Souls Aflame (57 page)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Julie had lost all concept of time. The days couldn’t really be distinguished one from the other, and they would finally blend into weeks which blurred in her memory.

Gordon had placed her in one of Richmond’s most fashionable hotels. She could not complain about the comfort provided by her surroundings, though it did not matter.

Luther took her out for walks in the refreshing spring air, and he was constantly harping that she was growing too thin, nagging her to eat more. Bless him, she thought fondly; she knew she could not have endured her existence without him. He continued to make sure that the amorous Confederates she encountered were properly drugged, sparing her the ultimate anguish of their total violation of her body.

He was in love with her. She had sensed it long ago. And he had tried to tell her of his feelings many times but then held back. She was thankful he had not actually spoken the words. Though he was a dear, treasured friend, and she knew her life would truly be an insufferable hell if he were not ever-present as a buffer, she did not want to think about love.

Love. Did such an emotion actually exist? she wondered bitterly. Of course, she had loved Myles and would forever mourn him. And maybe she had cared for Thomas once, before her venomous feelings for his mother had obliterated any possibility of their getting together. God, that seemed centuries ago. Had there ever been sunshine and warm, wind-swept skies, laughter and happiness and joy? Perhaps, she reflected gloomily, she had known those things…in another life.

Thoughts of Derek kissed her mind. To be held tightly in his arms, to burrow her face against his shoulder—oh, it was to experience an overwhelming security that no other man could ever create. Yes, he infuriated her with his arrogance, but he could also make her bloom like a spring rose. His power over her had left her drunk with wonder. Now she wondered once more how her life would have been different had he kept his promise to return. But he had told her over and over that his love was the sea, and no woman would ever anchor his heart. Perhaps he had been completely honest and she was no more to him than a momentary desire which, once satiated, returned him to his life as the tide flowed into the endless horizon.

A sudden rap on her door brought her out of reverie. It was mid-day, but she still wore her satin dressing gown. Pulling the lace collar closer about her throat, she called out fearfully, “Yes? Who’s there?”

“It’s Luther, Julie,” came the warm, husky voice, and she hurried to let him in.

He was holding a silver tray in his hands. “I thought you might be hungry. I let you sleep later than usual. Last night was rough, wasn’t it?”

She frowned and turned away, not wanting to remember. The officer had not wanted to drink, and it had taken a good bit of coaxing to finally persuade him. During that time, he had fondled her naked body, and several times she feared he would go ahead and ravish her. A shudder went through her. Luther saw it and reached out to pat her back lightly. “It’s all right, Julie. Just remember I’m in the next room, and if you ever need me, all you’ve got to do is tap on the wall.”

Her laugh was bitter, caustic. “And if I did, and you came running in to defend my so-called honor, it would expose Major Fox’s whole set-up, wouldn’t it? We’d probably both be killed, he’d be so furious. No.” She shook her head with finality. “I just have to keep on praying that I can get them to drink, drug them, keep on playing games…dangerous games, I fear.”

He set the tray on the bed. She stared at the coffee, the plate of eggs and oatmeal, then said she wasn’t hungry. “Come on now.” He tried to make his voice bright. “We can’t have you getting sick. It’s my job to take care of you, and Fox would just love an excuse to send me elsewhere and keep you himself.”

“I know,” she sighed, sitting down and starting to pick at the eggs. “For both of us, I’ll try. I don’t want you sent into battle, and I certainly don’t want to be left alone with Gordon and Veston. We both know you’re the only reason they leave me alone. Even though Gordon is your commanding officer, you’ve made it quite clear you would never stand for him…“ Her voice trailed off as she lifted her eyes and saw the strange expression on his face. She laid down her fork, suddenly apprehensive as she asked, “Luther, why are you looking at me like that?”

He bit the inside of his cheek, folded his hands backwards to crack his knuckles nervously, glanced up at the ceiling, then finally looked her straight in the eye and said: “I want to get you out of all this. I want to take you and leave.”

She began to tremble with…what? Fear? Hope? When she could find her voice, she whispered, “Are you sure? Are you positive you want to take such a risk? They’d kill us if they caught us.”

“I’m sure,” he nodded firmly, “but I just haven’t figured out when or how.” He sucked in his breath and averted his gaze from those luscious breasts peeking through the sheer lace bodice of her gown. He hurried on, “I just wanted to find out if you’d go with me. I mean, last night, lying there in my bed, right next door, knowing what that son of a bitch was in here doing to you…dammit, Julie, I couldn’t stand it. I almost came bustin’ in here, but I held back, not sure how you felt—”

“You mean about escaping?” She blinked, bewildered. “Surely you know I hate my life, Luther. I don’t know what waits for me out there, but anything is better than this.”

“Even…” he caught his breath, then plunged onward, “…even being my woman?”

“Your—your
woman
?” she gasped, her mind dancing in circles as it tried to comprehend what he was saying.

“Yes, my woman, dammit!” He lunged toward her, knocking the tray aside, and pushed her roughly back onto the bed. With eager hands he jerked her gown open, burrowing his face between her breasts as he groaned, “Surely to God you’ve known how I’ve loved you all this time…wanted you. I’ve tried to fight it, but I can’t, not anymore…”

She pushed at his shoulders, begging him to stop, but he kissed each nipple, then lifted his mouth to cover hers, silencing her cries of protest. Parting her thighs with his knee, his eager fingers darted between her legs and began to gently caress her. Raising his head slightly, he whispered, “I’ll be good to you. I’ll never hurt you. I swear it. I’ll make it wonderful for both of us. Just let me love you, Julie. Let me do what I’ve been aching to do since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

He began to kiss her again, devouring her mouth with his tongue as her brain screamed silently to her body that it was not to yield to the flames of desire that were being ignited. But her body was not obeying her command. They had shared too much together. He had been so gentle and tender, the way he was being now, despite his passion. And God forgive her, even though she did not love him, she wanted what she knew he was about to give her!

He did not take her right away, for he wanted to be a skillful lover, to satisfy her completely. He moved his hand to caress her nipples, gently, firmly, and even the slight twinge of pain was delicious. He maneuvered his body so that his swollen organ pressed against her, letting her know what he had to offer, and what she had to admit in all honesty she wanted to receive.

“Tell me to love you,” he commanded when she was but a whimpering mass of desire beneath him. “Tell me to take you, as hard as I can, as long as I can, anytime I want. Tell me you’re my woman, even if you don’t love me. Tell me you’re mine, and I swear to God, I’ll get you out of all this and do my damndest to make those beautiful eyes of yours shine with happiness once again.”

“But I don’t love you, Luther,” she cried, her body writhing beneath him. “I won’t lie to you—”

“You don’t have to lie when you tell me you want me. I can feel it. I can see it in those goddamn green eyes. You want me. Let me worry about making you love me. I know I can if you’ll give me the chance. I’ll never let anyone or anything hurt you, ever again…”

His lips covered hers, and his hands moved over her feverish skin, making her moan with the desire he knew she was fighting against.

It took only seconds for him to release himself from his trousers, and then he was entering her, gently at first, then conveying all the hunger that had been stored for so very long. Her buttocks moved beneath him, and he slid his fingers under them to cup her and hold her tightly against him as he plunged again and again.

Julie’s nails clawed at his back as she felt her insides quiver with the first shadow of release. And then it was upon her, that all-consuming wave of pleasure that made her teeth sink into her lower lip and taste blood as she suppressed the scream of joy that reverberated from the very depths of her soul.

And he continued, pushing in and out until he took her to the pinnacle of pleasure again and again. Only when she lay beneath him spent and exhausted, did he allow himself to revel in his own sweet, hungry release.

He lay with his head against her chest, and Julie absently fondled his soft, silky blond hair. She felt guilty only because she did not love him, could not return the deep feelings she knew, without a doubt, that he had for her.

She asked herself whether she could ever return his love, but her heart refused to answer. There was only one thing of which she could be certain: she would never hurt him. He was going to take her away from this decadent existence, and she would do her best to make him happy.

Happy. The word played in her mind like musical notes. She no longer asked to be happy, only that she not be
un
happy. That dream was gone forever, that dream of bliss…like Myles, and Derek…and Rose Hill. And Luther would see to it that she was, at least, not sad. He was good and kind and gentle, and they shared a love for music, and he cared for her, and dear Lord, it was a start, a beginning.

Then why, she asked her swirling inner being, did she still hold such a deep sense of despair after such rationalizing? Again, there was no answer.

Neither of them heard the gentle scrape of the key turning in the lock and were not aware of Gordon Fox’s presence till he chuckled, “Well, how touching! Of course, I knew all along this was why you were so protective of our little jewel, Luther.”

Luther swore as he moved away, quickly jerking the covers up to hide Julie’s nakedness before straightening his own clothing.

Embarrassed, Julie turned her face to the wall, not wanting to face the major’s glittering eyes.

“You get your kicks spying on people, do you?” Luther snapped angrily as he tucked his shirt into his pants.

“Oh, don’t be a fool,” Gordon sniffed. “I’ve allowed you to drug the Rebs to keep them from having their way with her, haven’t I? I think I’ve been very damned cooperative, so the two of you can return the favor tonight.”

Luther gritted his teeth and turned away toward the window to stare down at the streets of Richmond. “What’s so blasted special about tonight?” he snapped.

“We have a different situation.” Gordon sat down near the bed, crossed his knees, and smiled as Julie looked at him. She pulled the coverlet even tighter about her neck, hoping the glare she gave him mirrored her deep hatred and contempt.

He continued to smile, and directed himself to her. “You won’t be prying information out of anyone tonight, my sweet. You will be merely setting a trap.”

Luther swung around quickly. “What kind of trap?” he demanded suspiciously.

The major’s gaze remained riveted upon Julie as he asked, “Have you ever heard of the Gray Devil, Luther?”

“Yeah, I guess everybody has,” he said tightly, curiously. “He’s the crazy son of a bitch that dresses up like a Federal cavalryman, him and his men, and they ride right into our lines and massacre right and left. He’s becoming a living legend.”

“After tonight, he will be,” Gordon chuckled. “But not a
living
legend. He’ll be quite dead.”

Suddenly Luther moved to stand beside him and exclaim, “You mean he’s here, in Richmond? How can you be certain?”

Fox raised an eyebrow and gave him a contemptuous look. “It’s my business to find out these things, Luther. Yes, he’s here in Richmond. One of my most reliable sources informed me where he’s hanging out, and that is where you will go tonight and take Julie. I’ve arranged for her to sing at the little saloon, and I’m having a very special dress sent up for her to wear. Our friend the Gray Devil will be quite taken with her. You will let him know she’s available, for a price. Once he arrives here, in this room, and Julie gets him in a vulnerable position, he will be…let us say…disposed of.”

“You’re talking about me setting up a man for murder?” Julie cried, shaking her head from side to side. “I’ve done many things, but never this. You can’t ask me to.”

“Oh, you’ll do it,” Fox said confidently, looking almost bored over her outburst. “And don’t act so virtuous. When you pass along information you wheedle and coax out of your lovers, how do you know you’re not passing a death sentence on hundreds of Rebel soldiers?”

She paled. “You—you’ve told me I’ve never really given you anything of great importance. I couldn’t have caused anyone’s death.”

Gordon waved his hand in a gesture of intolerance. “It’s of no consequence. You’ll do as you’re told, Julie, or I’ll sell you into some bawdy house, where you’ll wish you were dead within a week. So don’t argue with me. I’ve no time for it.”

She saw Luther’s eyes flash, but felt relieved that he was controlling himself, not leaping to her defense. He would not let this terrible thing happen to her. She could just feel it in her heart.