Soul Mates (30 page)

“Do you feel that way now?”

Jace had to think a minute.
No…I don’t.

“Back then, thoughts of revenge felt good. The idea of getting back at someone who was in your mind unfair or immoral was a welcome change from the powerlessness you felt most of the time. However, those thoughts don’t serve you now because you’re not there. You’re not in that powerless place anymore.”

Yeah, you’re right,
Jace acknowledged.
I’ve changed; it makes sense those old thoughts would feel different now. And you know,
he smiled, filled with new appreciation for his friend,
it feels good not to push against all that stuff. It feels good to let it go and trust that I’m heading in the right direction, that my thoughts and feelings are guiding me there.
Jace pondered his statement for a moment.
My thoughts and feelings…my mind. That’s really where all the power is, isn’t it?

“Yes!”

Jace could hear Sophie’s enthusiasm. With it came a tingling sensation that spread through his entire body.
Cool!
Jace responded.
Did you do that?

“That’s what alignment feels like.”

I’m not sure what that means, but I like it.

“We’re spiritual beings, Jace. The only difference between us is that you’re focused in the physical and I’m not. What we just felt was an aligning of our vibrations.

“In the physical,” she continued, “we often get tripped up when we experience contrast. We lose our balance for a while, and it can take months or years to find it again. But it doesn’t have to. We can feel our way back into alignment.”

That’s the power of focus,
Jace asserted, enjoying the sensations coursing through his body. It was exhilarating, and he wanted to ride it as long as possible.
Focus helps us find that alignment.

“Exactly. Focus guides your thought, and thought evokes emotion.”

He felt a down-pouring of insight. He wasn’t sure whether it came from Sophie or whether he’d realized it himself or whether it even mattered, because there didn’t seem to be any separation at the moment.
So emotion is an indicator of this vibration you’re talking about.
Jace could feel the power of his words.
People make such a big deal of emotions, but they’re really just an indicator, a road map. I like that!
Jace had never experienced anything like it. To have questions and receive insight almost simultaneously was a real rush.
So how do my desires play into this?

“Desire is simply preference. As we focus, we learn to separate what we want from what we don’t want. As creative beings we seek to create, or attract, the object of our desire. It doesn’t matter whether it’s money or a relationship or seeing lives transformed by the power of belief—you can choose anything you want. Once you know the object of your desire, the fun is in moving toward it, aligning your vibration with the vibration of the thing wanted. Your feelings will tell you if you’re headed in the right direction.”

Lights were going off in Jace’s head. He felt like a pinball machine he’d played once in a retro bar in the city. Flashing lights, bells sounding, his heart pounding. As he reached his apartment, he sat down on the front step. He could tell by the position of the sun that he’d been walking awhile, yet he had no memory of getting from Chad’s place to his. He let the intoxicating emotions wash over him like a soothing shower. His thoughts quieted, and for a moment all he could feel was a delicious fusion of love, exhilaration, and appreciation.

This alignment…
he asked softly, feeling Sophie’s presence so profusely that he could barely distinguish it from his own.
Is that why I can feel you here and talk to you like this?

“Yes. The conversations we’re having aren’t that much different from the ones we had when I was physical, so it was natural to continue them. But you couldn’t have heard me if you weren’t in a vibration that was close to that of who I’ve become.”

Is that why others can’t hear you?

“It is.”

Can Cassandra?
Jace had to ask.

“She’s beginning to receive thoughts or impulses that feel good when she follows them. She doesn’t know it’s me, though.”

Jace’s heart warmed as he thought of Cassandra again. He wasn’t angry with her now. He knew more than ever that he loved her, that he’d always love her. He didn’t know when or how that could be, but it didn’t matter. His mind went instead to her beautiful smile, her soft, silky voice, the heartwarming words she’d spoken at Sophie’s funeral. He recalled the look in her eyes as she apologized for having doubted him.

Suddenly he longed to be with her. He wanted to go to her, accept her apology, and hold her in his arms. The inspiration was powerful, lifting him off the step and propelling him toward his apartment with one thought in mind.
I have to call and let her know how I feel.
His hand was on the heavy outer door when he heard a voice.

“Jace?”

He turned to see her standing on the sidewalk in front of his building. “Cassandra…” He hesitated, wanting to go to her, but needing to know the reason for her visit. In her eyes he saw love blended with regret and humility.

“Jace.” The tears welled up as she began to speak. “I’m sorry. I’ve been so stupid. I know that doesn’t change anything…”

He quickly removed the distance between them and wrapped her in his embrace. “I love you, Cassandra.”

She held him tightly for a moment and then looked into his eyes, half laughing and half crying. “I really don’t know why.” She shook her head. “I’ve given you so many reasons to hate me.”

“Maybe,” he conceded, “but I have more reasons to love you.”

CHAPTER 20

CASSANDRA COULDN’T stop the river of tears as the words she’d been dreaming of flowed from the lips of the only man she could imagine spending her life with. “I thought…when you walked away…,” she faltered. “I thought you’d never speak to me again. What made you change your mind?”

“Sophie,” he said simply.

She looked at him curiously. “I don’t understand.”

“Do you want to go inside?”

“Yeah,” she sniffed. “I’d like that.”

He took her hand and, as they neared the top of the stairs, opened the door for her. It was where they’d first met. She nearly laughed as she thought of how badly she’d misjudged him. Squeezing his hand, she turned to him. “I love you, too, Jace.” He kissed her in the very spot that weeks earlier he’d nearly bowled her over. She’d been in the wrong place then, but how glad she was to have been there, to have met the man who was capable of making her dreams come true.

They went up to his apartment, Jace still holding her hand. He had a look on his face that Cassandra could only describe as radiant. She still didn’t understand what had caused the sudden change in him or how Sophia had been involved, but she was eager to find out. The building, the stairway, even Jace’s presence seemed to make her aunt’s memory come alive, and she welcomed the pleasant thoughts. With their time together cut short, she’d been feeling regret. Now she relished the idea of getting to know her aunt through the people whose lives Sophia had touched. And Jace was one of those people. Cassandra smiled, knowing that her aunt had played a part in their coming together; she’d helped make it happen.
Maybe that’s what Jace was referring to. Maybe Aunt Sophia let Jace know she was in favor of us being together.

She sat in Jace’s living room while he got them a drink. As she surveyed the meager surroundings, she couldn’t imagine anywhere she’d rather be. Jace caught her looking around as he returned. Their eyes held for a brief second, and she longed to read his thoughts. Their apartments were so different, as were their lives, but she truly didn’t care. She hoped Jace felt the same.

“It’s a work in progress,” he shrugged.

What is it?
Cassandra wondered.
Why does he seem so changed?
She’d rightly discerned that he was strong in character and determined, but now he possessed a confidence, an inner light she hadn’t noticed before. He sat next to her and stretched his arm behind her on the sofa. She leaned into his shoulder, savoring the intimacy. After a moment she murmured, “So what happened? You seem so…different. In a good way, I mean. But what does it have to do with Aunt Sophia?”

He was quiet for several long seconds, so she turned to look at him.

“She was pretty cool,” he began. “We used to talk about stuff.”

“Did you talk about her beliefs?” Cassandra asked, knowing somehow they had.

“Oh yeah,” he grinned. “We talked about all that. But there’s more. This is…going to sound crazy.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve never lied to you, Cassandra. I’ve never deceived you in any way, and I never would.”

“I know that, Jace,” she frowned, wondering why he’d say such a thing. “I believe in you. I had to learn it the hard way,” she added soberly. “But I do believe in you.”

“Okay, good,” he laughed uneasily. “Keep that in mind. Because what I’m about to tell you is pretty far out there.”

“Jace,” she stressed, laying her hand on his arm, “you can tell me. Whatever it is, I promise I’ll believe you.”

“Sophie is…She’s not really…gone.”

What?
Her lips formed the word, but remembering her promise, she decided to let him explain.

“I know she died, but her spirit, her soul, whatever you call it—that part of her didn’t go anywhere. She’s still here.”

“I…” Cassandra didn’t know what to say. She’d been too focused on her loss, her dear aunt’s absence, to think about where her spirit might be.

“We talk,” Jace said frankly.

“Jace, wait a minute. I want to believe you; I really do. But let me get this straight. Are you telling me you’ve had conversations with her…since she passed away?”

“I know it sounds crazy, Cassandra, but it’s true.” He grasped her hands and looked her in the eye. “At first I thought the conversations in my head were a way of staying connected, a way of remembering what she told me because it felt good. But then they became two-way conversations.” He shook his head. “I thought I was losing my mind.”

The conviction in his eyes was obvious; he believed what he was saying. She couldn’t say the same, and she hoped her face didn’t convey what she was thinking. With his words verging on insanity, she scrambled to find an appropriate response.

“I can prove it,” he insisted when she remained silent. “Ask me something, anything. Something about your family, your childhood.”

Her discomfort increased. “Jace…I don’t know…”

“Do this,” he implored. “You won’t be sorry. Just trust me.” He smiled and brought her hand to his lips.

His earnest request left her no choice. If she were to have a relationship with Jace, she had to trust him. It was as simple as that. The conversation was without a doubt the strangest she’d ever had, yet she found herself compelled. Though what he was claiming sounded crazy, she wanted him to be right. “Okay,” she pondered. “What’s my middle name?”

He closed his eyes for a moment and then grinned. “You don’t have one. But that’s not hard enough. I could have found that out some other way. Ask me something more difficult.”