Sordid (14 page)

His gaze followed his fingertips. They skimmed at the line of buttonholes on the shirt, down between the valley of my breasts, and over my quivering belly.

“Yeah, well . . .” His fingers stopped at the top of my panties. “I have something I want to use first, but it’s taking longer to charge than I expected.”

The way his voice was tinged with excitement made my heart thud and my pulse race.

“What are you talking about?” Again, I tried to scoot away from his fingers, but they continued to skim over me. They drew a line down my thigh, tracing patterns.

“I had my assistant pick something up for me this morning while you were sleeping. It’s been charging for the last five hours.” His hand froze. “Should I get it?”

I was fairly certain the answer was no, but he didn’t wait for a response. Luka got up, exited the room, and shut the door behind him. In the quiet, my nerves swelled like an ocean during a storm. I imagined the worst possible scenarios. I fully expected him to return with a torture device. And . . . he had an assistant?

The door swung open abruptly, and he returned, carrying something small enough to fit in one hand. His expression was an enigma as he came closer. Was this interest? Desire? Lust? His eyes were magnetic.

He revealed it to me as he sat, and the bed shifted under his weight. It was black, U-shaped, and one side was larger than the other. I stared at it critically. The thing looked like it was made out of some kind of rubber, and I hadn’t the faintest clue what it was.

I gasped when he set it down on the bed and put his hand right on top of my underwear without warning. I jolted against the straps to no avail. I couldn’t stop him. My words wouldn’t dissuade him. His thick fingers probed and circled, rubbing me on my clit, even as I pressed my knees together and tried to get him to stop.

Luka’s voice was dark and sinful. “I want you to get off while we’re fucking, but I know that’s not going to happen just yet. So we can train for it.”

“Don’t,” I whispered, filled with unease. My hips moved to get away, but I worried all I was doing was making it easier for him, and then an even scarier thought took root. What if I was doing it on purpose? His touch felt weird. Almost, sort of . . . good.

I was sick. He’d raped me. How could I be responding to him, even a little? Shame stormed through me.

“You’re so fucking sexy, Addison,” he said. He dragged air in through parted lips as he watched me squirm. “So sexy, and all for me.”

His hand moved faster, grinding the cotton of my panties to my flesh, teasing. I struggled against my bindings, but even that added to my enjoyment of the experience in a twisted way. I couldn’t get free. And since I was his captive, the vilest part of myself whispered I might as well get something from it. Take pleasure from him the way he took it from me.

I clamped my teeth together, but it didn’t silence my breathless moan. It slipped out quietly, but Luka definitely heard it. It kicked him into a new gear, and his fingers dove beneath my panties to touch me where I was hot and aching.

“Oh,” I groaned. My eyes slammed shut and I turned my head away from him, trying to shut him out. It was the most bizarre thing ever. I’d spent countless nights envisioning him touching me like this when it was my own hand, and now that it was him actually doing it, I thought I should picture someone else.

I grew damp as my body rocked appallingly against his hand. The disgusting voice in my head wanted to beg him to put his fingers inside me, so I pressed my lips together to stay silent. I forced all thought from my mind, since any pleasure brought guilt, and I was feeling a lot of both of those.

“Open those perfect blue eyes and look at me,” he ordered.

I blinked open and stared up at him, wishing for him to stop and wordlessly pleading with him to continue. Heat moved in waves from his touch. The pads of his fingers fumbled over my slippery skin, but never dipped inside as I was beginning to crave them to.

“I want to watch you come.” Luka gripped the waistband of my panties and slowly worked it down until I was exposed.

I issued a nervous whine. Some of it was fear, and some of it was an emotion too scary to put a label to. He picked up the small, weird U-shaped object, stretched it open wide, and then eased the smaller end of it inside me.

I moaned with confusion. Pleasure and discomfort simultaneously, but then pleasure won out. The larger end fit tight up against my clit. Luka gave me half a smile, which I was beginning to recognize was his pleased look. My underwear was tugged back up in place, so I was effectively wearing the toy he’d halfway placed in my body.

It was surprising when he moved to the loveseat and sat down, digging his phone out of his back pocket. What was he doing? Hadn’t he said he wanted to make me come? The distance between us felt enormous and weird, which made no fucking sense. Shouldn’t I be relieved he was on the other side of the room, more interested in his phone than he was in—

“Oh!” I cried, arching up off the bed.

The toy inside me was vibrating. It started slow and the vibrations swelled, only to stop, then resume again. A relaxed rhythm of ebbing and flowing that brought my nerve endings to life. I stared at Luka, my mouth hanging slack.

“Are you,” I said between cycles of vibration, “controlling it?”

He teased a smile. “It’s an app on my phone.”

I turned my gaze up to the ceiling, bashful. It was almost as bad as being naked, him watching me while the vibrations made my cheeks flush warm with color. The powerful waves were strange and addicting.

It was tortuous pleasure as well. Just as it began to feel
really
good, the tempo would crest and cease, leaving me on a cliff. I’d slide slowly away from the edge, only for the next wave to pick me back up, carry me to the top, and repeat the pattern.

“You don’t own a vibrator?” he asked, like this was normal conversation. “I didn’t find one in your room.”

Oh my God.
“No,” I said quickly between the pulsing waves, “I don’t.”

“Why not?”

The pleasure radiating from between my legs was . . . distracting. My mind wanted to focus on it, rather than Luka’s question. “Because I’m a virgin?” I threw it at him with attitude, only to realize my mistake. “I was.”

I didn’t have to look at him, not that I could anyway, to sense the victorious look splashed on his face.

“You’re saying virgins don’t like orgasms?”

“No, I’m saying,” I swallowed a breath and stifled a moan, “I didn’t need battery-operated help.” And, really. When was I supposed to use a vibrator? Besides being so busy I barely got seven hours of sleep, Avery never went to class. It meant she was always in the room, playing on the internet or watching TV.

“So you took care of yourself the old fashioned way?” he teased.

I ignored him as much as I possibly could, so I didn’t see his finger move. The pattern on the vibrator changed to greater peaks and valleys, with more time between the swells. It was so good, and so horrible at the same time. My greedy body shifted subtly, wanting more whenever the vibrations went into a lull, diminishing to practically nothing.

“I want to hear you say,” Luka continued, “you thought about me while you were sliding your fingers inside your pussy.”

I gasped inward, and blinked rapidly, focusing on the spot on the ceiling. There was no way in a million years I’d admit it, even if it was true.

He was persistent. “You said last night you’d spent the past two years thinking about me.” His deep, seductive voice invaded my head. “Did you, while you were touching yourself?”

My face flamed as hot as the sun, and even my ears burned. My mouth was a desert. I couldn’t keep my composure like this while he had me bound to the bed with not just rope, but with his filthy questions and dark gaze.

“Eyes on me,” he said. “Look at
me
, Addison.”

It was scary and yet strangely erotic. Luka appeared to sit comfortably in the oversized chair, one elbow resting on the armrest, and his phone in his hand. Although his posture was relaxed, he still had presence. There was a gravity to him, and I could feel his control from clear across the room. Through the window, it was late afternoon and the sun was beginning to set, so it cast long shadows over his handsome face. He looked powerful and confident, but most of all, transfixed by me.

“No lies,” he reminded. “Did you think about me when you touched yourself?”

His determined expression, coupled with the steady pulse of pleasure, was too much to handle, and I cracked. “Yes,” I whispered.

His smile began in one corner and spread across his lips like gasoline on a fire. I stopped breathing. Luka was smiling. Not a half-smile, but a bright, wide one where I could see his perfect teeth, and light in his eyes. It changed his whole face, morphing him into a man I barely recognized. Utterly gorgeous.

“Shit,” he whispered appreciatively as his smile began to pass. “That’s so fucking hot, picturing you like that. Did you get off to me? Did you imagine those were my fingers inside you as you were doing it?”

“Yes,” I said on barely a breath. I hadn’t fully recovered from his dazzling smile, which was now completely gone.

“You know what my fantasies were? I’d bend you over professor Kwon’s desk and fuck you until you begged me to come on your perfect tits.”

There were no words. Luka’s statement unzipped my head and poured molten hot lava all over my brain, frying rational thought. It was vulgar and dirty, and yet the shocking image he painted turned me on. Because I was a good girl and would never think of saying such a thing, but Luka saw me like that. In his fantasies I wasn’t shy, awkward, or inexperienced.

He tapped the screen of his phone.

“Oh,” I moaned. Was he rewarding me, or increasing my torture? The pattern changed to a steady and deep vibrating pulse. I dug my heels into the bed and bowed upward. I needed . . . relief. He kept me dangling right at the edge and it was going to tear me apart.

“Looks like it’s feeling good now, isn’t it?” His tone was indecent. “Are you thinking about what that would have been like? If I’d fucked you after class and made you go back to your dorm with my cum sticky on your chest?”

I whimpered and closed my eyes. The heat and need he’d created in me was a powerful drug and obliterated my inhibitions. I would have done it, in what had become our mutual fantasy. If he’d ordered me to in his authoritative voice, I would have followed just about any directive he gave me.

I strangled back a moan.

“Yeah, I bet you’d like to come now, wouldn’t you?”

Without though, I struggled uselessly against the rope. If the toy lodged inside me had just a little more contact with my clit . . . A soft whine fell from my parted lips as I rasped in air. It wasn’t a denial. If anything, it sounded like confirmation, and Luka gave a wicked chuckle.

And then everything stopped.

My lungs emptied in a burst, my skin cooled, and my heart thudded.
No
! I’d been so close.

“Your schedule, and then you can come.”

Chapter

Ten

I stayed utterly silent
, not wanting to budge. This was where I’d foolishly chosen to make my stand. If I gave Luka this, I felt like I’d be giving in to him completely.

“No?” he asked, irritation edging his voice.

He stabbed a finger on his phone and the vibrations resumed. It took me hardly any time to pick up where I’d left off, and in two heartbeats I was panting and squirming, right at the edge—

The toy went still and the faint buzzing cut off, immediately followed by my groan.

His firm tone was almost scary. “Your schedule.”

I stared into his black eyes, unable to find words. Couldn’t he just give me this, after everything he’d done? I could get pleasure without it coming from him directly, and could absolve myself of most of the guilt. Not that I really wanted him to watch me at such an intimate moment, but since he’d led me to the edge so many times, I no longer cared. I was desperate for release. Each journey upward had wound me tighter and tighter.

“The vibrator has a battery that can last up to three hours,” he said. “And if you don’t give me your schedule before then, I’ll find other ways to tease you. You liked when I went down on you last night. We could do more of that.”