Read Song of Everlasting Sorrow Online
Authors: Wang Anyi
Song of Everlasting Sorrow (75 page)
“You don’t want it? You probably don’t know what’s inside . . . let me show you,” she said.
She was about to open the box when he reached over and held the lid down to prevent her from opening it. As their hands touched, he felt how cold she was. Taking her hands in his, he too began to weep, struck by the tragedy and wondering how things could have ended up like this. Wang Qiyao wrestled her hands free, determined to open the box, saying that he was sure to like what was inside and that once he saw it he would understand how reasonable her proposition was. She was willing, in all sincerity, to give him all she had—how could he refuse to give her just a few years? Wang Qiyao’s words were like a knife cutting through his heart. Old Colour couldn’t say a word—all he could offer were his tears. He should never have come back: he had not realized how pitiful Wang Qiyao had become. Forty years of romance and it all came down to this pathetic ending. He had missed the splendid climax and only caught the ending: how ill-fated was that? Finally he struggled free of her and got away. In one short day he had run away from her twice, each time more desperate than the last. His hands still carried traces of her icy skin—it left him with a premonition of death. He promised himself,
Never again can I go back to that place!
Never again can I go back to that place!
Spring arrived without mercy, as did the spring rains. A warm humid haze encompassed the city and open umbrellas were the blooming flowers of this rainy season, as the pedestrians under the umbrellas scurried down the damp streets. Long Legs finally returned. He had been gone so long that the rumors about him had eventually died down. Zhang Yonghong had almost lost hope waiting for him; if it hadn’t been for Old Colour, who helped her pass the time, who knows how she would have got through those days of waiting. She had even considered turning her attention to Old Colour, but was sensitive enough to recognize the state of his emotions. She could tell that he was only spending time with her to help him get through a difficult phase in his own life. He never talked about it and she never asked, which he always appreciated. But just because he appreciated her understanding didn’t mean that he appreciated her in
that
way. She therefore nipped that idea in the bud.
that
way. She therefore nipped that idea in the bud.
One day Old Colour said he had a favor to ask of Zhang Yonghong. When she asked what, he placed two keys tied together on a string in her hand, saying all she had to do was give these keys to Wang Qiyao the next time she went to see her. Zhang Yonghong refrained from asking why he didn’t deliver them himself, knowing that they must have had some kind of falling out. She didn’t dare let her imagination run wild; the whole thing was way too complicated and she had her own problems to deal with. She took the keys and put them in her pocketbook. They had dinner together and parted ways after leaving the restaurant. On the way home Zhang Yonghong passed by Peace Lane and thought she would go in to drop off the keys; seeing that the lights were out in Wang Qiyao’s apartment, she decided to come back some other time. Over the next few days, she kept forgetting to go back. When she remembered, something else came up, so she decided to go the next day. But then the next day Long Legs made his quiet return.
Long Legs brought Zhang Yonghong a set of French cosmetics and a sleek woolen hat. The two went to Café Dream, where they sat at a candlelit table. Zhang Yonghong told him everything that had happened in his absence, but Long Legs had changed—he had little to say and seemed distracted. Although he was looking directly at Zhang Yonghong, he may as well have been gazing at her from the other side of the ocean: he had returned, but his spirit was still wandering. The candles flickered gently as they spoke in whispered tones; as they drank more wine, everything took on a surreal aspect, emerging and dissolving, running together into a rainbow of hazy brilliance. Long Legs, however, stood on the margins of this brilliance, in the darkest spot, and no matter how hard he looked he couldn’t see himself—he had disappeared. Café Dream was indeed a place where one could go to lose oneself.
Slowly, Long Legs lightened up and started talking about his adventures in Hong Kong. He was struck by a bolt of inspiration and Hong Kong suddenly appeared before his eyes—he could see it all so clearly! He told Zhang Yonghong all the amazing things he had done since he left. A brilliant prospect lay ahead of him—he even broached the subject of marriage. He said that they should get married in either Bangkok or San Francisco, where his father’s mansions would be the perfect place for a ceremony. Zhang Yonghong was infected by his excitement; tears of happiness glimmered in her eyes. Although they were both practical minded, they couldn’t fight the dreamlike atmosphere of the café. The candle on the table floated in a small dish of water, never sinking, and seemed to be burning for all eternity. The melted wax stuck firmly together, feeding the flame of their fantasies.
Who knows how much wine the newly reunited lovers consumed that night? After they paid the bill and were getting up to leave, Zhang Yonghong suddenly remembered the keys and took them out of her pocketbook.
“Isn’t it strange?” she said with a laugh. “Old Colour asked me to give these keys to Wang Qiyao—as if he couldn’t do it himself!”
Long Legs took the keys and examined them. Suddenly something lit up inside him and he sobered up instantly.
“I don’t want to go back to her apartment either,” said Zhang Yonghong. “Who’s to know how she’d react . . . .”
She went on to tell Long Legs about what had happened that day at Nocturnal Shanghai. Long Legs wasn’t really paying attention to her story; his whole attention was focused on examining those keys.
“Why don’t you return them for me?” Zhang Yonghong suggested.
He consented and put the keys in his pocket as they left Café Dream. After seeing Zhang Yonghong home, he rode alone down the streets and somehow found himself heading in the direction of Wang Qiyao’s apartment. As he rode into the
longtang
, he seemed to see the shadow of Old Colour standing there in the darkness, slipping in through the back door. He rode over to the door and, putting one foot down on the ground to steady the bike, took out the keys and selected one to try in the lock. The lock turned easily. He rotated it back to its original position and pulled it back out. At this moment he noticed that there was still light, even on that starless, moonless night—it was bright enough for him to make out the cracks and the grain on the wooden door. The city was never completely dark: think how many lights burned throughout the night, and how many people stay awake even during its darkest hours! There you will find the sources of this light. Long Legs held the key in the palm of his hand and rode out of the
longtang
. The lights were out in Wang Qiyao’s apartment.
longtang
, he seemed to see the shadow of Old Colour standing there in the darkness, slipping in through the back door. He rode over to the door and, putting one foot down on the ground to steady the bike, took out the keys and selected one to try in the lock. The lock turned easily. He rotated it back to its original position and pulled it back out. At this moment he noticed that there was still light, even on that starless, moonless night—it was bright enough for him to make out the cracks and the grain on the wooden door. The city was never completely dark: think how many lights burned throughout the night, and how many people stay awake even during its darkest hours! There you will find the sources of this light. Long Legs held the key in the palm of his hand and rode out of the
longtang
. The lights were out in Wang Qiyao’s apartment.
At three o’clock the next day Long Legs paid a visit to Wang Qiyao, bringing along a box of cosmetics for her. As soon as he got upstairs, the bitter smell of Chinese herbs assailed his nostrils; a pot of medicine was simmering on the stove. Wang Qiyao had been taking a nap and got up only when he arrived. Long Legs noticed her dry skin and yellow complexion and asked her what was wrong. Wang Qiyao said she had too much cold energy in her stomach and too much heat in her liver. She wanted to make him some tea, but Long Legs insisted on helping himself, and offered to bring her medicine over to her. Wang Qiyao said that it still needed ten more minutes, so Long Legs sat down. They chatted about how important it is to take care of one’s health, and Long Legs told her about his trip to Hong Kong; before they knew it, ten minutes had gone by. He went into the kitchen to turn off the stove and pour the medicine into a bowl for her, almost scalding himself in the process. He set the bowl of black bitter liquid beside her bed.
He waited until she had finished the medicine and was sucking on a piece of candy to get the bitter taste out of her mouth before he placed the two keys on the table. He told her that Old Colour had asked him to drop them off for him. The instant she laid eyes on the keys, Wang Qiyao spat out the candy and spit up a mouthful of her medicine into the bowl. Long Legs rushed over to pat her on the back; after the fit had passed, he helped her to lie back down.
“That’s life for you,” Wang Qiyao laughed. “I’m sorry for not being a good host today, but I’ll have you over some other time.”
Long Legs insisted that none of that was necessary—after all, they were old friends. He was only concerned that here she was, sick, with no one to take care of her. He decided to keep her company, and sitting down beside her, he regaled her with all kinds of stories. At dusk he went into the kitchen to cook dinner, but didn’t even know where to start and ended up just standing there in front of the gas stove. Finally Wang Qiyao staggered in and said that she would handle it. Long Legs wanted to help but, not knowing how, just stood beside her, lending a hand when needed. Before long, two bowls of noodles were ready; Wang Qiyao also steamed a bowl of salted fish patty especially for him. After she finished half her noodles, Wang Qiyao’s face seemed to regain its color. She appeared to be in better spirits and smiled wryly as she looked around the room. “Look at this room! The instant I fell ill, all the dust started to accumulate, as if it wants to bury me!”
“What’s the big deal about dust? You just wipe it away and it’s gone!”
With that, he actually picked up a rag and started wiping the furniture, which really did brighten up the place. He also turned on the television and the room finally began to feel alive with the music.
Long Legs came back first thing in the morning for the next two days, exhausting every ounce of his energy in taking care of Wang Qiyao. Watching him, Wang Qiyao couldn’t help wondering,
Why is he bothering with all this?
But then she figured,
Why else?
And then, mocking herself:
Why should I care about his reasons anyway?
Nevertheless, she deeply appreciated Long Legs being there for her at such a difficult time, and tried her best to share all kinds of gossip to keep him amused. Long Legs was spellbound by her stories and became even more solicitous in hopes of hearing more. When she grew tired from talking, it would be his turn to tell her stories. He finally got around to the price of gold, telling her that its value on the black market was several times what was quoted on the official exchange.
Why is he bothering with all this?
But then she figured,
Why else?
And then, mocking herself:
Why should I care about his reasons anyway?
Nevertheless, she deeply appreciated Long Legs being there for her at such a difficult time, and tried her best to share all kinds of gossip to keep him amused. Long Legs was spellbound by her stories and became even more solicitous in hopes of hearing more. When she grew tired from talking, it would be his turn to tell her stories. He finally got around to the price of gold, telling her that its value on the black market was several times what was quoted on the official exchange.
“But isn’t that illegal?” asked Wang Qiyao. “I remember people getting executed for doing that in the fifties!”
“There is the old saying, ‘The government can get away with arson, but the people aren’t allowed to light a lamp’!” joked Long Legs. “If you want to talk about illegal dealings, well, the state is the biggest crook out there! What we do on the black market is small time compared to them!”
Wang Qiyao smiled. “The way you put it makes sense.”
“Even so, everything comes down to timing. Right now things are fairly open, but who knows when the authorities might clamp down,” remarked Long Legs.
“So what do you suggest?” asked Wang Qiyao.
“Well, if you have gold, I’d say that now is the best time to exchange it.”
“That may be, but who has gold lying around in this day and age?”
“If I had to hazard a guess,” said Long Legs, “I’d say that at least one out of every hundred has some gold stashed away somewhere. When we were ransacking people’s homes during the Cultural Revolution, we even found two gold bars hidden in the home of a rickshaw coolie!”
Wang Qiyao laughed, “I wish I was that rickshaw coolie!”
Long Legs laughed too, and that marked the end of that conversation. Over the next few days, Wang Qiyao gradually regained her strength and started to feel better.
“It’s been a long time since everybody got together. What do you say about having a party this Saturday night?” she suggested.
“Sounds great!” Long Legs readily assented. “I haven’t really seen any of my friends since getting back from Hong Kong, so this is a good opportunity to see everybody.”
“I’ll take care of the food, and you can be in charge of inviting the people,” Wang Qiyao said.
Long Legs agreed and headed for the door. When he got to the stairs, he suddenly turned around. “Should we invite Old Colour?”
“Why ever not?” asked Wang Qiyao. “He should be the first one on the list!”
After that, they each began making preparations. Because Wang Qiyao was still weak, she decided to take the easy route; so instead of doing all the cooking, she put in an order with the privately owned restaurant that had recently opened on the corner. She had everything delivered so that she would only have to prepare some beverages, fruit, and pastries. The day of the party, all she did was rearrange the furniture slightly and put out a new tablecloth and some fresh flowers; suddenly the entire room felt different. Wang Qiyao suddenly thought to herself,
It has been so long since I hosted a party. For so long there has been only one person coming in and out of this apartment, but tonight we
’
ll have some fun!
It has been so long since I hosted a party. For so long there has been only one person coming in and out of this apartment, but tonight we
’
ll have some fun!
Everything was ready by three o’clock; all that remained was for the guests to arrive and the food to be delivered. The tidy room felt a bit empty. Wang Qiyao sat all alone, and her heart also felt a bit empty. The sun shone into the window, creating a powerful glare. The children didn’t have to go to school on Saturday afternoon, and they were all playing outside in the
longtang
, singing songs, some new and others several decades old and familiar to Wang Qiyao. The potted oleanders on the rooftop terrace across the way were sprouting new leaves, green and glossy. After all, it was spring and the days were getting longer. It seemed as if the sun would never set. The staircase was silent, the guests had yet to arrive, but the crisp sounds of footsteps reverberated down the
longtang
, now approaching, now fading away. But there was no need to worry: an exciting night was approaching—it would be here soon enough.
longtang
, singing songs, some new and others several decades old and familiar to Wang Qiyao. The potted oleanders on the rooftop terrace across the way were sprouting new leaves, green and glossy. After all, it was spring and the days were getting longer. It seemed as if the sun would never set. The staircase was silent, the guests had yet to arrive, but the crisp sounds of footsteps reverberated down the
longtang
, now approaching, now fading away. But there was no need to worry: an exciting night was approaching—it would be here soon enough.
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