Soul Awakened (24 page)

Bakari kept walking. There had been a time when he would have defended himself, but right now all he wanted to do was lay down. He got a heavy shove followed by more jeering calls. Bomani led him to a lone cot in the corner. The warrior in the bed next to him could not have been more than a day old. The warrior’s eyes were blood shot and dark circles announced his overwhelming fatigue. The male straightened taller under the Commander’s scrutiny.

“What is your name fledgling?” Bomani asked.

“Sin.”

“Ari is going to take up residence next to you. Be sure to fill him in on the rules.”

Bakari shot his brother a look. He must really hate him to use the name of the warrior he killed. Bomani’s flat golden eyes stared back at him. “Welcome to camp.” Bomani turned and left without a second glance.

The silence that followed his arrival ceased and the low din of conversation reclaimed the great hall. Bakari did not bother to look around or acknowledge his bunk mate. He sat on the dilapidated mattress, a fright better than sleeping on hard stone. It sagged under his weight. Focusing on the pitched ceiling, he lay on his back and slid his hands behind his head and under the pillow. 

Sin sat on the edge of his bunk and leaned forward. “I would not go to sleep.” He followed Sin’s gaze to the large warrior that shoved Bakari earlier. Despite his own enormous size his fellow fledgling’s anxiety was palpable. Sin scanned the crowd with his muscles clenched.

Bakari would have asked why, but honestly he did not care. He wanted to be left alone and retreat into his own darkness. Subsist. He had a growing feeling that was going to be less and less a possibility. Sin stood up and moved out from the wall. Bakari closed his eyes and sighed.

Reluctantly, he released the treasure he held in his hand and left it hidden under the pillow for safe keeping. He stood and turned to the wall of five dark warriors at the foot of his bed.

“So soon. I just got here.”

Kendra pushed open the doors to the palace library. She looked around at the stacks and stacks of books Bomani had carried from her room the day prior. The hours and hours of worry and lost sleep. Too many.

She should be happy she accomplished her goal, but she only felt hallow and empty. She sighed. Did she expect too much from Bakari?  Did she envision him as this great hero that would come to save the day?

Save her?

It could be the only explanation of why she felt so… disappointed.

She heard every word Bakari said to Asar. It was as if Bakari was talking about someone else. Those things he did to his own father. She shook her head, unable to even comprehend his betrayal. Worse yet, she couldn’t get the pictures of him with Kepi out of her mind. Somehow she felt dirty for even staying in bed with him and wanting him to touch her in intimate places. Places he had touched
her
.  

She pressed her fingers into the scorpion mark on her chest. To make her mood bleaker, her chest ached. Could a heart truly break? It sure felt like it. Sighing again, she got to work putting the books away. She first categorized them on the table, piling them in like stacks. Luckily, the books were cataloged similar to the Dewey Decimal system. Either way, it was enough busy work to keep her mind from wandering and wondering.

The books were of sufficient weight that she got winded carrying them through the long aisles of the library. The self-imposed workout burned off her anger, but there was a small amount that she wasn’t ready to let go. Because once she did, she knew the tears would flow. God help her. Why did what he said hurt so much?

Why didn’t he kill himself?

With a grunt, she hefted the heavy text up and slid it onto the shelf. Tonight wasn’t the first time he contemplated suicide since his awakening. It was her tip off when she touched the blade.

The concept of suicide was incomprehensible to her. Never at any point in her life did she consider death as the answer. But then again, she lived a sheltered life. Would she think the same way if Kepi successfully kidnapped her? Did things to her?

Once again the pangs of sympathy wrenched at her heart and the ache became heavier. She leaned her forehead against the spine of the book she had placed on the shelf. She never wanted to feel this way again. A single tear slipped down the side of her cheek—the only one she would allow. She wiped it away with the back of her hand and pushed away from the shelf. If Bakari chose to take his life and hers with him, then so be it.

In the meantime, she had a crime to solve and a traitor to uncover. They had a traitor amongst them. Someone had the power to circumvent Asar’s ability to restrict the Underworld. Kepi had always been one step ahead of Asar. The informant had to be close to the god.

She needed to look at her evidence again. More resolved then ever she turned to leave, and almost bumped into the form that stood at the end of the aisle.

“Nebt, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.” Or hear her for that matter. How long had she been standing there?

Nebt looked at her with her soft brown eyes framed by her matching hair. “I should have announced myself. Please accept my apology.”

Kendra forced a smile. “It’s okay, I was cleaning up.” She walked around the goddess and headed to the table to grab the last book. Nebt followed her with her eyes. “How are you fairing, Kendra?”

Kendra continued her search for the right slot. She hated to hear the pity in the goddess’ voice. “I’ll be better when this book is on its shelf.” She moved to the next row following the sequence of numbers.

Nebt pursued her down each aisle. Kendra swore the goddess floated wherever she went. She heard not one footfall against the stone. “Do you want to talk about what happened in the dungeon?”

“Not really.” Kendra stalked forward along the next aisle. Where was the blasted spot? She realized the numbers were too high. She must have blown by the location. Turning, she side stepped around Nebt and retraced her steps.

“It may help with your pain.”

Kendra stopped and looked up. A gap in the books on the upper most shelves attracted her eye. She looked around for the ladder that Bomani had given her when they first arrived in the library. Talking would get her nowhere. Doing eased her pain.

“I appreciate your concern, but I’m not the one in pain.” Kendra froze realizing what she said. Could it be Bakari’s pain she was feeling through their blood-bond? His, not hers.

Kendra turned to look Nebt in the face. “I’m not the person you should be worried about.” She wasn’t the one contemplating suicide.

“Bakari has refused my counsel.”

Nebt reached out to take Kendra’s hand. Kendra stepped back and shook her head. “Don’t touch me.” She didn’t need Nebt poking around in her head and heart. Kendra’s desires for Bakari were hers, no one else’s.

Nebt frowned and retracted her hand. “I only want to help.”

“Then ask,” Kendra bit back. Unable to face the goddess, she turned away. “Thank you for your concern, but I know what I need to do. I realize I can’t control Bakari’s decision or actions. If he doesn’t want help, that’s his loss.” More bitterness. Her memories shot back to the cell. The anger she saw in Bakari’s face.
Stupid girl
, he had called her. Her throat tightened and tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

“Having your life tied to someone who does not value their own must be very upsetting. It is natural to feel angry. He has taken your freedom to choose and has rendered you powerless against his own self-hatred.”

A defensive rush of anger sent a flush of warmth to Kendra’s cheeks. Words to defend Bakari’s actions danced on the tip of her tongue, but she pushed the misguided loyalty away like a sour glass of milk.

Nebt spoke the truth, didn’t she?

Kendra wasn’t convinced despite all the evidence to the contrary. She didn’t know which upset her more, that Bakari would disregard her life or that he choose
her
to vent his anger. Somehow the latter stung sharper and deeper.

Nebt stepped closer. “Your mother has asked you to bear a burden that is too extensive for one individual. Bakari has chosen his path. The sooner you come to terms with that the better you will feel. Even though it pains me to say this, I must. Bakari has brought shame to this family. You must stay away from him. Forget him. ”

Kendra stared at the goddess. Her words confused her on so many levels. What did her mother have to do with this? Even though her mother made her for the task of awakening Bakari, Kendra had made the choice to use her blood. No one forced her. A part of her agreed with Nebt, she should forget him, but she knew the scorpion mark on her chest would be a constant reminder. She would come to terms when the person responsible for Bakari’s kidnapping was caught. “What happened the day Bakari was kidnapped?”

“Sorry?”

“What happened the day Bakari was kidnapped?”

“I am sorry. I do not know.”

A chill brushed against Kendra’s exposed arms. Despite the unchanged expression on Nebt’s face, Kendra definitely hit a topic the goddess was unhappy about her bringing up. Kendra quickly changed the subject. “Thank you for your counsel. Maybe we can talk later?”

Nebt’s eyes narrowed. “Of course.”

Movement shifted over the goddess’ shoulder. Bomani cleared his throat. “Am I interrupting?”

Kendra smiled and brushed past Nebt and handed him the book. “Just the person I wanted to see. Can you put that back?” Kendra pointed up to the top shelf. Nebt’s gaze remained targeted on her.

Bomani nodded. He ascended the ladder and slid the book into its rightful place. All the while Kendra felt the burn of Nebt’s gaze on her back. The woman obviously wasn’t one to take no for an answer. Only after Bomani stepped off the ladder did Nebt shift her gaze to him.

“It is good to see you, Commander.”

Bomani bowed. “And you, goddess.” Nebt placed her hand on his bare forearm. 

Irritated, Kendra fixated on the contact point. The goddess smiled, apparently pleased with something she read from Bomani’s soul. Kendra frowned knowing any information would be withheld from her, but then again, it was probably best she didn’t know. Nothing good would come of it on her end. Her bleeding heart would only get used. Again.

Kendra watched Nebt exit the library. “Thanks,” she said without turning to look at Bomani. “And not just for the book.”

“Nebt can be very persistent when she wants to be.”

“I’m sure.” Warmth bled into her body when she looked into Bomani’s golden eyes. Always, a gentleman. Always, predictable. Always there for her if she needed it. She gathered strength from his presence.

She wasn’t sure how long they stood there staring at each other, but long enough for Bomani to start shifting on his feet. Kendra shook her head and walked into the main vestibule of the library. All the books had been replaced, so she went to work straightening up the chairs. After pushing in the last chair, Kendra glanced around the room looking for her next project.

Eyeing a shelf that had books toppled over, she moved to intercept. Bomani stepped in her way. “Hungry?”

“Not particularly.”

“Come. Those books are not going anywhere.” He gingerly grasped her hand and pulled her toward the door. After her confrontation with Nebt she had no energy to resist. Once through the door he leaned over and picked up a black satchel. “Express or do you want to walk?”

“I much prefer to walk, if it’s okay with you.”

He led them down the stairs to the beach. The night sky mirrored the reflection of the constellations on the human world. The time of day was in opposition here. The warm breeze hit her skin and she took a deep breath of salt air from the serpentine river that cut through the Underworld. Kendra knew from her teachings the waters of the Underworld were fed from the Nile River, the same river that ferried the souls to the gates of the afterlife.