Soul Protector (30 page)

I looked up at him gratefully.
“Thanks, Tom.”

I couldn’t help wishing he was
his brother. Dan was using Tom to fulfil his promise to Dad. It was
obvious nothing had changed between us.

~~~

CHAPTER 23

.

Making Things Right

.

I woke up with that horrible
uneasy feeling you get when you know something’s wrong but you
can’t quite put your finger on it. I sifted through my mind to try
and pin it down. Then, as details of the day before crashed down on
me, I slumped back on the pillows.

Years ago, when Mum told me Dad
had died, all I felt was relief. I’d thought he was evil and
decided the world was a better place without him. But now, although
I still hated what he’d done to us, I ached for the sober version
of him back.

I tried to imagine how
different our lives would have been if he’d never been inflicted
with the stupid ‘gift.’ It ruined his life, and it was making a
mess of mine.

I swung my legs off the bed and
instinctively reached for my mobile, before remembering it lay
smashed to pieces on the road. I wandered through to the living
room and saw the red flight flickering on the answer phone. Two
flashes meant two messages. I wasn’t in the mood for talking to
anyone but I knew one would be from Mum, worried about Terry.

I pressed the play button and
confirmed my suspicions. Mum had left a message asking me to ring
her. I cringed at the anxiety in her voice. The other message was
from Kerry, she was asking why I wasn’t replying to my texts.

I hit the delete button and
chewed my lip. I couldn’t ignore Mum, but I had to brace myself
before I called her. I had a quick shower and grabbed myself a
coffee, trying to summon the strength I needed.

I sat on the sofa staring at
the phone before punching her number in. I prepared myself to start
lying and felt sick at the thought.

“Hello,” she answered.

“Hi, Mum, it’s me, just
returning your call. You okay?”

“Oh, hello darling, thanks for
ringing back. You’re not going to believe what’s happened.”

I swallowed hard, “What’s up,
Mum?”

“It’s Terry. He didn’t come
round last night. It’s not like him so I started to get worried. I
kept ringing him but his mobile was turned off.

“Oh.”

“Anyway, he finally turned up
really late last night. And he wasn’t alone, there was a younger
man with him, an official I think.”

I knew it would have been one
of the monitors.

“Terry seemed really odd –
spaced out or something. With the younger man’s encouragement, he
started to explain something to me and, Gracie, what he told me
seems really crazy, but I do believe him…”

She paused for a minute,
probably checking that statement was true.

My hand started to shake.
Surely they hadn’t told her about switching bodies.

“To cut a long story short,
Terry isn’t who he said he was.”

I held my breath, but Mum
obviously expected some sort of reaction.

“Are you still there,
Gracie?”

“Yes Mum, go on.” I realised
I’d been digging my fingernails into my palm and left angry
marks.

“He used to be a doctor, but
he’s been suffering with amnesia for years. Apparently he was
alcoholic and had a drug habit and went right off the rails. I
don’t remember all the details, it all got a bit far-fetched, but
he ended up going to prison. Anyway, unknown to him, he had a wife
and family,” her voice took on a give-away wobble.

“They tried visiting him in
prison, but he refused to see them. He just couldn’t accept it was
true. When he came out, he didn’t really know who he was. The
prison service resettled him but he didn’t stay in the housing he’d
been given; he moved area and ended up living in a squat. He’s been
lying to us about his job and everything. It’s all been a front to
work his way under my roof. He just needed a place to stay and
someone to feed him.”

“Mum, I’m sure it was more than
that.”

“Oh, there’s more. Some of his
memory came back yesterday. He finally remembered he had a family
and he’s even been round to see his wife. She’s ecstatic and taken
him back. Obviously its early days, so they’re taking it step by
step.” She gave a nervous laugh. “So I’m surplus to requirements.
God, I can’t really get my head round it all.”

“Oh Mum, I’m so sorry. You must
be feeling awful.”

“The funny thing is, Gracie,
after hearing about everything, I realised I’d been in love with a
man who doesn’t really exist. I mean, obviously I’m
upset
,
but the guy I met last night wasn’t the man I’d fallen in love
with.”

Poor Mum, she didn’t know how
near the mark she was.

“Listen, I’m coming straight
round,” I said, standing up.

“No, no, don’t be silly
darling. I’m fine honest. Obviously I’m going to miss him, but I
really am okay.”

I closed my eyes and took a
deep breath.

“You know what?” she carried
on. “I wonder if it was seeing Emily that sparked something off in
Terry’s memory. After he saw her he got really agitated. He
couldn’t settle, made his excuses and disappeared. Maybe his
daughter looks like her or something?”

Or maybe it was the aura she
was sporting.

“Maybe… Look Mum, I’ve got to
go, but if you want company later just call and I’ll pop
round.”

“I’m sure I’ll be fine love.
You take care and I’ll see you soon.”

I hung up. That went a lot
better than I’d anticipated. I knew she was putting on a brave face
to protect me, but she seemed to have accepted what she’d been
told.

She was such a good role model,
I decided to follow her lead. I would protect her from my misery
too. I could hardly tell her what had happened anyway.

~~~

CHAPTER 24

.

Time Heals

.

It took me a long time to feel
anywhere near normal again. After forcing myself to get out of bed
each morning and attend PSP training, one morning I woke up and
realised the black fog I’d been fighting had lifted. I wouldn’t say
I was in love with life again. I just felt normal. And right then,
normal was a huge improvement.

~

It was a short while after my
life got back to normal that
it
happened. The day had
started off remarkably uneventful. Because it was the weekend, I’d
had a nice lie-in, before showering. As usual I stayed in the
shower way too long. It felt good to tilt my face up to the shower
head, close my eyes and let the warm water pour off me. Afterwards,
I squinted into the steamed-up mirror and pulled a comb through my
wet hair, making sure it fell forward over my ears.

I wandered through to my
bedroom and tugged on my favourite black sweat pants and hoodie. I
had nothing special planned, so I’d decided to start following my
healthy resolution, get organised, and cook a meal for later. I put
MTV on and walked through to the kitchen.

I sang to myself as I set about
rustling up spaghetti Bolognese. I had my cookbook open on the side
as I tracked down ‘near enoughs’ from the list of ingredients. I
felt sure tomato ketchup would be up to the role of tomato puree,
and I didn’t have actual spaghetti but thanks to my newly stocked
cupboards, I was going to compromise with pasta shells.

The intercom buzzed, and I
wiped my hands on my apron as I walked over to the buzzer.
“Hel-lo,” I sang into it.

“Hi, Gracie.”

My heart stopped.
Breathe,
Gracie.

“It’s me, Dan. Can I come
up?”

I had to swallow hard before I
could speak again. “Erm, yes… come on up.”

I walked over to the door in a
daze and leant against the frame. I had to concentrate on taking
one breath after another, something I’d done all my life without
thinking but right then it required extra effort.

I jumped when he rapped on the
door. Filling my lungs, I counted to three and slowly exhaled
before turning the handle.

Even though I knew what to
expect, I felt myself flush when I saw him. He was wearing a dark
shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, and jeans. He had his ever-present
back-pack with him, but I noticed his usual smile was missing.

“
Hello you
, what brings
you here?” I said, while my insides performed somersaults.

His expression remained
serious. “Gracie, we need to talk. Can I come in?”

“Yes, of course,” I said,
backing into the living room.

He turned to close the door and
I couldn’t tear my eyes from his back. I inhaled to capture the
familiar scent of his aftershave. I ached to touch him, and had to
force myself to turn and head towards to the sofa.

I grabbed the apron and pulled
it over my head and smoothed my hair forward.

“Have a seat,” I gestured.
Naturally, I perched myself on the arm at the other end.

Dan slunk down and turned to
look at me. “How’s the PSP training going?” He raised his eyebrows
and attempted a smile, but it was missing the usual warmth.

“Yeah, well I guess you were
right about that all along. I should be official by next week.”

“You’ll be great. I’m glad you
finally agreed to give it a go.”

“Thanks,” I said, feeling
myself blush again.

He opened his mouth to say
something else, but hesitated. I guessed what the subject might be.
“Dan, have you come to tell me about my dad?”

He nodded, and as he spoke his
voice was soft.

“I’m not sure how much I should
tell you. Do you want to know about his final moments?”

I shook my head. “No, I
couldn’t bear it.” I only coped with what happened to Dad by
blocking out thoughts of the horrific Switch Enforcement
Chamber.

“Okay,” he said, looking
apologetic, “but I want you to know it was peaceful. Nothing like
you saw the first night you came to the Office.”

I shuddered, as images of the
enforced switch popped into my mind.

“Anyway, he wanted me to pass
on a message to you.”

“Oh, right.” I sounded braver
than I felt. My chin started a little tremble and I squeezed my
lips together to try and make it stop.

Dan picked up a cushion and
moved it out the way, shifting his position so he was facing me
direct. “Gracie, he wanted you to know he was incredibly proud of
you...”

I lowered my head and started
picking at a bit of skin next to my thumbnail.

“… and you made him really
happy. As you know, most of his life was a mess, but those last few
months he spent with you, your mum and Michelle made up for all the
rest.”

I frowned and carried on
picking at the skin, making it bleed.

“He knew your mum and Michelle
would never be able to forgive him, but because you know
everything, he hoped one day you might be able to.”

Unable to make eye contact, I
gave a small nod.

“I would have told you all this
before but he asked me to leave it awhile, so your feelings weren’t
so raw.”

Dan leant across and put his
hand gently over mine to prevent me hurting myself any further.
“Your family must have gone through hell while he was drinking. I
had no idea. I hope knowing him sober has helped.”

I looked up, and gave him a
wobbly smile. “It has.”

He pulled his hand back and
rubbed it across his smooth chin.

“Did you hear about Terry?”

I shook my head. “No. I tried
to find out when I was at the Office but they wouldn’t tell me
anything. Apparently it’s all on a need-to-know basis.”

“Well you need to know, right?
He’s had a happy ending. He’s moved back in with his wife and they
seem really happy to be back together.”

“Oh, that’s great. What about
his job though?”

“Yeah, well, he’ll never be
able to work in a hospital again, but we’ve got plenty of contacts
helping him get his life back together. He’ll be okay.”

I nodded and my thoughts turned
to the other CSP I’d met that night.

“I wish you could say the same
for the guy who attacked me.”

Dan’s eyes opened wider.

“Well, not him, but the real
owner of that body,” I added.

“No one told you? He didn’t
die, Gracie. He was in a bad way - lost a lot of blood, but they
managed to save him.”

My heart squeezed. “Oh, thank
God.” I closed my eyes and let relief wash over me.

Dan carried on. “We got six
CSPs in total. They’re all going through the same treatment as
Terry. I’m surprised the Office wouldn’t tell you anything. It was
you who led us to them in the first place.”

Dan stopped talking, and the
silence made me open my eyes. He was watching me and his gaze was
so intense it made me feel uncomfortable.

I cleared my throat. “Erm,
thanks for coming to tell me. I really appreciate it.”

He ran his fingers through his
dark hair. “That’s not all. There’s something else I need to
say.”

He hesitated, and I noticed
something I’d never seen happen to Dan before. Vulnerability
descended on him.

He took a deep breath. “I’ve
missed you, Gracie.”

I paused for a moment, not
trusting I’d heard him correctly. “You’ve missed me?”

He nodded, and his jaw muscle
twitched as he waited for my response.

My heart started to thud and I
half-expected it to jump out my chest. I stood up, shaking my
head.

“I can’t do this, Dan.”

He stood up as well, towering
above me.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“
You are
. You can’t just
turn up after all this time and tell me you’ve missed me. I’ve been
to hell and back, and you weren’t there for me.”

He flinched. “I know. I’m
sorry. I was wrong to stay away.”

I took some deep breaths to
calm myself.

“It’s okay. Really, I’m fine
now. But I need to make sure I stay that way. You coming in and out
of my life won’t help.”