Sound of Heartache ("Sound of" Book 2) (23 page)

“
Oh God,” he muttered out loud. His stomach churned unpleasantly. He didn’t know how he’d missed this.

“
What’s wrong?” Aimee asked. Her hand gently landed on his shoulder blade and his gaze shot to hers. He saw nothing other than genuine concern for him there. He swallowed convulsively.

“
Just remembered something we need for tomorrow night. Last minute details,” he muttered. He hated lying to her, but until he had a chance to talk to Eric about the massive revelation he’d just had, he didn’t want to say anything to Aimee. What if he was way off base and his suppositions made everything uncomfortable between the three of them when they didn’t need to be?

“
Dad, this hotel is awesome!” Brenna exclaimed in a hushed voice. Somehow he’d handed off keys to the valet and gotten them all inside without realizing it. He shook himself, determined to rise from the haze he was in and looked around the marble lobby with fresh eyes. Everything about the San Francisco Ritz Carlton screamed tasteful and it was one of the reasons the band chose it for their stay this time. With little Elliott and now Brenna, it seemed to make more sense to stay somewhere with better amenities.

“
Bug, this hotel
is
awesome. You can pretty much get anything you want here,” he told her. Her eyes were wide.

“
Really?” She breathed. Brent nodded. A huge grin cracked her face.

“
So if I wanted, like, a giant banana split tonight they’d make me one?” She asked disbelievingly.

“
You’re hungry after Benihana’s?” He asked incredulously. The amount of food they’d consumed at dinner had been almost grotesque. Christ. He’d heard about the phenomenon of kids being like an empty pit but he thought that applied more to boys. Apparently he’d thought wrong.

“
I didn’t have dessert!” She exclaimed, like it was a given that she do so. Aimee chuckled lightly.

“
Brenna is a sugar fiend,” she told Brent conspiratorially.

“
Like her mom, I guess?” He commented dryly. Aimee’s sweet-tooth was so bad it was almost legendary. No doubt guessing his thoughts, Aimee chuckled again.

“
One of the very few of my traits that broke through your super-power DNA,” she teased.

“
Well, bug, best way to find out is to try to order one, right?” He asked her as they stepped onto the elevator. He chucked her chin lightly and she wrapped her thin arms around his waist.

Brenna stayed leaned into him quietly while the elevator silently rose from floor to floor. Somehow Aimee’s hand found its way into his and he felt a sense of calm come over him. He realized this was the first time he had felt truly at peace with life since Aimee had stepped into that car all those years ago. As the elevator stopped and the doors began to slide open, Brent wished he could freeze this moment in time. He wanted to always remember the exact moment the heartache that had been his constant companion since that horrible day finally lifted. In this moment, he could breathe easier. He felt lighter. He felt loved.

“
Brent?” Aimee prodded softly. He realized he hadn’t moved and both Aimee and Brenna were staring at him.

“
Sorry guys. Tired I guess,” he said, playing off his feelings. He led them down the hallway to their rooms, the plush carpeting muffling the sounds of their footsteps. He opened the door to the smaller suite first so he could deposit the bags he carried. He had been in the rooms already and had opened the joining doors between his larger suite and Aimee and Brenna’s room. There were two sofas in his area so it was logical for them all to hang out there. He set Brenna and Aimee’s bags down on their beds and started to back out of the room and into his own suite. The next move needed to be Aimee’s and she didn’t disappoint.

“
Can I keep you company while Brenna showers?” Aimee asked him, tossing her jacket onto one of the beds.

“
Don’t you want to change first?” He asked her. “I know I should probably get out of my suit before it’s wrinkled all to hell.”

“
I like you in your suit,” Aimee told him, grinning. “It’s so…powerful.” She smirked a little.

“
Are you flirting with me Doctor Lansing?” He teased. She laughed and nodded.

“
Maybe just a little,” she admitted. Brent appreciated her lack of coyness.

“
Dad, it’s like a flashing neon sign. Mom likes you!” Brenna sang as she passed by with her pajamas bundled in her arms by kissing each of them on the cheek. “Kiss and make up already!” She bossed, before closing herself in the bathroom.

A slight flush tinted Aimee’s perfect cheekbones before she turned around and opened her case. Brent moved a little closer to Aimee, hoping Brenna hadn’t embarrassed her too much.

“
I don’t mind, you know.” He said lightly.

“
Don’t mind what?” Aimee began to root through her suitcase until she pulled something in a bright teal out.

“
The flirting. I like it. I probably shouldn’t, but I do.” Brent knew he had to play things honest with Aimee. The time for subtlety was long past.

“
I like doing it. I probably shouldn’t, but I do,” Aimee confessed. She turned around and held Brent’s gaze. “It feels good. Real.”

“
What else do you like?” he felt compelled to ask.

“
Doing things that shock and surprise you,” Aimee whispered. Brent’s eyebrow shot up and he could feel his unruly cock harden in his pants. The damn thing was further proof he was still a teenager residing within a man’s body when it came to Aimee.

“
And what would surprise me?” He rasped out. His tongue came out to moisten lips that had gone dry and he watched as Aimee tracked the movement. His eyes dropped to her breasts and he could see her nipples beaded against her shirt. The atmosphere was electric.

“
This,” she said, and before he could utter a word, she swiftly drew her thin long-sleeved shirt over her head. Her bra was a sheer black thing and incredibly lacy and Brent audibly groaned at the sight. Breasts that were definitely larger than he remember spilled over the top of the cups. While he watched in astonishment, Aimee unbuttoned her chinos and pushed them off her hips. They slid soundlessly to the floor and she kicked them away, standing before him in her sexy as fuck black bra and matching panties.

“
You’re trying to kill me,” he stated. All available blood had rushed southward and filled out his dick until the damn thing was trying to break free from his slacks. Ignoring his arousal, his eyes rapidly took in every inch of her. She was still so beautiful it took his breath away. He dropped to his knees and nudged her panties down to the line of her pubic hair. She inhaled sharply, her stomach trembling under his hands, but allowed his perusal.

“
They faded but they’re still there,” she told him quietly. Brent appreciated that she knew exactly what he was looking for. He ran the backs of his fingers over the super-soft skin of her lower stomach where he remembered several stretch marks blooming at the end of her pregnancy. She had despaired over them while he had cherished each one. To him, they were marks of her love for him and he found nothing sexier.

“
I know you probably still hate them, but I’m glad to see them,” he said gruffly. She shook her head, her incredible dark hair swaying around her body.

“
I don’t hate them anymore. They remind me daily of how much you loved me.” She said simply. He gripped her hips in his hands, feeling the bones press into his palms. Although she was still very slender, she had lost the sharp angles of youth and was very much a woman. So many changes he’d missed. He pressed a kiss to her belly button and groaned darkly. This close to her and he could smell her arousal.

“
I don’t want to offend you, and please don’t misconstrue this…” Brent hesitated while he sat there on his knees before her. He looked up her body again and into her eyes. She was looking at him patiently with a healthy dose of desire thrown in. He didn’t know why this small detail mattered so much, but strangely it did. He rose to his feet and his gaze fell to her breasts. He slowly moved his hands up the curve of Aimee’s back until he reached the clasp of her bra. He tugged gently and it unhooked. The bra came down and off and his gaze caressed Aimee’s perfect breasts. They, too, had several silvery stretch marks but that wasn’t what had captured his gaze.

“
You want to know why, right?” She asked him, hesitantly.

“
God, yes. Your breasts were perfect,” he sighed. He stared down at the perfection before him. These were different, but no less perfect because they were hers. Her chest rose and fell with a deep exhale, making his dick jerk in his pants. To his dismay, she slowly worked the teal scrap of material she held in her hands over her head and it fell down her body with a whisper of a sound. It was some sort of stretchy soft material that hit mid-thigh and hid nothing.

“
After Brenna nursed there was just nothing left. You know I’d never had really large breasts before anyway and then it just seemed like they were gone.” Aimee sounded very matter of fact. Brent guessed for her, as a doctor, it was just that simple. A problem had occurred, Aimee applied logic, and the problem was solved.

“
You would have still looked beautiful to me,” he told her. He wanted her to understand he didn’t need someone who was unflawed. To him, imperfections added to the beauty of the person.

“
But I didn’t feel beautiful to me. What I saw reflected on the outside was not the woman I felt like on the inside.” Aimee smiled briefly. “A lot of moms have guilt for wanting to feel beautiful and sexy. It has nothing to do with
being
beautiful or sexy. It’s all about how we feel. And sometimes, after we’ve been sucked dry and stretched out we just don’t feel sexy anymore. This helped me in ways I can’t even describe.”

“
Do you do talks about this?” Brent asked, curious. She seemed really passionate about the subject and when Aimee felt deeply about something, she usually didn’t let it go. He heard the shower shut off and realized he and Aimee were still standing at the foot of her bed. He grabbed her arm gently and led her through the connecting door into the large suite.

“
I belong to several different mom groups. A couple are through social media and one or two is run through my office. I speak occasionally. I think it helps other moms that I’m a pediatrician too. I run into a lot of moms who are frustrated with their appearance and they become depressed over what they see as a selfish desire. I try to help where I can because I get it. I’m a mom too. It’s hard juggling everything at once while still trying to feel sexy for your partner.”

Aimee settled herself in one of the chairs and Brent sprawled on the couch. He frowned at her last comment. He hated like hell that she’d been feeling sexy for someone else besides him. Damn it. He swore under his breath. If only he hadn’t lost his shit and gotten into drugs. If only Aimee had never seen him in Portland with those women. If fucking only so many years hadn’t been wasted.

“
I hate this,” He admitted. He straightened from his slouch. “I keep trying to wrap my mind around it and I keep hitting walls that I feel like I can’t climb over.” He knew it was hypocritical in the extreme, but knowing she’d been with another man absolutely gutted him. “I don’t want to know about you appealing to another man.”

“
If I can manage to physically watch you with multiple women, surely you can move past an imagined thought!” Aimee was exasperated with him and rightfully so. He threw his hands up in the air.

“
Trust me!” He growled. “I know it isn’t anywhere near logical!”

“
If these walls weren’t so hard for you to get over, I guess it would mean that you don’t care anymore, right?” Aimee reasoned. Brent grunted, frustrated with his own illogical though processes.

“
Baby, it’s not a matter of not caring. I know how I feel about you. It’s being able to move forward without carrying a shit-ton of baggage with me that I’m having a hard time with.” He glanced over at Aimee and felt sucker punched to see tears standing in her eyes.

“
I feel like we keep running into this same issue. We’re able to connect and flirt when we text. We do great on the phone. But once we see each other, things fall apart. If you haven’t gotten past it yet, do you think you’ll ever be able to?” She asked him haltingly. He didn’t want to answer her honestly but he knew he owed it to her to do nothing less.

“
I’m really, really worried I won’t.” He admitted to her. “Deep down I wonder to myself if maybe you’d tried harder or made different choices, our lives would have ended up so differently. I wouldn’t have been cheated out of ten years of my daughter’s life. I want to forgive you. I tell myself I forgive you. But then I realize I don’t think I really have.” Aimee stood up quickly. Brent stood as well. This conversation was going to hell in a handbasket and he only had himself to blame.

“
Look. Why don’t I send Brenna in here tonight? Or you can sleep in my room with her? You guys should really get some one-on-one time, don’t you think?” Aimee’s words rushed out, trembling and wavy. Clearly she was anxious to end the conversation and beat a hasty retreat. Brent sighed wearily, wishing he hadn’t put a strain on the evening.