Soulmates Dissipate (28 page)

Another important factor is, don’t choose your mate or leave them based upon someone else’s opinion. Make your own decision. You’re the one who has to live with it. If you need time away from an unhealthy environment, take it. Heal from within and you’ll be free to love again. If you’re already in a relationship with your soulmate, paying attention to what the other person is saying may help the two of you grow together instead of drift apart. If you haven’t found your soulmate, you won’t find him/her as long as you continue to focus on the physical.

Remember, people are not perfect. Far too often we hold others to a higher level of expectation than ourselves. If you stop and think, you can probably recall at least one occasion when you promised to call someone or do something for your significant one, and you either forgot or simply didn’t have the time. Even worse, you may have
not been true to yourself when you made the commitment. You may have hung up that phone and immediately said
… I am not going to call him back and I hope he doesn’t call me.
A good rule of measure is … always judge yourself harder than you evaluate others.

Additionally, if you have to revisit the same argument or disagreement for days on end, someone isn’t listening. Resolve your relationship issues as quickly as possible so your spirit can be at peace. You can’t live and lie and then question why your relationship failed. The
truth
of the matter is, you already know. Just as if you don’t check your financial statement, you cannot balance your bank account. If you never check yourself, you can’t possibly balance your relationship. Remember; listen with your eyes, ears, and spirit.

“J
ada, I thought we were soulmates, but then you changed on me. I saw a side of you I’d never seen before. I didn’t realize you had such an awful temper. You always seemed so peaceful. Jada, this was the first authentic challenge of our relationship. And your actions proved you didn’t trust me. When I tried to open up to you, you slapped my face and ran out the door. When I called you, you hung up on me. When I went to sleep, you turned my house into the Hunan Garden.”

Jada looked out of the corners of her eyes. Her lips curled.

“I’m serious damn it! This is
not
a joke,” Wellington continued. “You didn’t try to meet me halfway. I made a mistake. I was honest enough to share that with you. I’m not perfect and I don’t try to be.
I told you that the first time we went out. And now that you’re ready to talk, am I supposed to be ready too? Look, I still love you. I’ll always love you. But I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to get married.”

G
enerally women are too quick to point the finger and men are too fast to bail out. At some point we all have to just own up to our responsibility. People are human beings, not perfect beings.

For men, sex is a recreational sport and love is totally separate. For women, sex is sacred and synonymous with love. So how on earth do we ever hit a home run when we’re constantly playing the field in different parks? One wants to play the outfield while the other insists on being the short stop. It really doesn’t matter because no one is covering the home plate. And even if someone were playing catcher, they’d never catch the ball because the pitcher is at a totally different ball game.

This explains why a woman can say
I love you
to a man after dating for only a few months. This is
perplexing to a man who may not honestly be able to say those same three words after being in a relationship for a year. Just like sports, a man can throw his heart and soul into the here and now, but after the sex is over he’s ready for a greater challenge.

Some may think this is cold and callous when in fact it’s conditioning. Men are reared differently from women. When a man cries, he’s perceived to be weak. However, when a woman cries, she’s understood to be hurting. Pain is painful irrespective of gender. A failed relationship with a loved one can silently scar a man for life; thereby, making it difficult for him to make a commitment to the next woman. Men do think with their heads and not as often with the little one as women believe. Very seldom does a man treat his woman the way he
expects
another man to treat his daughter. On the other hand, a woman seldom expects another woman to treat her son as well as she does. So what does this say about how men and women think and feel? This is mental conditioning at its worst.

As a result women become wounded. But men already think … she’ll get over it. It’s expected. More often than not, she will and she does and she moves on to the next man. Eventually women begin to believe all men are alike. Well, let me tell you … they’re not. The problem is neither the woman nor the man changes her/his expectations. Three months after the next relationship she’s right back where she failed the first time and a year later, guess what, he still hasn’t said those three words she’s longing to hear.

This repetition often keeps one from connecting with his/her soulmate. Women need to think
more with their heads and men need to think more with their hearts. Only then will both play the same game in the same park. You can start today by dismissing societal expectations and
release your inner spirit.

“S
o how is Mr. Terrell Morgan doing these days?” Jada asked as she looked over the San Francisco Bay.

“Well, let’s see. We still talk at least once a week and I am so tempted to have a serious relationship with him but long-distance never works out. Someone eventually ends up having to move and I don’t envision moving to Los Angeles and he’s in the peak of his career.
Every
modeling agency wants him.”

Jada nodded.” We get at least three inquiries per day.” Terrell was labeled the new Tyson on the block.

“I just don’t know.” “You don’t know what?”

Candice sighed.” I know girl, it is so unlike me. My heart says yes but my head says no. So until one or the other gives in, I’ll just be in limbo.”

“As long as you realize he may not be in limbo as long as you. It’s cool.” Jada recognized this was the first time Candice was concerned about dating a younger man.

The following is reserved for you to write down—right now—a message to your lost, found, or future soulmate. As you write, remember the
five key elements. Regardless of your decision, verbally communicate your feelings to your soulmate. Understand that the true meaning of your soulmate is not in words: it’s inside of you. So, let your spirit flow from your heart to your pen. Remember, art is created through the mind, body, soul, and spirit of the artist. You are now,
the artist.

Love always,

Turn the page for a look at Mary B. Morrison’s
Never Again Once More

“L
ord give me strength,” Jada whispered as she dropped her cell phone into her purse. Inhaling through her nose, she removed her electronic notebook from the overhead compartment and sighed heavily. Never mentioning Wellington Jones by name, she had posed multiple relationship questions to the stranger seated next to her in row one, since he had been happily married to the same woman for over fifty years.

“Sir, thank you for lending an ear.” Jada took one step back, allowing him to retrieve his belongings. His brown scuffed briefcase was torn at every corner, and the gold-plated latches had turned mostly silver. The black rubber beneath his walking cane was worn to the slanted wood.

The elderly man licked his dentures, scratched his receding hairline, and replied in his raspy voice, “That’s why God gave us two. One so we can
listen to how selfish we sound and the other for us to hear. Seems as though you’ve been listening, but you’re so busy hearing yourself, you haven’t heard what he’s trying to tell you. I’ve managed to stay married because my wife, she respects my manhood and doesn’t try to reduce me to being one of our twelve kids.” Then he dug into his butt, relieving himself of a wedgee.

Respect was earned, not given because a man was anatomically correct.” But did I mention to you”—Jada moved closer so the person beside her wouldn’t overhear—“he impregnated another woman?”

The old man wasn’t as kind to speak low in return.” So did the Reverend Jesse Jackson, but you don’t see his wife abandoning him. And if Hillary can forgive Bill, why can’t you forgive …” This time he dug deeper into his butt and grunted, “What’s his name?” His hand quivered, touching hers.

Frowning, Jada said, “Wellington,” for the first time during their discussion.

“Yeah, that’s it. Jandra, you’re a pretty girl. I’ll tell you like I’ve told all of my kids, ‘Pride and love is like oil and water. They don’t mix.’ The sooner you realize that, the healthier your relationship will be.”

He still hadn’t pronounced her name correctly; but his wisdom surpassed her logic, so Jada moved ahead of him, impatiently waiting as the exit door opened.

The flight attendant smiled cheerfully.” Thank you for flying the friendly skies.” Absent her smile, the attendant resembled one of the girls from
Robert Palmer’s rock video “Simply Irresistible”: pale face, straight black hair slicked back, and red lipstick.

Jada’s lips parted, but she didn’t respond. Instead, she stretched her five-foot-nine frame until an arch formed in her lower vertebrae. When her black thigh-high boot crossed the threshold and landed on the walkway, a gust of cold air raced up the front split in her cashmere skirt and kissed her red lace thong. Briskly tracing another passenger’s footsteps, Jada wished Candice would be late so she’d have an excuse to avoid reliving her best friend’s wedding and honeymoon plans.

Not only was Candice timely, but she was the first person Jada noticed when the attendant opened the second exit door leading into the concourse.

“Hey, girl. I thought you were going to backslide, especially since you didn’t call me last night.” Candice extended a Holy Names prep girl hug, giving Jada three pats on the back.” I like the sexy style. You look like a woman in search of a new man. That’s a good thing.” Rambling on, Candice pinched the edges of Jada’s jacket and peeped inside.” I’m scared of you, Ms. Thang, a split almost up to your clit. Terrell would never allow me to wear this.” She released Jada’s blazer.” But what’s up with all the black? Are we mourning our loss?” Fanning the wind, Candice emphatically said, “Forget Wellington. He doesn’t deserve you.”

The little old man slowly walked by hunched over his cane, “She’s got that right,” he said.

What was that supposed to mean? Jada had taken enough of his insults, and if he wasn’t seventy
something, she’d tell him to go straight to hell. Sighing again, she thought,
Ms. Thang, not Mrs. Jones.
Maybe he was right.

Jada placed her computer bag in Candice’s wavering hand and retrieved the waterless sanitizer from her purse.” Let’s stop at Starbucks; I could use an iced frappuccino.” Sniffing the freshness on her fingertips, she tilted her head back, lifted her smooth straight hair, and gradually released it behind her shoulders.

“How’s Terrell?” Jada raised Candice’s hand, tugged at her clothes, and pointed at her head.” Where are your acrylic nails? What’s up with the Suzie homemaker muumuu dress? And why are you wearing that pent-up out-of-date hairstyle?”

Candice’s flat shoes really made her every fraction of five feet four inches. Her once lavish nails were now nubs so short her flesh protruded beyond the edges. A soon-to-be thirty-three-year-old diva was retired in her prime because the broom she was about to jump had already swept her raving beauty under the carpet. Candice had once dressed so provocatively she stopped everything except time.

Terrell wore muscle shirts whenever he wanted and smiled in the faces of gorgeous women, justifying his actions based on his professional image. The most sought after male model, in higher demand than Tyson, had landed his first acting role starring opposite Morris Chestnut, so he’d immediately postponed marrying Candice.

Jada remembered the days—less than six months ago—when she worked at Sensations Communications photographing the world’s finest male models, including Terrell. But once Wellington’s
wicked aunt Cynthia landed Melanie a job as her boss, Jada typed up her resignation, handed it to the receptionist, and kept on stepping. As long as Candice Jordan catered to Terrell Morgan’s needs, he was satisfied. That was exactly what Jada refused to do, compromise herself for the sake of having a man.

The airport was overcrowded. Travelers lined the walls and blocked the aisles.” Flight eighty-one has been changed to gate eleven.” Outbound passengers grumbled loudly; some of them dragged kids along. Since Jada had experienced the inconveniences of LAX on numerous occasions, she anticipated the seemingly standard announcement.

Standing in line next to her, Candice replied, “My husband is fine. My husband didn’t like the nails or the body-hugging clothes; but my husband loves this hairstyle, and he loves me.” Candice fingered the chestnut-colored curl hanging alongside her face.” I have our wedding planner in the car. You’ve got to see the fabrics and colors. You’re going to be the most attractive maid of honor.” Candice flipped her wrist to display the diamond marquis her fiancé had recently bought.