down to the pit of my belly.
Go slow, Kip. Go slow.
I have to keep chanting this in my head, because to be honest with you, I want to do this any way but slow.

I pull her tank top up over her head and toss it aside. While Shelby has no freckles on her face, they sprinkle her shoulders—and it’s beautiful. She’s like a work of art. I lean down and paint her freckles with my lips.
Christ, she smells so good.
I close my eyes tightly as she yanks my belt free of my jeans. I take the tie out of her hair and unbraid it. I continue to taste her skin as I work at the clasp of her bra, then grasp the straps at her shoulders. Staring into her eyes, I slowly guide them down. The bra hits the floor. I swallow nervously before bringing my eyes down to look at her.
God, this really does feel like my first time.
Perfect. Then again ... I wasn’t expecting anything less.

She pulls my T-shirt up over my head and it quickly joins her top on the floor. I grab her left hip and slide my fingers down the right side of her jaw, her neck, her sternum, her belly ... until finally, I reach the button of her shorts. Her erratic breathing keeps tempo with mine. My mouth hovers over hers ‘til it finally gives in to the magnetic pull and covers her lips. Her tongue darts in, caressing mine, and I can’t help the groan that escapes my throat. I aggressively pull at her button, unzip her shorts, and whip them down—along with her panties. My hands run up her long legs as I work my way back up to a standing position.

“Christ, Shelby, you’re so beautiful. Your curves are amazing,” I say, awestruck by the sight before me. She gives me a sheepish smile before sliding back onto the bed. I unzip my jeans and guide them down. Her eyes widen at sight of me. I smirk. What? Still a guy over here! Just ‘cause I’ve gone all hearts and flowers don’t mean I’m not gonna show my pride in what I have to offer.

I grab her left foot and massage it before biting at the instep. Shelby throws her head back and releases a slight moan. I grab her other foot and repeat, then kneel on the bed and let my mouth travel up her leg. She gasps when I reach the inside of her thigh. My tongue glides up the crease between her pussy and thigh, and she lifts her hips off the bed to greet me. I taste the opposite side. I bring my arms under each of her legs, my hands stretching to grasp the inside of her thighs to keep her steady. I glance up at her and find her watching me, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth. I lower my head, and with my eyes still on hers, I lick up her center. She wriggles underneath me and I tighten my grasp. I taste her again with a feather-like touch. She lays her head back and covers her face with her arms.