Sorceress of Faith (59 page)

She
reached with all her heart and mind and soul and recaptured Andrew, his whole
being, and held him close, matched his whimpers with her own, turned them into
hums of comfort.

Here
is the body before you
, Bossgond said.
The heart, the mind, the soul
cavity. Do! We will help
.

Marian
was afraid.
What if
—

You
cannot doubt yourself!
Bossgond snapped.
You must have faith that you
can do this.

Marian
strengthened her will, let Andrew flow from her keeping, guided him into the
body, holding him safe—for another stretch of seconds before her doubts
ambushed her again. She fought them with the love she felt for Andrew, with the
affection she felt from Bossgond, with the Powerful support she felt from
Jaquar, but the transfer slowed.

Inside
her head, Bossgond insinuated thoughts opposing the voice of her self-doubt.
Why
do you think that you must achieve perfection or you will fail?

Because
I have always failed and it must be because I am not perfect.
But with the
admission, her heart felt lighter and more of Andrew sparkled into the body.
Bossgond was distracting that part of her mind that doubted and letting her
magic and Power do what needed to be done!

What
have you failed at?
Bossgond asked mildly.

Having
my mother love me. Keeping Andrew safe
. The failures rose huge in her mind.

Bossgond
seemed to consider that.
Perfection cannot be achieved. You can only do your
best with the resources that you have. You did not fail with your mother. Your
mother was the one who could not give you what you needed. It was a lack in
her.

I
wanted too much.

Take
the love I feel for you as a father
, Bossgond said, and it poured into her.
Love from the man, his pride in her, in her accomplishments filled her. She saw
with awe that he thought she was beautiful, mind
and
body.

You
did not fail Andrew
.
Jaquar’s deep voice echoed in her mind.
He is here. He was not originally
Summoned, but he came. You gave him new life. How can you think you failed him?

Put
that way, she couldn’t. She let droplets of Andrew slide from her holding,
sparkle into the mind-space, throb into the heart-space—that great heart of
his—swirl into the soul-space. She released him with joy.

An
arm clasped her around the waist and Power inundated her from Alexa. All the
Marshalls linked with her. Marian went blind at the shock, the realization that
through her the Power of all the Marshalls, all the Circlets, merged and
cycled. Powerful people all, they provided Marian with all the magic she could
need. Through her, they learned of one another,
accepted
each other.
Distrust diminished with the intimate connection; trust and faith grew.

Take
my love as a sister-friend
, Alexa said, and that love filled Marian, banishing
darkness and uncertainty. Alexa saw her as beautiful, too—as a strong woman of
fascinating Power, full of love for Andrew, full of curiosity about life. In
Alexa’s image, Marian was laughing.

Marian
smiled, relaxed.

Take
my love as a mate
,
Jaquar said. The breath-stealing hugeness of his love roared through her like a
river. She was a gorgeous woman. A woman who matched him in mind and heart. A
woman who gave him joy as she learned, explored things. A woman who made him
think and laugh and yearn.

How
could she doubt herself? She couldn’t. Her uncertainties vanished, defeated for
now, as she gave her beloved brother new life.

She
shrugged, settling the last of him into her Power stream, ready to transfer him
with care. From Bossgond and the Medicas, she saw how to weave his mind into
the brain, how to help him connect and spark the electrical impulses that were
thought and memory and knowledge. From Jaquar and Alexa she expanded the
heart-space where Andrew’s emotions would live, sent them flowing there. And
through Luthan the Chevalier Representative of the Singer, she received
delicate touches from that elder woman, which mended Andrew’s spirit, settled
his soul.

Finally
it was done.

Every
little iridescent iota of Andrew gone from her keeping and into his new
physical shell. What lingered and connected them both was the love they had for
each other.

She
slumped, black exhaustion descending, then fell into Jaquar’s strong arms.

You
are a Great Sorceress of Faith
, he said, and his words comforted as
darkness overwhelmed her.

M
arian didn’t
think she’d been unconscious for more than a moment or two, because when she
awoke, she was kneeling on the Tower floor next to Koz—Andrew. Afternoon light
filtered through the windows, and circles of people surrounded her in a spiral,
their hands beginning to unlink.

“Surely
this was the greatest Power Circle ever created,” a melodious male voice said
near her.

She
glanced that way and found a Shieldmarshall smiling at her, pleasure and Power
in his gaze.

A
Medica stroked Andrew-Koz’s hair back from his head. “We will wake him in about
two hours,” the Medica said, smiling grimly. She swept a hand, indicating the
room. “Combined wisdom says that the new mind must have time to settle in, but
cannot be unconscious for too long or the inherent brain patterns of the past
occupant will begin to overcome the new entity.”

“The
new
person
, my brother Andrew.”

Dipping
her head, the Medica agreed. “Andrew.”

The
shell of the Andrew whom Marian had loved all her life lay pitiful and
deserted, green eyes wide and staring, face lax. Marian trembled and looked
away. She couldn’t stay here.

“I
need air,” she said.

Jaquar
helped her to her feet. The rest of the Marshalls and Circlets were now
participating in a single Healing Circle.

Marian
gestured to the others. “Go help.”

“I’d
rather stay with you.”

“I
won’t be a good companion.” She needed to ponder events.

“You
only have to be yourself. I’ll just accompany you.”

She
linked her hands together, afraid the trembling in them would move to her whole
body. “So much has happened,” she whispered.

When
she looked at Koz she saw only a large, virile Lladranan man. She flinched.

Jaquar
hugged her. “He’s there.”

Pulling
away, Marian turned her back on the scene. “I can’t see him. I can only have
faith that we accomplished the soul transfer.”

Jaquar
drew beside her, lifted her fingertips and kissed them. “You are the most
amazing woman I know, and the most daring in your faith.”

She
stared at him. “I’m not—”

“You
trusted people in a different land. You learned from them. Then you even
returned to a world in great danger, a world that will demand much from you.
You trusted us with your Summoning and with your brother. If Alexa can be
called the Guardian of Honor, you can be known as the Sorceress of Faith.”

Marian
didn’t know what to say. It felt as if a ton of responsibility was about to
land on her shoulders. She didn’t have the energy for that.

Andrew’s
former shell was gone. She gulped. She’d known that body as Andrew all her
life. Would it sink into the ground like Perlee’s? Would she miss it, mourn it,
when she might have the real Andrew with her?

She
shook the weird notions off.

Chants
rose around them. Healing Power generated its own sweet smell that mixed with
the sweat of those working, and the lingering stench of the monsters’ bodily
fluids.

“I
want fresh air,” she said.

He
glanced at the open door of the Tower and the area beyond. “It should be safe.
The Song knows, the Marshalls don’t leave a scrap of the horrors around.”

“I’m
too tired to go far,” she said.

“I’ll
be with you.” He took her arm.

This
time she didn’t argue. She walked as steadily as she could outside, and her
left foot still dragged a bit—in all the commotion she had forgotten to tell
anyone about it.

“Why
are you limping?” asked Jaquar.

“A
sangvile—um—bite.”

Jaquar
swore and scooped her up. He whisked her back inside and to the Marshalls’
Healing Circle. Marian didn’t like being the center of attention again, but was
pleased when she felt the sparkling connection with the Marshalls. She’d have
to ensure the Tower Community bonded together better. Her wound was quickly
healed, though a Medica scolded her and told her that her ankle would be weak
for several days.

The
atmosphere in the Tower was even more oppressive. Too many Lladranans. There
were only two Earth people, herself and Alexa—even Andrew had a Lladranan body,
and how much would that change him? She had faith that he’d only become a
better person.

“My
ankle is better enough to walk,” she muttered to Jaquar, and linked fingers
with him.

He
looked at her, smiling. “Thank you.”

“For
forgiving you?” she asked.

“You
have?”

She
kept silent until they left the Tower and emerged into the strong
late-afternoon sunlight. There she stopped to close her eyes and soak it up.
The light refreshed her, reminded her she was alive. And so was Andrew.

When
she opened her eyes, the first thing she saw was Perlee’s sword in the ground.
Next to it was Koz’s. As her gaze swept the area, she saw about twenty other
upright swords, some on the flagstones between the stands. None in the series
of pentacles.

“All
my fault,” she whispered.

“I
don’t think so,” said a voice behind her.

It
was Chalmon. He and Venetria stood, looking bedraggled and exhausted, just
outside the Tower door.

Jaquar
stepped in front of her. “What do you want?”

“To
apologize to Exotique Circlet of the Fifth Degree Marian Harasta,” said
Chalmon.

“You
can’t apologize for something that you don’t regret,” Marian said, stepping up
to join Jaquar. When she thought of what this man and his cohorts had done, her
anger spiked.

Chalmon
eyed her warily. “That’s true.” He swallowed visibly. “And I still think that
the knowledge we received was incalculable and the injury you did the nest
saved many lives.” He inhaled deeply. “But we were wrong to use you so, without
your knowledge, and I apologize for that. I will always carry the burden of
guilt that I was a moral coward and took the easy way out to forestall the consequences
I feared.”

From
what she’d garnered through the link she had with Chalmon and Venetria, Marian
didn’t think anything about Sending her to the maw was easy for anyone. And
Chalmon had been afraid the master and the monsters would invade Venetria’s
island and destroy his lover. Fear for a loved one made a person do strange
things. Like die as Koz did. Like transfer a beloved brother’s soul and spirit
and heart into a different body.

Marian
might understand why Chalmon had acted as he did, but she wouldn’t forgive him
anytime soon. She’d never trust him.

Turning
to Jaquar, Chalmon bowed deeply. “And I apologize to you, Jaquar. I used your
name to deceive Marian. I caused her to believe you betrayed her. I damaged
your relationship with her.”

Jaquar
grunted. “Tell us why you don’t think the attack was specifically because of
Marian.”

“I’m
sure the Dark wants the Exotiques…neutralized. But the next was releasing
sangviles,” Chalmon said simply. “Those are particularly dangerous to the Tower
Community. It’s reasonable that the master had targeted this island as a
stronghold for the horrors all along. In the past it has been rarely used, but
is central to the current Towers.” He shrugged. “I’d hate to think that the
Dark is resourceful enough to target this island in two days. The timing may be
due to Marian, but I believe everything had been planned.”

He
glanced around, his gaze lingering on the upright swords. “Parteger Island will
never be the same. Nor should it be. I believe Circlet Marian will lead us
now.”

“Lead!”
Marian exclaimed.

Chalmon’s
lips curved in a smile-grimace. “Organize us, then. We have been lax in
cooperating, like spoiled children.”

Marian
was shaking her head, but Jaquar squeezed her fingers. She was torn by the
idea—pleased and proud. But the weight of that responsibility pinned her heart.

“Excellent
reasoning regarding today’s attack, Chalmon,” Jaquar said. His smile was
forced, all teeth. “Now go.”

“I
don’t know if his logic is sound,” Marian said. Her damn self-doubt about her
abilities was back.