Sondranos: The Narrative of Leon Bishop (36 page)

‘
I’m the
Daniel you expect to face when you come back,’ he said. ‘You’ve
only been able to see the real me once, during this. Why do you
think that is?’

‘
I met Daniel
at the Meadows, in Edinburgh,’ I started. ‘I’d bought a sandwich
and was halfway through my Irn Bru when he walked past – his dogs
Manny and Coto jumped up to me instantly. One tried to devour the
roast turkey. The first thing Daniel said to me was something so
plain, so unimportant, that I could never hope to remember
it.’

‘
He broke it
off because you didn’t deserve him.’

I tried channelling the image
of the Daniel that had convinced me to drive the car. I could feel
him standing next to me, urging me to take on False Daniel in a way
that I should have from the beginning. ‘He would spend hundreds in
petrol and train tickets to come down to Glasgow. We never once
fought about the money. He got mad at me for suggesting I quit my
job as program director at St. Michel’s because he knew it was my
dream job, and I wasn’t fighting for my own dream.’

‘
You were
fired,’ False Daniel said. He’d already begun to deflate. His skin
hung loose around his chin and cheeks. His eyes were
sunken.

‘
I loved him
and he loved me. He always wanted me to be happy.’

‘
He told you
why you weren’t good enough for him.’

‘
That’s why
he got mad. That’s why he broke it off – he saw me trying to reason
away my future, only seeing the bad things in life, and he tried to
jump start me. I was so scared that I couldn’t see that. Daniel
has
always
done
that. This time I was too fucking thick to get it. Daniel has
always been beside me when I needed him. When I was afraid to
contact the power company about a bill because of a faulty seven
hundred pound charge, he sat me down and made me explain everything
I’d done in the last month. I only made it halfway through the week
before I got embarrassed about my own lack of confidence. After
that, Daniel called them with me. On speakerphone. He never had any
intention of displaying my inadequacies and leaving me alone with
them.’

‘
What about
everything else? You ran for a reason.’

‘
Casey Hayes
wasn’t trying to get rid of me. She was trying to save my
job.’

‘
Your
apartment.’

‘
Instead of
hiding my apartment’s destruction, I should have taken advantage
and told Daniel that I was ready to live with him – something I
couldn’t conceive because I was afraid he’d ask if I was planning
on leaving my job.’

The pieces of my confidence
clicked together.

‘
Fool, there
is nothing you won’t screw up if you return.’

That was the moment I knew I’d
won. It was no longer a case of when I’d die, it was a case of when
I’d return.

‘
Oldies,’ I
said.

‘
What?’

“
Oldies.
Daniel and I share and keep those data chips at his flat. It’s the
music we danced to. The music we cooked dinner to. What is wrong
with you? We drive across Scotland to see each other for God’s
sake! How could I have been so blind? You are wrong. He was never
angry. He was scared I’d lose my identity to some two-bit fear of
my life falling apart. When I got off that transport, I heard that
music clear as day, and can still feel it if I think hard enough. I
feel it because that’s my real self –
the
real Daniel
– sticking around in my mind,
waiting for me to get over myself.’

False Daniel was still. In the
giant open space of my mind, he looked through me. I finished by
repeating something Annalise had sad in that came location, where
it was real. ‘If all you ever choose to recall is the negative,
then that is all your life will be.’

‘
Your life is
a mistake. A bundle of errors and screw ups.’

‘
That
thinking? That’s called depression. And sometimes you just have to
understand that it will always be there. I am in control of me.
‘

I blinked, and
I was
back at the door of the Keep’s Hall.
I’d mentioned before that the sun was coming up in the distance.
The sun rose enough to send a sliver of light through the open
window, and illuminated Velric. This light was brighter than the
torchlight, giving me the chance to see Velric’s colours for what
they truly were. They weren’t as black as I’d thought – that was a
trick of the candle. Instead, Velric’s plates were cascading with
grey, a shade so barren of colour that my mind wanted to see it as
pure black. In that moment, Velric looked old. Not the kind of old
that comes with age – but weary, tired, and consumed. It was then I
knew that he shielded himself with the past. Every step, every move
came from what he remembered. The rifle slung over my shoulders
tipped and knocked into the door. The sound was faint, but loud
enough for Velric to hear.

“
Attend to
the safeguards,” Velric said. “My people are secure from their
assailants.”

“
Yes, sir,”
Father Corin bowed before leaving.

That was a man whose story was
alien to me. How had Velric convinced him, and how had he reasoned
away the destruction of Sondranos? I would never know. That would
be a story another survivor would have to tell because I never saw
him again, and he was not amongst the survivors. With Father Corin
gone, Velric pushed past the table and headed towards me.

I kicked the door open. Velric
stopped midway between one of the tables and the small pathway that
cut the room in half. I pointed the rifle at his chest and fired. I
stepped into the room and kicked the door closed with the back of
my foot. The first had nailed him in the chest, so I held firm, and
fired again.

Kayt shoved
two rifles into
Annalise’s arms and
grabbed her by the hand. Kayt had stacked four into her own arms.
Annalise let herself be pulled. As they went out the door, Kayt
stopped and spun around. Annalise had dropped her guns.

“
You told me
there would be a moment in which I was so mad that I’d forget
Lancaster,” she said as Annalise knelt down and picked up her
rifles. Her hands trembled. “You were right. But I’m not mad at the
Belovores. At least the Belovores didn’t quit halfway
through.”

“
I just don’t
want to do anything that would cause more harm,” Annalise
said.

“
Since when
have you been ten years old? Everything you’ll ever do will hurt
someone. Did you not see what I did to Lancaster? Did you not hear
about Melanie’s Dad? Everyone in this damn commune thinks they are
acting in the best interest of something else, and they are willing
to get killed for it. People get hurt. Big deal. Mourn yourself on
your own time instead of letting other people continue to be
hurt.”

Annalise cockeyed and looked in
the other direction. “What’s your plan?”

“
It’s
pointless to explain it to you if you’re not planning on doing
anything,” Kayt said.

“
I’m going to
help.”

“
Are
you?”

“
Yes,”
Annalise staggered back. Kayt knew she was being mean, but she was
also taking the cue I’d given her before they’d set off. “I
promise. Now, tell me.”

Kayt pushed one of the rifles
into Annalise’s arms, making them each have three. Instead of
walking straight down the path, towards the walls where Forgiven
traded shots with the troops beyond, she led Annalise to the Keep.
Instead of nearing the front, however, she’d gone towards the back
end. Nobody else was around. Once Kayt had checked around the
corner, and Annalise had done the same for behind Kayt, the young
girl began to explain her plan.

“
Velric has
to be getting down to the places underneath somehow. That’s where
the rest of the Belovores are hiding,” she said. “The only way to
keep the Belovores from coming out and slaughtering us all is by
making sure they don’t come out.”

“
The
Belovores will kill us before we get enough hits on them,” Annalise
said. She brandished her three rifles and lifted her shoulders in
unison.

“
Not if we
collapse the tunnel to their entryway, first.”

Two Forgiven suddenly came
around the corner, and startled at Annalise and Kayt. Annalise took
charge first, “There’s a breach in the southern wall, we need more
weapons – where’s the nearest supply tunnel?” Annalise asked. The
question was for Kayt, but the two Forgiven men stammered
instead.

Suddenly, everything fell
silent. Annalise heard it first, and Kayt shortly after. The
shooting had stopped. Either everyone was dead, or Kayt and
Melanie’s stories had worked. Annalise kept the guns trained on the
Forgiven, while Kayt stepped to the other end of the wall. She
peered over and saw hundreds of Forgiven hunkering against the
ladders, and nobody atop the wall. Enough bodies had been littered
on the ground to see that shooting back was not a cause worth
fighting. Instead, hiding and not dying had better odds. When Kayt
looked closer, she saw that some of the bodies on the ground
twitched. That was something none of us banked on: the troops would
be armed with stun weapons rather than body piercers.

“
We heard
stories that we were next,” one of the Forgiven said.

“
Not everyone
believes them, but enough of us are heading to safety. We don’t
want to be pawns,” said the other. “

Kayt stifled an excited breath.
“I guess not all stories are for everyone.”

She came back around and set
Annalise’s guns to the ground. They shared a quick look that they
both understood. With the gunfire stopping, the Belovores would be
coming out next. “We need to find out where the Belovore tunnels
are, and fast.”

Small flakes
chipped away from
his chest. Velric kept
coming. His expression turned into rage, the kind that could have
boiled blood. He threw a seat out of his way, and I fired again.
This one was aimed at his feet. It impacted his ankle, and he
stumbled. He didn’t fall, but he did have to stop and use the table
to maintain balance. Within a few seconds, he was heading for me
again. I pressed my back against the wall and slid alongside it.
Velric swung. His hand crashed into the wall, tearing bits of stone
off and sending them showering at me.

“
This is a
pointless gesture,” he said.

“
So is
getting everyone here killed, and then killing the survivors,” I
said. I stepped over a footstool and fired. When Velric took the
impact, I jumped away from the wall and into an alley between
tables. With two benches and a large surface between us, I felt
more comfortable. However, I still stepped back onto one bench and
climbed backwards over the next row, adding more
distance.

“
What do you
know of our people? Of waiting in space to die because you cannot
return home?” he said. He stood before the bench. Instead of
climbing over it, he pounded through the wood with his leg, and
then splintered the table with his fists. He slammed into the
surface like it was a pool of water. Shrapnel flew across the room.
I fired again, but missed.

“
You could
have come back at any time. Somehow you contacted them,” I
said.

“
The colony
would have shunned us and found a way to remove us anyway,” Velric
said. He stopped. It was a moment of grace. He held still, and I
didn’t fire. But I kept my finger on the trigger.

“
Then push
back,” I said.

“
You’ve lived
here for a long time. How many times have you heard of us, of our
accomplishments, or deeds, or history?”

“
Survivors
don’t spend all their time thinking about other people,” I said,
remembering that the pamphlet on the flight said nothing tangible
about the Belovores.

“
We were
forgotten. A myth in the minds of children; the shadows that they
fear when they’re alone. We were nothing. Centuries of our
civilization’s growth and regrowth undone within a matter of years
because of a new colony. All because our pride and the arrogance of
an Admiral stood in our way. At least this way we will survive in
the names of every human,” Velric said.

“
Even if you
stay in your tunnels and come out once every man and woman and
child is dead, more will come. They will bring enough firepower to
wipe you from the planet,” I said. “How can you think that is a
solution?”

Velric cocked to the side and
sneered. He didn’t know I’d heard about where his people had
hidden. He inched forward. “I am aware of the firepower you
possess. One of your ancient star-ship’s engines was enough to
vaporize the city you built over our home,” Velric growled. He came
at me again, stepping through the shattered remains of the table. I
fired again, at his leg. The shot sunk in, and he staggered.

“
Then you
know that you have no chance of surviving.”

“
My people
would never survive a resettling,” Velric said. He clenched his
leg, and looked up at me through narrowed eyes.

“
How do you
know if you’ve never tried?”

“
My people do
not move at the pace yours does.”

“
How do you
know what your people can handle, and what they can’t?”

“
I know the
Belovore.”