Soul Mates (18 page)

“Oh, Trevor.” Cassandra could feel his pain. She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hey,” he smiled, caressing her hair lovingly. “It’s okay. I’m happy. I’ve been in a great relationship for almost a year now. And I’ve been learning some amazing stuff that’s helped me to see life differently.”

“Really?” She looked at him. “What kind of stuff?”

“I was searching for meaning in life,” he began. “I went through a few rough years. Even thought about packing it in, if you know what I mean.”

Cassandra gasped. Her eyes filled with tears.

Before she could speak, he put his finger on her lips. “Shhh,” he soothed. “That’s in the past. I don’t dwell there. I’d rather focus on what is working and how wonderful my life is now.”

She smiled through her tears. “I’d like to hear about that.”

WHEN HIS MOM left, Jace remained glued to his chair as he struggled to absorb what he’d learned about Cassandra.
She’s a Van Broden. There’s no way I could ever go out with her.
He hadn’t decided to, but an hour earlier he’d been entertaining the idea.
It would never work. Besides, I’m probably just the flavor of the month.

What’s wrong with that?
he argued, vividly recalling their escapade on the beach earlier.
What’s wrong with taking what she has to offer? So what if there’s no future in it.
Something about the reasoning left him feeling empty. He wanted more than that, but he knew he couldn’t have it with Cassandra.

Sophie had advised him to pay attention to how his thoughts made him feel. It wasn’t hard to do. The revelation had left him discouraged. He was disillusioned and confused.

What’s to be confused about?
he challenged
.
I know what I have to do. I have to stop thinking about her. And seeing her…that’s out of the question.
He lacked the will power to resist her enchanting ways.

Continuing to apply Sophie’s advice, Jace reached for some general thoughts to diffuse the hotbed of emotion
.
I know this seems messed, but I don’t have to figure it out right now.
He was surprised at the tangible relief the simple statement brought him. Repeating it several times, he honed in on the relief each time, liking the control that deliberate thinking afforded him. In his improved emotional state, he revisited the plan he’d formulated earlier—the plan to change his thinking, to create a framework that would allow him to realize his financial dreams. As he deliberately focused on what he and Sophie had talked about, his clarity returned and with it a sense of hope. That, he realized, felt good, so he poured himself into it with determination.

CASSANDRA LISTENED as Trevor told her about his new relationship and the career he was pursuing. He made reference again to what he’d been learning.

“Tell me more about that,” she encouraged. “I’d like to know what you believe.”

“Do you feel like walking?”

It was late afternoon, and a refreshing breeze blew off the Atlantic. The two of them headed down to the beach. The tide was out, allowing them to walk on the ocean floor along the craggy cliffs bordering the properties above.

“I’ve been studying the Tao,” Trevor began.

“I’ve heard of that.” Cassandra was thrilled with the direction of the conversation. “What is it, exactly?”

“That gets tricky,” he laughed. “The Tao is fundamentally indefinable. But let me try. It’s a metaphysical concept. It’s everything that is, yet it existed before anything else. In it, nothing exists except by comparison. For example, there’s no such thing as
high
unless it’s being compared to
low
; no
small
unless compared to
large
.

“Tao is often referred to as ‘the way.’ It’s an unseen force, and yet it’s characterized by its lack of force. It says, ‘The softest thing in the world overcomes the hardest.’

“Basically, that means slight, simple, continuous movements accomplish the greatest results. By letting go and trusting that movement, we can see miracles happen in our lives.”

“That’s beautiful,” Cassandra exclaimed. “Tell me more.”

“The teaching stresses non-action—living in harmony with the Universe and letting circumstances develop naturally. It teaches how to overcome by yielding, to be full by emptying ourselves, and to gain by wanting little. It says that all we need will come to us when we find harmony and balance with All That Is.”

“Wow.” Cassandra was amazed at how the teaching compared to what Sophia had been telling her. “I can’t believe you know all this. I’ve been learning stuff, too, and it sounds similar.” She highlighted the first two principles that Sophia had given her. “And this past week she talked about a Source of wellbeing. She compared it to a stream that’s always flowing to us. It’s good and positive and loving, and it contains all that we could ever want. We have the choice to let it in or to resist it. She said that most people, by their very thoughts, are resisting the good that they desire.

“I had doubts at first,” Cassandra admitted, “about the things she was telling me. So I did some research on my own. I found endless references to it on the internet. It’s called the Law of Attraction. People are really into this kind of teaching.”

“People used to say Sophia Langdon was crazy.” Trevor smiled and shook his head. “Turns out she’s a wise old owl after all. I wouldn’t mind seeing her while I’m here.”

“I’m sure she’d like that,” Cassandra replied. “I’m going back next weekend. Why don’t you come with me? We could visit her together.”

“Maybe,” he laughed. “If I can last a week here.”

Cassandra tucked her arm in Trevor’s to show support. “I’m here for you, Trev.”

“Thanks, doodlebug, I appreciate that.”

They continued walking and sharing what they’d been learning. Cassandra was fascinated by her brother’s spiritual understanding. Trevor had heard of the term
Law of Attraction
and wanted to hear more of what Cassandra had to say.

“Does your boyfriend believe this stuff, too?” he asked as they turned to walk back.

“He’s not exactly my boyfriend.” She had to laugh at the confused look Trevor gave her. “We’re not dating—at least not yet. It’s complicated.”

Cassandra spent the next few minutes telling her brother how she and Jace had met. She included the fact that he was Sophia’s neighbor and that his mom worked for their parents.

“And you really like this guy?” Trevor probed. Cassandra didn’t hear judgement in his voice, simply brotherly concern.

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I do.”

“I’m assuming he feels the same.”

Cassandra couldn’t answer. She had no idea how Jace felt about her. Her brother’s words caused her to question what existed between them, and doubt began to creep in. She longed to talk to Jace, to discuss the status of their relationship, among other things. There was so much they didn’t know about each other. She truly hoped they could spend time together on the weekend.

“ELISE!” The thought was like a blow to the side of the head. Jace had a date with her in an hour, and he’d forgotten all about it. Suddenly he wasn’t sure he wanted to go. Being with Cassandra earlier and then dealing with the realization that he could never see her again had left him in a strange place. It was like breaking up with someone and wanting downtime before seeing someone new.

But that’s not the case here
,
he argued.
I haven’t actually broken up with Cassandra, because we’re not dating. And I’m already going out with Elise. God!
He groaned at how screwed up the situation had become.
I’ve had sex with them both today!

He wasn’t proud of his actions. He certainly hadn’t planned it that way. He wasn’t even sure how it had happened with Cassandra. One minute they were walking on the beach—he remembered feeling angry and wanting answers—and the next, they were making out.

Jace longed to understand why she had such a spell over him.
What is it about the woman that makes me lose all common sense?
Away from her, he could think rationally and knew what he needed to do. He could feel the resolve, yet it left him with a decision. Whether he ever saw Cassandra again or not, he needed to decide whether he wanted to continue seeing Elise.

He weighed the pros and cons.
She’s pretty and fun to be with. We have things in common. She’s mature and knows what she wants in life. We’re in pretty much the same social class.
He had no trouble listing her positive assets, yet the negative left him stumped. He couldn’t think of anything specific. Nevertheless, something was amiss.

He sat for a moment before it dawned on him.
The only thing wrong with her,
Jace sighed,
is that she’s not Cassandra.

CASSANDRA SILENTLY observed her family’s interactions as the week unfolded. Her mother was distant and uncommunicative, and Trevor was clearly ill at ease. Her father was quieter than usual, as well, and she could see signs of stress showing on his face. She found him alone in the den one afternoon and went to sit next to him.

“It’s been an interesting week, hasn’t it?” he remarked ruefully.

She was considering how to respond when he added, “I’m glad that you and Trevor are close.”

“Me, too,” she replied. “It’s so good to see him again.”

“Your mother is having a hard time.”

“Mmm,” Cassandra nodded. “The tension around here is pretty thick.” She laid her hand on his arm. “Daddy, what about you? How are you doing with all this?”

“I’m caught in the middle, kitten.”

“How do you feel, though?” she persisted.

“You’re starting to sound like your old aunt,” he laughed softly.

“Maybe that’s a good thing.”

“It
is
a good thing,” he granted. “Don’t get me wrong; we could all learn from her. It’s just…I’m feeling like an old dog these days. I don’t know if I can change my ways of thinking that easily. I want to, but…”

Cassandra wasn’t sure whether he was referring to his views on homosexuality or his willingness to embrace Sophia’s unconventional beliefs. Though she wanted to discuss Trevor’s situation, she had to allow that it might be the latter. “Daddy, you’re not old,” she comforted. “Besides, much of what Aunt Sophia believes is just common sense.”

“It’s not that, kitten,” he replied. “It’s changing my views about life and the ways of society—what’s deemed acceptable and what isn’t. When you’ve been taught to think a certain way for nearly sixty years, it’s not easy to change direction. And even if I could…” he shrugged helplessly. “Your mother…she’s not likely to change her thinking.”

“So what then?” Cassandra started to get frustrated. “If no one is willing to change their thinking, where does that leave Trevor?” She couldn’t say it aloud, but her thoughts naturally led to her own situation.
Where would that leave me, if I chose to marry someone like Jace?

Her father sighed heavily, and Cassandra noticed for the first time that he looked older than his years. His eyes were troubled, reflecting the pain caused by issues he wrestled with. She regretted her outburst. “Daddy, I’m sorry. I can see how hard this is on you.”