SOULLESS (Black Thorns, #2) (21 page)

I grab him, use his weight against him and slam him into the wall, switching our positions. I plunge my fist into his ribs. Once. Twice. He wheezes and wavers on his feet. Another hit has him on his ass. I shoot him between the eyes the second he hits the ground.

But then the other two are on me. Weird thing is, their guns are holstered now. Seems like they’re just tryin’ to subdue me.

Like that’s gonna happen. Think they can break into my place in the middle of the fucking night?

Rage rips through me and I roar as I push ‘em both off me. They both fall back, their eyes wide that I just threw ‘em off me like they weren’t nothing but a couple of flies or some shit. I’ve always been strong, but, the last six months, with all my frustration over Rox, I been working out like a crazy man.

I punch the closest one in the throat and he falls to his knees, choking. A bullet through his heart ends it.

Grabbing the other one by his shoulders, I slam him into the wall. I press the muzzle of my gun to his right temple and he cries out in terror, “Stop! Wait! We’re not here for
you
.”

“What?” I snarl.

“The girl. The mission was to kill her. Kent wants her dead.”

“She
is
dead! You killed her! In the bed. You just fucking shot my girl!” All lies, but I’m a damn good actor, looks like, cuz the guy’s shit-scared I’m ‘bout to lose my shit big time. Invading my fucking home to try to kill her in the first place is enough for me to lose my goddamn shit. But I know I gotta hold in my temper here. I gotta be smart ‘bout this to protect my girl. They gotta think she’s dead. And I gotta let this asshole go, so it gets back to Kent. Time for unleashing my rage will come later when it’s just me I gotta worry ‘bout getting hurt.

I release him roughly and he stumbles back.

“Get outta here.”

“You’re not…you’re letting me go?” he asks, shocked.

“Just told me you ain’t a threat to me. Too much fucking blood on my hands already.”

He don’t say another word, probably worried I’m gonna change my mind. He just bolts outta the room. I hear him running down the stairs, hear the front door slam, then a car start. He’s gone.

I glance ‘round the bedroom. Bodies and blood fucking everywhere.

Don’t got time to deal with it right now. Gotta get Rox to the clubhouse right away.

I bolt outta the room and rush back to the garage to get her.

I’m down the stairs and halfway across the living room, on my way to the front entrance of the garage, when a sudden gunshot stops me in my tracks.

Behind me.

It takes me a few seconds to realize I ain’t got a bullet embedded in my damn back.

I spin ‘round to see Rox standing in the kitchen doorway, a gun in her hand and a guy sprawled at her feet.

Jesus fuck.

“Didn’t anyone ever teach you how to watch your six, Neil?” she says, smirking at me.

“I told you to stay in the fucking garage!” I thunder, as I storm over to her.

She eyes the guy at her feet quickly, before looking back at me. “If I had, you’d be dead.”

“Debatable.”

“Yeah? Is it?” she challenges. “Because, from where I’m standing—”

“Shut it.”

“What?” she fumes.

I ignore her and crouch down by the guy. He’s groaning quietly. Just as I thought. She took a non-fatal shot, as usual.

I get to my feet and tell her, “Turn ‘round.”

She eyes me suspiciously. “Why?”

“He’s seen you. I got no choice.”

“Seen me? What are you talking about? What’s going on here, Neil?”

Like I got time to get into all that. I scrub my hand over my face, tryin’ to calm my agitation. “Babe, either turn ‘round or go into the living room. We don’t got time to talk this out. I gotta get you back to the clubhouse ASAP.”

She shakes her head. “No, Neil. I won’t let you. You’re not killing him.”

“He was here to kill
you
!”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Don’t matter?” I growl at her. Is she fucking serious here?

“He’s not a threat now. There’s no need. It’s cold blood, Neil.”

“As long as he’s alive, he’s a threat. Make no mistake. If it gets back to Kent that you—”

She lunges at me.

I react quick, grabbing her and wrapping my left arm ‘round her. I turn so she’s facing away from the asshole on the ground. Before she can try to fight me and stop me, I adjust my grip on my Desert Eagle in my right hand, taking aim at the fucker squirming ‘round on my kitchen floor.

And then I fire.

The guy’s dead in an instant as my bullet drives into his skull.

“No! No! No!” Rox cries out. She struggles against me and, before I know it, she manages to get a look at the kitchen.

I hear her gasp.

That’s just the calm before the storm, cuz then she loses it completely.

She starts screaming at the top of her lungs.

Hysterical.

She tries to lunge outta my hold to go to the guy.

Hell, no.

“Time to go,” I say, holstering my gun and sweeping her up into my arms. I keep a tight, confining hold ‘round her as I carry her through the living room and outta the damn house.

Chapter 24

~Roxana~

“Dead?” I say. “I’m dead?”

“Was the only way to keep you safe, babe,” Neil tells me. “To stop Kent from coming after you.”

I eye his Harley that he just parked in the clubhouse garage. We just got back a couple of minutes ago. “That’s why we rode on
your
bike, rather than me taking my own?”

“One reason, yeah. If your bike’s gone from the house and Kent sends some guys ‘round to check it out, gonna know I was lying ‘bout you being dead, figuring you rode it outta there.”

“
One
reason? What’s the other?”

“Fact you were fucking hysterical.”

I turn away and start for the exit, but he calls out, “I don’t get it. The business you used to be in must’ve had you seeing shit like that.”

He thinks that’s why I lost it? He thinks it was about watching someone die? “You’re right. You
don’t
get it.”

“Don’t give me that cryptic bullshit, Rox!”

The anger and hurt in his words kick starts mine, bringing it all to the surface in one unstoppable wave of emotion. It has me spinning back to him and screaming, “I don’t want to be with a man like my dad, Neil!”

The way he flinches, it’s like I’ve just slapped him across the face.

“I ain’t him,” he grits out.

Denial? Yeah, that’s healthy. Argh. He clearly wants to get into this, so that’s exactly what we’ll do then. I fold my arms across my chest and tell him, “My dad can look a man in the eyes and not even hesitate to put a bullet in his skull. I never thought you were the same. I know you’ve done…things. I’m not naïve. I just never thought you were…
him.
That’s exactly what I saw from you tonight. You became him.”

“Rox—”

But I’m not done and I cut him off before he can say another word, “I might’ve found a way to get past what my dad’s done, but I will
never
accept it. Some things are
gray
, but others are purely black and white. Cold-blooded murder being one of them. My dad is
soulless
, Neil. And he’ll never be anything else. He’ll always be that way. Why? Because he crossed a line—a line he can never come back from. A huge part of him is dead inside. And…having that…in you…the man I love…
that’s
why I lost it tonight. It’s one of my worst nightmares…losing you in that way…like I’ve lost him.”

He just stares at me for a long while, clearly taking my words in. But then he does what he always does when someone’s questioning him. He shuts down.

And it hurts as I see that familiar mask of anger come over his face.

“Did what I had to do to protect you, Rox.”

“Neil—”

“No. You know that’s why I did it. And I’d fucking do it again.”

“Shit, Neil!” I yell. “Don’t you see?”

“See what?” he growls, pissed.

“We’re bad for each other!”

“Like hell, we are.”

“We
are
! Look at the lengths you go to for me. The things you’re doing, because of me. That list? You were prepared to
murder
a bunch of people, before I took it out of your hands and went about it another way. It’s not…it’s not good.” I run my fingers through my hair and shake my head, trying to stop the tears I can feel coming. “We’re not good for each other. I can’t…I can’t have you doing these things, because of me.
I
can’t be the reason for you becoming a soulless monster. It has to stop here. It has to, Neil.”

He takes a step towards me and barks, “No way you gonna be talkin’ like this, Rox. You’re my woman and that ain’t never gonna change. And, in case you forgot, you’re also carrying my kid in you.”

“Forgot?” I scoff. “Yeah, like the constant throwing up would ever let that happen. Of course, I know I’m pregnant with your child. But maybe we—”

“Don’t even fucking say it. Don’t you fucking dare!” he bellows, enraged now. “You ain’t walking here! You’re
mine
!”

I turn my head away, hating that I can’t stop the tears welling in my eyes. “I can’t be the reason—”

His hand on my hair startles me. He strokes it softly, trying to soothe me.

I jerk my head away. “No, no, no.”

I see his hands shaking then. It’s him trying to be soft with me, while being in a state of rage. He’s fighting it, because he sees I’m upset.

“I ain’t losing you again, Rox,” he says, his voice softer now. “Please, babe.” His fingers brush mine. “You’re just in a state right now. You ain’t thinking—”

I move away from him. How dare he? “I’m not thinking
clearly
? Don’t do that. Don’t pretend there isn’t an issue here and blame it on hormones or exhaustion. Don’t
do
that! I know what I’m saying. I know what I’m doing.
You’re
the one who doesn’t. You’re so far in denial that you can’t even recognize the road you’re going down. And I can’t let you keep walking it.” I take a few more steps back, moving towards the garage entrance into the clubhouse. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I can’t look at him as I choke out, “And you won’t if I’m not with you.”

I can’t bear to see the look on his face, or to hear his response, because I know it’ll cut into me more than I can take right now. I’m barely holding it together saying this. But I have to. I have to protect
him
now. And this is the only way. He can’t see clearly when it comes to me. The things he does in the name of protecting me are sickening to me. I can’t be responsible for him losing himself.

And, so, I turn and run into the clubhouse without another word.

Chapter 25

~Ax~

Still no word from Dealer. This ain’t good. In fact, it’s looking pretty damn bad. I showed the boys how to track him through his cell, but it turned up nothing. The thing must be off. Jesus Christ. Where the hell is he? My gut’s telling me I already know the answer. Just don’t want it to be true. Something must’ve happened. Kent picked up the tail. That’s worst-case-scenario territory. Maybe Dealer was worried ‘bout getting made and decided to lay low. But if that was the case, why the fuck hasn’t he contacted us? Nah, it’s looking like it
is
worst case shit here.

Me and the boys got all our contacts keeping a look out, putting their ears to the ground. It’s gotta turn up something, but this waiting shit is killing me.

And it ain’t the only thing killing me.

That fight with Rox in the garage did a number on me. Keep replaying her words in my head. She thinks I ain’t got no soul. She thinks I can just pull the trigger without giving a fuck. Just like Dealer. She thinks it’s her fault, too. Thinks if we stay together, I’m only gonna become more like him.

But that ain’t it.

I ain’t him and I ain’t
my
old man either.

I shoulda just told her the truth, but I’d shut down instead.

Got no choice now, cuz I can’t lose her again. Can’t let her walk away from me.

I glance at the book in my hands. The journal that’s gonna prove to her that I ain’t the same as Dealer. Been sitting on my bed staring at the damn thing for the last half hour. With all the shit going on right now, didn’t wanna have to do this—to show it to her. It brings stuff to the surface that I can’t be letting into my head right now—emotion, regret and grief. Those ain’t the thoughts a strong leader needs running through his head. Not when the club’s basically on the verge of war, cuz of Kent. Christ. If he’s got Dealer, that’s an automatic call to war right there.