Southern Fried Sushi (47 page)

I spotted it easily though—the gray granite shiny and polished. The rectangle still patched with brown earth where the grass had begun to grow over.

I stood there, feeling the warm fall breeze ruffle my hair and jacket and then stooped down to touch the newly carved letters:
Ellen Amelia Jacobs
. I ran my fingers over the dates of her death and birth.

Ellen Amelia Jacobs, sojourner in Virginia who decided to stay for good.

Ellen Amelia Jacobs, mother of a daughter who’d finally come home.

Ellen Amelia Jacobs, teacher and friend and lover of God, who’d gone through God’s door and found life out of destruction. Who bloomed one last fantastic flourish. Who said to fall and winter:
I am not afraid!
And whose tender faith, like the white Kobe roses in my arms, carried scents of heaven.

I laid the thick bouquet on the grass, shocking white against dull green, an offering of my heart. Like Mom, it was late—but better late than never.

“I’m sorry, Mom,” I whispered awkwardly, putting my hand on the sun-warmed stone, still cool on one side. Kneeling in the grass. “I’m sorry I didn’t know you. That I didn’t want to know you. That I missed the you I could have loved.”

My tears were healing; they seemed to wash away all my malice and hardened anger. I could forgive now, just like God forgave me.

The gas was flowing into my tank. My heart had doubled in size, flooding out a love for Mom like I’d never known.

I couldn’t erase our past or pretend it didn’t happen, but I could cover it, like the snowfall of roses over her grave. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.”

No more lies. No more hiding. I could start fresh—from now—and let God reveal the new creation He’d started in me, just as He’d done in Mom.

His workmanship. His poem. His jar of clay, fragile, but holding treasure. Encircled by His powerful hands.

I passed my hand over the hard, carved letters of her name. “You’re not the same person I remember, Mom, and I want you to know I’m not either. I’ve changed, too.” I wiped my face. “And I think you’d be prouder of me now than when I won all my greatest awards. Thank you, Mom. Thank you for what you gave me—life and Life. The very best things of all.”

The riot of birds cried out my joy in the green glory of the morning. Nothing else mattered. Not AP, not my debts, not the house. Not even romance or someone to love.

We could do anything, God and I. Together.

There in the middle of a hundred gravestones, I had never felt more alive.

Jennifer Rogers Spinola
, Virginia/South Carolina native and graduate of Gardner-Webb University in North Carolina, now lives in the capital city of Brasilia, Brazil, with her husband, Athos, and their son, Ethan. Jennifer and Athos met while she was serving as a missionary in Sapporo, Japan. When she’s not writing, Jennifer teaches English to ESL students in Brasilia. Find out more about Jenny at
www.jenniferrogersspinola.com
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1. Carlos’ dashing appearance and handsome good looks earn him a lot of positive attention. How does he treat Shiloh and Kyoko? What characteristics does he exhibit through his behavior? Do his good looks have any bearing on his attitudes and/or actions?

2. At one point, Kyoko asks Shiloh if Carlos truly loves her, and Shiloh replies in annoyance, “Of course he does!” Do you agree with her? Why or why not? In your opinion, what is real love like? How is it shown?

3. Pressed for time at the Associated Press office, Shiloh makes a quick, one-time decision to plagiarize a story, thinking no one will find out. What were the consequences for her breach of integrity? Have you ever done something against your better judgment “just one time”? What happened? In Shiloh’s case, if no one had discovered her error, do you think her secret would have still had an effect on her character? Her career?

4. Shiloh continually asserts that her mother means nothing to her, but Shiloh’s shock, turmoil, and anger indicate otherwise. Why do you think this is the case? Have you ever struggled with a difficult family member or painful memories? What helped to bring you peace?

5. At Tim and Becky’s cookout, Shiloh is surprised that something as simple as “a couple of hamburgers and a radio” could bring such clean, free joy. What do you think Shiloh senses in her friends that she’s been missing? How do they receive her and her many problems? What does this tell us about the impact believers can have on near strangers for Christ? Has anyone inspired you in a similar way?

6. Adam makes a reputation for himself as an oddball by refusing to go in Shiloh’s house alone. What reason does he give for his actions? Can you think of any other reasons Adam’s caution might have been a good thing? Have you ever “gone out on a limb” to make an unpopular choice based on your convictions? What happened?

7. Becky says once that Jesus isn’t a “Happy Meal,” and there isn’t a toy inside every box. What does she mean by this?

8. When Adam takes Shiloh fishing, she expects him to give her a spiritual lecture or sermon. Why do you think he refrains? In what ways does Adam still share his faith with Shiloh, and what is its impact?

9. Have you ever had to wait tables, work in a store, or do a similar type of work? What was it like? If not, can you imagine the drastic life changes someone like Shiloh would face? Can you see any positive changes in Shiloh’s character as a result of her hardships?

10. During a conversation about suffering and sin, Shiloh tells Faye that Adam and Eve, not she, ate the forbidden fruit. Faye replies that “there’s a little bit of Adam and Eve in all of us.” What did Faye mean by this? How is this reflected in Shiloh’s life? In your life?

11. Toward the end of the book, Adam’s brother Rick says “we’re all amputated in some way.” Are there any areas of your life or personal relationships you’ve cut off or left behind, either voluntarily or against your will? How has God brought healing to your life as a result?

12. After conceiving against all odds, Becky loses her miracle baby. Have you ever suffered a great loss of something? Why do you think God allows our sometimes best-laid plans or greatest hopes to be dashed? What reasons do Tim and Becky give for continuing to follow God in faith even during tragedy?

13. After reading her mom’s journal, Shiloh comments that it seemed like her mom “came to life.” What did Shiloh mean by this? How did Ellen’s life change? And how did Shiloh’s behavior exhibit the same transformation?