Soul(s) (19 page)

But now she was here and I knew that as soon
as we touched I’d forget Eliza completely. That was why I’d taken a
moment to comfort her after Sariah had put that Darth Vardar
\chokehold on her. I owed her that much. My mere attraction to
Eliza was already gone. I didn’t want her anymore, I didn’t need
her. I’d \probably never want to touch her again.

Sariah,
my beautiful venku. We’d been reunited for all of
ten minutes and I’d already hurt her. I couldn’t waste any time I
had to fix this between us before it was unfixable. I’d never even
gotten the chance to tell her I loved her before I’d fell into the
portal. We were always so close to truly being together and then
fate always seemed to interfere. Not anymore, I had to go to her
now. Leaving Eliza on the couch, I followed Sariah out into the
hallway.

Sariah’s energy hit me like a wall as soon
as I stepped into the hallway. She was devastated. Just with her so
near, my abilities were coming back full swing. My eyes snapped
into focus and from where I stood in the doorway. Slouched against
the wall, knees pulled up close to her chest, I saw a dear slip
down her cheek through an opening in the curtain of her wild
hair.

I began moving towards her.

I don’t know where to
start,
I thought to her as I
walked.

I didn’t mean to hurt her.
I just reacted.
Sariah pleaded looking
up.

I know. I’m sorry.

I sat down beside her, leaning my arm around
her I slid it down her back and hook it around her waist coaxing
her into my lap. She must have been afraid I didn’t want her
anymore because once I had her in my arms she started sobbing. I
was taken aback by the rawness of her feelings. She’d never cried
before since I’d known her or ever showed that much emotion. I held
her tight and breathed in her familiar scent. Everything I’d felt
for her in Second-Plane was alive and bubbling at the top of my
heart. But what I’d done while we’d been apart was tugging at my
soul. I had to tell her.

I need to be honest with
you.
I thought quickly.

Her head shot up. “What do you mean?” she
said a loud. Her voice sounded horrified. Terrified at what I might
say. Her guard was way down and her thoughts frantic.

He has to remember. He has
to remember.
I heard her thinking to
herself.

Selfishly, I was glad I’d heard that
thought. I pushed her hair back from her face, cupping her cheeks
as I kissed her forehead.

I remember baby,
I assured her.
I’ve been
dreaming of you—of us.

Sariah sighed, relief washed over her face
swiftly like a rising tide on a beach.

I didn’t at first.
I added hesitantly.

Tell me.
She looked away from me. Her thought was barely a
whisper in my mind.

Eliza found me and—well our bodies are
different, Sariah. We can’t fight what we need in order to survive.
Eliza and I have done things.

Sariah stiffened and tried to pull away but
I held her to me; turning her so she straddled my lap.

“
I didn’t remember
anything at first, and I was hurt,” I breathed into my neck,
holding her close. My need for her was building up the energy
between us was sizzling. “But nothing between Eliza and I will ever
be like
us.
You
know that.”

I felt her heart pick up its rhythm at the
sound of my words. There was just a breath’s space between us. I
could feel our chi growing it was more powerful than it had ever
been before.

You’re not the only one
who has a confession.
Sariah thought to
me.

She smiled weakly; clearly afraid to tell me
and I knew it had to do with Ajani.

We owe each other
honesty,
I told her.
Tell me.

It took a lot of energy to
find you to find me and fight all those Banguri,
she thought to me.

I already knew where this was going. I just
didn’t know how far it had gone.

I hurt myself scanning
miles of land on Second-Plane,
Sariah
explained.
Ajani kissed me so I could have
the energy to fight the Banguri guarding the portal and get to you.
It was the only way.

I felt my face darken with
jealous. He had finally gotten a piece of her and it enraged me.
But at the same time, hadn’t I just told her that our bodies were
different? There had to be allowances for survival. I struggled to
check my emotions and searched her eyes for any clues as to if what
had happened between Ajani and her was more than just survival. I
knew he wanted more, but I only cared about what
she
wanted.

Go on,
I urged her.

Ajani thinks there’s something more between
us. Kissing him wasn’t awful, but like when you were with Eliza,
nothing with anyone else will ever compare to us.

“
Do you—do you still want
to be together?” Sariah asked me out loud.

I tipped her head back trailing my thumb
along the space between her the start of her neck and the end of
her jaw. Her eyes closed at my touch. Her reaction to me washed
away the rest of my jealous. He could never truly have her. She
wasn’t his to have. We’d always belong to each other.

I couldn’t resist you if I
tried,
I thought to her
honestly.

“
Do you want to?” she
asked, her voice soft.

I’m angry, but I imagine so are you.

I moved her head back to me and parted her
mouth with my tongue taking more than I ever had before. I had
always been cautious with her, slower, gentle. But I need to know
she was mine.

I swallowed her moan as I felt her hips
grind against me. I stood, holding her tight to my body as I moved.
Her legs wrapped around me like a coil and I shot down the rest of
the hallway to my studio. I didn’t care if this was a practical
time or not.

I swung the door open and kicked it shut
behind me. I dropped her roughly on the bed. The springs squeaked
beneath my weight as I followed down on top of her. Our chi was
flaring and our carnality was taking over. She wiggled out of her
suit, conveniently I was already naked.

Sariah sat up kissing me. I opened my eyes
and looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips were a berry
colored swollen, her hair was springing in every direction. I
wanted to devour her, to claim her in a way that would touch her
soul. I’d ruin her for other men. She’d know she’d always belong to
me.

“
Open your eyes,” I told
her.

They fluttered open.

“
Tell me,” I told
her.

“
What?” she said. Her
voice was dripping with velvet.

“
Tell me,” I ordered her
again. I dipped my head down low catching her nipple with my teeth.
She arched, rocking her hips into mine trying to find her way to
me. I released her nipple and steadied her waist down into the
mattress with my hand.

“
Not yet,” I said. “Tell
me first.”

“
Tell you what?” she said,
her voice sounding dizzy with desire.

I almost couldn’t hold back, but this was
important. I needed to hear it and she needed to hear herself say
it. I pushed her legs apart dipping my face into her valley.

“
I know, you know,” I said
my breath blazing against her thigh. I nipped at the highest point
of her leg.

Keegan,
she moaned wordlessly.
Please.

“
Say it,” I told her. I
caught her pearl between my lips and suckled it. She quivered
beneath me, gasping loudly. Her hand tangled into my hair urging me
forward but I wouldn’t bend. I trailed my tongue around the opening
of her but that was all. She was going to have to give me what I
needed before I’d give her what she wanted.

I pulled my head up bring my face back to
hers and kissed her deeply. My hand was still on her waist and her
torso was strained against me. I was just inches above her. I could
have her right now, she was more than ready, but I kept her
down.

Trailing my tongue against the rim of her
ear, I repeated, “Tell me, Sariah. I need to hear it.”

“
It’s always been you, I
choose you!” Sariah said her voice alto deep with
passion.

I slid into her in one fluid motion.

I wrapped my arms around her holding her to
me and let my body take over. I felt her hands claw up my back and
lock into my hair. With each stroke of my hips we were changing.
She cried out climaxing first, her body shuddering beneath me. But
I wasn’t done. I slowed down kissing her tenderly as I still
moved.

“
We’re not done yet,” I
whispered into her ear. I caught her nipple in my mouth and her
eyes lashes fluttered as she moaned. I felt her re-slick around me.
I had wanted to break her walls down but her arousal for me, her
reaction to my touch was destroying barriers I didn’t even knew I
had. I was going to make us more than just lovers, I was going to
make us
ours.

“
Open your eyes and look
at me,” I said.

Sariah opened her eyes. They were glossy
with emotion. She was growing closer to coming again with each
breath.

“
I’m not going to hold
back now,” I growled in her ear, lust giving way to
passion.

“
God, Keegan I don’t want
you to,” she panted back her fingers digging into my
back.

I pushed in deep filling her completely. Her
eyes snapped shut as she bucked; her back curving as she lifted off
the bed.

“
Keep them open baby. We
need to see each other.”

She opened them and the look she gave melted
me down. We came together soaking ourselves. I leaned forward
weakly on my arm not wanting to put all my weight on her. I pulled
out of her and she moaned her muscles palpitating in small jerks
beneath me. Her eyes we closed now and I rolled over pulling her
body on top of mine. Are breathing was ragged, and it took a few
minutes for it to go back to normal.

I knew we couldn’t stay like this for long,
even though I wanted to. Ajani and Eliza were waiting. I hadn’t
even thought of them.

“
Are you okay? That
was…intense.”

“
Yes, it was,” she
answered back. I couldn’t read any particular emotion in her voice
so I was surprised when she sat up urgently.

“
We’d better go,” I added
hopping up off the bed. I dug around in the closet. I was looking
for my suit from Second-Plane. I knew Eliza had stashed it in here
somewhere. I had to open a few drawers to find it. When I did, I
came back into the bedroom and began peeling it over my body.
Sariah was just slipping it over her breasts and even though I
should have been completely satiated I wanted to have her all over
again. No, it would never be like this with anyone else.

“
We can’t just have sex
all the time,” she said mischievously at me as she finished
dressing.

I was relieved at the playful normality in
her voice. It felt like home.

“
If only,” said slyly as I
pulled the sleeves over my arm. I went over to her. The top of her
head came just to where my mouth was. I gently grabbed a handful of
hair at the nap of her neck and tugged those it back. She inhaled
sharply tilting back her head. Before I could kiss her she entwined
a hand in my own hair and brought me to her entrenching my mouth
with hers. I pulled back breathless. Her eyes were mischievously
confident.

“
I like you smug,” I said
brushing my lips against her cheek. “Come on. We have to get
back.”

25: SARIAH

We walked into the hallway. It was empty and
quiet. I felt Keegan reach over and link fingers with mine. It was
a casual and he had done it a hundred times since we met, but after
everything that had happened, it still gave me butterflies. We were
still okay. After he fell through the portal and I wasn’t sure if
we’d be able to get him back, I realized how much I needed him. We
were more than lovers or venku or soul mates, we were friends.

We were just at the doorway back to Eliza’s
apartment when he pulled me aside. I thought he was going to say
something to me but he just tilted his head down kissing me. I rose
up on my toes to reach him. His hands caressed my face as his lips
brushed sweetly against mine. He released me smiling warmly before
kissing the crown of my head. I was going to ask him what that was
for when the floor creaked and I was aware of someone watching us
from the doorway.

It was Eliza and her disappointed expression
said it all.

Feeling guilty I shifted my weight trying to
move away from Keegan in an attempt to spare her some pain but he
held me firmly to his side.

Never be ashamed of us and
don’t worry how other people feel about it,
he thought to me.

My stomach churned as
empathy for her swirled within me. I know how upset I’d been at
seeing him with her but inevitable I’d known we’d come back
together. But it was different for her. He’d never love her, he’d
never want her, all her feelings were destined to remain
unrequited. I felt bad for her and a little guilty that I’d ended
her fantasy, but it was my happiness or her’s and I choose myself.
We couldn’t both have him and Keegan was after all
mine.