Songbird (17 page)

His lips reached her shoulder as he pulled her closer. When his tongue flicked over the sensitive spot at the side of her throat, she drew a deep, wavering breath.

“
Stimulating?” he said softy.

“
Yes. I can be beautiful on the air. I can stir people’s imaginations.”

“
You don’t need to go on the air for that. You’re beautiful in person.” He deftly untied her halter top at the nape of her neck and tugged downward. The top dropped and her breasts flexed out to his admiring view. “You’re stimulating,” he added, pulling her into his tight embrace. With a gasp she felt the solid ridge of his masculinity burrow into her abdomen.

“
And you definitely stir my imagination,” he said as he covered her mouth with his.

***

“
What do you do about clothes?”

“
Clothes?”

Darkness had just descended. They’d spent the afternoon in and out of bed. Mostly in. They’d ignored the outside world, as if nothing existed but the two of them and the feelings they shared in this tiny, stolen moment in time. Since it had been too hot to cook, Desiree had made a chef’s salad for dinner, which she’d served with the bottle of Chablis she’d put in the refrigerator that morning.

Now, their appetite sated, they relaxed together in the redwood swing on her back patio. The cool night air, perfumed with the scent of orange blossoms from the tree in her backyard, felt delightfully refreshing. They’d each donned shorts and a T-shirt, and Desiree wore the songbird pendant Kyle had admired on their first date.

She tipped the last of the ice-cold Chablis into the stemmed glass in Kyle’s hand. “If you can’t see certain colors, how do you know what clothes go together?”

“
I don’t. I have to rely on what the salesclerks tell me at the store, buy things as a set, and always wear them that way. I stick to gray, blue, and brown most of the time, so that even if I make a mistake about what goes with what, it won’t look too horrendous.”

She was silent for a moment, savoring the wine’s delicate aroma and dry, tangy taste as she pondered his dilemma. “It must be frustrating.”

“
At times.” He grinned. “When I was a kid, my sisters used to laugh at me when I tried to adjust the color on the TV set. They’d mix up the clothes in my drawer so I wore things that looked ridiculous together. I still have a lot of trouble with socks, telling the dark browns from the blacks and blues.”

“
You need a wife to help you dress.” The moment she said the words she regretted them. What a stupid thing to say!

His eyes opened wide. His eyebrows lifted. He studied her with earnest amusement. “Maybe I do.”

She averted her eyes, cleared her throat. “It wasn’t very nice, what your sisters did.”

“
I made up for it. One night when I was a senior in high school, the oldest four girls were sitting around the living room in bathrobes and curlers, with mud masks plastered all over their faces. They were in their teens at the time. I called a bunch of my friends and asked them to come over, guys they all had crushes on.”

“
Kyle! You didn’t.”

“
I did.”

Desiree burst out laughing. “They must have died of embarrassment.”

“
I was blacklisted for months.”

“
I guess they deserved it.”

“
I guess they did.”

He sipped his wine, watching his fingertip trail along her shoulder and down her arm. A quiet sadness filled his eyes and his voice as he said suddenly, “I’m going to miss you.”

His change of mood caught her off-guard and brought a lump to her throat. She looked away. Why was he bringing it up now? She knew this was their last evening together, but she’d avoided thinking about it, the way one avoids thinking about the inevitable end of a wonderful vacation. You know it’ll be over soon, and you’ll have to go home. But you put it out of your mind. You don’t let it spoil your fun.

“
I’ll miss you, too,” she said softly.

“
I wish things were different. I wish I didn’t live so far away, that we could—”

“
It’s okay.” Suddenly the wine tasted bitter. She set down her glass next to the swing. “You don’t have to explain.”

“
I do. I want you to know how much this weekend’s meant to me. You’re a very special woman, Desiree. I care for you a great deal. It’s not going to be easy going back, putting myself through the usual routine, knowing you’re over a thousand miles away.”

She pressed her lips together, not trusting herself to speak.

He drained his glass and set it down. Gently taking her into his arms, he caressed her shoulders and ran his lips over her hair. “I wish I could stay longer, but I can’t. I’ve got an important meeting tomorrow afternoon. I have to leave first thing in the morning.”

“
I understand. I didn’t expect you to stay longer.” Her voice cracked and she inhaled a sobbing breath as tears welled up in her eyes.

“
Don’t cry, sweetheart. Don’t cry.”

“
I’m not.” She squeezed her eyes shut, swallowed hard, and willed the threatening tears to dissolve. “I knew we would only have a few days together. I tried so hard, at first, not to get involved with you because I knew it couldn’t last. But I—”

He pulled back and stared at her. “Who says it can’t last?”

“
You know it can’t. You said at the beginning, ‘let’s take things one day at a time.’ So I did. But let’s be realistic. Where can it go from here? What kind of future could we build, with you firmly planted in Seattle, and me here?”

“
We’ll make it work,” he said emphatically.

“
How? How often could we see each other?”

“
Weekends. Every single weekend. Plenty of couples who live in the same town don’t see each other more often than that.”

“
Every weekend? How can we? It’d cost a fortune.”

“
Who cares? I’ll pay for the airline tickets, the phone bills. I’ll do all the traveling if you want.”

“
You can’t fly down here every single weekend.”

“
I can and I will.”

She shook her head. “We’ll only make each other miserable.”

“
I expect to be miserable five days a week. But we’re going to live gloriously on the weekends.” He slid next to her, stretching one arm behind her along the back of the swing. Lifting the songbird pendant at her throat, he held it up to the moonlight and studied it appreciatively. “Nothing is going to keep me away from my beautiful songbird.”

“
Kyle—”

“
By the way,” he added, “I may have another excuse to come down here. Often.”

“
Oh? Why?”

“
I flew down originally for a meeting with a potential client. While I was here, I took a look at a manufacturing plant in L.A. I’m considering buying it.”

Her pulse quickened. “Really?”

“
I expect to make a decision in the next week or two.” He took one of her hands in his and squeezed it. “If I do buy the company, I’ll be flying down for a week at a time, especially at first while things are getting set up.”

A small flame of hope lit up inside her. Could it be true? A week at a time? Then the flame died down and a voice inside her cried,
What difference would it make? Someday you’d have to leave. Who knows where you’ll end up? And you’ll be back where you started.

He cupped her cheek in his hand and caressed her with his gaze. “But no matter what happens, I’ll be down here as often as I can to see you. Believe that.”

A lone tear trickled down her cheek. “I do. I believe you mean it now.” She grasped his hand, pulled it away from her face and held it in her lap. “But I don’t see how it can last, Kyle. One of us will be hurt in the end.”

He sighed in exasperation. “Desiree, didn’t this weekend mean anything to you? Don’t you care enough about me to even try to make this work?”

“
Yes! I care about you!” she cried. “More than any man I’ve ever met. I wish more than anything that we could be together. I’ll be miserable the moment you leave. But a long-distance relationship can’t work. It’s impossible.”

“
How do you know it’s impossible? Have you ever tried it?”

“
Yes.”

“
When?”

“
When I left my husband!”

Nine

A tense silence reigned for several moments. Desiree stared straight ahead at the dark stretch of yard beyond the patio light’s glow, unwilling to meet his gaze.

“
Tell me, Desiree,” he said finally, his voice soft and deep. “Tell me what happened.”

She leaned her head back against the wooden swing beneath his outstretched arm. She sighed, then spoke in a low monotone.

“
I met Steve the first night I arrived in Tucson to start a new job. He was an attorney, very smart, very successful. We hit it off right away, and before I knew it we were living together. One night, about six months later, we were out having a few drinks, and a friend of Steve’s stopped by our table and asked us when we were going to get married. ‘What’s wrong with right now?’ Steve said. I don’t know when I’ve ever been so excited. I loved him, I really loved him, and he said that he loved me. He grabbed my hand and we got in his car and drove all the way to Las Vegas. We got married at one of those little chapels at two in the morning...you know the kind, where a justice of the peace reads a few well-memorized words, and his wife stands by in her bathrobe, smiling and yawning and wishing you luck.”

She paused for a deep, trembling breath and pressed her palms together, bringing them up against her lips. “Anyway, things were great for a while, but then I lost my job. I applied at every station in Tucson but no one would hire me. Finally I got an offer from a station in Detroit. He didn’t want to move, so....”

“
You left,” Kyle said softly.

She nodded. When had he taken her hand? She couldn’t remember. But she realized he was holding it now, gently massaging her knuckles with his thumb.

“
We tried to keep the marriage together. We visited back and forth on weekends every three or four weeks. Every penny we earned went to the airlines or the phone company. It worked out fine for several months, but then he missed a visit. Then another. He started having all kinds of excuses why he couldn’t come, why I shouldn’t come to see him. Business problems. This and that. Finally I discovered he was seeing someone else. It hurt so much—I was heartbroken. I was lonely, too, but I hadn’t cheated on him. Then he called me one night...he didn’t even have the decency to tell me in person. He wanted to marry her. He wanted a divorce.”

“
I’m sorry.” A brief silence fell, then he said: “I understand why you had to leave, to go where the work was. But why wasn’t he willing to move with you?”

“
He was only licensed to practice law in Arizona. He’d built up a clientele. How could he leave? When it comes down to it, one person in a marriage has to be willing to move, to sacrifice their career if need be for the other. And I don’t think that’s fair to either one of them.”
Which is why I can never marry again,
she wanted to say. But somehow she couldn’t bring herself to voice the words.

His arms tightened suddenly around her. “I think when two people love each other enough, no matter what, they can always find a way to be together.”

“
It’s not always so simple.”

“
It can be.” He stroked her back and shoulders as he hugged her, while rocking the swing back and forth. She clung to him and buried her face against his neck.

“
I don’t want to go through that again,” she whispered, knowing at the same time that she couldn’t bear to let him go. “I’m not strong enough. It took years for my heart to knit itself back together, for me to realize I could survive on my own.”

His lips moved over her shoulder, her neck, and she felt herself succumbing to his magic touch. “Desiree, you were hurt badly, I know, and I’m so very sorry. But you’ve got to let go of the past. What happened to you before isn’t going to happen to us. It’s not going to be easy…nothing worth having ever is. But we can’t throw this away. Not before we’ve even tried.”

He drew back and cradled her face in his hands, adding: “Give us time, sweetheart. Give us a chance to make things work.”

Her eyes brimming with tears, she slid her hands around his neck and pressed her lips against his. His kiss was a warm, sure force. She felt his strength pouring into her body, filling her, making her new. Maybe, just maybe she was wrong. Maybe, somehow, they could make things work. At the moment she couldn’t imagine how, but what did it matter? How could she possibly say goodbye to him, even if she wanted to?

***

“
Sign here, please.” The burly deliveryman extended a clipboard and Desiree dutifully signed her name.

It was Tuesday morning. Kyle had left before sunrise the day before, and Desiree had spent the day and night reliving their long weekend over and over in her mind, her body still tingling from the memory of his touch.

He’d called her at the station Monday afternoon, and again late that night when neither of them could sleep. They’d teased and tantalized each other over the phone with vivid descriptions of what they’d be doing if they were together. It had taken hours to fall asleep.

“
You’d better let me carry this in for you,” the deliveryman said. “It’s pretty heavy.”