SOULLESS (Black Thorns, #2) (13 page)

Anger consumes me. Anger at the whole situation. At being kept out of the loop. At Ralph getting hurt because he was protecting
me
. I find myself clenching my fists.

I feel that determination and conviction I’d once possessed in spades, returning at long last.

I can feel her coming back—the woman I used to be.

Chapter 15

~Roxana~

I sink my hand into the bowl of popcorn Smiter’s holding in his lap, grab a huge handful and stuff it in my mouth.

“Jesus,” he comments.

I turn from the sitcom we’re watching on the small TV in his room as we sit on the floor leaning against the foot of his bed. “What?”

He laughs. “Just forgot what a pig you are.”

I tell him through a mouthful of popcorn, “I thought that was made pretty clear from our takeout nights at my place back in Brockford.”

“Guess I blocked it out. Plus, back then you were….”

My gaze snaps to his. “What?”

He scrutinizes me with suspicion, his eyes sweeping over me in a clinical way. Uh oh.

“Pregnant. You were pregnant last time I saw you pigging out like this.”

I shrug and look back at the TV. “Yeah.”

“Rox? Are you? Ax knocked you up again?”

I snort out a laugh. “Yeah, right.”

Before he can say another word, I scramble to change the subject and end up blurting out, “So, you hooked up with Halle, huh?”

Halle’s the owner of
Temptress
, a high-end strip club back in Brockford. I introduced Smiter to her a little while back when I was still running things in that city.

“You know?”

“Yep.”

Regret flashes on his face. “She told you the whole story?”

“You mean how you fucked and chucked her? Yeah.”

He grimaces.

“I never pegged you for being
that
guy,” I tell him.

“What guy?”

“Like Runner?” I figure that’s the best way I can explain it.

He grimaces again at the unsavory comparison. Once again he doesn’t elaborate. I don’t think it’s because he doesn’t want to. I think it’s because he’s not used to talking about this stuff. He’s only ever surrounded by a bunch of hard-ass, stoic men after all. I’m sure the most they all manage is typical
locker room
talk.

“What happened?” I press.

“It’s been a while since I’ve…got close. Ain’t been in a relationship since…not for years.”

“Why not?”

Emotion flashes on his face then and I instantly regret pushing it.

I’m about to backpedal and apologize, but then he offers up, “Loved someone once. She died.”

“Oh my God,” I say, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently. “I’m so sorry, Smiter.”

He shrugs. “Long time ago, Rox.”

“What about if you took it slow? Halle’s easygoing. She’s a huge fan of bikers, so you don’t have to worry about her not meshing with your lifestyle. It won’t be another Neil-Rox situation.”

“Yeah, I dunno.” He eyes me. “She holding a grudge?”

“Nothing an apology can’t fix, I’m sure.”

He nods and then leans back against the bed, staring into space.

A somber silence falls between us for too long.

I jump to my feet and tell him, “Let’s go.”

Startled, he asks, “Where?”

“Time to have some fun.”

And time to put my plan in motion.

Despite what my dad said, I can’t sit this one out.

It’s time for the old Rox to start throwing her weight around again.

I need to end this bullshit with Malcolm.

“Come on,” I push Smiter.

He gets to his feet and eyes me nervously. “What you thinking?”

I just grin. “You’re gonna love it.”

***

I push outta the entrance doors into the courtyard where all the noise has been coming from for the last half hour. I was in my office looking over some paperwork on the takeover situation of
Reirdon Construction
when I started hearing it all the way back there. What the fuck’s going on?

I hear the rev of an engine and the sound of tires riding up and down, screeching and burning rubber.

Shouts, cat calls and wolf whistles rip through the area.

I glance ‘round at the boys, seeing money being exchanged.

“Hey, Prez,” Jack, one of the prospects says, holding up a wad of cash. “She’s the one to bet on,” he tells me, before walking off and pushing his way through to the front to get a look at whatever the hell’s going on.

I push my way through, too. As soon as the boys see it’s me, they lift their chins in a sign of respect and then move outta my way.

Mullet slaps me on the back as I reach the front and tells me, “Makes sense now.”

“What does?” I ask, shouting over the noise.

“Her being
your
girl. Remember you pulling the same shit when you were younger.”

What?

My question’s answered when I finally manage to get a good view of what’s going down out here.

Jesus fuck.

Instant hard-on.

Rox is tearing shit up on a bike, putting on a stunt show for the boys.

She’s good. Woman’s got some serious talent. Working the bike real well. The boys gasp as she does a standing wheelie like it ain’t no big deal and it’s just as simple as walking is to her, or some shit.

She nods her head at Smiter who’s standing off to the side.

And that’s when it hits me.

Didn’t before, cuz I was too caught up in her stunt work.

It’s Smiter’s fucking Harley she’s riding.

My fists clench and a low growl leaves me.

She’s riding another man’s bike? In
my
fucking club?

She messing with me on purpose? Or is it that she just don’t get it? Dunno how things work?

I watch her pull another wheelie. She comes off it and then starts drifting, causing all the boys to cheer her on.

Smiter catches my eye and I see him tense up.

He starts making his way over to me through the crowds.

The boys start wolf-whistling and my eyes dart back to Rox.

She’s performing an impressive seat stander wheelie.

Yeah, she’s real good.

My whole body tenses up ‘til the front wheel finally hits the ground again and she coasts to a stop.

By the time she dismounts, the boys are going wild.

Smiter blocks my view as he reaches me.

“Her own bike ain’t here,” he tells me.

My eyes narrow.

“That’s all it was, Ax. Swear it. She needed to blow off some steam with all the shit that’s been happening the last few weeks. You showing up in her life outta the blue, Kent’s threat, being on lockdown here. Girl just needed a breather, yeah?”

I’m tryin’ to hear what he’s telling me, but it ain’t easy when all I’m seeing is red. Seeing her on
his
bike.

I’m ‘bout to rip into him when Rox suddenly skips over to us. I make the mistake of taking my eyes off Smiter and looking at her.

Her whole face is lit up and she’s smiling from ear to ear.

So happy.

Fuck.

I blow out a breath and take a step back from Smiter. My eyes flash at him. “First and only warning. You feel me?”

He nods quickly.

“What?” Rox asks, looking between us worriedly. “What warning?”

I take in the confused look on her face and that’s when I know—she weren’t doing it to piss me off. She really don’t get it.

I draw in a breath and force my voice to come out calm as I tell her, “Nothing, babe. You were real good out there.”

That killer smile of hers is back then as she says, “Thanks.”

A hand slaps my back and I crane my neck to see Grit standing behind me.

He lifts his chin at the boys starting to mimic Rox’s stunt performance. “Want me to keep an eye on this?”

“Yeah. Shut it down when it gets outta hand. ‘Til then just leave ‘em. Good stress relief under lockdown.”

“Got ya, Prez.”

“Thanks, brother.” I turn my attention back to Rox and tell her, “Need to talk, babe. My office, yeah?”

She nods, says her goodbyes to Smiter, and then follows behind me as I lead her back into the clubhouse.

We reach my office and I open the door and usher her inside with my hand on the small of her back. She lets out a little gasp at my sudden touch. I smile to myself then kick the door shut and cross to my desk. Slumping into my chair and grimacing at the fuck load of paperwork spread out all over the desktop, I look to see that she’s settling into one of the chairs opposite.

“You’re mad about the stunting?”

“No, I ain’t mad,” I tell her. I’m mad ‘bout her riding Smiter’s bike, but not ‘bout the stunts. “But you and me gotta talk.”

“About what?”

“You all right here?”

“Yeah. I’m fine,” she says a little too brightly.

“Something you wanna tell me, Rox?”

“Tell you?”

“Rox, I
know
. Just waiting for you to admit it.”

She shrugs. “Admit what, Neil?”

“You’re sick. Runner told me he’s seen you throwing up. Food poisoning, Dealer tells me. Why didn’t
you
tell me? I coulda had a doctor sent in here.”

Something flashes in her eyes then. Something I don’t get. The next thing I know, she’s folding her arms across her chest and barking at me, “You haven’t been around. You don’t want to see me.”

Whoa.

“What?”

“You heard me, Neil,” she bites back, real aggressive.

And right then, I know. She’s back. This is the old Rox talkin’.

I can’t help it, a huge smile spreads over my face.

“That’s funny to you?” she fumes.

“What’s changed? You’re back to your old self?”

She blushes beet red and shakes out her hair nervously. What the hell? “Rox?”

“I…I guess being around a bunch of hard-ass bikers brought out the hard-ass in me again.”

Her explanation makes sense, but I know she’s lying. I can read her too well. “It’s something else. What?”

“Nothing, Neil. God! Drop it, will you? Why did you really call me in here? You’ve been avoiding me for weeks now and you suddenly say we need to talk?”

“Rox, I been avoiding you for your own good. When we’re ‘round each other, shit gets—”

She holds up her hand. “Yeah, I know.”

I blow out a breath, not getting why she’s shutting me down here, but knowing I do got something to talk to her ‘bout. “The club’s had a bunch of leads on Kent’s location, but none of ‘em have panned out. Even this last one I had Runner check out a couple of weeks back turned out to be nothing again. And we ain’t managed to get no more since then.”

She nods, getting it. “Are you sure you want to do this, Neil? The last time my
association
with Malcolm came up, you didn’t react well.”

“This is business. I got it locked down.”

She sits forward in her chair. “I can give you several suggestions on where he might be holed up.”

I reach for my desk drawer to pull out a paper and pen.

And then her words stop me, “
But
I want you to bring me in on it.”

My eyes narrow. “No fucking way.”

“I won’t let you do this, Neil.”

“Do what?”

“Murder Malcolm
and
all the others.”

Fuck. Who the hell told her? “Is what it is, Rox. Now, give me the intel. Yeah, babe?”

She shoots outta her chair and yells, “There’s another way! Murder is
not
it!”

I’m outta my chair, too, at her words and rounding my desk. “Another way?” I thunder, pissed that she’s acting like I got a choice here, like I
wanna
do this shit, or something. “You think I wanted this? I wanted outta the club. You know that. I wanted to leave all this bullshit behind. I wanted
you
. You and our kid. But that weren’t in the cards, was it? Kid died and you got hurt real bad. Just cuz you were with
me
.” I tug at my hair. “This is killing me, Rox! Having you here in my club. So close, but knowing you ain’t mine. And I fucking want you to be mine! Taking you in that alley was a big mistake, cuz now it’s all I can fucking think ‘bout! You’re driving me crazy! But I gotta keep you ‘round me. Gotta keep you here protected! ‘Til we can be together safely. So, yeah, this is what I’m fucking doing! You better believe it is!”