Soothsayer: Magic Is All Around Us (Soothsayer Series Book 1) (21 page)

We stood up and the swing rocked back and forth.

As we walked side by side back to the house I asked, “So I never had a choice then?”

“Of course you do. You can choose to walk away from all of this,” my aunt clarified as we reached the French doors.

“But I won’t, will I?”

“No, you won’t.” She smiled.

Before we went back inside, where Robert and his family were undoubtedly waiting for us, I wanted to ask her one more thing.

“Aunt Beth?”

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Thank you, for everything.” I hugged her tight.

“You’re very welcome,” she said, kissing the top of my head.

“I need you to promise me something though.” I released her.

“What is it?" Her brow furrowed with concern.

“Promise me you’ll never take my memories from me again.”

“I promise.” She patted my hand and nodded reassuringly.

My Aunt left shortly after our talk, but promised me she would be in touch to teach me how to control my visions. Robert had been by my side since the moment my aunt and I came back in the house. I could tell he was anxious to hear about what she had told me, but he had enough common sense not to ask me in front of his entire family.

I wanted to go home, crawl into bed and enjoy my new memories, but Robert’s mother, Aniela, had insisted we stay for dinner. I couldn’t begrudge her a meal with the son she never got to see and I knew Robert wasn’t going to let me go home without him. And honestly, after last night I’d rather not spend the night alone in my house.

I didn’t say much over the next couple of hours. No one paid much attention to me anyway, which I was grateful for. As the evening went on, my mood rapidly decreased. I was emotionally drained and just wanted some time to myself to process everything my aunt had told me.

“Violet?” Aniela called as Robert said goodbye to his brother.

“Yes, Mrs. Maxwell?” I replied.

“Please, call me Aniela,” she said with a warm smile.

“Okay, Aniela. Thank you again for a wonderful dinner.” I smiled but my heart wasn’t in it.

“Of course, any time, dear.” She waved her hand dismissively. “I want you to know that if you ever need anything, anything at all, you always have people to come to.” She glanced in the direction of her family.

“Thank you.”

“I mean it.” She spoke to me with a motherly tone of voice, authoritative and loving.

“I appreciate it, thank you very much.”

She looked over her shoulder again and then back at me. “And be good to my son. He cares about you a great deal.”

I opened my mouth to say something but she raised her hand in protest.

“No need to make excuses,” she said with finality.

Aniela smiled and walked over to her husband, wrapping her arm around him. She was such a regal woman. It was nice to know she had a compassionate side too.

Annabel kept glancing in my direction and every time she took a step toward me Jake would pull her a little tighter to his side. I felt bad that I wasn’t being a very social guest but my mind was fried and I didn’t have it in me to play the nice house guest.

After another round of goodbyes, Robert and I headed off toward the garage. He didn’t say anything as we walked through the house. I knew he was still dying to know what had transpired between Aunt Beth and I, but being with his family had eased his curiosity some and lightened his mood. We reached the car and he opened my door for me. His gentlemanly ways never ceased to surprise me.

“You okay?” he asked sliding into the driver’s seat.

“Yeah, just out of it.” I sighed and stared out the window.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not right now.” I let out a grunting exhalation. I knew I was going to have to face him sooner or later, but I just wasn’t ready yet.

“I’m here for you when you’re ready.”

“Thank you.”

We spent the rest of the ride in silence. When we got back to my place, I went straight to my room, changed into sweats and a cotton t-shirt and went to brush my teeth. I’d been so preoccupied with everything I had learned about my parents that I hadn’t given much thought to what Aunt Beth had said about mine and Robert’s souls. Could he really be a part of me? I rinsed my mouth and couldn’t help going back into the living room.

Robert flapped a clean sheet in the air, making up his bed on the couch with his back to me, and didn’t notice me enter the room. I watched him unfold the blankets and fluff his pillow. Not only had he saved my life but he had become my friend. Granted it was a tense friendship most of the time, but I felt like the pieces inside of me were finally falling into place.

“I’m gonna head to bed now. Do you need anything?” I asked.

“I can fend for myself,” he said and smiled. “Get some sleep. It’s been a long day.”

“Alright, night.”

“Goodnight,” he said softly.

I checked the front door out of habit and dragged myself to bed.

I spent the next couple hours tossing and turning. The memory of my parents’ lifeless bodies covered in blood played in my mind every time I closed my eyes.
My aunt was right to alter this memory when I was a child
, I thought. If it was too much for me as an adult, there was no way I could have dealt with it when I was young. I'd always considered myself a strong person that could handle anything life threw at me, but lately life had been trying to bury me. Every time I broke through the surface another wave of information crashed on top of me, threatening to drown me entirely.

Sitting up, I switched on the bedside lamp. I wanted to go to the kitchen and make some tea, but I didn’t want to wake Robert if he was sleeping. Sitting on the edge of the bed I picked at my cuticles, wrestling with myself to get up or try and go back to sleep. Chewing off half of my nails, I decided to get up and go to the kitchen.

As I walked down the hall I noticed it wasn’t as dark as I expected.
One of the lamps in the living room must still be on,
I figured. Which meant Robert was probably still awake. I breathed a sigh of relief. If he was still awake then maybe he could help take my mind off things. I turned the corner and saw Robert lying on the couch with a book propped open.

“You’re still awake,” I said, a little breathless. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and the sight of his bare chest completely took me off guard. The dim light grazed his skin, softening the hard lines of his body and showing a gentler, more vulnerable side to him.

“And so are you I see. Is everything alright?” he asked, sitting up and putting the book on the coffee table.

“Yeah, I umm… couldn’t sleep,” I said, tripping over my tongue. “I was going to make some tea, do you want some?”

I did my best to ignore the primal hunger rumbling inside me. Though my hands shook with the desire to feel his body close to mine, this wasn’t the time or place to be having a clandestine affair. Becky’s voice popped into my head,
“Hello, there couldn’t
be
a better time for a frisky midnight romp!”

“Sure, let me help you,” Robert said, standing up and throwing on a cotton t-shirt. I pushed Becky out of my head and forced my feet to take me to the kitchen.

I searched through the darkness and pulled out the tea kettle Harriet had given me as a housewarming gift and filled it with enough water for two.

“Can I help you with anything?” Robert asked as I placed the kettle on the stove and lit the burner.

“I’m good. Making tea isn’t exactly rocket science,” I teased and turned to face him.

Robert leaned against the sink opposite from me, his hands on the counter for support. His shirt clung to him and did very little to hide his well-muscled body. I looked up at the window above his head and focused my attention on the half-crescent moon shining brightly in the sky. Unconsciously, I reached for the pendant around my neck and traced the curve of one of the moons. Soon there would be a new moon and night would fall into a quiet darkness.

“Violet, are you alright?” Robert finally said, breaking the silence.

“I’m fine,” I replied, trying to make the words sound as convincing to myself as to him.

“You’re not fine, you’ve barely said a word after talking to Bethany and now you can’t sleep.” A hard edge marred his voice and his eyes narrowed in apprehension.

“You weren’t sleeping either,” I pointed out. “Does that mean there’s something bothering you?”

“Don’t try and turn this around on me.” His voice turned pleading but his jaw maintained its hard edge. He wasn’t used to people not answering him.

“It’s just…” I paused and turned my back on him to remove two mugs from the cabinet behind me.

“Violet,” Robert said and put his hands on my shoulders. “Let me help you.” He turned me around to face him. The close proximity of his body to mine made my head spin.

Resting my head against his chest I tried to regain control. “You can't help me.”

“Won't you at least let me try?” He placed his hand under my chin and pulled my head up to look at him.

I searched his eyes. I could feel every emotion I’d ever felt in my life boil to the surface. Any other time when I felt overwhelmed I always had Becky to talk to. She was the one person I could trust, the one person who knew all the deep dark corners of my heart. I trusted Robert with my life, but letting him into my heart was something I wasn’t sure I was ready for. I didn’t even know if I could let
anyone
in anymore. I’d spent my whole life building walls to protect myself, but lately my walls had been taking a lot of hit’s and they looked more like Swiss cheese than a fortress.

“I don’t know, Robert,” I sighed and removed his hand from my face. “I just, I don’t know who I am anymore.” I kept my voice low, not wanting to really say the words aloud. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took a deep breath.

He didn’t say anything, but patiently waited for me to continue.

“Everything I’ve learned since I was attacked...it’s just too much,” I said. “Nothing is what I thought it was; nothing in my life has been real.”

The kettle rattled on the stove.

“How am I supposed to deal with any of this?” My voice rose in utter frustration as I pushed away from Robert’s intoxicating touch.

Steam slowly rose from the kettle.

“I never asked for any of this!” I yelled and started pacing. “I don’t want to know anymore, I just want things to go back to how they were!”

The kettle screamed and shook.

I stomped over to the stove and turned off the burner. Slowly the screaming turned to a whisper and the jet of hot steam settled to a calm haze.

“I’m so sorry, Violet,” Robert said, his eyes on the floor.

“It’s not your fault,” I replied and exhaled heavily, feeling guilty for letting my emotions boil over. It wasn’t true that I wanted everything to go back to the way it was.

“Still, I’m very sorry. All of this is a lot to put on a person.”

I pulled two tea bags from the pantry along with a small bottle of whiskey and plucked a lemon from the refrigerator.

“It’s not that, it’s just…” I sighed, not knowing how to explain everything I was feeling. “I feel like I’m learning about someone else’s life.” I put the tea bags in the cups and poured the water over them. “And it’s not just because you came into my life with Magic. Even before I knew you, everything I thought was real, every memory, I just found out it was all a lie. I don’t know who I am anymore.” Pulling a knife from the block by the stove, I began to cut a wedge out of the lemon.

“You are who you are because of everything you’ve been through. That hasn’t changed,” Robert insisted.

“Yes it has. Everything I thought I went through, everything I thought I dealt with, it wasn’t real; it didn’t happen.”

“What do you mean?” Robert crossed his arms and propped himself against the stove.

I sighed and poured a dollop of whiskey into my glass and squeezed the lemon wedge into the steaming liquid. “Warm your cup?” I asked, holding up the bottle.

“Violet…” Robert gave me a disapproving frown.

“Don’t judge me. Do you want some or not?”

“Just a drop.”

Pouring a healthy amount into his cup I handed the mug to him.

“Thank you,” he said and took a sip. “Now, what do you mean none of it really happened?”

“My aunt. She told me… well, she showed me my memories. Memories of things I have no recollection of. I sipped my tea as well, tasting its warm bitterness. I felt the liquid making its way to my stomach, warming my chest and sending a wave of calmness through my body.

“You mean someone altered your memories?”

“Yeah, you know about that?” I raised my eyebrow, only half surprised.

“Of course I do. But it takes very powerful magic to alter someone’s mind.”

“She said the same thing.” I turned and walked into the living room.

I heard Robert’s footsteps on the carpet behind me but he didn’t say anything. Taking another sip of my tea I grabbed the blanket hanging off the back of the loveseat and made my way to the couch. Robert made his way around me and moved his makeshift bed out of the way for me to sit. Curling my legs underneath me I threw the blanket over my feet and rested my cup on my knee. I’d spent many nights curled up like this, a nightcap warming my fingers. Those moments were peaceful, almost serene and usually enhanced with a good book. But I found no comfort in that familiar spot, and suddenly tasted more bitter than sweet from the drink in my hand.

“What did she show you?” Sitting beside me he left almost a whole cushion between us. A small piece of me didn’t like the distance but I ignored it.

“A few of the memories were of my parents using Magic in front of me. My mother didn’t want me to be exposed to Magic. She thought that if she kept me from the Magical world I’d be spared.” I laughed without humor.
So much for that
.