Song of the Brokenhearted (15 page)

“Can you tell me why?” she asked, sitting fully up in bed.

“What do you mean?”

“
Why
is a pretty straightforward word.”

Jason leaned his head onto his hands. “Well, okay, you know I only did that stuff once.”

“Which? The pot?”

Jason nodded. “I guess, in that moment, I was tired of being the church boy, as they call me, or the Christian. It gets old. It was stupid, though.”

“You know, I do understand,” Ava said, setting her hand on his arm. Jason looked as if he didn't believe her.

“Did I ever tell you I was suspended from school once?” Ava said, sitting up in bed and brushing back her hair.

“No you weren't,” he said, scrutinizing her face.

“For fighting.”

His eyes bugged out and he laughed. “You're making that up.”

“I'm not.”

“You, fighting? What for? I can't believe this.”

“It's true. I was more defending myself, though. I kissed this girl's boyfriend at a dance.”

“Mom!”

“Well, I didn't know he was her boyfriend, but she didn't give me time to explain.”

“And they suspended you for that?”

“Well, it might have had something to do with the fact that I'd been drinking at the school dance as well. Otherwise I would've never had the guts to take the dare that made me kiss the cutest guy I could find at the dance.”

Jason's face couldn't have appeared more stunned if he'd seen a ghost. “Does Dad know this?”

Ava thought for a moment. “You know, I don't think I've told anyone that story before.”

“Why not?”

“I don't really like revisiting the things that happened when I was a kid.”

“I thought your dad was a pastor.”

“He was. But this was after . . . after he wasn't a pastor anymore. And I was tired of being the pastor's kid, the goody two-shoes.”

“It was after your dad went to prison?”

“Yes. Your Uncle Clancy and I were living with our grandmother in a house full of people, which brought the rumor that we lived on a commune or in a cult. And looking back, that probably wasn't too far from the truth. It was very hard. But that doesn't excuse it. Everyone is responsible for his or her own choices. I did my share of rebelling, but it only hurt me further. It didn't really harm anyone else and no one started looking up to me because of it.”

Jason nodded as if understanding fully.

“I'm sorry that your tree died too.”

Ava bit back a smile at the way he said it, though the reminder made her inwardly groan. It wasn't dead, she still hoped.

“Now, the prescription drugs.”

“They made me able to play ball without my knee hurting.”

“Why didn't you tell us about that? I already made an appointment to see Doctor Andy, but we should have done that months ago if your knee wasn't healing.”

“I think it's fine. I haven't taken anything since that night . . . and it doesn't hurt.”

He admitted he'd grown dependent on the pills. People at school easily provided what he needed. Ava didn't fully believe her son was fine. None of this was normal or all right for a fifteen-year-old. She wondered if his long silence and moodiness, such a contrast to his normal self, had been part of him coming off of his dependency. Ava swallowed down the emotions working their way through her.

“Did you apologize to your dad?”

Jason nodded. She suspected the incident had something to do with the strain in Jason and Dane's relationship as well. They'd all been affected by Dane's absence.

“We're going to get more help, all right? I believe what you're saying, but we need to have your knee checked and talk to the doc about the prescription.”

“You mean, to find out if I have a drug problem?”

“Yes.”

Jason sighed, blowing out his cheeks. “I guess I deserve that. But I promise you, Mom, I'm not a druggie. So many other kids are worse than me. And maybe God let me get caught 'cause I was feeling so guilty, or so that I'd never do it again.”

“You're still grounded, and you'll have periodic drug tests at school, you know. You don't deserve bad things, honey. But there are consequences. This time you got some pretty harsh ones. You lost out on being on the team, and this certainly harmed your shot at college ball.”

Jason frowned at the punishment, then he said slowly, “Dad wants him and me to go on that father-son camping trip.”

“You mean the one at church?” She'd mentioned the trip to Dane months ago, but he hadn't appeared receptive.

“Yeah, guess he already talked to Pastor Matt to see if we could still go since it's such short notice, but with football ending . . .”

“It's in a few weeks, right? And you want to go?”

Jason nodded as if contemplating that. “Guess so. What else am I going to do since I'm grounded for all eternity?”

Ava laughed and ruffled up his hair.

Dane called up from downstairs. “Jason, we gotta scoot, buddy! Aves, text me if you want me to pick you up anything. I'll be back in a bit.”

“Bye, Mom.” Jason leaned down and popped a kiss onto her cheek. She'd barely croaked out a good-bye and he was gone, his feet pounding down the stairway. When he was a boy, Ava compared his running to that of an elephant stomping through the house. She stuck her feet out from under the covers when she heard the sound grow louder again.

Jason popped his head into her room. “Dad said he'll give you two kisses when he gets home. But I wanted to be sure you're okay. I can skip school and take care of my ailing mother.” He grinned mischievously.

“Would love that, but you can't miss any more school after your suspension.”

Jason groaned. “Okay. Well, love you, Mom!”

“Love you too,” she called as he raced back down the stairs.

Ava longed to remain in bed all day, especially after she checked her e-mail on her phone. She immediately closed the program. By the subject lines in the e-mails, news of Dane's company being under investigation had hit the news and gossip lines. She found a number of texts as well, including several from Kayanne.

Kayanne's most recent text read,
I'll be there in thirty minutes if I don't hear from you.

With the Jason incident not even two weeks earlier and now this scandal with the company, Ava sensed their family's honor might never recover. She kept her phone on vibrate as she headed toward the shower. Before the water turned hot, she heard the rumble and checked the number before answering. The area code alerted her to the location. She touched the screen to ignore the call, but the phone slipped off the counter and onto the marble floor.

Grabbing it up, she was checking it to see if it still worked when she heard a girl's voice.

“Hello? Aunt Ava? Are you there?”

“Hi, Bethany,” Ava said, putting the phone to her ear.

“What are you doing?”

Ava bit her lip. This was getting a little too casual.

“I was about to hop in the shower.”

“Are you going somewhere?”

Ava thought this girl was the oddest person she'd ever met.

“A friend is coming over and my husband is home from work today.” She wondered if the news would find its way to her hometown.

“That's nice. Do you have a lot of friends?”

“I have a lot of people I know, but only a few close friends.” Ava looked into her closet full of clothing, but saw nothing to wear today other than the pajamas she had on.

“You go to church a lot, right?”

“Um, yes,” Ava said, wondering what that meant to the girl. “It's not the same kind of church that I grew up in back home.”

“That's probably a good thing. I quit going there. They said I was going to hell for everything I did.”

Ava didn't know how to respond. The girl was in obvious need of someone in her life. She thought of how Aunt Jenny's influence had changed hers and shaped a distinctly different future. Perhaps Ava was supposed to be that for this girl. Wasn't that how it worked in paying it forward? Ava had hoped her work with anyone except her extended bloodline would make up for anything she'd been given. But perhaps God didn't allow trades like that.

“Is that why you go to a different church now?” Bethany asked.

“Sort of. I heard a lot of things like that when I was younger too,” she said carefully. Ava pictured family members calling her up and telling her off for leading Bethany astray. But more than caring what they said, Ava wished for everyone to discover how Jesus offered grace and redemption, not judgment and damnation. God wasn't some scary deity lurking in the corners, anxious for someone to sin so He could pour wrath upon them. That discovery had turned Ava's life completely around from what she'd lived with her entire life.

“They make it seem like they're the only people going to be saved in the whole world. That's just not true, right?”

“No, it's not true, Bethany. God's grace is for everyone who wants it.”

A muffled commotion sounded in the background.

“Just a minute,” Bethany said. The back noise grew silent.

“I had to turn down the TV.”

The clock read well past the time of Kayanne's threat. She'd be there soon, and Ava expected Dane would need her today as well.

“Bethany, I can't talk long right now. Would you like me to call you back?”

“No, that's okay. I'll call you later. Do you like flowers?”

What is up with this girl?
Ava wondered, and then immediately felt guilty for her impatience. She set down her toothbrush and tried to give the conversation her full attention.

“I do like flowers.”

“What's your favorite kind?” Bethany asked.

“My new favorite is dahlias.”

“Dahlias? I don't know what those are.”

“What are your favorite kind of flowers?” Ava took a thick towel from the cupboard and carried it to the bathtub. Today had turned into a bath morning.

“I love all kinds, but if I had to pick, I guess orchids. I read a book once about orchids and I didn't know what those were, so I looked them up online. They're really pretty. I'll look up dahlias next time I'm at the library—that's where I get online.”

“Orchids are very beautiful too. You like to read?” Ava hoped her voice didn't betray too much surprise. Orchids and books certainly didn't fit with most of her family's interests.

“If it's a good one. Mostly I read trashy romance novels, but I'm trying to read more better books.”

“Maybe I can send you some of my favorites.”

“Really? That would be great. Oh, I gotta go. My boyfriend just got here and he doesn't like me talking on the phone.”

“Wait? What?” Ava stopped short.

“I'll look up dahlias soon. Bye.” And Bethany was gone.

Ava stared at the phone, wondering if something was mentally wrong with this poor girl. She jumped as the phone buzzed again.

“You haven't called me. I'm getting really worried.” Kayanne sounded like she'd been running.

“I thought you were coming over.”

“You hate when people just show up at your house, so that was a threat to get you to call me.”

“Oh, I was expecting you any moment.”

“Then why do I hear the bath water running?”

“I got behind. I keep getting phone calls from my cousin.”

Kayanne took a deep breath. “
Your
cousin? But you don't talk to your side of the family.”

“I know. She's younger than Sienna, and suddenly she started calling me.”

“What does she want?”